My father carries my son in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Very much of the Earth has moved to make this photo possible. Very much. And almost everything leading up to taking it was near disastrous.

He’d called us from the airport, about an hour after he’d landed. Texts and calls weren’t working from my phone to his, or from his to mine before that moment. Perhaps it was because he was coming from Canada, perhaps it was because of atmospheric interference, perhaps it could have been anything. It was that kind of day. Everything was going wrong.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We’d been looking forward to hosting my father for some time. Events had conspired over the past few years to keep him in Nova Scotia and us in New York. There was a cancer scare for him. There was an early December move for us, canceling a holiday trip to see him.

We’d kept my father in my son’s life thanks to technology. Skype let Liam grow up with weekly chats from his smiling Papa. He and Nana were not strangers to my son. They’re part of our life in every way except for physically. But that was all about to change, they would finally be reunited for Thanksgiving.

And then we just couldn’t get to the damn airport.

Under the river and through the boroughs

Navigating the streets of New York in the best of times can be a tricky proposition but this night would prove to be a test of everyone’s patience. We’d managed to avoid the snarl of slow moving cars trying to get through the Lincoln Tunnel but had patted ourselves on the back too soon. Trying to get across town to the Midtown Tunnel proved to be maddening, and it was only after a close-to-an-hour wait in traffic that we were informed it was closed, and we’d need to take the 59th Street Bridge instead. We’d turned a 20-minute drive into an hour and a half.

It was an amateur mistake on our part and the cost was leaving my father and Nana waiting in the airport for over an hour after they’d landed.

Everything was fine once we got there, right? All was forgiven, we were together now, and that’s what was important, yes? Well, yeah, for a moment, that’s what the general feeling was.

Then Liam threw up all over my father.

He’d never done anything like that before. But then, we hadn’t left him strapped in a child safety seat for 90 minutes while we sat in traffic. A mad scramble led to an improvised garbage bag and about a pack and half of baby wipes later, the majority of the mess was cleaned up. You know, except for the smell.

Welcome to New York, Dad.

But things settled as things do. We had a laugh about it, told each other this would be a great story for later down the road, and things were only bound to get better from there. So naturally, that’s when we realized we’d made a wrong turn and were heading deeper into Queens instead of back to Manhattan.

To make a long story short, it took us another 90 minutes to get home. When traffic is snarled in New York, it stays snarled these days. Sixth Avenue was closed off for a street fair. Fifth Avenue was closed off because everybody hates Donald Trump.

There was nothing for it but to make small talk as we crawled across town. My father made pithy remarks about the woman who had kept pace with us, walking on the sidewalk from Madison to 10th Avenue.

Finally, we were at our building. I loaded all the luggage and Liam’s car seat while my father picked up my now sleeping son to carry him to our apartment. We were finally home, a family, three generations for the holidays, persevering through every test New York’s traffic could throw at us.

Which is when Liam peed all over my father.

You know, we say things like “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.” Or “I could have died of embarrassment.” Or “Fuck me gently with a rusty chainsaw.” But those platitudes don’t really cover the mortification and sense of failure that came over me at that moment. We’d been looking so forward to this. And while all we could do was laugh at how absurdly terrible my father’s welcome had been, that sense that I’d failed him was inescapable.

It did fade, of course. All embarrassments do. This wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just, to borrow a famous children’s title, a series of unfortunate events. My father placed no blame, and repeatedly made it clear how happy he was to just be here.

Brooklyn Bridge crossing

The next morning was a whirlwind. My wife was running a race and it was going to be up to me to get my father, Nana, Liam and me, to Central Park first thing in the morning to see her cross the finish line. Then a trip to Chinatown for dim sum, and a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.

But that sense of disappointment from the night before lingered. I rushed them out the door to the race, feeling like nothing more like a sled dog driver, whipping his charges to “Mush!” We stood around the Golden Unicorn waiting on a table for 45 minutes, desperately trying to keep the 3-year-old entertained, as it felt more to me like testing Nana and Papa’s patience rather than Liam’s.

