If you are a parent of a teen (or a soon-to-be teen), your child’s relationship with screens and social media probably worries you. But should it?

Two Harvard researchers who have extensively studied teens and their use of technology will discuss their findings and how parents can offer better support and guidance on the subject during a talk in Brooklyn next week.

City Dads Group co-founder Matt Schneider will lead the discussion, titled Screens, Teens & Rattled Parents. It will explore this digital generation gap, unfounded assumptions about the evils and benefits of social media, and a “reset” for adults.

The talk is scheduled for 6:30 to 8 p.m., Tuesday, Sept .13, at the Center for Brooklyn History, 128 Pierrepont St., in Brooklyn.

Emily Weinstein and Carrie James recently published Behind Their Screens: What Teens are Facing (and Adults are Missing). The book explores the complex digital universe that teens inhabit and the often misguided efforts of adults to intervene. Based on a multiyear project surveying more than 3,500 teens, their findings look at social media phenomena that prompt concern if not outright panic on the part of well-intentioned grownups. These include sexting, “comparison quicksand,” and “digital pacifying.”

Weinstein is a research director at Project Zero at Harvard, which has a mission to understand and nurture human potential. She is also a lecturer at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education. James is a sociologist and principle investigator at Project Zero. Major publications, including Time, The Boston Globe, The Washington Post and The Atlantic, have discussed their work.

Reservations are required for Screens, Teens & Rattled Parents. They can be made online. Guests must provide proof of vaccination and are encouraged to wear masks while onsite at all times. In-person capacity is limited and seating is on a first-come, first-served basis.

When it comes to dynamic duos, Batman and Robin of Gotham have nothing on Led and Jake Bradshaw of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.

Led, 48, a professional comic book illustrator, and his son, Jake, an 11-year-old with autism, have bonded over superheroes and comic books. But flash back to nearly eight years ago, when Jake was first diagnosed — Led wondered what the future held for his son. He worried about their relationship. He knew nothing about autism but began reading everything he could and asking therapists and other professionals lots of questions.

While scrolling the internet, looking for the latest sci-fi and comic book news, he came across a reference to art therapy and its impact for children with autism. Led, who began drawing at age 3 and never stopped, would add drawing for 25 minutes every day to Jake’s routine. Colors were used to express emotions. Led would engage Jake and ask why he was happy, angry or sad.

He beamed over his son’s obsession with superheroes, reminding him of his younger self. Jake had a speech delay but Led indicated he didn’t recognize it as a sign of autism. Art, something Led was totally at ease with, could help Jake express himself, even without words. He empowered Jake to draw himself as a superhero. That’s when things really took off.

Jake Jetpulse: A superhero with autism born

By embracing Jake’s passion, while luring him into learning, they have created a series of comic/workbooks, The Adventures of Jake Jetpulse, that gives readers a glimpse into Jake’s life on the spectrum.

The villains and monsters in Jake Jetpulse comics are from Jake’s nightmares, Led said. Jake would draw them and name them. To fight off the monsters, Led made “monster repellant spray.”

“I didn’t know what I was walking into. I was just being an attentive dad,” Led said. “I’ve created the superhero universe with him. The stories come from his experience, and I draw to bring it to life.”

Little did Jake realize, he was reading and learning while gaining more confidence. His teacher at school, at the time, shared the comic and activity books with other children.

“If you’re diagnosed with autism, that’s not bad,” Jake said. “It’s OK. You’re still unique and you can do anything.”

Working on social skills at school

Jake brings his creativity and his love of writing and drawing to his classroom at AHRC New York City’s Brooklyn Blue Feather Elementary School.

If it was up to Jake, “he would sit and draw all day,” said Rose Dorcia, his teacher. He is friendly, sociable, talkative, and very inquisitive, she added. “He reads very well, with good pronunciation and he understands most of what he reads.”

Like other children on the spectrum, Jake struggles with social skills. Rose said he’s learning how to approach other children if he can join their activity in an appropriate manner. He’s also working on reading body language, she said.

Led also continues to learn, every day from Jake. By encouraging Jake to pursue his special interests, he has learned to communicate better with him.

Led’s tip for other parents of children with autism?

