From Christmas lights to Christmas trees, from Santa and his reindeer to that (damn) Elf on the Shelf, December is synonymous with one holiday – Christmas. And, as much as I love to get into the Christmas spirit with my kids, I find that I know nothing about the other holidays that are happening around us without much less fanfare: Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

If I know zero about Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, my kids will know even less. That changes this holiday season! This year I plan to add some inclusiveness, diversity, and sensitivity to our traditional red and green holiday cheer. 

How might I explain the basics of Hanukkah and Kwanzaa to my children? With a parody of a Christmas classic, of course –

Shine Your Light

‘Twas the weeks before Christmas,

And all over town,

Kids made wish lists,

Red and green lights and decor all around.

My friend, Ashley, she’s Jewish,

She does different stuff,

She tells me her menorahs are cool,

A “Festival of Lights,” to me, is interesting enough. 

Hanukkah lasts for eight days,

Is the Hebrew word for rededication,

Lit candles from the December 18^th through 26^th,

Makes quite a marvelous window decoration. 

During Hanukkah, Ashley spins a dreidel,

To me, it looks like a top,

Saying “nun,” “gimmel,” “hei,” or “shin”,

She gets a gift when her’s finally stops. 

Christmas and Hanukkah are both coming soon?

I’m excited to add more celebrations to December,

I’ll wish Ashley “Happy Hanukkah,”

The week before Christmas if I remember.

“There is another holiday,”

Said my friend, Jenna, “this time of year,”

“It’s called Kwanzaa,

Right after Santa leaves with his flying reindeer.”

“Kwanzaa starts on the 26^th,

It’s a celebration of community,

Bedded in seven guiding principles,

That, until last year, were all new to me.”

Umoja is “Unity,”

Kujichagulia is “Self-Determination,”

Ujima is “Responsibility,”

These principles are better than a new game on PlayStation!

Ujamaa is “Collective Economics,”

Nia means “Purpose,”

Kuumba is “Creativity,”

Imani is “Faith” and that’s all seven, Jenna’s certain. 

On day six of Kwanzaa Jenna even says,

It’s time to feast,

And after celebrating Hanukkah, Christmas, and this,

I may be the size of Disney’s Beast!

I thank Jenna and Ashley,

They have me here thinking,

There is more to December,

Than gift wrapping and Christmas carol singing.

So many of us celebrate differently,

In our own kind of way,

Whether Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, or all,

The feeling of joy and gratitude is the same.

So, to my friends in December,

As I wave them goodbye,

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas,

Blessed Kwanzaa.

Good night.

Whether on a tree or a menorah,

Do our community a favor,

My friends,

And shine your light. 

+ + +

Maybe, after all, learning the basics of these other December holidays will allow my kids to better understand what the Christmas season is all about – collective good, family, and celebrating all the differences that make each of us, ourselves.  And, let’s be honest, aren’t those better lessons for our kids to understand than how the Elf on the Shelf made snow angels in the sugar?

Photo: © Ana / Adobe Stock.

No matter what you believe, or choose not to believe, you are welcome in our home. That is the example we will set for our son.
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Some people complain about the phrase “Happy Holidays.” Why not just say “Merry Christmas,” right? While we can’t speak for everyone, here’s why my family says “Happy Holidays.”

If you look up at our window, you will see a menorah, and just past that, a Christmas tree. I grew up Catholic and my wife grew up Jewish. Both religions formed who we are today. And even though we are now both atheists, neither of us sees any reason to exclude or disrespect the traditions and beliefs of our families. We have both experienced too much joy throughout our lives from these belief systems not to do so. And our son deserves these same joys.

Outside of our window, the world is in turmoil. In just one day, we have seen the assassination of a diplomat in Turkey; a horrifying mass murder using a truck in Germany, for which credit has been claimed by extremist zealots; and a mass shooting at a mosque in Zurich. All of this happened while America’s Electoral College confirmed the presidency of a man who lost the popular vote after running on a platform heavily trading on fear-mongering, hatred and bigotry.

