Editor’s Note: We’re digging into our archives for great articles you might have missed over the years. This article about Halloween with older children comes from 2017.

Last night was Halloween, and there were ghouls and fools aplenty. All our favorite shows were represented in various levels of costumed detail. Movies, too. Star Wars and superheroes, the staples of my own childhood, still remain firmly affixed upon those of my children. There were red balloons and orange buffoons, clowns from every angle.

The ratio of candy given to the amount received was squarely in their favor. My boys laughed. They had fun. They ate more sugar in one night than in the past six months combined. It was an evening of playful mischief and warmly lit wonder.

Man, I’m glad that’s over.

Except, and I’m not supposed to tell you this, it isn’t.

That may be because deadlines created by evil editors in eye shades are forcing me into actually writing this a week before, only pretending to have survived yet another Halloween. Or it may be because we live in a world so much scarier than anything the holiday can throw at us. Either way, we seem destined to live out the rest of our lives (or the next three years, whichever comes first) in a very special episode of American Gothic, but slightly more racist.

Maybe it’s both.

The thing is, I’m having a hard time getting into Halloween this year. There are several reasons, including, but not limited to the aforementioned fact that nothing make-believe can compare to the terror of our actual reality. Knowing that, it makes conversations about costumes and decorations feel mocking and hollow, the gallows humor of a Target aisle.

Also, I quit eating candy.

Additionally, the boys themselves seem less than excited about Halloween this year. As I typically fuel my enthusiasm from theirs, our home shows nothing to suggest the season but a couple of gourds rolling around our doorstep. The spiderwebs hung themselves.

For a while, I thought the boys may be apprehensive, seeing as each of them are in new, bigger schools than they were last year. Maybe they just needed some extra time to get a feel for how Halloween worked at the current level. I may have been too optimistic.

The oldest did have a costume idea that he seemed relatively interested in, where “interested” means he mentioned it once. He thought it would be fun to dress as Monty Python’s version of the Spanish Inquisition, which if you are familiar with the sketch, is quite funny. However, I had to point out that the context may be lost on some people, which would leave him as:

• a non-Catholic kid appropriating a different culture (the irony being that the Spanish Inquisition was established to deny others their respective culture through acts of great severity), and
• wearing religious stuff to a public school, which may or may not be against the rules, but certainly out of my comfort zone.

The youngest remains uncommitted.

I suppose my fear is that this is yet another milestone on the path out of childhood, the one where holidays, while still enjoyed, lose a bit of the magic that once made them monumental. They are no longer the pinnacle of a season, but rather Tuesday with a wig on it.

Factor in the heat (it’s over 100 degrees today), carry the one, allow for whatever, and you’ve got The Great Bupkis, Charlie Brown (rocks sold separately).

Honestly, I don’t know what will become of Halloween this year, if this is new for us or just a phase that we are going through. I’m pulling for the latter. I will do my best to keep the season, but at the end of the day, I just want my kids to have fun. We could all use a bit of that.

UPDATE: We did it. The boys picked out costumes on Monday after school while I went through the slim pickings of discount candy a couple of aisles over. The youngest chose a werewolf mask, the oldest a decorative light. One cut shirt and a jigsaw later I found myself sitting in a neighbor’s house with a group of other parents (and the frequent passerby) watching the Dodgers take it to Game 7 while the boys enjoyed the safety of mob mentality, a pack of sugar-bellied kids knocking and laughing and hopefully saying “thank you.” They were back by the bottom of the 8th, taking the corner and rounding for home.

A few weeks before our family left for a weeklong Disney World adventure, I posted a meme. It read, “Vacationing with kids is just parenting in another city.” Now, a couple of months removed from our Florida trip, I began thinking back on a few things I learned along the way. My hope is these theme park hacks might save you some money and frustration during your next family trip.

Maybe skip the rental car

Most of us are programmed to rent a car when we travel simply for convenience. We experienced multiple issues on our trip with two different rental car companies. One was literally the subject of a Seinfeld episode (holding the reservation is the most important part of a reservation!). Then there was the dead car battery four days into our vacation. And, finally, the dead key fob that resulted in us being stranded in a Disney World parking lot for three hours. 

