“Ohhhh, turn it up! It’s Graduation Week!”

That was my message to my 4-year-old who was about to finish pre-kindergarten and to my 10-year-old who was graduating 5th grade. Yup, two in the same week!

Graduation Day will make any dad proud and, since my dad never made it to any of my graduations, it means even more to me. My dad never made it because he had to work. How many other parents are in that same situation? I understand some people can’t make it, but if you can make up for a lost day of wages and still choose your work or other things over an hour or two of showing love — that’s no bueno.

Kids can only graduate from a grade once, so missing it when you could be there is lame. It’s a proud moment that doesn’t happen every week, and you should never miss an event at which your child is the star. Pictures of this special day are cool, but being there is priceless.

Have fun with graduation

Graduation is supposed to be for the kids, but you know dads like me still have to have our own fun with it. We wake up every day and make sure our kids get to school, so we deserve this day as much as they do.

I found a deal for $5 “big heads” on Groupon and jumped on the opportunity. It was a simple and cheap process that brought us tons of fun and memories.

The look on my kids’ faces when they saw themselves as huge cardboard heads was insane. All their friends and parents smiled while asking where we got them from.

I’m a sucker for making my kids feel like stars and making sure I had fun with it helped big time.

Take lots of photos

We have all encountered rude parents who block your view and photo ops at graduation. Often they are so excited they don’t even know they are doing it. It is what it is.

If you have to get in someone’s way to take pics of your kids, do so but don’t be rude. Don’t just barrel people over. Think about what you are doing.

Whenever my kids got called for an award or even their diploma, I weaved my way to the front to take a picture. If you’re a little shy like me, you do need to get over it. If you don’t, you will end up with some wack photos.

I abide by the rule of asking for forgiveness later, not asking for permission to capture the moment. however, always make sure you don’t mess it up for someone else. Get out of the way once you have your shot.

In conclusion, graduations are special for everyone involved. Childhood goes by way too fast and you never get a replay of moments like these. Do all you can to be there, take dope pictures and have fun. You will thank yourself when you see how proud your kids are and the smiles on their faces when you hug them. That feeling is the best.

A version of this first appeared on Cool4Dads. It first ran here in 2019 and has since been updated. Photos: James Lopez family.

As I started getting dressed for a Black Lives Matter protest march, my son asked if he could go with me. To be honest, I like keeping it as real as possible with my kids but for this one, I was torn.

Should I take him or leave his behind at home?

He’s a mature 13-year-old. He’s also the son of a dark skin Puerto Rican and black man. However, he is also my baby and all I could think about was his safety.

We all have seen the riots, the beatings, all the negative things in the media and that the government have been pushing.

But how about all the positive things protesting brings?

The positive things outweigh all the negative thoughts I had about marching with my son.

He wanted in, I wanted to educate him and that’s exactly what happened.

We focused on the positive side of Black Lives Matter march, the people that pushed the equality message “One Together, All Together!”

These marchers chanted for peace but also had the fortitude to stop actions against others who didn’t want us protesting. We saw that a few times but not as much as TV reports would have us think. We only had three instances where someone, got tough with us for no reason. They handled them with peace and love.

Marching for equality with my son and, eventually, my whole family will go down as one of the best choices I have ever made in life.

We were marching with over 1,000 Staten Islanders and our voices would be HEARD!

Equality was the premise of this Black Lives Matters march but — wow — did other lessons pour in. I didn’t even have to prompt my little man to discuss it. The energy of the crowd, the chants, the solidarity, all of that was taught through the crowds’ actions.

Should attend a protest march with your kids?

Calling for equality alongside people of all colors, ethnicities, social classes and more was enough to prove that I made the right decision.

If you want to take your kids to a protest or march, do it! The fears you have are real but, in my opinion, the chances of them occurring are slim to none. Don’t ever let fear stop you from doing what’s right in your heart.

You can never guarantee that everything goes right but that’s a risk we take every day leaving our homes. Instead, focus on making yourself comfortable:

• Find a protest march that’s happening during the daylight hours as I did.
• Don’t bring little children (under age 11 or so) or ones who tire easily. We only covered four miles in three hours and we were both exhausted.
• Come dressed to create change, not for a photo opp. Mask up!
• Most of all, come with an open mind. We did and we will never forget.

