The best fatherly advice I received before we had our son was so simple and straightforward that it’s the only tip that stood out among the clichés most people offered me.

The advice?

“Just be there.” 

As simple as it sounds, the decision to consciously be present with your children goes deep. Just think back to your favorite memories of your parents. Do you remember the toy you opened on your seventh Christmas? Or the present you got for your 14th birthday? I highly doubt it.

But I’d bet you remember playing basketball with your dad. Or putting a puzzle together with your mom. What about playing video games with an uncle? Or cooking with your grandmother. Do you remember the connection you felt when you played a board game with your entire family? Even though my dad sucked at basketball and my mom always cheated at board games those are my favorite childhood memories and why I have a strong bond with my family.

This is why I didn’t mind quitting my job and becoming a stay-at-home dad. And if you’re an at-home dad I’m assuming you probably feel the same way. You want to be a part of your children’s life. You want to have that connection. It’s easy to be present like this when your kids are babies because you’re holding them or playing with them most of the day.

But as they grow older, they become more independent and it becomes too easy to start letting distractions come between you and your children. Distractions like email, chores, Netflix, Facebook, YouTube, exhaustion, smartphones, errands, Threads, Instagram, video games … did I say Netflix?

These are my main offenders at least. They plot against my relationship with my son and slowly try to drive a wedge between us. But I found that if I stand up to them and keep my relationship with my kids in mind, they’re weak enemies.

What’s my solution to be present more often? As often as we can, my wife and I take an hour and turn off all of the electronics in the home, especially smartphones. We use this time to play with blocks or toy soldiers, draw, paint, paste, build, role play, go for a walk, bike ride, go to the park, or do anything that involves us connecting. This one-on-one time is so important to your child’s development and it’s something you don’t want to leave out of your relationship with your kids.

Why is it important? Because one day they’ll be … teenagers! 

OK, everybody calm down, you can stop crying now.

I know you don’t want to think about it now, especially you guys out there with a little princess to protect. However, laying the groundwork by being present now is important. It helps build a solid foundation for your relationship with your children. You’ll want that when the tween and teen years arrive because you will want them to trust you enough so they can talk to you. That talk may be about drugs, alcohol or sex. It may be about bullying or sadness they are experiencing. It may just be about how their day went.

Now that you’re done reading this distraction, turn off your electronics and go find your kids. It’s time you did something together.

+ + +

This blog post is part of the #NoDadAlone campaign. Fathering Together/City Dads Group, the National At-Home Dad Network, and Fathers Eve are joining forces to amplify messages that help dads recognize we are not alone! Follow #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and learn more at NoDadAlone.com.

This post first appeared on the Chicago Dads Group blog in 2015. It has since been updated. Photo by Ketut Subiyanto via Pexels.

Fathers Eve, the annual event for dads to celebrate each other with each other, is back in 2022. However, its founder wants to add a new twist: community engagement and family participation.

Event founder John Francis said he wants those planning the pre-Father’s Day celebrations to add a local service project to their parties. These should be something that family members, friends and neighbors can participate in.

“It can be as simple a taking a garbage bag in hand and picking up trash,” Francis said in an interview. “While your out doing it, talk to people about doing good. It doesn’t have to be an expansive or complicated project to accomplish the goal.”

For example, members, families and friends of Minnesota’s Twin Cities Dads Group, which he is a part of, are helping rehabilitating a playground the afternoon of June 18. Later, they will head to a nearby brewery for the traditional toast for fatherhood on the night before Father’s Day.

“Most dads want to do the right thing when given the opportunity to,” he said. “We hope to encourage this and share this with our wives, children, friends and community. This way we expand into something bigger and better.”

One group the organization hopes to attract is father figures, even if they are not dads themselves. After reading stories about the problems of children who grew up fatherless, Francis began thinking about getting other men involved with Fathers Eve through community projects. He hopes their actions could help create a “showcase” of inspiring male role models for others, especially children.

Charity component dropped

Fathers Eve started in 2012. Francis invited several dad friends to his house for beers, billiards and swapping stories about fatherhood. The hope: support for each other in effort to become better parents. Over the years, scores of celebrations have been held annually in backyards and businesses across the United States and a few internationally locations.

“Gathering the night before Father’s Day gives dads a chance to spend time with each other to focus on sharing ideas, supporting what it means to be better dads, making stronger connections, all while doing something good for the community,” the father of two told City Dads back in 2017.