“Do everything you can to be the best advocate for your child,” Led said. “Establish relationships with therapists and others who work with your child. Ask them, ‘What can I do at home, so my child doesn’t forget this.’”

And most importantly, he added, “make things fun.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

AHRC New York City is a nonprofit organization that advocates for people who are neurodiverse to lead full and equitable lives. It helps more than 15,000 people annually, and calls for better education, living arrangements, prospects for work and fuller lives in the community for the neurodiverse.

My father carries my son in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Very much of the Earth has moved to make this photo possible. Very much. And almost everything leading up to taking it was near disastrous.

He’d called us from the airport, about an hour after he’d landed. Texts and calls weren’t working from my phone to his, or from his to mine before that moment. Perhaps it was because he was coming from Canada, perhaps it was because of atmospheric interference, perhaps it could have been anything. It was that kind of day. Everything was going wrong.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We’d been looking forward to hosting my father for some time. Events had conspired over the past few years to keep him in Nova Scotia and us in New York. There was a cancer scare for him. There was an early December move for us, canceling a holiday trip to see him.

We’d kept my father in my son’s life thanks to technology. Skype let Liam grow up with weekly chats from his smiling Papa. He and Nana were not strangers to my son. They’re part of our life in every way except for physically. But that was all about to change, they would finally be reunited for Thanksgiving.

And then we just couldn’t get to the damn airport.

Under the river and through the boroughs

Navigating the streets of New York in the best of times can be a tricky proposition but this night would prove to be a test of everyone’s patience. We’d managed to avoid the snarl of slow moving cars trying to get through the Lincoln Tunnel but had patted ourselves on the back too soon. Trying to get across town to the Midtown Tunnel proved to be maddening, and it was only after a close-to-an-hour wait in traffic that we were informed it was closed, and we’d need to take the 59th Street Bridge instead. We’d turned a 20-minute drive into an hour and a half.

It was an amateur mistake on our part and the cost was leaving my father and Nana waiting in the airport for over an hour after they’d landed.

Everything was fine once we got there, right? All was forgiven, we were together now, and that’s what was important, yes? Well, yeah, for a moment, that’s what the general feeling was.

Then Liam threw up all over my father.

He’d never done anything like that before. But then, we hadn’t left him strapped in a child safety seat for 90 minutes while we sat in traffic. A mad scramble led to an improvised garbage bag and about a pack and half of baby wipes later, the majority of the mess was cleaned up. You know, except for the smell.

Welcome to New York, Dad.

But things settled as things do. We had a laugh about it, told each other this would be a great story for later down the road, and things were only bound to get better from there. So naturally, that’s when we realized we’d made a wrong turn and were heading deeper into Queens instead of back to Manhattan.

To make a long story short, it took us another 90 minutes to get home. When traffic is snarled in New York, it stays snarled these days. Sixth Avenue was closed off for a street fair. Fifth Avenue was closed off because everybody hates Donald Trump.

There was nothing for it but to make small talk as we crawled across town. My father made pithy remarks about the woman who had kept pace with us, walking on the sidewalk from Madison to 10th Avenue.

Finally, we were at our building. I loaded all the luggage and Liam’s car seat while my father picked up my now sleeping son to carry him to our apartment. We were finally home, a family, three generations for the holidays, persevering through every test New York’s traffic could throw at us.

Which is when Liam peed all over my father.

You know, we say things like “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.” Or “I could have died of embarrassment.” Or “Fuck me gently with a rusty chainsaw.” But those platitudes don’t really cover the mortification and sense of failure that came over me at that moment. We’d been looking so forward to this. And while all we could do was laugh at how absurdly terrible my father’s welcome had been, that sense that I’d failed him was inescapable.

It did fade, of course. All embarrassments do. This wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just, to borrow a famous children’s title, a series of unfortunate events. My father placed no blame, and repeatedly made it clear how happy he was to just be here.

Brooklyn Bridge crossing

The next morning was a whirlwind. My wife was running a race and it was going to be up to me to get my father, Nana, Liam and me, to Central Park first thing in the morning to see her cross the finish line. Then a trip to Chinatown for dim sum, and a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.