I was worried about bringing him with me due to his safety, that’s a big worry. However, not taking him would have been one of the biggest mistakes I ever did.

We came together, we marched together, we learned together.

Note: You can listen to more of James’ experience marching with his son on his podcast. Scroll to the end of that post to find it.

A version of this article previously appeared on Cool4Dads. Father / daughter at protest march photo: ©Halfpoint / Adobe Stock.

I took my son to a day of intensive basketball training a while back. Before workouts they play a game called “break the chain” to warm up, encourage teamwork and wake the kids up.

I watched as a simple game became difficult because the kids were not working together. The coach eventually stopped everyone and explained to them that they could not win without acting as a team. It took them a while, but they finally got it.

As I watched them, I realized that teamwork is a hard concept to grasp at any age. We are taught to take care of and worry about ourselves first. But this same thinking can ruin your progression or even your relationships.

Learning to work as a team takes some time but once it’s mastered, things work much better. Here are some of the things I try to emphasize with my kids and, sometimes, even with other adults.

Empathy for teammates, others

To be a great team member, you have to be able to think and care about what others feel.

Kids sometimes don’t understand empathy because many of us adults don’t understand it, either. We assume our kids will just figure out that part of the game by themselves, but that’s not the case.

It starts with us parents first. Letting our kids know that people are different and that that OK is something we can do on the daily. Reminding your kids to be great people starts with them being great toward others. So show them how it’s done.

Communication is key to teamwork

Everybody thinks are the best communicators in the world. Sorry to burst your bubble most of us really, REALLY suck at it!

Kids, like some adults, think they know it all and assume the most. This can be detrimental to any team. My dad always used to tell me, “Don’t make yourself an ass by assuming you know what others are thinking. “

I’ll never forget that. I always tell my kids that the more details they give me the better the results will be. The only way for anyone to know what you are really thinking is to actually tell them, so why hold back? Assumptions don’t help anyone, real talk does.

A great way to work on communication is to ask your kids questions about every thing and anything that pops up. Even if you understand what they are trying to say, ask for more. Don’t work on understanding them, work on them giving you all the information you need.

You won’t shine alone forever

Kids are quick to blame each other and quick to worry about their own personal accomplishments before they worry about others. Especially when they want to show off for mom or dad.

This is bad in sports and in life. We all hate people who hog the spotlight or take too much credit. Just think of your boss at work LOL, I hate him/her too!

I always tell my son that he can score 100 points in a game but if his team loses no one will care. He doesn’t always remember but that’s cool: he’s a kid.

Take the time to remind your child that his/her team is stronger when everyone is working for each other, not for individual accolades. Remind them that winning as a team is way more important than an individual winning on a team that loses.

Everyone smiles when they win, no one wants the credit for losing especially if it’s their fault!

Chill. Your child isn’t a pro yet

As parents, we think our kids can do no wrong. They are the best at everything we see them doing. Or so we think!

I get it, you created the perfect child but that child can mess up just like everyone else. It only takes one bad link to break the power of a chain.

If your child always thinks he or she is the best and doesn’t need anyone else, they will always be a liability for any team.

It’s our job as parents to keep it 100 with not just yourself but also your children. Even if you think they are great they will always need the rest of the team in order to win or to even improve. They can’t do it alone no matter how good you or they feel they are.

Teamwork is about knowing everyone’s strength and then applying those strengths where others might be weak. A great team player knows this and finds ways to make everyone better. Kids need to that reminder. Just like adults, kid notice when one person acts like they are the best, and sooner or later they will stop interacting with them. This can and probably will kill a team’s moral. Don’t let your child be that kid.

A little teamwork goes a long way

You don’t have to take a full day to just teach your kids about teamwork. Besides incorporating it in everyday life, I like finding activities around building things together like Lego or Home Depot’s Kids Workshops! Here the kids are forced to have to work together or with their parents which makes the lessons easier to apply.

Remember kids learn by examples, so it starts with you. Represent!

A version of this first appeared on Cool4Dads. Photo: ©WavebreakMediaMicro / Adobe Stock.

Disclosure: NYC Dads Group has been compensated by Peapod by Stop & Shop for this post. All opinions are genuine. Read all the way to the bottom for a special sweepstakes offer from Peapod and the New York Yankees.

