Stop calling my wife, dammit.

Not you, weird dude from work. I’m talking to YOU, doctor’s office. The one who has been told multiple times that if you want to speak to a parent, try dad first.

My son has been through several rounds of examination and treatment with this doctor. My wife has never even spoken to him. For work reasons, she couldn’t make the parental consult meeting. She doesn’t go to these meetings because it is MY JOB.

The next appointment is in two days. And then I get the fateful text from the wife:

“Stupid doctor left me a VM again.” (I paraphrased for cleanliness.)

Listen, this isn’t even about making our lives easier. If you, a medical professional, want to help our children, you need to reach the primary caregiver. Not the working-her-ass-off, leaning-in, awesome-but-busy mom.

At least you aren’t alone. The school nurse still calls my wife, even after five years and two children. This is even though my name appears first on the contact card. I’ve even put an arrow to my number, reading “call dad first.” Still, every once in a while, I’ll get my wife’s “Did they call you instead yet” text. That means if the nurse doesn’t call me soon, I better call her.

The school office has finally learned. Of course, I think it took until I was elected PTA co-president for them to fully get it. The teachers, much to their credit, have understood from day one that this dad gets there a lot faster when there is a sick or paint-covered child. So there’s that.

I can’t imagine how they handle same-sex couples. If there are two dads, does no one get a call? If it’s lesbians, does it force the office assistant into some kind of Linda-Blair-esque, spinning perpetual-motion head spin, trying to decide which mom to call? Perhaps that’s our world’s solution for renewable energy.

Listen: In the grand scheme of things, this is clearly a First-World issue. And it’s not even the biggest one at that. But here’s what this assumption does: It reinforces the incorrect paradigm that men are unable to handle their children’s care and the unfortunate sociological expectation that women can – and will – drop everything in their lives for their kids. This hurts all men and all women.

If we want to live in a world where everyone contributes to their family and society as they see fit, we need to start respecting that, for the most part, almost any task can be done by anyone regardless of the contents of their pants.

Oh, and if you’re the medical professional that provoked the writing of this column and you figure it out, you can win a prize. Just call my children’s NEW primary caregiver.

About the author

Josh Kross is an at-home dad to his three kids. He is the former engineer and producer of The Modern Dads Podcast. He also produced the critically acclaimed Hip-Hop podcast, The Cipher (theciphershow.com).

This blog post, first published in 2014 for the NYC Dads Group blog and since updated, is part of the #NoDadAlone campaign. Fathering Together/City Dads Group, the National At-Home Dad Network, and Fathers Eve are joining forces to amplify messages that help dads recognize we are not alone! Follow #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and learn more at NoDadAlone.com. Photo by Moose Photos from Pexels.

Starting school was difficult for our family last year. Every morning for the first month my son Jake would seemingly break down when he got to the classroom, begging me not to leave. It broke my heart.

His teachers finally approached me and suggested he might do better if he had a consistent school-morning routine. At the time, we didn’t have one. Getting him ready for school was chaotic. So I developed a plan. He would wake up and go potty then have breakfast, get dressed and watch TV for a bit while we waited to walk out the door. Surely it would work.

It did for a while. Soon it turned back into chaos. Unfortunately, as a person with Tourette syndrome, I easily get frustrated. When facing an unexpected challenge, I can go from peaceful to rage in 2.4 seconds. And as always, frustration at home translated to a hard day at school for my son. I worried.

Finally, my wife reminded me of the unique connection I share with my son. We feed off each other’s moods. If I push, he pushes harder. If I were to loosen up and not be so rigid with his school morning routine, things might change for the better. Remain firm, yet flexible.

She was right. When I loosened the reins I found mornings became easier. When my son insisted on watching TV instead of getting dressed and having breakfast, I struck a bargain with him. Instead of forcing him into his room to get dressed before TV time, he could watch TV if he cooperates and gets dressed at the same time.

It also helped me to enter the school morning routine aware that he is not even yet 4 years old. It’s his job to push my buttons and I have to make sure he doesn’t get me riled up. His day at school depends on mornings with me being calm and peaceful. Now I know. And knowing is half the battle.

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This blog post is part of the #NoDadAlone campaign. Fathering Together/City Dads Group, the National At-Home Dad Network, and Fathers Eve are joining forces to amplify messages that help dads recognize we are not alone! Follow #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and learn more at NoDadAlone.com.

Photo: © Sidekick / Adobe Stock. This post first appeared on the NYC Dads Group blog in 2014.

A teachable moment for children doesn’t always come along on the drive to school. However, emergencies present themselves when you least expect them. It’s how I taught my kids about getting help by calling 911.

It was a good morning. We had plenty of time to get to school. We were about six blocks away and then … I drove by a man, sitting in the street, a hysterical woman by his side.