My main takeaway from these incidents: maybe we didn’t need a rental car at all. 

We spent most days swimming at our resort or visiting with family staying at their nearby hotels. On the other days, we went from our resort to the theme parks and back. The rental was basically parked most of the day in an overpriced Disney lot for $25 to $50 a day. That’s on top of the rental car fee that included 10 different taxes and fees not to mention fluctuating gas prices and tolls. In contrast, an Uber from our hotel to the parks was $15 to 20 one way.

So for around $40 a day, we could have been hassle-free. And we would still have our neck pillows which were trapped in our dead car and then lost by the rental company.

Get the “fast pass”

If you are doing Disney or any theme park thing, just go all in. Buying the “fast pass” (or the park’s equivalent) is well worth the extra cost per ticket (the Walt Disney World Genie+ fast pass costs $15 per person). It allows you to skip waits for several rides throughout the day. We used ours to focus on the rides that usually have the longest lines. Then you can save your actual waiting for other less popular rides with shorter or more reasonable lines. 

Buy souvenirs before you get there

I have three kids, and I knew they would want souvenirs at Disney. So, we hit up a nearby Target and let them go nuts (not too nuts but enough to be happy). They got a branded water bottle from the $1 section at the very front of the store and then I let each of them pick three T-shirts (one for each park we were visiting). Buying nine T-shirts with their favorite characters on them for under $12.99 each saved us a bundle when shirts at the parks were $20 and up.

Pro theme park hacks: We also promised we would buy them their own “laser swords” on Amazon so they would be less inclined to want to build their own light saber in the Star Wars park at $150 per person. Not to mention, the more bought when you travel, the more to figure out how to bring back home.

Eat affordably

Breakfast, lunch and dinner add up quickly. One way to save is to stay at a hotel that includes a free hot breakfast. (“Hot” usually means a waffle maker and a tray of scrambled eggs versus cold cereal and fruit). For lunch, many parks let you bring food in, so we hit a supermarket for cold cuts and snacks.

If you want to splurge, save it for dinner. While we would have saved more by eating outside of Disney, having a reservation for one of the themed on-site restaurants proved a fun experience. It also offered a nice time to recharge since those restaurants tended to be less busy and crowded than the walk-up restaurants. 

If your hotel room has a kitchen, making a simple meal for one or two nights can really save you. Think pasta or hot dogs.

Pro theme park hacks: Bring a refillable water bottle! Many parks today have water fountains or refill stations. For example, concession stands at Disney World let you refill with ice and water for free. 

Remember to have fun

You’ll have spent a lot of money just getting to your destination. You’ll spend even more when you get there. But don’t get so caught up in what you have spent that you forget why you are there: to make good memories with your family.

Make sure not only that kids are having fun but also that they are not so tired by day’s end that they won’t want to ever go to another theme park. At Disney World, for example, the parks are huge, and for much of the year, Florida is hot. And, don’t forget, kids love to complain. Be ready for that and be adaptable because kids will be kids.

Pro theme park hacks: Take the opportunity to teach your kids a bit about the value of a dollar. When they ask for some overpriced trinket, see how much they still want it when you tell them to use their allowance. That’s how you raise a smart consumer.

Theme park hacks photo: © Rawpixel.com / Adobe Stock.

In the Disney movie Encanto, the character Luisa has super-strength. Covered in muscles, she lifts boulders and just about anything else for the household and the surrounding village. When pressed by her younger sister, Luisa confesses through song that she feels burdened by her gift of strength, physical and otherwise. She feels constant weight from expectations to carry “all the heavy things [others] can’t shoulder” and, on the inside, she feels ready to crack. Yet she maintains a strong façade because she thinks it’s what everyone needs but, as the pressure never stops, she doesn’t know how much more she can take.

Her song struck a nerve for me and, I suspect, for many other dads.

Dad is supposed to be the strong one. Dad carries the weight of the house and the family. He’s supposed to be in charge — the guy who’s got it all together. But under the surface, how we dads handle pressure matters. Because, ultimately if dad does crack, it’s the kids who get hurt most.