Have you ever missed a great moment at a sporting event because you were in line waiting for food? This happened to me last month during a charity softball game at Yankee Stadium.

My kids were captivated by the game and asked me to get them some dinner from the concession stand. They were having such a great time that I couldn’t say no. I ended up waiting nearly an hour for food at the one open stand and missed a few innings of the game. I should’ve fed them at home before we left.

I vowed to be smarter in the future. Going forward, we would “pregame” our dinner at home.

Saving time and energy

We were fortunate to partner with Peapod by Stop & Shop because they have proved to be my pregame solution. I wanted a service that would allow us to enjoy our precious time as much as possible and since they delivered, we were excited to try it out.

The online buying process was swift and easy. Our kids chose some fun items along with the necessities we needed the most to fill our virtual cart. An impressive feature of Peapod is that we could suggest an item or even a completed dish and its Express Shop option would suggest everything needed to complete the order.

Basics like ketchup, napkins and plastic cups for barbecues are the grocery items we tend to forget, but not anymore. The buying process was extremely simple as was the delivery. They offer an option of getting real-time updates directly to your mobile phone via text and because it involved technology, I had to use that feature.

We selected a next-day delivery time that worked for our family. We received a few text messages with the progress of the delivery, keeping us updated until all of our groceries were fully delivered.

Pregaming saves money

We call my kids “beasts” because they have voracious appetites. When we go to the ballpark that constant eating creates a huge hole in my wallet. The worst part is that my children don’t believe in sharing. They all need their own trays of food or all hell breaks loose.

Anybody that goes to a major league sporting event knows that some of the food is awesome … and all of it is expensive. When you have a family of five, you can easily spend more than hundred dollars in food at the game.

That’s the real advantage of pregaming. Since we order our own food, our kids can pick different things without us having to break the bank. Instead of paying $12 for one hot dog, we can buy a pack of eight for $4 and feed the whole family. That same $100 you spend at the game can feed your family and a bunch of friends before the game.

By pregaming and using a service like Peapod by Stop & Shop you can you can instead use that money on that cool limited edition Yankee jersey you always wanted.

Being fully present

Pregaming allows you to fully enjoy the game without risking the chance of missing out on something like I did.

That day I wasted an hour standing on a line for food (that didn’t taste as good as our own, by the way) could have been used way more efficiently. We were there for a charity game so I wish we could have spoken with my kids more about paying it forward. Instead my son had to fill me on the game.

Even though he was excited about it, I really let my chance to drill down on doing good for others. I also missed out on supporting a few of my favorite celebrities as they swung the bat for a good cause.

I missed the chance to be fully present at the game and it still bothers me today. This won’t ever happen again, from here on out I will be pregaming with the family for almost any sporting event we decide to go to.

Peapod by Stop & Shop made pregaming easy with its great features, ease of use and saved us a ton of time allowing us to enjoy the full experience of a game with no distractions.

Now if only I could get my kids to pay the bill! Need that feature ASAP!

Peapod by Stop & Shop and the New York Yankees are a winning combination. Additionally, we have two ways for you to win too!

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Just when you thought dinosaurs were extinct, they come back to life to cause havoc in an arena-style setting with Jurassic World Live Tour.

And just when you think you have seen it all when it comes to the Jurassic Park/World series, this live event produced by Feld Entertainment will surely keep you on your toes with surprises.

We recently learned about how a few of these are done at the recent Jurassic World Live Tour Media Day in New York City.

Dinosaurs on tour

Not only does the show bring dinosaurs to life in a live-action setting, but the story also changes while you are sitting there in the middle of the action.

This time around, the audience meets a new dinosaur named Jeanie, a troodon said to be one of the smartest dinosaurs that ever lived. Attendees join scientists and a trained raptor named Blue as they navigate through the dense jungle of Isla Nublar to save Jeanie. Jurassic World Live Tour also introduces fans to a new device called the “decoder” that lets us interpret how dinosaurs feel.

It doesn’t sound too intense … until you notice that some of these dinosaurs are huge! Some stretch out as much as 40 feet and look and sound super realistic thanks to state-of-the-art animatronics. They are so realistic that my son quickly backed up when Jeanie walked up to him during our visit.

