Did you know that what we call the “fall colors” of leaves are actually their glorious “true” colors? The leaves don’t change to new colors in autumn but instead revert to their original colors. I learned this years ago when my oldest daughter asked why the leaves change color.

As a way to bond (and hide my ignorance), I suggested we search the internet together for information. We found that, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, “the four primary pigments that produce color within a leaf are chlorophyll (green); xanthophylls (yellow); carotenoids (orange); and anthocyanins (reds and purples). During the warmer growing seasons, leaves produce chlorophyll to help plants create energy from light. The green pigment becomes dominant and masks the other pigments. … As days get shorter and nights become longer … the fading green allows a leaf’s true colors to emerge, producing the dazzling array of orange, yellow, red and purple pigments we refer to as fall foliage.”

Equipped with this knowledge, we annually observe the emergence of fall colors differently. It’s a richer, more wonder-filled experience for our family. I thought of this phenomenon and its relationship to parenting while reading Alexandra Horowitz’s recent book, On Looking: A Walker’s Guide to the Art of Observation.

In the book, Horowitz takes 11 neighborhood walks with different experts to experience the same scenes with different eyes. The results are remarkable. Horowitz realizes “I had become a sleepwalker on the sidewalk. What I saw and attended to was exactly what I expected to see” and nothing else.

From a geologist, she learns “limestone, a popular building material, is full of the shells, remains, and other traces of ancient animals. … Taking this in, my view of the street was entirely changed: no longer was it passive rock; it was a sea graveyard.” From a field naturalist, she learns “even when you see no bugs before you, even when the ground looks still and the air looks clear, they are there.”

Learn through how children observe the world

Most relevant to parenting is what Horowitz learns about observation from her 19-month-old son. For him, a walk is “an investigatory exercise that begins with energy and ends when (and only when) exhausted.” An infant “has no expectations, so he is not closed off from experiencing something anew.” Also, the relative absence of language enables very young children to “sense the world at a different granularity, attending to parts of the visual world we gloss over; to sounds we have dismissed as irrelevant.”

Horowitz views a child’s acquisition of language in paradoxical terms. She acknowledges that language is key to a child’s development and navigation of the world. Hence, language could be compared to the necessary green pigment that fosters growth on leaves. But Horowitz also laments that the naming of objects in a child’s environment gradually limits his or her ability to observe and perceive additional aspects — or what might be called the environment’s true (and masked) colors — more fully.

She notes the bittersweet onset of language for her growing toddler. “I knew I did not have long before words, enablers of thoughts but also stealers of idiosyncrasies, muted his theatricality. And so our family had together created a fluid vocabulary of expressions, facial and bodily, that could be applied to a new situation,” she writes.

This poignant passage no doubt triggers every parent’s memories of those infant-to-toddler days when sounds were not yet words. One of my daughters at that age would repeat the sound “ta-doo” in varying tones. For weeks the family tried to discern the meaning of the sound. Then, one day, an older cousin simply said: “Maybe it just means ‘ta-doo.’” Somehow that settled the debate.

Improve your observational skills  

Every parent also remembers entertaining formulations from their children’s early language days. My older daughter once told me: “Dad, I’m a little bit big and a little bit little.” My younger daughter once wrote in her journal: “My dad has hair on both sides of his head and nothing in the middle.” That last one burned a little bit.

Selective attention is necessary for life, but parents should try not to narrow their attention too rigidly. Follow the example of very young children before language development. Try to maintain an open mind that does not allow habit and expectation to become blinders that restrict understanding.

A great way to embody this message might be a family nature walk this fall. Slow down and inspect the surroundings together. Keep a sense of wonder about all that reveals itself — like those “true colors” in the trees that the pandemic cannot cancel. Try to keep seeing the world with fresh, unmasked eyes.

Observe autumn photo: © Volodymyr / Adobe Stock.

You know who really falls for autumn dad jokes? A-parent-ly, you!

Don’t worry, they get better.

Ha! Of course, they don’t! Did you really fall for that? You really are a fall guy!

Since you’ve loved our summer dad jokes (the Halloween and Thanksgiving ones, too) we felt a duty to dive deep into the internet to find some of the best (and mostly, the worst) autumn dad jokes out there.

So if kid-friendly puns about gourds and trees are your thing, look no further than below. If they aren’t, then leaf us alone!

Best / worst autumn dad jokes 

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Q: Why did the robot couple insist on being married in the fall?
A: They wanted to be fully autumn-mated.

Q: How did the tree get a new job?
A: He had the right qua-leaf-ications.

Mom: Autumn is better than summer.
Dad: Nope, that’s a fall-acy.

Q: Why did the tree have to go to work every day this fall?
A: Because he couldn’t get any autumn leaves.

Q: What did the blades of grass say to the tree at the start of autumn?
A: “Please don’t leaf us again!”

+ + +

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best.