Fathers Eve previous encouraged event organizers to include a charity component that assists a parenting or children’s cause. However, fundraising for others proved to be difficult.

“We don’t want to be just another charity organization. We want to be role models for family and community,” Francis said in explaining the shift.

Where to celebrate Fathers Eve 2022

Several City Dads chapters will be among those hosting Fathers Eve 2022 events (click city to find event listing and RSVP) :

• Charlotte, N.C.
• Chicago
• Cincinnati
• Denver
• Kansas City, Mo.
• Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minn. – Twin Cities
• New York City – Harlem and Port Washington
• Orlando

(DISCLOSURE: City Dads Group is a national sponsor for Fathers Eve 2022.)

A complete listing of Fathers Eve 2022 events can be found on its website.

If you can’t attend an event, don’t despair. An online live streaming of celebrations will take place on Zoom and Facebook Live.

A live stream replaced in-person events in 2020 because of the COVID-19 pandemic, and supplemented last year’s celebrations. In 2022, it will be simplified to mostly a brief welcome and countdown, Francis said.

The countdowns to the annual celebratory toast will start shortly before the start of 8 p.m. in each U.S. time zone, starting with Eastern time, on June 18. You can sign up for the live stream to share at your event or watch individually.

Dads and their little dudes and darlings will once again have a chance to enter the holiday season with stylish hair, thanks to our longtime partner Dove Men+Care and Bishops Cuts/Color.

On Saturday, Dec. 14, all fathers and their offspring can receive a “Holiday Shear” — free haircuts, washes and styling with Dove Men+Care grooming products at 18 Bishops locations across the United States. And, as with last year’s similar promotion between the two businesses, our dads have been asked to be special guests in participating cities where we have City Dads Group chapters.

Holiday Shear is a nationwide initiative designed to give families the gift of quality time during the holiday season.  The events start at 10 a.m. local time and run until closing or the DM+C products run out.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5tnpH7ngOF/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
City Dads Group chapters in 11 metropolitan areas have arranged Meetup events at their participating Bishops — click the link then check out the group’s schedule on Dec. 14 location and time details:

• Charlotte, N.C. (note: two locations)
• Cincinnati
• Columbus, Ohio
• Denver
• Houston
• Minneapolis (Twin Cities Dads Group)
• New York City
• Phoenix
• Portland, Ore.
• Seattle (Puget Sound Dads Group)
• Sacramento, Calif.

Bishops Cuts/Color is a national chain, founded in Portland, Ore, with more than 100 locations. The predominately minority owned operation offers affordable haircuts and gives back to each of its communities, according to its website.

If you’re unable to attend one of these events, you can check out photos on our Twitter and Instagram social media feeds or by searching #HolidayShear.

DISCLOSURE: City Dads Group chapters have been compensated by Dove Men+Care to participate and promote Holiday Shear. Gratuities are not included, and any other services obtained that day will be charged at regular prices.  No substitutions allowed, and walk-ins (no appointments) only. You must be present to reserve a spot in line.  No rain checks for any services unable to be completed by the end of the event.

Photo: ©Svitlana / Adobe Stock.

Dads and their children have a chance to take a little off the top for free this weekend.

Our longtime partner Dove Men+Care is partnering with 22 Bishops Cuts/Color barber shops across the country on Saturday, Dec. 8, to offer complimentary haircuts, washes and styling using Dove Men+Care products to guys and their offspring as part of a promotion. Our City Dads Group members and their children have been asked be special guests at the “Holiday Shear” events being held in 13 cities.

“To help families spend more time together while preparing for the holiday season, Dove Men+Care is giving the gift of free washes and haircuts to men and the children in their lives by spreading #HolidayShear,” the men’s grooming products company wrote in a news release.

City Dads Group chapters have been asked by DM+C to be special guests at these events. Meetups have been arranged by our organizers in the following cities (click the link then check out the group’s scheduled meetups for location and time details):

• Atlanta
• Charlotte
• Chicago
• Cincinnati
• Columbus, Ohio
• Denver
• Houston
• Los Angeles
• Phoenix
• Portland, Ore.
• Sacramento
• San Diego
• San Francisco 

In addition to the free haircuts, Dove Men+Care will have activity cards to encourage some father-child bonding through drawing, playing and conversation. Photo opportunities will also be held so the dads and kids can show off their new holiday haircuts.