As a stay-at-home father, I feel a lot of pressure. Stay-at-home parenting means being at work 24/7/365 with little sleep, lots of self-doubt, and the isolation from other adults that comes from being alone children most of the day. My jobs include making sure the kids are happy, healthy, engaged, entertained, educated, creative, fed, sleeping, not killing each other, not killing anyone else, not destroying the house, and so on. Then come the household responsibilities: grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning (which, for parents of young kids is the equivalent of constant post-tornado repair), home maintenance and million other things. All this for a job that isn’t particularly respected.

Oh, and don’t even try to wrap your head around the biggest pandemic in a millennium, political upheavals, climate change, or anything else of the global catastrophe variety.

For many dads, the worst pressure of all comes from within. As a self-acknowledged perfectionist, I feel a constant push to not just be Dad, but to be the “perfect” Dad. The kids have to be constantly engaged. They can’t be on screens, but should be completely tech-savvy. These children we raise should be artists, but Jackson Pollack-style doodles and smashed Play-doh in the hair isn’t good enough. They should be reading by the end of their first month, writing novels by age 2, and applying to colleges by 3. They should be popular and surrounded by friends, but of course can’t socialize with anyone these days because of COVID. And on and on the pressure builds. Life turns into an Instant Pot set on high, and that isn’t good for anyone: you, your spouse, or your kids.

You know the secret to good pressure cooking? It’s knowing when to turn the valve. There’s a moment when you flip the seal and steam erupts like a geyser. It’s the difference between a magnificent meal and a mutilated mush.

So how, as dads, can we turn the valve on our own pressure? How do we acknowledge that pressures are real and will always build, but relieve them before we burst?

Step One: Find the Quiet Moments

Look for times during your parenting day that can be lower key. If all else fails, and you’re overwhelmed, it’s not the end of the world to let them watch an episode or two of TV (try Bluey, dads – trust me). Yet, there’s a lot of answers beyond just screen time. Do the kids like to draw? Print out a mandala or complex illustration and color beside your kids! Coloring is proven therapy, and the adult coloring book industry thrives. Whatever your situation, and no matter how brief, try to make sure there’s a few down/lower energy moments in each day to vent that pressure.

Step Two: Mix It Up

Get outside. Get your kids on playdates. Go meet dads near you. Go on “dadventures and explore the many little things around you from the zoos and museums to the tourist traps and more. Too much monotony drains the soul and ups the pressure. If you’re inside everyday and the only conversations you have are with stuffed animals at tea parties, that pressure cooker’s ramping up. Talk to other human beings. Go to places outside the home. It forces you to stay active physically and that’s great for the kids, too.

Step Three: Find a Pressure Outlet and Maintain it

Almost every dad I know has an outlet outside of his kids. I’m a fantasy writer. That doesn’t just mean I draft fantasy novels when the kids are asleep. I take moments during playtime to put on some epic fantasy music. While I’m in a repeat of the tea party that never ends, I allow a corner of my brain to daydream about those next plot twists. Combine that with aforementioned drafting, and writing is my release, a meditative event I honestly need. Some dads woodwork, others game or paint or brew beer. Doesn’t matter what the outlet is, find it and guard it as sacred time.

Step Four: Ask for Help

If the pressure’s too hard, tell your spouse. Hire a sitter. Reach out to your local City Dads chapter or some other dad friends. Talk to a therapist.

As Luisa in Encanto eventually realizes, asking for help is strength not weakness. We all take on too much. It’s OK to share that burden if we need to.

Don’t let the pressure win. We’ve all felt it. And hopefully we all realizes there are vents to let off that steam before you pop.

Photo: © DeStefano / Adobe Stock.

Editor’s note: New York City presents amazing cultural opportunities to share with our families. We recently collaborated with Disney’s “THE LION KING” to experience this legendary Broadway show. Member Corbin Younger reviews this must-see musical.  

As we roar into the holiday season, a pride of 25 NYC fathers and their children recently attended a production of Disney’s award-winning best musical  THE LION KING at the Minskoff Theatre. Coming up the escalators, my daughter and I immediately realized we were being transported someplace special.

