Light up the night! Families seeking unique, safe, outdoor adventures this holiday season should venture over to Shimmering Solstice at Old Westbury Gardens. Immerse in a majestic fairytale as you wander the lovely grounds at Old Westbury Gardens transformed into a wonderland of light.

This is the first year for this festival of lights on Long Island, NY. It took about 75 minutes to meander and explore dramatic light effects at this walk-through (it’s approximately one mile) experience. Surprises abound at every turn until the magical, grand finale- a ten minute, projection light show displayed on the face of stately, Westbury House. A truly intoxicating encounter! We could gush on and on about how the projection show alone is worth the price of admission, but don’t won’t to be a spoiler.

Overall, this outdoor experience felt very safe. A few of the paths were narrow, but we had plenty of space to ourselves most of the time. It was very family friendly and we all enjoyed the “warming area” filled with seating, heaters, and fire pits with a tent that served overpriced ($6 per cup), but delicious hot chocolate and cookies.

#ShimmeringSolstice runs almost daily before wrapping up on January 9, 2022.

We loved it and will definitely be back again next year!

Disclosure: NYC Dads Group received free admission to Shimmering Solstice. Opinions provided in this post have not been influenced by the free passes.

It should be the easiest thing in the world for me to do. As an at-home dad, you’d think all I did was hang out with my kid, right? Yes and no. It’s complicated.

While my 2-year-old son comes first, I do work. Real estate doesn’t sell itself (well, kinda, but that’s not the point). I also oversee events, social media and more for the Anchorage Dads Group; I’m on the board of a nonprofit, and I have to jam in time for my wife as well. Life is busy.

Caring for my son consumes a lot of time and takes priority over everything during the day. Everything revolves around his eating and sleeping schedule. Even a lot of my work is about him.

However, on a Monday morning, I found myself where I am frequently — rushing while time flies past. Rushing to get breakfast made; rushing to get the kid fed, cleaned and dressed; rushing to get lunch packed and us on the road in an hour or less. This is our routine almost every weekday.

“Am I really taking all this time we have together, filling it with hustle and bustle, fighting to get him into the car seat, and relegating my role from father to that of chauffeur and chef?” I wondered.

Yes.

“Am I missing out on developing his mind in favor of imprinting upon him that getting everything done in the morning as fast as you can is the most important thing?”

Yes.

“Am I going to regret not taking one measly morning or two a week to stay at home with him, cook a complicated and involved breakfast, read together, and maybe listen to music with him?”

Yes.

Good parenting beyond what the books say

I’m doing so many things right as this time flies by. Excellently good, in fact.

My professional education and experience has made me fairly knowledgeable about the philosophies of parenting. My kid NEVER get processed food. Never gets sugary food or drinks. His first two birthday “cakes” were a banana with a candle in it. He is on the cusp of reading already. At age 2! He can draw several letters. He can count to 20. He gets basic mathematics teaching at least once a week. He can hit a ball pitched to him AND run to first base, dribble a soccer ball down the field to score a goal and shoot a hoop with good form. He has a solid group of friends (with great dads) he looks forward to seeing frequently.

My role in all this has been the hustling chauffeur, chef and coach/instructor. Simple and basic “play time” is missing. It’s hard to remember the last time we had just regular ol’ horseplay. His “unstructured playtime,” as prescribed by professionals, is by himself while I do my work.

My mom made a comment on her last visit to the effect of “ages 2 to 5 are the best ages because that’s when kids are the most fun.” Really? Where’s my fun with him? It’s hard to remember the last time. He has fun scheduled all the time, but I’m a secondary part of it. What’s our “thing,” other than me bundling him up and shoving him into a car seat to go to the next thing on our list?

Evening reading time and play is primarily saved for his mom and their time of the day.

Seeing a picture of me just a year ago, where I was lifting him upside down by his legs, really got me missing a less busy life. It made me regret over-scheduling ourselves.

Such an easy solution is within my ability – cancel unimportant things. I can make everything necessary fit, but I need to shut down those activities that aren’t important so I can just be present.

Back to what’s “our” thing. I’m going to make “our thing” exercise. Just a couple of days ago he surprisingly did push-ups, squats and leg lifts with me. We followed that up with the introduction to premium wrestling moves: body slams, DDTs, power slams, and then the Boston Crab (very lightly!).

Maybe I’ll throw learning into “our thing”? Get him fully reading at age 3? Adding and subtracting at age 4? He can already count to 20, maybe we can hit 50 this year? He can recognize the word “cat,” maybe I can get him to write his name?