But that sense of disappointment from the night before lingered. I rushed them out the door to the race, feeling like nothing more like a sled dog driver, whipping his charges to “Mush!” We stood around the Golden Unicorn waiting on a table for 45 minutes, desperately trying to keep the 3-year-old entertained, as it felt more to me like testing Nana and Papa’s patience rather than Liam’s.

By the time we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, the cold and the wind had picked up. Instead of a scenic stroll, and enjoying a classic way to take in the Big Apple, we huddled against the sudden biting cold, practically sprinting our way to DUMBO.

I’d begun to panic. This was supposed to be a joyful reunion for my father and my son. Instead, this was a disaster. My stress level rose, my temper shortened, and even through the icy air, the inside of my head felt heated and scrambled. I felt myself spinning into a panic. This wasn’t perfect at all. This wasn’t going according to plan. This was an absolute fucking disaster.

That’s when my wife gently tapped my arm. I looked blearily up to see her smile and point.

“Get picture,” she said.

My father and my son had wandered off to see the East River. Liam loves boats and Dad was pointing out the big ship steaming toward the harbor, a red and white tanker called Alara. Liam squealed with delight and tore away off down the boardwalk toward it, my father gamely giving chase.

They played on the Brooklyn shore together for a long time. Nana, my wife, and I would intermittently join them, but this moment was all about my father and my son, together at last. They ran, they laughed, they played, and they were happy to be with each other.

Everything that had been bothering me melted away. This was the moment I’d been waiting for, and it came regardless of the traffic, the puke, the pee, or the cold weather. I wasn’t the only one who’d been looking forward to this moment, we all had. My father, my wife, Nana, and my son.

My father carries my son in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Very much of the Earth had moved to make this picture possible. Very much. And no, not all of it was perfect.

Everything with his visit was going to be fine. Everything always was going to be. The picture with the Brooklyn Bridge was proof of this. It will stay in my mind forever.

Down the block from our old Brooklyn apartment lies a Halloween wonderland. The entire block of East 4th Street, between Caton and Albemarle avenues, goes all out for the holiday. Every yard is adorned with displays and dioramas, and every house becomes haunted. There are few places better to trick-or-treat in New York City.

I’d always loved Halloween, and cherished my memories of my own days going door to door for candy as a boy. But I’d seen nothing like this growing up. What this neighborhood was doing was Halloween as I’d always dreamed it could be.

It was difficult not to get more and more excited as Oct. 31 drew nearer. My son and I would walk down that street each day, watching with delight as more and more decorations appeared, and as more and more of the houses grew haunted.

One place had dragons and monsters posed on the roof, and coming out of the windows. One yard had skeletons engaged in a mock political debate, complete with captions. There were graveyards, inflatable characters, zombies, ghosts and goblins galore. One place even had a  giant bat which would swoop down on you from the roof.

This. Was going. To be. AWESOME!

Costumes were decided upon. Liam liked stars and superheroes, so he would be Captain America. My wife and I would dress to match him. We carved pumpkins, decorated our own house, and talked about how we would soon go trick-or-treat.

Finally Halloween came and it felt like Christmas. I was so excited to make Liam’s first trick-or-treat an amazing memory that I could barely wait. I dashed around all morning, picking up candy, accessories and last-minute details before it was time to go out.

We passed through the neighborhood again that morning, and it was bustling with activity. People were already milling around in costumes, adjusting displays and decorations while testing their sound systems. The atmosphere was one of joyous celebration, and everyone was smiling and happy, cranking up my anticipation even more.

Finally, it was time. Liam happily played with his Captain America shield and his trick-or-treat pumpkin bucket. My wife and I donned our matching superhero outfits and loaded up the stroller with necessities. Now it was time to go celebrate Halloween.

Trick-or-treat … or have none of it

Excitedly, I led my family to the Halloween wonderland on the next block. Music played, crowds of costumed children laughed and squealed, and people handed out candy everywhere. It was right out a movie, right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. It was perfect!

And Liam was having none of it.

Our first thought was that he was scared or freaked out because of the way Liam was screaming at people. Soon it became apparent. Liam wasn’t frightened, he was pissed off! When people offered him candy he would slap it out of their hands. He would scream at other children not because he thought they were scary, but because he wanted them to go away.