Winter says, “Snow is so beautiful, and you can build snowmen. Don’t forget Christmas! Everyone loves Christmas!”

Spring laughs. “Sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers and blooms — it can’t get much better than that!”

Summer laughs even harder. “Yes, but I am undoubtedly the overall best season! No school, beach vacations, ice cream, nice weather. You can’t top that! What about you autumn, what do you have to offer?”

Autumn leaves.

+ + +

Q: Why did the pumpkin lose the boxing match?
A: He let his gourd down.

Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?
A: The crossing gourd.

Q: How do leaves travel from town to town?
A: With autumn-mobiles.

Q: What’s the ratio of an orange gourd’s circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: What does a farmer wear under his shirt when the autumn weather turns chilly?
A: A har-vest.

Q: What’s the best way to fix a broken pumpkin?
A: Use a pumpkin patch!

Q: What’s James Bond’s favorite autumn drink?
A: Pumpkin spy-ce latte

Q: Why’s it so easy to play practical jokes on leaves in autumn?
A: They fall for anything

+ + +

The mob boss had four henchmen: Winter, Summer, Spring and Autumn. The boss called them into a meeting before a heist.

“Winter,” he began. “I need you to stay cool in the face of pressure. Ice in your veins,” he said, patting his shoulder.

“Then there’s you, Summer,” he said. “If the heat becomes too much for Winter, use that hot temper of yours to make sure the cops remember who they’re working for.”

“As for you, Spring,” he laughed, “This operation is gonna bring in a lotta green. Make sure that it keeps growing.”

He turned for the door as Autumn stood up.

“Boss!” he sputtered. “What about me?”

The boss turned back, shaking his head.

“Sorry, Autumn. You’re just the fall guy.”

+ + +

Q: What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
A: You’ll get autumn’y ache.

Q: Why did the pumpkin and the butternut squash get on so well?
A: They were gourd friends.

Q: Why did no one laugh at the oak tree?
A: He kept telling acorn-y jokes

Q: What’s a fire’s least favorite month?
A: No-ember.

Q: What is the cutest season?
A: Awwtumn.

Q: What’s red, orange and yellow and doesn’t get hurt when it falls?
A: Autumn leaves!

Q: How are you supposed to talk in the apple library?
A: With your incider voice.

Q: What do you get if you drop a pumpkin?
A: Squash.

Q: What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of autumn?
A: In disbe-leaf.

Q: Did you hear about the tree that had to take a break in autumn?
A: It was on a paid leaf.

Q: What’s a tree’s least favorite month of the year?
A: Sep-timberrrrrrr!

Q: When winter arrives, what happens?
A: Autumn leaves!

Best autumn dad jokes photo: © Javier brosch / Adobe Stock.

Halloween dad jokes may be the scariest part of this once ghoulish holiday. I mean, c’mon — the most horrifying thing about trick-or-treating nowadays is the shrinking size of the candy bars. Fun size, my disembodied eye!

As a service to our readers (and disservice to their friends, co-workers and relatives), we have scoured the internet for the best/worst Halloween dad jokes for kid, friends and family alike. If you use these holiday dad jokes, you will prove you know jack o’ lanterns about the puny business of this horrible, horrible season.

Enjoy … and beware. Beeeeeeeeeeewaaaaaaaaaaaare!

Best/worst Halloween dad jokes

Q: What do you get when you burn a monster in Budapest?
A: Hungarian ghoul ash.

Q: Why do ghosts speak Latin?
A: Because it’s a dead language.

Q: Why wouldn’t the skeleton go trick or treating?
A: Because he didn’t have any guts.

Q: What do short-sighted ghouls wear?
A: Spooktacles.

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Little BOO Peep.

Q: What does a ghost do when he gets in the car?
A: Puts on his sheet belt.

Q: Why do ghosts hate rainy Halloweens?
A: It dampens their spirits.

Q: What kind of boats do vampires travel in?
A: Blood vessels.

Q: What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.

Q: Why did the Jack-o’-Lantern look after the pie?
A: They were pump-kin.

+  +  +

Don’t bother inviting the Invisible Man to your Halloween party. He won’t show up. He’ll make plenty of excuses, but they’re all transparent.

+  +  +

Q: Why are demons and ghouls always together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.

Q: Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
A: Because they don’t have any body to go with.

Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash.

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.

Q: Why is Dracula so easy to fool?
A: Because he’s a sucker.

Q: How do monsters like their eggs?
A:  Terror-fried.

Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: Necktarines.

Q: Why are ghosts great cheerleaders?
A: Because they have spirit.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What do you call a chicken that haunts your house?
A: A poultrygeist.

Q: Which monster is red, round and only comes out in late October?
A: Frankenapple.

Q: What did the girl horse dress as for Halloween?
A:  A night mare.

Q: What do witches use on their hair?
A: Scare spray.

Q: Who did the demon take to the Halloween dance?
A: His ghoul friend.