Bishops Cuts/Color is a national chain, founded in Portland, Ore, that is predominately minority owned, that offers affordable haircuts and gives back to each of its communities, according to its website.

For a list of all the participating Bishops Cuts/Colors locations, visit bishops.co.

If you’re unable to attend one of these events, you can check out photos on our Twitter and Instagram social media feeds or by searching #HolidayShear.

Over the years, City Dads Group and its many chapters have partnered with Dove Men+Care for many events and promotions such as March Madness parties and tickets.

DISCLOSURE: City Dads Group chapters have been compensated by Dove Men+Care to participate and promote this free event. The event will begin at 9 a.m., local time, for City Dads Group members and run until 9 p.m., or until Dove Men+Care supplies are depleted, whichever occurs first.  Gratuities are not included, and any other services obtained that day will be charged at regular prices.  No substitutions allowed, and walk-ins (no appointments) only.  You must be present to reserve a spot in line.  No rain checks for any services unable to be completed by the end of the event.

Photo: Andi Whiskey on Unsplash

Pediatric cancer is in the sights of City Dads Group this June as we team with the Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation (ALSF) to raise money to help find a cure.

City Dads Group chapters in a dozen cities from coast-to-coast will set up stands between June 2 and 10 to sell lemonade and take donations to go to the national nonprofit’s work funding research to find better treatments and cures for childhood cancer.

Details, including times and locations for each group’s event this year, will be made available on the City Dads Group’s ALSF fundraising page or on the group’s Meetup page (see list below).

City Dads Group previously raised funds with Alex’s Lemonade Stand in 2016, but this year’s model should be even sweeter thanks to our ongoing partnership with Plum Organics. The nation’s leading organic baby food brand is helping our chapters out with supplies for their stands, and will provide snacks and samples for patrons.

• Boston – June 8
• Charlotte – June 4
• Chicago – June 9
• Dallas – June 9
• Fresno, Calif. – June 7
• Kansas City – June 2
• Los Angeles- June 10
• Madison, Wisc. – June 8
• New York City – June 5
• Portland, Ore. – June 9
• San Francisco – June 2
• Twin Cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul), Minn – June 2

A little food, a little play and a whole lot of bonding between fathers and children — and probably among fathers themselves. That’s what City Dads Group will be bringing to major parenting events in five cities this year.

Local City Dads chapters will host lunchtime playdates for dads and kids at MommyCons being held in Charlotte, N.C.; Chicago; New York City; Orlando; and Pasadena, Calif.

MommyCon is a nationwide educational/product exhibition series dedicated to natural parenting.

“We appreciate this opportunity to partner with MommyCon to create an opportunity for new and expecting dads to connect with City Dads Group across the United States,” said City Dads Group co-founder Matt Schneider. “Parents are in this together, so it great to see the MommyCon team welcome dads into the mix.”

In Chicago and Orlando, City Dads Group will actually be involved with DaddyCon, a separate track of educational panels, activities and workshops focused on fathering that runs concurrent with some MommyCon shows.

Chicago site of 1st MommyCon partnership

The partnership kicks off next month in Chicago. City Dads Group serves as media partner for the March 3-4, 2018, DaddyCon at Donald E. Stephens Convention Center in suburb of Rosemont, Ill. The Chicago Dads Group will host a one-hour lunchtime/playdate event for its members at the convention, providing an opportunity to add to its membership while bringing some of our dads out the convention to learn and shop.

“With over a dozen speakers, the event convention will take a playful approach to discussing all aspects of fatherhood: from being there at birth through every diaper change, scraped knee and ballet recital. The conversation will explore first-hand accounts from todays most prominent father figures while exploring the bond fathers have with their children,” its website states.

The other MommyCon/City Dads Group events will take place:

• April 7, New York City
• May 5, Charlotte
• Aug. 18, Pasadena
• Sept. 1, Orlando

This time of year people are focused on making and keeping their New Year’s resolutions.  Some like quitting bad habits or making good habits are pretty straightforward. If you want to quit smoking, exercise more, read more, or eat healthily; there are very clear ways to start and places to get help. For others, like finding a community or group that will help you in your goal to be a better father, getting started on the right foot can be tricky.