All it’s going to take from me is to slow down and focus on spending time — our time — together.

Time flies photo: © peopleimages.com / Adobe Stock.

We all feel the stress of life as a modern-day parent.

School. Work. Traffic. Bills. Politics. Scheduling kids’ activities. Shuttling kids to those activities. More traffic. Sometimes it feels like we are on a wheel that never stops.

To decompress, our family a few times a year tries to visit relatives who live on a 15-acre farm in Sonoma County — about an hour north of San Francisco and just west of Napa Valley.

It is a beautiful vineyard with views of the valley below. Every morning roosters and geese wake you as they go out in search of food and water. The daylight has a soft glow to it that is refreshing and, at night, you can see every single star in the pitch black sky. “Grandpa Stan” — the farm’s owner and resident for the past 30 years — calls it his “little slice of heaven.”

But what I love so much about visiting the farm with the family is the simplicity of the life there. Working the soil with your hands and tending to the grapes. Fixing everything on the farm from a broken ladder to a tractor engine. Picking strawberries and collecting eggs for the freshest breakfast you can ever imagine. All these little tasks are so foreign to our “city kids” but so meaningful because it connects them to the food they eat, the things they own and the people they love (mostly us).

Our kids soak in so much when they are in nature, especially when they are young. My 5-year-old is learning about seeds at her pre-school and she was fascinated every time she identified seeds on the farm. And my 2-year-old is into dirt — picking it up, crumbling it in his fingers … tasting it. And there was lots of dirt for him to play with on the farm.

As “city dads,” it isn’t such a bad idea to take our children out of the city every once in a while. A little time to commune with nature and to learn where things come from and how to make them. Maybe then they can appreciate all they have in the city, too.

Post your stories about your experiences to get the kids out of the city.

Ghosts and ghouls, beware! NYC Dads Group members and their offspring will be on the prowl for tricks-and-treats for Halloween this Saturday.

To celebrate, here are some of the family Halloween costumes from years past that our members and their children have worn. Enjoy!

Indiana Jones 

Jason Grant: “Jake is dressed as the last knight from ‘The Last Crusade.'”

The Incredible Hulk/Michael Jackson and Iron Man

Christopher Persley: “My daughter was The Incredible Hulk Jackson, a combination of her two favorites: Michael Jackson and the Hulk, of course. I was inventor, billionaire, playboy Tony Stark.”

Superman and Superboy

Larry Interrante, NYC Dads Group: “Last Halloween, Peter and I decided to be superheroes. He is wearing classic Superman and I am Superman from the movie, ‘Man of Steel.’ I think Peter is a super boy and, to him, I can do anything, so I am Superman.”

Editor’s Note: You can find a few more dads in Halloween costumes on the City Dads Group site.

I am a big fan of both poetry and children and now is the time to celebrate them both — April is National Poetry Month!

The Academy of American Poets first declared National Poetry Month in April 1996. Over the years, it has become the largest literary celebration in the world with schools, publishers, libraries, booksellers, and poets celebrating poetry’s vital place in our culture.

The Academy of American Poets’ website serves as a hub for information about local poetry events during the month, so be sure to check it out for local events you and the family can enjoy. The organization also provides free educational resources to teachers for classroom celebrations and activities, and commissions an annual festival poster with almost 150,000 copies distributed to schools, libraries, and community centers for free. In the past, these collectible posters have been designed by noted graphic designers such as Chip Kidd and Milton Glaser.

To help parents celebrate National Poetry Month with their little ones, I’ve compiled some excellent web resources for children’s poetry (reading and writing) below. Also here’s one of my favorite poems: Eating Poetry by Mark Strand. Strand passed away last year, but this poem of his lives on, and it is a great reminder of the joy of reading (and eating) poetry.

Eating Poetry is one of the first poems I remember reading and completely loving. It makes several leaps of metaphor that just make perfect sense to me, and it has left me hungry for more poetry ever since.

If you’ve got other resources to add, leave them in the comments below.

Poems written mostly by adults:

• Poetry Foundation poems for children
• 62 Poems for Kids
• Poets.org – Poems kids like
• Writers Digest: The Best Poems for Kids

Poems written mostly by kids

• Lori’s Webs: Young Poetsages 5 to 18
• AndreaShavick.com: Young Poets page

How to write poems with kids

• Kenn Nesbitt’s Poetry Writing Lessons for Kids
• Judy Helton’s teaching poetry