Behind the scenes of Jurassic World Live Tour

We spent a few hours behind the scenes learning what goes into Jurassic World Live Tour. We learned how they made these enormous dinosaurs and how parkour-trained professionals control some of them. These dinosaurs, being so huge, are heavy and require handlers to be in excellent shape to move them around. Hand controls help control the head and sounds of the dinosaurs.

We learned about everything it takes to build a huge production like this from various staff members. They were all full of knowledge and made it easy for us to understand all of it.

Kids also got to take photos with the series’ famous gyrosphere and Jeep while dads like me smiled all night. My son loved playing with the hand puppets since the bigger dinosaurs were too heavy for him. He also got to meet Blue and Jeanie for a special photo opp.

A sure hit with dinosaur lovers

Being behind the scenes at Jurassic World Live Tour taught us about the production and what it took to get it there. We were only able to experience two of the 24 dinosaurs used in the show during the short segment we saw but we immediately left wanting more. It really solidified the case for us purchasing tickets when it comes to out city.

My son kept asking everyone he could for tickets. He didn’t care that the show wasn’t coming to New York City for another 10 months — he wanted it NOW. Luckily for me, a dinosaur soundboard eventually distracted him.

On the way home, my son made me promise that we would go to the show. We all know you can’t promise kids everything, but this time I don’t mind if he reminds me.

Jurassic World Live Tour schedule, ticket sales

The tour starts in Columbus, Ohio, in September 2019, and travels around the United States throughout 2020. Check the touring schedule and buy tickets at this link.

A version of this first appeared on Cool4Dads.

Growing up, my dad would take me to get a haircut every two weeks and I used to love it. It was our time to bond and I loved hearing him say how good I looked with my cut.

As I got older, having a fresh cut became a priority, especially in college. It made me feel clean and gave me all the confidence I needed at times!

Now as a dad, I get to experience the same thing with my kids so taking them to get their first haircut is a big deal. We don’t want them coming home with those bowl-shaped cuts. (Fellas, yah know what I’m talking about. Be there, don’t let wifey or grandma take them to get their first haircut without you!)

Getting that first haircut is a rite of passage where I’m from, and here’s what I learned from being there.

A little bribery never hurts

You ever went to a barber shop and see kids screaming, throwing things or simply crying while their parents beg them to be good?

That’s what I envisioned before taking each of my sons to get their first haircut. I expected the worst every single time but also knew that a bribe could go a long way. I bribed both my kids with the allure of having candy after. It worked perfectly for two of them, my youngest though … he wasn’t having it.

Candy wasn’t enough. I actually had to sit down with him while he got his haircut. I never wanted to, but I’ll do anything to keep him from screaming like a madman and embarrassing me. Find what works for your kid and do it!

Never as bad as you thought

Little man is tough and to be honest I expected the absolute worst. We even scheduled him for the last appointment just in case we had to run out of there embarrassed. Got to be prepared at all times!

Remember it’s normal for a child to fear a stranger with clippers and scissors. Don’t give up too early.

All I kept thinking to myself was, if this kid goes crazy we are out of here. Luckily for me, little man sat on my lap and watched YouTube like an angel. He didn’t kick, scream or fight the barber. It was baffling how well he behaved and I’m thankful for it.

Enjoy: There’s only one first haircut

The first of anything you ever do with your kids is special, even when things don’t go as expected. I was expecting my youngest to go bonkers and destroy our first haircut together. However, having him sit on my lap seemed to calm him down.

Eventually, I forgot he was getting a haircut because I started to really watch him maneuver around YouTube. Little man is 2 and was working these shortcuts in the app that I didn’t even know existed.

That was all part of the first haircut experience and I am so glad I was able to be part of it. Somethings you only get to do once so enjoy the memories, good or bad.

Not my first time, but …

Being there to see all three of my sons getting haircuts was a huge blessing. All of them handled the situation differently but provided me with some dope memories I will always cherish.

Even though I have done this before, having to change my approach for all three made it seem like it was the first time each time. I had to bribe each one differently and even though I thought each one would embarrass me, they all behaved well.

There are no do-overs when you are doing something for the first time. You learn from them and keep pushing forward. Salutes to all the barbers out there making this process easier for the dads out there.