I looked at the time and pulled over. I turned on my hazards and walked over to the man. He had just been hit by a car, and the woman was the driver. I assessed the situation, asked him several important questions before I called 911.

The man was in good spirits even though I think his arm was broken. The driver, on the other hand, was having a full-on panic attack. She had gone back into her car, and I tried to comfort her while having her teenage daughter, who had been in her car with her, stand guard to make sure the man didn’t fall or get hit by another car.

Soon a fire engine arrived and I told the crew that it should send someone to look at the driver since she was in pretty bad shape. I wished the man good luck and headed off to school.

I told my kids what I did, and that the man was OK and safe now. The underlying lesson was this: If someone needs your help and you can provide that help, you should.

And then I explained to them what 911 is and how it works.

And we still got to school before the doors closed.

When should your child call 911?

Teach your child to call 911 when police, fire and/or medical personnel are needed quickly because of an emergency or immediate danger or threat. Remember that it is always “9-1-1” not “9-11” so younger children unfamiliar with making calls don’t look for an 11 button.

Your child should call 911 in case of emergencies, such as:

• a fire that’s out of control
• a crime, such as a break-in, mugging or shooting
• a serious car accident
• someone is seriously hurt, bleeding or unconscious
• someone choking or having trouble breathing

Reassure your children that the 911 operator and emergency personnel he or she sends are the “good guys.” They are trained to ask important questions and gather information as well as calm, reassure and instruct the caller. Children should try to be cool, clear and concise as possible when talking to them.

Questions 911 will often ask in emergencies

• What is your emergency?
• Where are you calling from (town, county, address, cross streets)?
• Is the victim male or female?
• What is the victim’s age?
• Is the victim breathing?
• Is there any bleeding?
• Is the person responsive (awake/alert) or unconscious?
• What is your phone number? (Needed so 911 can call back if you get disconnected.)

Photo by Ash H via Pexels.

Kids are back at school soon, and – duh – they all need brain-dead stuff like a backpack, notebooks and pencils. But my kid is special, see. My kid is a snowflake. He’s got pencils, but he needs pizzazz.

So naturally, I’ve compiled a list of the top five things (there are more, dudes, but … attention span) my special little snowflake needs for back-to-school time. Your kid probably doesn’t need them because I’ve seen your kid. He’s OK, but he’s all boogery. I can tell from the look in his eye that he’s not a go-getter. You want a go-getter? Dude, you can’t handle a go-getter if you even hesitated to answer for a fraction of a second. This list isn’t for you, Mr. Mediocre.

My one-of-a-kind bag of awesome isn’t settling for the middle road. So here’s just some of the stuff I’ve got on his back-to-school wish list:

Back-to-School Need 1. Kid Uber / Kid Lyft

Because, bro, I’ve got my own awesome adventures to be on. I can’t be bothered to drive him to school AND pick him up. That’s an EVERY. DAY. THING. if you know me, you know I have a religious exemption from doing the same thing twice a week. My life is exciting, dynamic, Instagrammable and Pinteresting. Now, it’ll be weird for a different person to pick him up every day, but I’ve kicked down a couple of extra credits to make sure they have a sign with his name on it. That way, his school will be all “oh, that’s first-class right there.” S**t, yeah, it is. Thanks for noticing.

Need 2. A Kindergarten Registry

College dorm registries are a thing. And that’s cool, but it’s getting into registering too late in the game. I’ve been pounding pavement this week trying to get retailers to give me a kindergarten registry hub. There, my son can poke around their fine virtual establishments and add items without me standing next to him in a big-box retailer asking “How about THIS backpack? How about THIS one?” And dude, like I want to discuss with my son whether his favorite color this week is red or black or green. And shoes? Get out of here.

I’d rather let the kid just register for his supplies, and let grandma and grandpa take it up with Target and Amazon directly. Since my son can’t technically read, I’m going to have to ask the teacher to make the back-to-school supplies list all pictures. Just use clip art and sight words in Comic Sans if you have to. And email it to him directly, please and thanks.

Back-to-School Need 3. A Completely Digital Ink Education

Look, maybe you want your kids (and spoiler alert, you do) to trudge to yesteryear’s drum writing in notebooks, finger-painting and looking at globes, but not me. Honestly, finger-painting? Your kid comes home with some amateur rendition of a shark (and paint on his shirt) and you’ve got to keep it on the fridge until he comes home with another terrible rendition of something else. Give us all a break. Save it to your Camera Roll and let that be that. No more Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper and 22 Pee-Chee folders rotting away in a backpack. No more pencil lead, crayon wax, paints and markers all over him. My son’s soft, immaculately porcelain skin should not be defiled with such sloppy “art.”