By the time we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, the cold and the wind had picked up. Instead of a scenic stroll, and enjoying a classic way to take in the Big Apple, we huddled against the sudden biting cold, practically sprinting our way to DUMBO.

I’d begun to panic. This was supposed to be a joyful reunion for my father and my son. Instead, this was a disaster. My stress level rose, my temper shortened, and even through the icy air, the inside of my head felt heated and scrambled. I felt myself spinning into a panic. This wasn’t perfect at all. This wasn’t going according to plan. This was an absolute fucking disaster.

That’s when my wife gently tapped my arm. I looked blearily up to see her smile and point.

“Get picture,” she said.

My father and my son had wandered off to see the East River. Liam loves boats and Dad was pointing out the big ship steaming toward the harbor, a red and white tanker called Alara. Liam squealed with delight and tore away off down the boardwalk toward it, my father gamely giving chase.

They played on the Brooklyn shore together for a long time. Nana, my wife, and I would intermittently join them, but this moment was all about my father and my son, together at last. They ran, they laughed, they played, and they were happy to be with each other.

Everything that had been bothering me melted away. This was the moment I’d been waiting for, and it came regardless of the traffic, the puke, the pee, or the cold weather. I wasn’t the only one who’d been looking forward to this moment, we all had. My father, my wife, Nana, and my son.

My father carries my son in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Very much of the Earth had moved to make this picture possible. Very much. And no, not all of it was perfect.

Everything with his visit was going to be fine. Everything always was going to be. The picture with the Brooklyn Bridge was proof of this. It will stay in my mind forever.

SPONSORED: As many of you know, we have an ongoing “NYC Dads Care” program that gets us involved in doing volunteer activities with organizations like BabyBuggy, raising funds during Movember, and other initiatives that fit in with our core values.  As part of our NYC Dads Care program, a fleet of NYC Dads Group members and their families teamed up with Britax / BOB and participated in The Promise Walk to raise awareness for Preeclampsia. Thanks to NYC Dads Group member Jeff Chew for this post about the event. -L.S.

I Googled “preeclampsia” when I first heard about “The Promise Walk” for Preeclampsia through the NYC Dads Meetup Group. “Do you know what preeclampsia is,” I asked my wife, “you’ve heard of this before?”

“Yes, I’ve heard of it.”

“From where?”

“I studied epidemiology, so I picked it up from there.”

“But people who haven’t studied that usually wouldn’t know about preeclampsia?”

“Probably not.”

Quite disturbing to hear, since my ‘Googling’ told me that it happens in 6-8% of pregnancies worldwide. That is a pretty scary number! But truth be told, I never knew any friends or relatives that ever had to go through such a condition. I also felt incredibly fortunate that my wife never had to go through this with our son (who is now 8 months old and healthy), where apparently this condition is most common in first pregnancies.

I have to be brutally honest. I had other reasons for originally wanting to be part of the Promise Walk team that would trek over the Brooklyn Bridge with our families. I am a relatively new member of the NYC Dads Group and thought this would be a perfect opportunity to meet other dads and their families. Additionally, not to be trumped by the other amazing events this group has organized like free advanced movie screenings, gym and music classes, and other get-togethers, Britax was generous enough to provide a B-Agile stroller to some newcomers of the NYC Dads Care program for the Promise Walk as well as cover our registration fees. I was sold!

I brought my wife and my son to Walt Whitman Park in Brooklyn on the day of the event. Since we arrived early, we had plenty of time to get to know the other members of the group. It was delightful to meet all different kinds of dads, each with their beautiful families. What was most refreshing was the lack of pretentiousness, and each and every member brought infectiously positive energy to that park.

Before we left, everyone gathered up for an enormous group photo (see above). The organizers of the Promise Walk began sharing their speeches. It was heartwarming to hear how passionate the speakers were about raising awareness of Preeclampsia. One of the speakers began to tell her first-hand experience with this condition, and I really could feel the pain in her voice, and could only imagine what her ordeal must have been. When the speeches were over, I put my arm around my wife as we started out with the rest of the group. She must have thought it was just part of the usual way we walk together, but my thoughts were about how fortunate I was.