The sides of the theater look like the Savanna, and there’s a giant wooden lion head watching majestically over the proceedings. As my daughter and I entered the theater lobby, we saw many parents and children with amazed looks on their faces. Before you get to your seats, you have the chance to marvel at several  costumes on display. This is a very smart tactic. Not only does it provide great opportunities for Instagram worthy pictures before the performance, but it gives the little ones a frame of reference so they can be prepared for what is coming.

And what comes when the show starts is like nothing I’ve ever experienced in theater.

The grand procession of animals to begin the show, through the audience, left me breathless. You’re transported from the middle of Manhattan to the middle of Africa, from the mundane to the magical.

My daughter exclaimed loudly “Wow!” and shook with delight at how amazing and intricate the costumes were.  Each animal is portrayed in a slightly different way through the use of masks, makeup, kites, puppetry, pulleys and performers. The actors did not simply display their costume, it is as if each personified the spirit of the animal. A simple stare, a sudden pause to clean themselves, each animal had a nuanced way to demonstrate their individuality. No matter how small or large, from giraffes to warthogs to buzzards, each animal is portrayed with skill and grace. We realized that each animal is unique, and has to be treated with respect.

And yet, even being unique, THE LION KING animals work in unison to create a circle of life, where each animal is interconnected. If one aspect of this circle goes awry, the show demonstrates, the effects of breaking this chain can be devastating. Greed and shortsightedness can lead to devastation, a lesson highly relevant in today’s global environment.

The circle of life also shows how a community supports each other. The main character, Simba, does not grow to be the leader he becomes without family and friends supporting him. Similarly, I saw this effect on a more local level among our NYC Dads Group attendees. Before the show, when I needed to use a restroom, other fathers from our group kept a watchful eye on my daughter. I paid this kindness forward a few minutes later. When we began to walk to our seats, one of the dads called out to a fellow father  who had forgotten his backpack on a chair. We looked out for each other as a tribe, and welcomed others into our circle. For one short moment, we were one tribe, one family. We were similarly honored to join the circle of those lucky enough to see a production like THE LION KING.

We loved ‘THE LION KING’

After the show, our group quickly began raving about this special experience. Here are a few highlights and observations from our circle of dads:

Having the opportunity to share this show with my daughter was truly amazing. Watching her face in awe as the opening number unfolded was worth a million dollars. The production team of THE LION KING does an amazing job alongside the talented actors throughout the entire show. We’ll be talking about this Broadway show for years to come. –– Dan G.

Bloody brilliant experience! Our first time on Broadway for both my daughter and I. I’m very grateful to have the opportunity to experience this with a great bunch of like-minded dads. Highlight was seeing the pure joy and amazement on my child’s face gawking at the unbelievable costumes and dancing! — Joe M.

Five stars! Every family should see this show. We especially loved the clever and creative animal costumes and great music. –– Chris D.

Seeing THE LION KING on Broadway was an awesome experience for my son and myself. His face was priceless throughout the entire show. So captivating. –– Larry I.

“I loved it!!”, said my daughter. It was a great time to share with my daughter and so many other NYC Dads. The costumes were unbelievable! — John S.

This was such a powerful experience for me. The first time I saw THE LION KING on Broadway was five years ago — the day before my daughter was born. Having the chance to share this spectacular Broadway musical with my daughter and seeing the pure joy in here eyes was the ultimate father/daughter bonding moment. THE LION KING was the perfect choice to be her first ever Broadway experience. We’ve been listening and dancing to the musical soundtrack in our home everyday so that’s when you know it made a positive impact on our lives. — Lance S.

Disclosure: The team at “The Lion King” provided this experience for NYC Dads Group members to attend. The opinions expressed in this review are heartfelt, honest, and 100 percent our own.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Corbin Younger is a tutor and parent advocate, part-time writer and full-time dad to his daughter. He was previously a special education teacher for 20 years in Virginia and New York.

Between the mid-century architecture and space-age technology of Pixar’s Incredibles 2, the long-awaited sequel to the 2004 blockbuster The Incredibles, we find the timeless tale of a family struggling in its quest to find work-life balance.

Yes, when it comes to household budgets and raising babies, even superheroes get the blues.