That’s what the City Dads Group is all about. At its core, the group wants to form diverse communities for fathers who are looking to socialize and interact with other guys who enjoy spending quality time with their children.

We are all in here at the Chicago Dads Group. We love the chance to meet other dads who love being dads.  This year our group made it past the 1000 member mark, and we’d love to have even more!  We have seen first-hand the positive effects of creating a network of friendships and resources to help our members become the dads they want to be.  Whether it is activities like a play date in Maggie Daley Park or a Dad’s Night Out playing whirly ball, we are strengthened by every new father that joins our tribe.

We do a lot together here are some of our member’s favorite memories and activities:

I play competitive, energetic basketball every week with Dads from our group!

– Sean W.

It’s a brotherhood of guys who have great advice on childcare and are just fun to be around. I love Dad’s Night Out. I like getting away from the kids for a little adult time.

– Al W.

It’s nice to feel like there are others out there who share what I’m going through. We have a great group of guys…as fathers but also just as people who are fun to be around. My kids still talk about going fishing with the group, even though they were bored and didn’t catch anything. The experience was everything!

– Kyle E.

Join a Dads Group

Great dads don’t happen overnight it takes time, effort, and commitment.  That doesn’t mean you have to start from scratch though.  We’d love to add your perspective and experience to our own.

If you’ve been looking for a way to connect with other active and engaged fathers here in the Chicagoland area check out some of our upcoming events… We’d love to have you!

Now that we are firmly into 2018 we can’t help but want to take a quick look back on one of our favorite meetups of the past year.  Along with  11 other City Dads Group chapters, we participated in Giving Tuesday by helping local charities that help feed hungry children in our communities with the help of our partner, Plum Organics.

Here is a little video the City Dads Group made to showcase how it went:

Plum Organics, the nation’s leading organic baby food brand, donated more than 41,000 pouches of their tasty meals to help children in need.  For our part, the Chicago Dads Group teamed up with the Palatine Township Food Pantry to collect food and deliver the generous donation from Plum Organics.

Giving back is one of our favorite ways to get together here in the Chicagoland area.  There is a lot of need here and we are lucky to make such great connections with brands, like Plum Organics, who help encourage and support our initiatives.

Giving Tuesday, the Tuesday following Thanksgiving, is a global day of outreach dedicated to helping others. It’s meant to kick-off the holiday season by inspiring people to collaborate in improving their local communities. Since its 2012 inception, tens of thousands of organizations worldwide annually participate in the day. This was the fourth year in-a-row that we have joined with other City Dads groups around the country and participated in this day of giving back through service, and we’re looking forward to doing even more!

DISCLOSURE: Plum Organics partnered with City Dads Group for the mentioned above through a donation of goods and financial compensation.

City Dads Group and Plum Organics® will again work together to help nourish children and assist families in need on Giving Tuesday, an international day of helping others that follows Thanksgiving.

On Nov. 28, City Dads in 12 U.S. metropolitan areas will help pack and distribute food donated by Plum Organics, the nation’s leading organic baby food brand. Plum Organics last year for Giving Tuesday donated more than 24,000 meals to charitable organizations chosen by our chapters in Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Los Angeles, New York City, San Francisco and the Minneapolis/St. Paul.

** Watch video of our 2016 Giving Tuesday work **

“We are proud to expand our Giving Tuesday partnership with Plum Organics to support nonprofits that support families in need across the United States,” said Matt Schneider, co-founder of City Dads Group. “Our dads are very proud to be able to provide time and much needed food to our communities.”

Where we are helping on Giving Tuesday

Our members will help pack, stock and distribute the Plum Organics donation and perform other volunteer work to the following organizations:

• Boston/Providence Dads Group have chosen to assist the Rhode Island Community Food Bank, which will distribute the food through its 160 agency partners that reach 57,000 individuals monthly.
• The Charlotte Dads Group plans to work with Second Harvest Food Bank of Metrolina, which distributed more than 50 million pounds of food and household items throughout its 19 county service region during its most recent fiscal year.
• Chicago Dads Group will assist clients of Palatine Township Food Pantry, an organization that serves an average of 345 families each month.
• Dallas Dads Group has chosen to work with Hope Supply Co. which assists 1,100 homeless children in North Texas every day.
• The Fresno Dads Group will work with Community Food Bank, which serves more than 280,000 people each month through a variety of programs.
• Kansas City Dads Group has chosen to help Harvesters Community Food Network, a regional food bank serving northwestern Missouri and northeastern Kansas that assists more than 620 not-for-profit agencies.
• The Los Angeles and NYC Dads Groups will again help GOOD+ Foundation, a nonprofit group that works with a network of more than 100 community-based organizations across the country to distribute essentials to families in need.
• Madison Dads Group in Wisconsin will assist the Goodman Community Center, which helps income-limited families through a food pantry, before- and after-school programs and other services.
• Our Portland Dads Group will work with the Oregon Food Bank, a central hub for supplying food pantries across the entire Pacific Northwest state.
• San Francisco Dads Group has selected the SF-Marin Food Bank to be its partner. The nonprofit provides more than 100,000 meals a day through 250 area food pantries.
• Twin Cities Dads Group in Minnesota will volunteer with Second Harvest Heartland, one of the nation’s largest food banks.

“At Plum, our mission is to nourish little ones with the very best food from the very first bite. Back in 2013, we founded The Full Effect® program to extend our mission to little ones in need. In America, 1 in 5 children is food insecure. That’s approximately 13 million kids,” Mandy Geisler, senior marketing manager at Plum Organics, said in a written statement. “The global giving movement Giving Tuesday is a great platform to raise awareness about this issue. By partnering with City Dads Group again this year, we’re able to bring organic baby food donations to organizations in twelve of their locations nationwide.”

City Dads Group members and others who are not able to participate in any of these events in person can follow our work on Twitter and Instagram. By using hashtags #PlumParents and #GivingTuesday, you can see pictures of our dads across the country supporting families in need.

Giving Tuesday is a global day of outreach dedicated to helping others. It’s meant to kick-off the holiday season and inspire people to collaborate in improving their local communities. Since its 2012 inception, tens of thousands of organizations worldwide annually participate in the day.

This will be the fourth consecutive year City Dads outposts around the country have participated in Giving Tuesday activities, and the second that Plum Organics has served as our national sponsor.

DISCLOSURE: Plum Organics is partnering with City Dads Group for the Giving Tuesday work mentioned above through a donation of goods and financial compensation.

Disclosure: We proudly partnered with WaterWipes for this event and post.

One of the best things about being a part of the Chicago Dads Group is getting together with other fathers and their kids to watch them play and make new friends.  Whether you call them playdates, outings or adventures, we love them.

Our good friends WaterWipes, makers of the world’s purest baby wipes, treated our dads and their families to a fun breakfast and morning of play at one of our favorite local spots, The Little Beans Cafe. With cafe amenities for the parents and older siblings, imaginative play spaces for the tiny tots, and some sports and gymnastic-style play for the not-so-tiny tots, Little Beans is perfect for the whole family.

We had some epic make-believe going on in the “Tiny Tots Town” with all the dress-ups and play buildings. It is always a blast when kids get their dads in on the play. We also had some creative tabletop tennis, and an impromptu ultimate ninja competition go down with some of our bigger kids (sometimes even our dads fit that category). Everyone was having a blast.

Lucky for us, we never had to stop play for too long for a diaper change. With WaterWipes on hand, our dads could flag their toddler down and get them changed and back into action with the efficiency of a race car pit crew. WaterWipes gave us the confidence of knowing not only are we there to help our kids when they need us, but that we are taking care of their skin as we do. WaterWipes are made with 99.9% water and a drop of fruit extract so they are soft to the touch and gentle on sensitive baby skin. Additionally, WaterWipes have been awarded the National Eczema Association Seal of Acceptance — so you know the whole family can use them with skincare confidence.

“We love WaterWipes! They are soft on her skin and that makes my job so much easier,” said James Currie, a Chicago Dads Group father of a 2-year-old. “They give me peace of mind knowing I’m keeping her new skin clean with gentle and pure elements.”

Another one of our fathers, Rich Espinal, said, “It is great to be in community with fellow fathers and their families. It serves as a reminder that we have the same desires for more sleep, fumbling through the best way to manage tantrums, etc. Little Beans Cafe was an ideal venue with toys, activities, and places for parents to relax. It was also great to have WaterWipes on hand to wipe down faces buttered with breakfast and make diaper changes a breeze.”

WaterWipes are available throughout the U.S. online and at many major retailers. For more information, visit www.WaterWipes.com/us.