It didn’t matter to him at all that some houses were putting on a great show. He didn’t care about the flaming Jack o’lanterns on poles. He barely glanced at the Star Wars themed house. He wanted nothing to do with any of the activities or playgrounds that people had set up for visiting children. He just wanted to get out of there.

I couldn’t understand it. How could he not be into this? This was an awesome Halloween setting. There could be nowhere else as awesome as this for his first trick-or-treat! What the hell was the problem with this kid? Couldn’t he see how perfect this was? We were so excited for this!

That’s when I caught my mistake.

It wasn’t Liam who was excited to go trick-or-treat. It was me.

The Parenting Fail

None of this was his idea, and he hadn’t asked to do any of this. After all, he wasn’t even 3 years old. He didn’t know or care what Halloween was, let alone what it meant to go trick-or-treat.

I’d been projecting my own feelings onto him. Because I was so hyped up for his first Halloween adventure, I’d made the assumption that he was, too. It had never occurred to me that he wouldn’t be into the idea of trick-or-treat, and do you know why?

Because I wasn’t thinking about him. I was thinking about me.

A basic truth about parenting is that we are all kinda making this up as we go. There aren’t any instructions, everyone gives us conflicting advice, and what works for one child won’t work for another. So if you’re trying to do something because it works for you, that doesn’t mean it’s going to work for your child.

In my rush to create a good memory for my son, I’d been overtaken by the desire to create a good memory for myself. And that’s not how good memories are supposed to work. You can’t make them happen, you have to let them happen.

And so we did what Liam wanted. We left the Halloween wonderland and decided the memory of his first trick-or-treat could wait another year. Instead we stopped off at a local eatery so he could have French fries. Liam loves french fries. They make him happy. And when he’s happy, we’re all happy.

We’ve since moved out of Brooklyn. We no longer live near the Halloween Wonderland of East 4th Street. I don’t know if we’ll ever get the opportunity to go back there for a trick-or-treat trip, but it’s something I’ve filed away as a future possibility.

But the thing is, it doesn’t matter if we get back there or not. Our new neighborhood also has lots of Halloween awesomeness. The same excitement is growing in me again, but this time I’m tempering it with what Liam wants to do.

Last year when I took him to trick-or-treat, I was only tricking myself. This year, it will be an actual treat for everyone involved. Maybe even good enough to skip the French fries.

SPONSORED: As many of you know, we have an ongoing “NYC Dads Care” program that gets us involved in doing volunteer activities with organizations like BabyBuggy, raising funds during Movember, and other initiatives that fit in with our core values.  As part of our NYC Dads Care program, a fleet of NYC Dads Group members and their families teamed up with Britax / BOB and participated in The Promise Walk to raise awareness for Preeclampsia. Thanks to NYC Dads Group member Jeff Chew for this post about the event. -L.S.

I Googled “preeclampsia” when I first heard about “The Promise Walk” for Preeclampsia through the NYC Dads Meetup Group. “Do you know what preeclampsia is,” I asked my wife, “you’ve heard of this before?”

“Yes, I’ve heard of it.”

“From where?”

“I studied epidemiology, so I picked it up from there.”

“But people who haven’t studied that usually wouldn’t know about preeclampsia?”

“Probably not.”

Quite disturbing to hear, since my ‘Googling’ told me that it happens in 6-8% of pregnancies worldwide. That is a pretty scary number! But truth be told, I never knew any friends or relatives that ever had to go through such a condition. I also felt incredibly fortunate that my wife never had to go through this with our son (who is now 8 months old and healthy), where apparently this condition is most common in first pregnancies.

I have to be brutally honest. I had other reasons for originally wanting to be part of the Promise Walk team that would trek over the Brooklyn Bridge with our families. I am a relatively new member of the NYC Dads Group and thought this would be a perfect opportunity to meet other dads and their families. Additionally, not to be trumped by the other amazing events this group has organized like free advanced movie screenings, gym and music classes, and other get-togethers, Britax was generous enough to provide a B-Agile stroller to some newcomers of the NYC Dads Care program for the Promise Walk as well as cover our registration fees. I was sold!