The tale is indeed timeless for several reasons, most notably, there is not a gap in the Incredibles/Parr family’s storyline as it picks up exactly where we left them in the previous film. Additionally, subtle shades of Stepford in Metroville, where conforming to the law of the land, specifically the criminalization of superhero activity, have left a life layered in capri pants and knit shirts. While the retro stylings meeting new math may offer a tease of steampunk spark, the idea of a man being a stay-at-home dad is still met with patronizing pats to assure the patriarchy remains at the head of the table.

Fortunately, our heroes are up to all of the challenges in Incredibles 2.

WARNING: Incredibles 2 spoilers ahead

When Elastigirl, the Incredibles matriarch (voiced by Holly Hunter), is offered an opportunity to become the face of a movement intent on the legalization of superheroes, a paid advocate who must break the law in order to change the law (and also protect other laws in the process — it’s complicated), it puts their “real” life Parr family in unfamiliar territory. They are broke, forced by the government to stash their super suits and permanently accept their secret identities as Parr for the course: Helen (Hunter) and Bob (Craig T. Nelson), respectively.

The job offer would require Helen to enter the workplace, something she is already considering, and subsequently call for Mr. Incredible to become merely human Bob, the primary caregiver of their three children (Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack). Despite his jealousy of his wife’s new position and a tiptoe around traditional gender roles, Bob supportively(-ish) accepts.

Mr. Incredible is NOT Mr. Mom 2.0

Being a stay-at-home dad does not come as easily to Bob as punching bad guys, but he is a quick, if not exhausted, learner.

From the get-go, he is faced with the landmines of a teenager’s love life, the aforementioned battle with new math and a bouncing baby boy who would rather wrestle raccoons than sleep. However, once Bob gets around his own ego he learns it is OK to admit he doesn’t have all the answers, that there is no shame in asking for help, and that you can’t solve every problem with your biceps.

He also makes a pretty mean waffle.

The story of stay-at-home Bob, despite the animated medium and superpower element, is incredibly realistic, accurate and relatable, especially for those still in the shallows of a new transition from working man to man running the household. This isn’t, thankfully, “Mr. Incredible becomes Mr. Mom,” but rather a man redefining his understanding of modern fatherhood in real-time.

Whereas Mr. Mom is a bumbling idiot trope hamming it up for laughs, Mr. Incredible is a man with very traditional views on masculinity suddenly confronted by his own ignorance and shortcomings, plus the fear thereof (and fear is not a thing he feels often). Yes, he stumbles and struggles, and grows frustrated, not because he is above such things or views them as “unmanly,” but because he never knew what he didn’t know. It is an awaking, in more ways than one, and he takes immediate strides to be a better parent. Is he perfect? No, not yet, but he’s willing to put in the time and the work, and that is a start.

So, too, Helen’s confident success and breaking of barriers, the impact of her own empowerment upon other characters in the film (and, presumably, the audience), suggest that the antiquated societal norms of gender, once thought timeless only a few scenes (and paragraphs) before, are anything but. It’s powerful, positive stuff, none of which is lost on the Parr children and the heroes of tomorrow, the benefits of which are, and I’m sorry about this, incredible.

We will let you know when Bob starts a City Dads Group in Metroville.

Disney/Pixar’s “Incredibles 2” opens June 15 and is rated PG. Film screening and all images provided by Disney/Pixar.

During the months leading up to Olivia’s birth I, like most other parents, would daydream about all the wonderful things I would teach my child to do as she got older. Things like how to ride a bike, how to skip stones on water and how to effectively parry an incoming Chun Li super move in Street Fighter.

Then the reality of having a child happens and you realize those things are luxury goals that can only come after you’ve taught them how to successfully function in our society. It’s up to you to get them to eat with utensils, to say “please” and “thank you,” to bathe regularly (using soap!) and, our current initiative, how to use the toilet.

Our daycare had notified us that they had begun potty training Olivia, which meant we needed to follow suit at home. After reminding ourselves about how lucky and privileged we are to have the people at her daycare taking the brunt of this responsibility, we set forth and bought supplies.

Disney themed pull-ups? Check.

Potty training chart with a cute bunny that is also learning how to go like a big girl? Check.