Stay tuned — Thanksgiving dad jokes coming soon! Then watch out for more jokes for kids for Christmas, Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day!

Halloween jokes for kids photo: ©be free / Adobe Stock.

Welcome back to our new feature focusing on “only in NYC” experiences. This fun-filled column will uncover some of the most unique and epic family destinations in and around New York City. Strap on your safety belts, grip those handlebars and come along for the ride!

Six Flags Great Adventure is our family’s favorite theme park. We’re season pass holders and we go several times a year for our fix of adrenaline-pumping roller coasters, thrilling attractions and family entertainment. Usually less than a 90-minute drive from New York City, Six Flags Great Adventure is an easy day trip.

Felling ready to conquer our biggest fears and with my son finally at a more “mature” age (11 years old), we decided to journey at dusk to immerse ourselves in Six Flags Great Adventure Fright Fest 2019. As the sun set over the hills of Jackson, N.J., our favorite theme park became the scariest place on the planet. Around 6 p.m., hundreds of Six Flags performers wearing professional make-up and costumes disguised as demons, ghouls, zombies, frightening clowns and freaky beasts flooded the entire theme park.

In a span of two hours, we navigated through eight different haunted mazes — indoor and outdoor — and were living in a nightmare and loving every minute of it. We dodged through fog zones, disorienting lights, frightful scenes and sometimes were being chased by zombies armed with real chainsaws (without the chains). Everything felt so real – you could smell the gasoline emanating from the chainsaws!

There’s something for everyone at this massive Halloween fright night. Along with the mazes, there are performances, photo ops and also all of the everyday rides. Beware: A “Haunted Maze Pass” (extra fees apply) is required to meander the eight, spooky labyrinths. Our favorite indoor maze was “Reflections of the Dead,” a mysterious and memorable hall of mirrors where we came face to face with some ghastly zombies at every turn, there one minute, and gone the next. After our escape, we decided we loved this unique maze so much we had to go a second time.

If you only have time for one maze, we highly recommend “The Wicked Woods.” Set in a dense, dark, and remote section of the amusement park, this particular attraction is sure to give you hair-raising chills. Evil creatures lurk behind trees, oak barrels, and abandoned cars then jump out at you when you least expect it. The heavy fog in the woods made it nearly impossible to see what’s directly in front of you so this unique experience took lots of courage for all of us. There’s definitely a reason why the suggested age for the mazes are 12 and up!

Overall, we had an incredible experience at Six Flags Great Adventure Fright Fest and can’t wait to add it to our annual family traditions.

Six Flags Fright Fest has a limited engagement so make sure to visit before it disappears on Sunday, Nov. 3, 2019.

Disclosure: We received a complimentary “Haunted Maze Pass” and admission to facilitate this review. The thoughts and opinions expressed in this article are genuine.

As the heat of summer burns off, the nights creep ever so longer, and the air turns crisp and cool, my family returns to our favorite fall tradition — a weekend camping trip.

Even with small kids, camping doesn’t need to feel like an impossibly miserable weekend sleeping on the cold, hard ground. With a little preparation, camping can become a fall favorite for your family too.

Camping starts with a tent

First, make sure you have the right kind of gear. Of course, you’ll want a tent. If you don’t own a tent, borrow one. Just make sure you practice setting it up in your own yard (and check you have all the parts) so you are not surprised or frustrated when you arrive at your campsite. While setting up, make sure your kids are involved in helping too. Have them help arrange the inside of the tent with sleeping bags, pillows and blankets. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can even allow them to hammer in the tent stakes using a rubber mallet.

Food prep

I think of summer as a relative that comes to visit. You know, that favorite aunt or uncle who greets you with a hug and a smile. The relative delights you with stories and adventures and you can’t believe how much fun you are having – until you realize that it is about to end.

I don’t think the season dies. I merely think summer takes a break. Sometimes, like that aunt or uncle, she comes back for a brief visit before a long absence and you are reminded of all that is humorous and right with the world. Your steps are a little lighter, your stride is stronger. The sun shines brighter.

But eventually she has to catch her bus. She has to go – wherever that mystical place that aunts and uncles go when the Greyhound pulls off yet she doesn’t leave you empty handed.

The souvenirs summer leaves are bountiful — sights, smells, tastes, naps all encased in photos, tans, postcards and memories. These gifts only become stagnant if you don’t visit them, and care for them, and celebrate them even after they have happened. They become stagnant when you don’t remember the sound of the splash of the water, or the warmth of the sun, or the grit of the sand between your toes. They become stagnant when you don’t relish and revisit the sly smile of a child right before they take the first lick of a frozen treat from the first summer ice cream truck.

As the sounds of school buses revving their engines take over the previously quiet mornings, summer takes this as her signal to get on her bus.

But she will be back and, technically, if you hold on to those memories, those adventures, to all of her sounds, smells, tastes and tales – she never really leaves.

A version of this first appeared on Tales from the Poop Deck.