I brought my wife and my son to Walt Whitman Park in Brooklyn on the day of the event. Since we arrived early, we had plenty of time to get to know the other members of the group. It was delightful to meet all different kinds of dads, each with their beautiful families. What was most refreshing was the lack of pretentiousness, and each and every member brought infectiously positive energy to that park.

Before we left, everyone gathered up for an enormous group photo (see above). The organizers of the Promise Walk began sharing their speeches. It was heartwarming to hear how passionate the speakers were about raising awareness of Preeclampsia. One of the speakers began to tell her first-hand experience with this condition, and I really could feel the pain in her voice, and could only imagine what her ordeal must have been. When the speeches were over, I put my arm around my wife as we started out with the rest of the group. She must have thought it was just part of the usual way we walk together, but my thoughts were about how fortunate I was.

The dads’ group was met by a police officer, who asked if we were ready to go. A personal police escort! Definitely, the only way to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge! Wish I had this when I used to jog over this bridge.

As the group walked, Lance Somerfeld, our fearless leader, took a moment to look back at the fleet of dads, moms, kids, and babies, and said “this is what it’s all about!”

We stopped in the middle of the bridge for another group photo, where our valiant police escort offered to take the picture for us. Normally in this situation, passers-by wouldn’t think twice about walking into your shot. Apparently, when a cop is behind the camera, they let him take his time!

When we finally reached the other end of the bridge, some families made the u-turn to walk back over to Walt Whitman Park for more activities and fun for the kids (and apparently a raffle and contest too, including Britax strollers). However, my wife and I had afternoon plans so we (and a number of other families) decided to head out from there.

I know I originally had other reasons for taking part in The Promise Walk, but now I honestly do not know of a better way for my family and me to spend our Saturday that day. Lance and the rest of the NYC Dads Group really created something special, along with socially responsible companies and organizations like Britax and the Preeclampsia Foundation. Raising awareness for preeclampsia is something that needs to be done. People shouldn’t have to study epidemiology in school or have a loved one suffer from this to find out what this is. If walking over the Brooklyn Bridge with a bunch of awesome dads is a good start for bringing attention to preeclampsia, then I want to know when’s the next time we get to do this. But until then, I think you should do a quick Google search like what I did, and read more about it.

**Disclosure Note: This is a paid, sponsored event with Britax / BOB. The opinions expressed in this post are our own and have not been influenced by our sponsor.  We limit our advertising to relevant partners that offer products and services we believe in and use ourselves. 

About the author

Jeff Chew is a member of the NYC Dads Group. He is a Senior Presentation Layer Engineer at Razorfish, and lives in Manhattan with his wife and eight-month-old son.

Editor’s Note: NYC Dads Group member Gregg Jobson-Larkin does an amazing job describing our invigorating “stroll” over the Brooklyn Bridge last week to celebrate the final four of the NCAA “March Madness” college basketball tournament.

“Growing up, spoiled a lot of things.”

Author Betty Smith’s esteemed introspective commentary in her novel A Tree Grows in Brooklyn rang true on this year’s warmest day so far, at least in the hearts and minds of 20 NYC Dads Group members and their children. They gathered to celebrate the NCAA basketball tournament and participate in the BOB “Motion Madness” Brooklyn Bridge event.

Sultry R&B singer Alicia Keyes waves from a black ghost-proscenium multi-screened multimedia mecca of Jumbotroned light wizardry to a packed house of 19,000 fans at Barclays Center in Brooklyn. She shouts, “Brooklyn, I Love YOU!” And of course, the crowd goes LOUD, uproariously. The band strikes the introduction for “This Girl Is On Fire,” one of her latest releases, and in that moment, all my mind can envision is the troupe of NYC Dads Group members.

About half of the NYC Dads Group community includes fathers who have the esteemed charge of daily raising the wee-one(s), while the significant other is away at other work. Dennis and I are of such honored pedigree, such is our lineage, our fatherly station in this form of metropolitan family lifestyle choice. We, the NYC Dads Group, are a growing trend of parentage with nearly 750 New York Metro area-based members.