We will not have this in our home. We will choose peace. We will choose joy. No matter what you believe, or choose not to believe, you are welcome in our home. That is the example we will set for our son.

He will benefit from both holidays. He will spin the dreidel and he will decorate a tree. He will know the rituals of Hanukkah and will sing about Santa Claus. He will have the best of both of our worlds, and that includes the holidays of this season.

Which right now he loves, by the way, because of all the presents!

But will he be Christian? Jewish? Will he be an atheist? Maybe he’ll be something else altogether. We can’t say right now. It is his choice. If we are to be good parents, we must present him with all the options for his own life. The path he decides to travel will be his own. Both of us will be happy to guide him no matter how he chooses to live his life.

My wife and I fell in love both because of, and in spite of, the differing belief systems we were raised in. What we’ve discovered is that the difference between right and wrong, between good and evil, the essential morality of humanity, is the same across all religions.

Need a baseline? Sure. If you’re hurting people because of your religion, you are doing your religion wrong. If you’re hurting people because of their religion, you are doing morality wrong as well, and that applies whether you are religious or not.

Everything else — how you choose to worship, how you choose not to worship — is all up to you. Just don’t hurt anyone. And no matter what religion you do or do not worship, this is a season for joy.

So. We say “Happy Holidays,” and it is in no way an insult. Wishing you joy cannot be offensive.

“Merry Christmas” leaves out half of my family. “Happy Hanukkah” leaves out the other half. “Happy Holidays” includes them all. It means Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. It means, “I wish you joy, no matter who you are and what you believe.”

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Happy Chanukah. We wish you a Joyous Kwanzaa, and we say “Serenity Now” as we air our grievances at the Festivus for the Rest of Us. But most of all, we wish you “Happy Holidays.”

We wish you joy. Because wishing people joy is what the holiday season is actually all about.

All photos: Chad R. MacDonald

This morning was our NYC Dads Group’s 2nd annual holiday party extravaganza.  Well, maybe “extravaganza” is a bit much – no streamers, decorations, clowns, music, free swag bags (although it would be gladly appreciated) … come on, we are just a bunch of regular dads who care more about getting together for conversation and socialization than anything else.

Our holiday party was more about the camaraderie – 16 dads trekking from all parts of NYC (and NJ) on this frigid day to spend the morning together at a member’s indoor playspace.  Rich & Sean were awesome hosts.  Picture dads hanging out with their kids & sitting around on the floor of a playroom.  Having meaningful conversations ranging from pre-schools, children’s progress, fantasy football, the Knicks loss to the Celts, holiday plans, ski trips, anxiety of going back to work after being an at-home dad, moving to a new city, ideas for future activities, welcoming some first time members, and soaking in the relaxed environment that made our job of being involved parents this morning so much fun!

Communities of mothers have probably done stuff like this for decades – relaxed indoor playdates.  For fathers, this is probably newer territory, but we are fools if we dont seek out opportunities to make it happen more frequently.  Our dads’ group (with our kids) spend so much time together engaging in music, movement, art, gym, and sports classes, that sometimes it is nice to shed the structured activity and dive into self-exploration in a large and safe playroom with endless possibilities.  For example, there were blocks, mini-kitchens, cars, trains, books, etc.  However, my son found it more entertaining to open and close the door to the playroom 250 times or constantly listen to the “clank” as he bounced the foosball on the marble floor to be the most exciting – so be it.  He had such a blast running around after his little toddler and baby friends that he is napping like a champ as I get to recount the wondrous moments of this morning’s dad gathering.

Dads baked cookies and cupcakes, brought bagels and rolls, and mostly everyone participated in a book exchange.  Basically, you bring a children’s book (preferably one of the favorites of your child) and exchange it with another father.  I left the holiday playdate inspired to be a member of such a wonderful group.  The group is a resource for me – a social outlet, a source of information, a safe place to bounce off parenting ideas or frustrations – it assists and supports me to be a better dad!  Thanks, NYC Dads Group!