Warm and inviting toilet decoration to entice her to do the deed? Check.

We would ask every 20 minutes if she needed to go and reward her (stickers, cookies, scratch-off tickets, etc.) when a transaction was completed. The game was afoot.

But she won’t let it go

Olivia showed potty training promise early on, but then things started to fall apart. We’d get reports from daycare about how she’d just want to sit on the potty and not do anything, or that she’d just flat-out refuse to try. Things at home weren’t going much better, especially after she tried prying one of the reward stickers off the potty training chart, ripped it and then just shredded the chart altogether in frustration.

After a few weeks of this, we spoke to daycare and decided to put training on hold and revisit it later. When that time rolled around and daycare notified us that Olivia was showing interest again (e.g., sniffing around the bowl, marking it as her territory, lifting the lid and shouting “Is anybody home?”), so we picked right back up where we left off and hoped it would work this time.

The second time around began with a bit of a fizzle. She’d only go here and there, then we traveled for the holidays and just gave up during the break to make things easier for everyone. When we got back from our trips, we vowed to keep on top of things and try to reward her even more for going. We brought back the chart and told her that for every three successful potties we’d give her a treat. It could be ice cream, candy, a new (small) toy or she could trade those things in for what was behind door number 2. Sure it’s a gamble, but she could walk away with a sweet Chevy Vega…or a llama.

Some success but not much

Stickers and prizes only worked so well. Olivia was doing her best to remain stubborn and only go when she deemed it was time. I decided that enough was enough and did what any modern-day parent would do in this situation: I Googled the problem. Of the many potty training tactics I found, these seemed to resonate the most with me:

• Dying the toilet water with food coloring, which will react and change as they go and make fun colors. Make sure you don’t use darker colors though, because then they’ll question whether they are children of a demon or if they need immediate medical attention.
• Incentivizing the act of flushing the toilet, which is normally off-limits for them. Keep in mind you will also have to instruct them on how long to hold the handle and, depending on your toilet, the ancient art of jiggling the handle.
• Making them feel proud when they actually go. We normally give her a high-five and tell her what a big girl she is, but I think we could step it up a bit. From now on, every time she goes there’s going to be confetti and balloons falling from the ceiling while a marching band rolls through our apartment playing Queen’s “We Are The Champions.”
• Bringing technology into the mix and getting her a potty seat with an iPad dock so she has something to do while she waits. Adults get to play on their phones or read while they go, so why can’t our kids? They’ll be out of your hair for a while and it’ll only take one or two times before they’ve accessed your social media accounts or bought thousands of dollars worth of microtransactions in their favorite game. But hey, easy-mode parenting!

Here comes the princess

Things are still hit or miss, however, our saving grace could be coming from one of the last places we would have expected: the magical land of Arendelle.

Our daycare hosts movie nights on Fridays for kids ages 4 to 7. The catch: the kids have to be potty trained. Parents get to go out and have some fun for a few hours while their little one(s) have some fun of their own. Wouldn’t you know it, the next film to be shown is Frozen. If I remember correctly, Olivia’s reaction to this news went something like this.

Who cares if we already own a copy and she could watch it at any time? Or that she had sung “Let It Go” until my ears bled? This is a chance for her to have a night out with her friends. However, can we get her potty trained in time for this massive event which is circled in purple glitter on her calendar and she asks about every single day?

I have to admit, things have improved quite a bit since this event came up. At first, Olivia would go potty once and ask, “I go to the movie night now?” It’s adorable, but we had to let her down gently and remind her that she needed to keep doing this every day. It’s taking some time, but I think it’s starting to sink in. Sure, we have days where she’s defiant and doesn’t want to go for us. We keep reminding her about the movie night, which works some of the time. Daycare is reporting that she’s been able to ‘let it go’ fairly consistently for them, which is great news.

In the end, all we can do is try to get her to go and keep her motivated. The potty training sticker chart is filling up fast, treats have been doled out and our little girl is well on her way to becoming a big girl who can potty like the big kids do. I’m confident she’ll make the movie night and I’m hopeful that she’ll keep that momentum going after her 77th viewing of Frozen has come and gone. If not, we may have to bribe daycare to throw it back into the rotation sooner rather than later.