Our group met on the Manhattan plaza of the “The Great Bridge” just like the opening ceremonies on May 24, 1883, and in homage to that grand pomp and circumstance opening day, the BOB Motion Stroller Madness Armada of Dads pushed on across the wooden bridge path atop the bustling East River.

These Brooklyn-bound NYC baby dads and their toddler elite were elevated and suspended on a grand Programme of Exercise, by chief engineer Washington A. Roebling’s engineering marvel, built by 1,000 workmen.

That day’s past, and this day’s present are reminisced by this 1883 vintaged description: “A holiday for high and low, rich and poor; it was in fact the People’s Day. More delightful weather never dawned upon a festal morning. The heavens were radiant with celestial blue of approaching summer; silvery fragments of clouds sailed gracefully across the firmaments like winged messengers, bearing greetings of work well done; the clearest of spring sunshine tinged everything with a touch of gold, and brisk, bracing breeze blown up from the Atlantic cooled the atmosphere to a healthful and invigorating temperature. The incoming dawn revealed the twin cities gorgeous in gala attire.” This excerpt is from the book titled, Opening Ceremonies of the New York Brooklyn Bridge by The Brooklyn Eagle Job Printing Department.

It was a day for paparazzi photographers, sightseers, onlookers, passersby and the just plain curious, paused; taking in the vision of fatherly-stroller loveliness. Dads Group members attempt to quell inquiring-mind queries with informative banter and quaint repartee, as the well-practiced PR-friendly troupe posed at the Manhattan tower, doling out snacks to their chauffeured mini-elite passengers, and then pressed on to the Brooklyn terminus of the marvelous bridge.

We, like grass-eating bovine lounged on the rolling hill of green grass partitioned only by concrete promenade river views and quaint park restoration structures. Our bundles of joy sprawling, running, scootering and eating from our fatherly bento, zip-locked, lunch-wrapped preparations. It doesn’t get any better than this. Priceless!

Alicia Keys sings a New York anthem, and unlike the chairman’s version Frank Sinatra proclaims, “If you can make it here…” well we made it, up, over and under the Brooklyn Bridge … only Alicia sings, “In New York.” And just like that, I’m back in the concert moment, head-nodding to Jay-Z, which all just happened to have occurred on the very same day!

The entire experience was another point of growth. The Alicia Keys concert? A close second to the Brooklyn Bridge excursion.

About the author

Gregg Jobson-Larkin is a proud father of three children. He lives in New York with his family.

**Disclosure: This is a paid, sponsored post with Britax / BOB. The opinions expressed in this post are our own and have not been influenced by our sponsor. We limit our advertising to relevant partners that offer products and services we believe in and use ourselves. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently, an expectant father approached me at the New Parent Expo (an exciting event drawing a few thousand new and expectant parents in the NY Metro area), and pulled me aside.  He said quite frankly, “listen, I want to get prepared to be a dad, what is the SHORT LIST of resources that I NEED?”  Well, my answer was to pick up one new book on fatherhood, watch Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block DVD, as well as enrolling in a New Dad Boot Camp workshop.

What is New Dad Boot Camp & Why is it so important for expectant dads?

This question was hard for me to answer until I finally had the opportunity to participate in our first workshop last weekend in Brooklyn at Tribeca Parenting.  An invigorating experience – a frank conversation about the anxiety of becoming a new father, how to juggle work-life, how to be a good partner, managing relatives, and more.  What struck me as the most intriguing part of this workshop taught by veteran dads for new and expectant dads was the practical part of the workshop.

Having two babies involved in the workshop provided true hands-on experience for these expectant dads to get their “hands dirty” by changing a diaper on a child (not a doll), feeding a couple of bottles and burping the baby,  watching the veteran dads attempt to soothe their baby, and watching the little ones nap in their arms.  this takes hands-on to a whole new level.  A far cry from the birthing class that I took when I was an expectant dad in a cramped room with 40 other parents, being lectured to by a parenting expert, and learning to swaddle and hold a baby by using a doll.

New Dads Boot Camp was a candid conversation where no topic was off limits.  It was not a lecture!  It was a relaxed roundtable conversation where dads opened up about being vulnerable, making mistakes, soliciting advice…all in the name of being a good dad.