A version of this first appeared on Cool4Dads. Photo by Tommy van Kessel on Unsplash.

As a huge fan of reading, school book fairs get me hyped. I always looked forward to all the new books, talks and especially the giveaways. So when I was asked to volunteer for my sons’ book fair, there was no way I was saying no to it.

While there, I learned a few things along the way (such as making sure you set a time limit for working there!). I hope those lessons can help you as a volunteer and/or parent.

Kids love book fairs

Getting my kids to read is sometimes like pulling teeth. They are great at it but getting them to actually sit down and read in this era of digital devices isn’t easy. So I honestly thought that most kids wouldn’t even care about having book fairs at their school. Boy, was I wrong!

I watched my kids and others who say they hate reading walk in with huge smiles on their faces. They talk about the newest character in a series I didn’t even know existed. They give each other summaries of previous books they have read and I even witnessed kids recommending books to each other.

It felt like I was in a different world and it felt good. It felt good knowing that even though my kids never showed me how much they loved to read, they and their friends actually loved books! Seeing that excitement made my 2 hours fly by quicker than I ever expected!

Don’t be cheap … or forget the tax

As I walked around talking to the kid shoppers, I started to notice that some were really sad.

I immediately knew why. Kids were sad because their parents didn’t give them money or gave them way too little.

We parents know that most book fairs do not really offer a discount. Most fairs are held to help raise money for their school, so most books sell for their retail value. That sucks considering the deals online at stores like Amazon or all the free reading material around the web. So if you give your kids less than $5 for a book fair, you are guaranteeing they will not be able to buy a thing.

I get it, though. You don’t want to splurge on a book you can get cheaper elsewhere. However, this is an event geared toward your child, your child is the featured guest, and you don’t want them to feel like they aren’t part of it. I went to this book fair with $16 and left with zero all because some parents sent their kids with $2. Don’t be that person!

Pro Tip: Tax is real! Teach your kids that for every dollar they spend they should have a dime to go with it. So $2 equals 2 dimes, that’s enough for tax so your kids won’t look crazy at the front of the line. It also keeps others like me from going broke due to helping them.

They will buy garbage, get over it

Many parents swear by sending a list of books that their kids can buy at book fairs. That’s a great idea, but not one that I use often. I believe in letting my kids decide what they want to buy and owning that decision. I know that the chances of them actually buying a great book are low. They are with their friends and they will buy things that they feel are cool or that their friends are buying.

At this fair, I noticed a whole group of kids buying invisible ink. Every time I asked them why they all had the same general answer, they wanted to have fun with their friends writing hidden messages.

But wait isn’t this a book fair? Shouldn’t they be buying books so they can become the next best-selling authors themselves? And now you’re telling me it’s OK for them to buy junk?

I feel your pain, but yes — that’s exactly what I’m telling you.

A book fair is set up to showcase the great world of books. That junk they are buying is part of this great world and why they love it! Let them enjoy it!

Plus $5 or $10 won’t make or break you most of the time. Besides, I spent the whole entire afternoon playing with their invisible ink and created some dope memories with my kids because of it. You can’t beat that.

But don’t go broke at book fairs

This by far was the hardest lesson I had to learn. I’m a sucker! I can’t be around kids that are sad or don’t feel like they are a part of something big like a book fair. All I kept thinking was that some parents really sucked.

That’s wrong. You never want to judge a book by its cover so you never really know why a parent doesn’t give his/her child money for a book fair.

It doesn’t matter anyway. What matters are your pockets! It’s very easy to volunteer for a book fair and end up spending all of your own money helping out the kids that didn’t have enough.

I can’t help it so the only tip I have for this: come to work at school book fairs with as little money on you as possible. You can still be Santa with $5, kids forget the tax portion of a sale all the time. If you stick to only helping kids cover tax, $5 can go a long way.

I left there feeling like I didn’t help enough because I couldn’t help more kids buy stuff but I thanked myself later on for not carrying more money in my pockets. I would have gone broke and would probably never volunteer again if I had more cash on me!

A version of this first appeared on Cool4Dads. Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Sports can be a great way to keep your kids busy while building their confidence. And let’s not forget the health benefits that come along with them running around. But getting your kids to try a sport can be tricky, especially in the digital age. How do you introduce them to something new?