A version of Let It Go first appeared on Our Little Mixtape.

A select group of NYC Dads Group fathers, including myself, brought their children to Disney’s The Jungle Book for an exclusive, advanced IMAX 3D screening earlier this week.  If you plan to see this movie, I would highly recommend doing so in IMAX 3D as it’s visually stunning and one of the few movies since Avatar where the 3D effects truly enhance the viewing experience. The special effects were so incredible and lifelike you literally felt transported into the jungle with the animals and characters.

I’ve been a member of NYC Dads Group for three years. In that time, I have had different opportunities to attend events, see movie previews, and enjoy the social benefits of being part of such a wonderful organization. Living in New York City can be strangely lonely for a new father.  With so many people around all the time, everyone seems to be a stranger. When I do “fatherly” things with my daughter, I often do so in isolation. Being part of a dynamic group such as NYC Dads Group has proven invaluable for a sense of camaraderie.  A case in point occurred when I went to this movie.

A private check-in table, reserved seats, and free concessions were an unexpected honor to be considered a VIP just for being a dad! I guess having a group of 1,500 members strong has its perks, including the chance to write this Jungle Book review.

Nearly five dozen NYC Dads Group members and their families went to “the ball” Sunday at AMC 25 Empire theaters off Times Square to watch a preview of Disney’s new live action Cinderella movie on a gigantic IMAX screen.

An abundance of smiles could be seen on both young and old faces in the crowd of approximately 250 attendees, the largest “meetup” in the NYC Dads Group’s six-year history. There was something quite beautiful about being in a room full of families, which also included families from the Baby Buggy Fatherhood Initiative that encourages men to be active and responsible dads. Since 2010 Baby Buggy has provided fathers who participate in our partner fatherhood programs in New York and Los Angeles with donations of clothing and goods that they need to keep their children safe and healthy.

Free popcorn and beverages aided everyone’s movie-going experience not that much was needed when the screen turned on and show, to the surprise of most children, a Frozen short, Frozen Fever, which left the audience not only pleased but also laughing loudly. My daughter summed it up best when she told me that the IMAX screen was the largest TV she’d ever seen and, honestly, the IMAX screen helped bring the truly amazing colors and scenery of the film to life.

I’ve never been a fan of the story of Cinderella as I have viewed her as weak and needing the help of a prince to validate her existence. However, I was pleased to take my daughter to this new version. Director Kenneth Branagh has crafted a princess we can all look up to as she is guided by courage and kindness. Cinderella specifically reminded us that courage comes in a lot of forms.

The portrayal of fathers in the film also pleased me. The two main fathers, Cinderella’s and the Prince’s, were both thoughtful, loving men who raised their children to be equally kind and respectful. What a wonderful message, and it was so refreshing to see a film depict a loving relationship between a child and her parents.

All attendees left full, appreciative and happy, due in large part to the movie’s happy ending. (Sorry for the spoiler.) Thanks to IMAX and Disney for making this wonderful NYC Dads Group event happen.

NOTE: This was a sponsored event that the author and our City Dads Group members attended for free. This opinions expressed here are solely those of the author.

The entire world has seen the uber-popular Disney film, Frozen. At least a dozen times. And relished in every moment of it. Not surprising, Disney found an intelligent way to capitalize on the excitement and momentum to bring us their latest creation, Disney on Ice: FROZEN presented by yoKids.

By now, our children have seen the commercials or billboards for the Disney on Ice Show and told their parents that “they have to see it.” Parents are faced with a simple question. Is Disney on Ice: Frozen worth the money? 

I’m here to provide you with three reasons why Disney On Ice: Frozen is worth your investment of time and money … and one reason why it’s not.

1. Disney on Ice: Frozen story exactly the same as the movie. 

My son had seen the film at least a half-dozen times and was familiar with the story and all of its songs. So were my wife and I. After all, that’s what made us fall in love with the movie. The question lurked in our minds. How would the show be similar or different than the movie? Spoiler alert: It’s exactly the same!  