We can go on and on about the positive experience & benefits of New Dads Boot Camp for all expectant fathers in New York City.  Instead, we will leave you with the testimonials in the video above created by Tim Mulvaney, a valued NYC Dads Group member & one of our local New Dad Boot Camp instructors.  Plus, check out below, a small round-up of media attention from some of our favorite local media outlets.

Our request: Please share this with at least one new expectant family in New York City.  We have two more workshops at Tribeca Parenting this month (Nov 5 on UES  / Nov 12 in Tribeca) & two more classes just added in January. Dads Don’t always ask for directions or like to read the manual – so please share with them this new and exciting resource!  thanks

This week’s guest blog post kicks off our week with the latest review of Treasure Island at the Irondale Center in Brooklyn. Inspiring dad, Jovi, captivates us with his bonding experience with daughter, Ellis, as the two of them hit the theater.  You can’t help noticing how amazing it is to see the wonder in your child’s eyes when they experience things for the very first time…

The day started out pretty much the same as any weekday except that it went by so fast for my daughter Ellis. I was excited but I could only imagine how she felt. She’s 6 years old (going on 16) and she confessed beforehand that she doesn’t care much about pirates as Captain Hook scared her during her first viewing of Peter Pan when she was only three. But she has a thing for hidden treasures … and that thought alone had her sail through the day without a problem from sun up to sun down.

Getting to the show was easy. It is being held at The Irondale Center for Theater, Education, and Outreach which is a unique space and the first of its kind to open in the new BAM Cultural District. It was once Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian Church’s Sunday school room and according to their website it is a 7,300 square-foot center for creating and presenting inventive theater, as well as for using theater to educate children. As we pass through the ticket counter she said “Dad, look down! It’s a trail… c’mon let’s go!” The floors were marked and obviously lead to the stage but I saw the twinkle in her eyes and I knew she was now in her own world filled with clues and puzzles and the promise of a good show about to begin. With 28-foot high ceilings, a 1,900-square-foot mezzanine/gallery, gothic-style wall paintings and stained glass windows, you can imagine my mental oohs and aahs that such a space existed to bring theater to my child.

The whole place was decked out with a maritime feel that a good sailor would feel comfortable in. There were several old ropes hanging down from the ceiling, rowboats, paddles & vast colorful canvas fabrics around the stage. There’s even a 15-foot tall mast and I wondered how they got that in there. To me it looked solid enough that not even a handful of sailors can knock down.

The Adventure began when the lights dimmed and the magic of sounds and effects took us to an oceanic experience while holding on to our seats. The story of Treasure Island was based on the popular novel by Robert Louis Stevenson of the same title and adapted for the stage by Vernon Morris and Tony Award Winner B.H. Barry. The show has 13 actors and an actual real parrot and to put it simply it narrates a tale of “pirates and buried gold”. Ellis’s ears were burning with excitement when I told her what little I know of the story centering on the courage and bravery of a young boy Jim Hawkins.

It sounds like a simplistic plot but it’s anything but. As the show is a rollicking fun ride and detailed a spectacular adventure. The characters were amazingly good and gave the audience a glimpse of being a “real pirate”. Ellis did not dare close her eyes even though it was way past her bedtime. Though the chocolate bar we got during intermission may have helped a little. I think there were at least five fight scenes involving swordplay and even gun fights. I did wish I brought my 3-year-old son with us, as he would have loved the fight scenes. The show went on for 2-½ hrs a bit lengthy for some children but I saw some young kids in the crowd that night and they didn’t look bored at all. It was just that engrossing! The biggest factor of all was that the audience seats were close to the stage and the performers delivered lines so naturally and stayed so true to their characters. My daughter jumped and squealed more than once during the show. The whole feel of the night felt like we were spying on pirates in an island somewhere far far away from Brooklyn. It was a memorable night that was followed by much curiosity about the book and asking for even more adventure themed plays days after. It stimulated her imagination and fueled her love for learning new things. So if you or your kids want to escape the noise and feel of metropolitan New York and feel daring enough to go on a swashbuckling adventure, Treasure Island at the Irondale Center is only a boat- err- train ride away.