The dads’ group was met by a police officer, who asked if we were ready to go. A personal police escort! Definitely, the only way to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge! Wish I had this when I used to jog over this bridge.

As the group walked, Lance Somerfeld, our fearless leader, took a moment to look back at the fleet of dads, moms, kids, and babies, and said “this is what it’s all about!”

We stopped in the middle of the bridge for another group photo, where our valiant police escort offered to take the picture for us. Normally in this situation, passers-by wouldn’t think twice about walking into your shot. Apparently, when a cop is behind the camera, they let him take his time!

When we finally reached the other end of the bridge, some families made the u-turn to walk back over to Walt Whitman Park for more activities and fun for the kids (and apparently a raffle and contest too, including Britax strollers). However, my wife and I had afternoon plans so we (and a number of other families) decided to head out from there.

I know I originally had other reasons for taking part in The Promise Walk, but now I honestly do not know of a better way for my family and me to spend our Saturday that day. Lance and the rest of the NYC Dads Group really created something special, along with socially responsible companies and organizations like Britax and the Preeclampsia Foundation. Raising awareness for preeclampsia is something that needs to be done. People shouldn’t have to study epidemiology in school or have a loved one suffer from this to find out what this is. If walking over the Brooklyn Bridge with a bunch of awesome dads is a good start for bringing attention to preeclampsia, then I want to know when’s the next time we get to do this. But until then, I think you should do a quick Google search like what I did, and read more about it.

**Disclosure Note: This is a paid, sponsored event with Britax / BOB. The opinions expressed in this post are our own and have not been influenced by our sponsor.  We limit our advertising to relevant partners that offer products and services we believe in and use ourselves. 

About the author

Jeff Chew is a member of the NYC Dads Group. He is a Senior Presentation Layer Engineer at Razorfish, and lives in Manhattan with his wife and eight-month-old son.

Editor’s Note: NYC Dads Group member Gregg Jobson-Larkin does an amazing job describing our invigorating “stroll” over the Brooklyn Bridge last week to celebrate the final four of the NCAA “March Madness” college basketball tournament.

“Growing up, spoiled a lot of things.”

Author Betty Smith’s esteemed introspective commentary in her novel A Tree Grows in Brooklyn rang true on this year’s warmest day so far, at least in the hearts and minds of 20 NYC Dads Group members and their children. They gathered to celebrate the NCAA basketball tournament and participate in the BOB “Motion Madness” Brooklyn Bridge event.

Sultry R&B singer Alicia Keyes waves from a black ghost-proscenium multi-screened multimedia mecca of Jumbotroned light wizardry to a packed house of 19,000 fans at Barclays Center in Brooklyn. She shouts, “Brooklyn, I Love YOU!” And of course, the crowd goes LOUD, uproariously. The band strikes the introduction for “This Girl Is On Fire,” one of her latest releases, and in that moment, all my mind can envision is the troupe of NYC Dads Group members.

About half of the NYC Dads Group community includes fathers who have the esteemed charge of daily raising the wee-one(s), while the significant other is away at other work. Dennis and I are of such honored pedigree, such is our lineage, our fatherly station in this form of metropolitan family lifestyle choice. We, the NYC Dads Group, are a growing trend of parentage with nearly 750 New York Metro area-based members.

Our group met on the Manhattan plaza of the “The Great Bridge” just like the opening ceremonies on May 24, 1883, and in homage to that grand pomp and circumstance opening day, the BOB Motion Stroller Madness Armada of Dads pushed on across the wooden bridge path atop the bustling East River.

These Brooklyn-bound NYC baby dads and their toddler elite were elevated and suspended on a grand Programme of Exercise, by chief engineer Washington A. Roebling’s engineering marvel, built by 1,000 workmen.