2. Disney on Ice is as good as a Broadway Show.  

The story is exactly the same as the movie, but this was a LIVE performance and it was done beautifully. Our family felt transported to the magical land of Arendelle! It was literally snowing in the Barclay’s arena, as we sat mesmerized by the skating wizardry, wonderful costumes, and special effects.

And finally, there’s the award-winning music that captivated us. Watching 16,000 parents and children dancing at their seats and singing “Let It Go” and “Do You Want To Build a Snowman” (completely out of tune) was absolutely amusing. We sang, we danced, and were inspired all over again like the first time our family watched the movie.

3. Building family memories.

Growing up, my parents used to immerse me in culture — taking me to museums, Broadway shows, and Walt Disney’s World on Ice. My wife and I love watching the world through our son’s eyes and sharing things with him that we loved during our childhood. We’re fortunate to live in New York City, a place that offers an endless range of cultural opportunities. Disney on Ice: Frozen is the third Disney on Ice show we’ve had the pleasure of seeing together. It’s become an annual family tradition for us to attend each year.  This performance gave us the opportunity to turn-off real life, tap into our inner child, and have a family experience that we’ll be talking about for a long time. Basically, finding our DisneySide. Don’t we deserve that sometimes? 

Bottom line: Disney on Ice: Frozen is the best of their ice shows we’ve ever seen and definitely worth seeing it. Even to see all of the children in the audience (and some parents) wearing Anna, Elsa, and Olaf costumes.

… and one thing that was disappointing to me …

The concessions were overpriced.

Like me, most parents taking their children to Disney on Ice plan to spoil their children for a few hours — shelling out money for tickets for the entire family, transportation and parking fees, food concessions, and toy trinkets. Disney delivered big-time with a magical experience on the ice, but I was disappointed with the sting on my wallet as I hit the concession stands. 

Before we arrived, we promised our son popcorn, cotton candy, and ice cream.  It’s fair to say that it was a more expensive promise than we anticipated.  Be warned: Popcorn in a Disney Pouch: $12 (ask for the box of popcorn which is less expensive), cotton candy with cute Olaf mask: $13, and Olaf snow-cones: $16 (we persuaded our son to go with Barclay’s Center ice cream which was $7).  

**Disclosure Note: NYC Dads Group received complimentary tickets to see Disney on Ice presents Frozen. The opinions expressed in this post are my own and have not been influenced by receiving the tickets.

Tuesday was one of those days. My smile was a facade. It was there, but wasn’t as wide, bright or authentic, as it usually is. At one point, my daughter even asked me why I wasn’t goofing around as much as I usually do.

I was grumpy. I had a bad case of the grown-ups.

I’m not going to trouble you with the details, partially because I’m not sure what the particulars were, but I was stressed and fixated on things both in and out of my control. And at one point, I started stressing about what life wasn’t, instead of enjoying what life was.

My niece theorizes that your favorite Disney movie says a lot about you. I think she is right. My favorite is Peter Pan. My mother impressed upon me at an early age to not be in a hurry to grow up because once you are grown up – you’re grown up for good.

Well, on Tuesday I had at least one foot out of Neverland. And it was crushing me.

After my daughter made her statement she went back to playing. She arranged the hose to spray into the trampoline in which she was jumping. There were shrieks of sheer laughter mixed with joy.

Meanwhile, I was knee-deep in grown-up guilt and self-loathing, but a part of my brain clicked and realized what part of my problem was. I wasn’t enjoying the moments that I should have.

I strongly believe that one of the most important qualities in a person is the kid inside of him. That kid asks the hard questions, is driven by curiosity, enjoys adventure, and sees the small rays of sunshine even on cloudy days. Now I’m not saying that kid should rule to roost, but he is an important element. One should always have at least one foot in Neverland at all times.

I’d like to say that I shook the grumps right then and there and a rainbow grew out of the ground and we had a Hallmark moment. That didn’t happen.

There was a Hallmark moment, but it was quiet and personal. My kids didn’t even know that it was happening. But I have a mental picture of them jumping on the trampoline. That’s the cover of the card. Two siblings soaking in all the joy of a summer day.

The tagline of the card? Simple:

Never leave Neverland.

A version of this post first appeared on Balcony Dads.