Most kids now are happy with linking with their friends online to play Madden or Fortnite, so it is up to us parents to expose them to things outside of technology. Let’s keep it real though, it’s not always easy, but you don’t have to go crazy or broke introducing them to new sports.

Find a sports camp

A really good and cheap way to introduce your kids to a new sport is via sports camps. They are easy to find, can run for a few days and some are very affordable — you’ll can even find ones that are free.

I got lucky and found a one-day football camp Hyundai motors hosts around the country with random NFL players. It was free but we had to travel 45 minutes to get there. It was well worth the trip as my son got to meet Evan Engram of the N.Y. Giants. They had 300 kids on the field learning at various stations.

There was no pressure to be the best. They only pressured them to have fun and make friends. My son took full advantage and even told me after the 3-hour camp that he wanted to play football this winter.

Remember, your kid is not you

Growing up, all I had were my friends and the sports we played because video games and even cable TV was meant for the rich in the 1980s, we were not there — LOL! Since all I sports were all I had, I was always hungry to be the best.

My son, not so much! He has everything he wants. He’s spoiled in that sense and isn’t always hungry to compete. Win or lose, he’s happy — definitely not me!

It took me a while to realize that pushing him to be as competitive as I was wasn’t the right way to get him playing various sports. He just didn’t care as much as I did and that’s OK.

Don’t be that dad that pushes your child to do what you do. Let them grow and support them when possible.

Easy on the tough love of new sports

Ohhhh, I am the worst at applying tough love. I believe in it so much that sometimes I take it to far. I’ll call my son names like “weak sauce” and even tease him when another kid does better than him.

What can I say? I’m not perfect but I do expect my child to try his hardest every chance he gets.

However, I have also learned that sometimes we dads overboard. We say things to our kids that destroy their confidence or hunger to play instead of encouraging them.

It happens and will probably continue to happen but we must also know when we take it too far. Remember you’re introducing them to something new, they will not be great right out of the box.

Just try to always remember that the decision to play a sport should be on your child, not you. If they decide to play, push them to be succeed but without being a dick! You never know, they might be down to continue with the sport or want to give it up. But at least you did your part introducing to something other than cheat codes on their PlayStations.

A version of this first appeared on Cool4Dads. Sliding photo by Brandon Mowinkel on Unsplash.

“James, you’re not helping him by being tough, you’re being mean.”

It took a while to let that sink in as I looked at my wife in disbelief.

I couldn’t believe that what I thought was showing my oldest son, tough love, was actually looking like and feeling like I had no love for him.

My dad was huge on tough love and it helped push me to do things I might have never tried. Now as a dad myself, I also use tough love on my kids.

However, this one time I had to agree with my wife. I wasn’t showing my son tough love, I was being a dick. I was killing his pride instead of helping him become stronger.

It all started with our trip to Metlife Stadium for their annual fitness expo. We had such a dope time at that event last year that this year we went super early so we could sign up to do duo zip lining.

My oldest has done a ton of zip lines. This one would be his shortest one ever and his 5-year-old brother really wanted to try it. You know I was down for it also.

My oldest and I headed to the top of the platform to start our adventure. That’s when I started to notice that my oldest was actually scared of this one. Til this day I still don’t know why since he has done way scarier zip lines before. Maybe it was the crowd of people? Maybe every zip line, no matter the length, is a new adventure? Who knows.

The plan was to have me go a few seconds ahead of him so I could record our trip down together, but it didn’t work out as planned.He backed down and I became a jerk.

Teasing not encouragement

Instead of being a support system, I myself panicked and resorted to tough love. I looked at him and angrily told him, “Stop being scared. We waited this whole time — do it!”and more.

I became that dad I hate. I started teasing him instead of encouraging him. Instead of talking him into doing it, I talked him right out of it.

My tough love wasn’t encouraging him, it was fucking with his head. It was making him feel like crap and to be honest I didn’t even stop to think about it.

He gave me a sad look and told me he would meet me on the other side. I jumped off the edge and zip lined down to the bottom while he walked down the stairs.

As we watched his 5-year-old brother zip line across the field, I kept throwing jabs.