That day’s past, and this day’s present are reminisced by this 1883 vintaged description: “A holiday for high and low, rich and poor; it was in fact the People’s Day. More delightful weather never dawned upon a festal morning. The heavens were radiant with celestial blue of approaching summer; silvery fragments of clouds sailed gracefully across the firmaments like winged messengers, bearing greetings of work well done; the clearest of spring sunshine tinged everything with a touch of gold, and brisk, bracing breeze blown up from the Atlantic cooled the atmosphere to a healthful and invigorating temperature. The incoming dawn revealed the twin cities gorgeous in gala attire.” This excerpt is from the book titled, Opening Ceremonies of the New York Brooklyn Bridge by The Brooklyn Eagle Job Printing Department.

It was a day for paparazzi photographers, sightseers, onlookers, passersby and the just plain curious, paused; taking in the vision of fatherly-stroller loveliness. Dads Group members attempt to quell inquiring-mind queries with informative banter and quaint repartee, as the well-practiced PR-friendly troupe posed at the Manhattan tower, doling out snacks to their chauffeured mini-elite passengers, and then pressed on to the Brooklyn terminus of the marvelous bridge.

We, like grass-eating bovine lounged on the rolling hill of green grass partitioned only by concrete promenade river views and quaint park restoration structures. Our bundles of joy sprawling, running, scootering and eating from our fatherly bento, zip-locked, lunch-wrapped preparations. It doesn’t get any better than this. Priceless!

Alicia Keys sings a New York anthem, and unlike the chairman’s version Frank Sinatra proclaims, “If you can make it here…” well we made it, up, over and under the Brooklyn Bridge … only Alicia sings, “In New York.” And just like that, I’m back in the concert moment, head-nodding to Jay-Z, which all just happened to have occurred on the very same day!

The entire experience was another point of growth. The Alicia Keys concert? A close second to the Brooklyn Bridge excursion.

About the author

Gregg Jobson-Larkin is a proud father of three children. He lives in New York with his family.

**Disclosure: This is a paid, sponsored post with Britax / BOB. The opinions expressed in this post are our own and have not been influenced by our sponsor. We limit our advertising to relevant partners that offer products and services we believe in and use ourselves. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Each week, our NYC Dads Group gets together to take full advantage of New York City with our kids in tow. Recently, we have been to Roosevelt Island, Governors Island, Central Park, the Bronx Zoo, local children’s venues, and more. Three weeks ago, we made our first journey into Brooklyn. A dozen dads with their kids took an invigorating walk over the Brooklyn Bridge to catch some prime views, chow down on the famous Grimaldi’s Pizza, and hit a renowned playground along the river. More details about this Brooklyn Bridge meet up event were posted on our blog.

Seeing a group of dads with their kids in the middle of the day used to be a “rare” sighting. Consequently, the involved fathers that comprise our dynamic group have been making it a more common phenomenon these days in NYC. As our group assembled at the base of the Brooklyn Bridge, channel 11 (WPIX) caught up with a few of us to ask us about our experiences as at-home-dads. The segment below about our NYC Dads Group aired this morning. Overall, I was pleased that they kept the footage true to form. The overall piece enabled people to see some of the benefits like the fun and camaraderie about being in a group. Additionally, the interviews enabled us to articulate some of the real challenges of the job. Hopefully, some involved dads watched the segment, and said, “I don’t want to remain isolated anymore- this group looks like a good match for me.” If that is you, please feel free to join our group (NYC Dads Group) of at-home-dads who are making this modern man experience the cool thing to do. If you are an involved dad, but are not up for joining a group, then continue to check out this blog site (https://citydadsgroup.com/nyc/) that aims to be a destination for dads on thoughts, news, content, and playgroup information.

The group journeyed across the Brooklyn Bridge last week. This was our group’s first excursion into Brooklyn & we hope to return soon to take advantage of the numerous child-friendly destinations over there. This week’s “guest blog” post is by Ezra (pictured far left with the shades), devoted NYC Dads Group member from Riverdale, and proud dad to a four-month old daughter. Ezra, thanks for taking the time to share your perspective…