This morning, Lisa Murphy of Fox 5 NY’s Good Day Street Talk, shined the spotlight on activities that bring kids and families together. My son Jake & I had the opportunity to go into the studio to share some insight into the NYC Dads Group – a community of involved fathers that meets weekly for socialization and support as we navigate parenthood.  The show airs at 6:00am on a Saturday morning so I am not sure if anyone watched it…so the clip is displayed above.

First, let me say that this was a truly interesting experience for me.  A real bonding experience for Jake & I.  Jake enjoyed playing in the oversized bathroom in the “Green Room” as we waited for make-up.  Sitting in the shower and flicking on the heat lamp switch were his highlights.  Then, off to make-up together.  This was a first for me in my adult life.  I have not worn make-up since participating in my camp’s production of Oliver Twist when I was 13 years old. It only lasted a minute, but I required lots of dabs from the powder puff to keep the shine from my forehead.  To the beautician’s dismay, Jake enjoyed playing with anything he could reach off the counter top.

Next, we were escorted into the set of the studio.  As most parents know…you never know what to expect from a two year old.  They don’t understand a script!  Fortunately, Jake stayed in close proximity to me during the entire segment (a remarkable feat if you know Jake).  Some other notable points: You may notice Jake’s stuff on the glass coffee table like his milk cup, water cup, and pretzel snack – the crew did not know what to make of that as I set it up – they agreed to let it fly.  Jake was fascinated by all of the bright lights, moving cameras, and multiple TV screens in our view (who isn’t?).  As you can observe, he pointed & shouted out as the cameras were moving “down”, loved belting out his name when he saw himself on the TV screen (understandably so), and even gave a special shout out to his friend Sam Jeffery (as she flashed up on a clip).

To be candid, there were several moments where I was so concerned about what Jake was up to, that I missed the interview question or was in mid-sentence, and got derailed.  Multi-tasking was never my strong suit!  The most memorable moment was when Jake decided to stick his hand in Lisa’s (anchor) water glass as the tape was rolling.  He enjoyed how all of his fingers could fit into the glass & how the water dripped off his fingers and onto the coffee table.  He liked it so much, he decided to go in for a second and third dip.  As you might expect, the crew swooped in during the commercial break to clean up the mess and replace the water glass.

Lastly, the Brooklyn Children’s Museum was part of the segment as well.  Upon returning to the Green Room to retrieve our belongings, we were welcomed by a turtle, iguana, and Boa Constrictor.  Jake was overjoyed!  Overall, a unique and memorable experience for both of us.

Should parents be allowed to bring their babies and children to bars?

Here’s a controversial topic where few dads are willing to go on record. However, with March Madness upon us, and the opportunity to watch 32 games on a Thursday and Friday-during the day-this is certainly a relevant topic. Since they outlawed smoking in NYC bars, these nearly vacant burger & beer social outlets, are breeding grounds for at-home parents with their kids during the day. What’s bringing the issue to a head is brewing out of Brooklyn…

CNN’s Brooklyn Brewhaha: Babies In Bars by Jessica Ravitz, focuses on a freelance writer & at-home-dad in Park Slope, Brooklyn, (Matt Gross, of the Dad Wagon) who enjoys hitting the occasional bar during the day with his child because it’s one way to enjoy adult interaction. The Brooklyn debate stems from a popular & local bar that banned strollers from their premises about two years ago – later it overturned the policy. “Parents, on the other hand, say that as long as they’re responsible and their kids behave, they deserve the right to grab a quick drink with friends. And, they might add, in a place like New York — where the cost of baby sitters can be prohibitive and tight living quarters can make hosting guests at home difficult — they need places to hang out, too.”

CNN STORY HIGHLIGHTS
– Babies in bars are the subject of heated discussion in Brooklyn, where strollers rule
– Singles don’t want to watch their language, behavior; parents don’t want to be shut out
– Debate began when bar banned strollers; policy overturned after outcry, blogger says
– Dad says he’s “not knocking back double vodkas while my daughter is stumbling around”

All dads need to check out this article and give their two cents on this one: Should parents be allowed to bring their babies and children to bars?