I kept telling my oldest that he was acting “soft” and that he should be embarrassed that his little brother just did what we wouldn’t do. Not my finest hour.

Jab after jab, I kept serving him every chance I got. I forgot he wasn’t me and this wouldn’t help him “man up.” Well, at least not the way I was handling it.

I wanted him to conquer anything and everything that came his way, but I wasn’t helping by coming after him like I was. Instead, I was making him sad and it took my wife’s words for me to notice it.

My tough love was looking like I had no love for him and I was killing his pride, I was messing up. It happens to the best of us.

Tough love may have worked for you but …

I am a huge believer in tough love. This world is unforgiving and I like to think what my dad showed me really helped me with my life. It made me tougher in a neighborhood that needed kids to be tough. My son, however; he wasn’t raised in my crazy environment. I had to mature quickly; my son can just be a kid.

Instead of teasing my son about him being afraid, I should have stepped down with him and simply talked about it. Instead, I made him feel worthless by teasing him about something most kids would be afraid to do.

That doesn’t mean that tough love isn’t needed, there’s always a time and place for it. It just means that we need to know when we are going too far with it.

I messed up and I know it. Will it happen again? Probably, but next time I will try my hardest to not make tough love look like I have no love for the people I love the most. That’s all I can do and if I mess up again, I’m sure I’ll make it up to them somehow.

A version of this first appeared on Cool4Dads. Photo: Arisa Chattasa on Unsplash

You don’t need to have lighting-fast hands like Floyd Mayweather to take a boxing class as several NYC Dads Group members and their kids learned when we recently partnered with Crunch Gym to host a father-child event.

It was a dope way to get our involved with our kids, learn about exercise and good health, and also find our inner fighter.

Boxing with kids as motivation

For the past year, I have struggled to consistently hit the gym to lose the fat I have accumulated as a dad for the past 11 years. Yeah, the struggle is real!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be down with the dad bod movement anymore. Also, Drake said it best, “I don’t wanna die for them to miss me,” and I take this even more seriously as I get older. I just don’t want to do cool things with them, I want to be around to see them grow and have their own families.

Health is important and it’s a must that we teach our kids all about it. By partnering with Crunch Gym, we were able to do just that while also having fun. There’s no greater motivation than our kids, so make it happen.

Learning the boxing basics together

Coming from where I come from in the South Bronx, being able to use your hands for protection is a must. My dad taught me how to use my hands early while growing up.

He taught me how to defend myself but didn’t teach me the proper form to do so, that’s where Robert Phillips from Crunch Gym stepped in. We started out with a quick 15-minute warmup that got our blood and sweat flowing before jumping into the real boxing stuff.

None of of fathers were pros at boxing so our trainer guided us on the proper form and stance. We learned how to throw jabs and hooks and how to counterpunch without losing our balance while defending ourselves.

We all messed up at times and that’s what really made it fun. No one was passing judgment and watching our kids learn while having fun was a huge blessing. Some might even knock your teeth out now so be careful – LOL.

Working out doesn’t have to be boring

I’m the first to admit that working out used to be super boring to me. I would do the same old workout every time I hit the gym. That killed my motivation, big time.

Throwing punches for 20 to 30 minutes can really work you out but our trainer wanted to do even more for us.

Robert taught us that boxing isn’t just about throwing punches, it also tests your endurance. Well, this dad doesn’t have the endurance he once had and my son proved that to the whole class. Dads were pitted against their kids as we ran suicides and worked on our footwork using speed ladders.

Like most dads, I let my son think he was going to win the suicide portion but eventually outraced him. Now the speed ladders — that’s a different topic. The kids killed it while us dads looked like we were one step from hitting the ground. We all laughed at our lack of footwork skills while also cheering each other on. The sweating was real but so was the fun.

Make it happen, captain

If your local gym is as cool as our Crunch Gym, ask them if they have a boxing class you can do with your kids. If they don’t have one, offer to help them get one started or find a place that does offer it. It is a fun way to learn the basics of boxing while promoting a healthy lifestyle with your kids.

In fact, everyone had so much fun that they forgot that they were really working out: win-win for us all. Floyd Mayweather is lucky he retired because we are all ready for him now!

A version of this first ran on Cool4Dads.