And notebooks? You’re going to make my child write something on a non-indexable, non-searchable, non-categorizable, non-editable sheet of paper? And then what? Go searching for the information later by flipping through pages? Nope. Do you know what’s indexable, searchable and forward-thinking? Tablets. I don’t even care if it’s an iPad or a Microsoft Surface or a Samsung Galaxy Tab. Just give my kid an app into which he can dictate notes, another app for art, and another to see real-time maps of the world with traffic, weather conditions and polar vortex overlays available.

Globes? Are you serious? Don’t waste my time and I won’t waste yours.

Need 4. A Domain

You (and you and you) clearly want your kids to grow up without an identity. Or worse, you want their identity to be mystupidkid2023, because that’s the last email name that’s going to be available when you finally come around. But not my son. Oh, no. I want him domained-up right now. I want school emails going to it. Tuition stuff should be going there. He should be managing his financial and socio-online reputation NOW so that when he’s a teenager, he won’t be worrying about starting from scratch – or worse, from whatever boner legacy I’ve left him. Terrible.

My son needs a domain, a Stackable newsletter, and a few accounts on social platforms, and he needs it now. Your kids are busy doing the hokey-pokey and turning themselves around, and my son’s surging ahead of the pack polishing off his curriculum vitae complete with an email address hailing from his own domain. God, your kids look like rookies. Honestly, it’s embarrassing.

Back-to-School Need 5. Online Major University-Accredited Kindergarten Courses

It’s the first week of being back to school and my son is already over your kids. Like, for real. Their problems are so petty. Joey’s got nut allergies. Jon can’t use scissors. Melinda has a weak bladder. Ugh. It’s s**t like this that slows down the educational process. So let’s step it up here and offer some major university-accredited kindergarten courses.

If my son’s got to learn how to tell time, you’d better believe I want that applied to his hard sciences general education requirements. And ain’t nobody handwriting anymore, so if he’s got to learn how to do it, he’d better be getting his official transfer-ready propers. And look, instead of dealing with Joey, Jon and Melinda, my son would rather just check in with the kindergarten teacher’s office hours once a week and do courses from his home office. Nothing personal. Actually, it is.

Editor’s Note: A version of this first appeared on 8 Bit Dad. Photo: © chas53 / Adobe Stock.

Weddings, births, deaths, graduations, new jobs. All momentous events worthy of celebrating. These major life transitions either mark the beginning or end of an era.

However, many milestones pass largely unremarked. Time doesn’t pause and say, “Hey, pay attention! This isn’t going to happen again!” There are no warnings like, “Yo! Only three more weeks left of this!”

For example, it could be a job we had with awesome co-workers that we didn’t realize how awesome they were until someone moved on. Maybe we were on a team on which we didn’t realize how well all the players had bonded until a few dropped off and new ones came on board. Perhaps, it’s a regular pickup basketball with friends that suddenly stops comes together.

These moments we didn’t see coming to an end can hit you strangely after you realize they have passed. However, I see one on my horizon.

It will be the day I’m no longer able to take my kid everywhere with me.

From flexible work to a ‘normal’ 9-to-5

For six years as our family’s primary caregiver, I’ve had my son with me: in the backseat, in my arms, on my shoulders, holding his hand everywhere.

He’s been with me to several hundred home showings for my real estate job, which allows me flexibility in work hours. He’s been to well over 100 closing appointments in his short lifetime. That kid has put in probably a couple thousand hours at my offices.

Then, of course, there’s the many visits to parks, museums, libraries and grocery stores we’ve shared as well as all those smoothie lunches.

Enter change.

My son goes from half-day kindergarten to full-day first grade in the fall. I’m looking at getting a “normal” 9-to-5 job when this happens.

I’m just going to be a regular Joe. Dropping my kid off at school, going to work, going home. He’s going to be just a regular kid, going to school, going home.

What I’m losing in this deal is my sidekick and my “freedom.” Losing my somewhat special status as an at-home dad.

Gone will be our lazy mornings of French toast at 10 a.m. No more smoothie lunches after the library or park. No more spontaneous trips to matinees to watch the latest kids’ movie. So long, spontaneous camping trips. No more optional bed times because now we both have some place to be in the morning.

Paradise lost.

Sometimes, life transitions to the better

I say this now. I’ve had my doubts over the past six years. There have been many moments when I’ve felt weighed down being the primary caretaker. Ego and envy has sometimes gotten the better of me. My natural desire to always be a provider for my family has battled with my full-time responsibilities for my son’s well-being. Career ambitions curtailed, recognition delayed.

Of course, I’m only looking at the negative.

There’s an exciting adventure ahead for both of us. My son’s going to learn a whole lot of things, and meet new friends. With him at school during the day, I can change my work hours so I don’t have to have so many showings and listing appointments on nights and weekends. This will give us more distraction-free time together.

This next phase, it’s going to be absolutely fantastic. Though I felt I had to take some time to observe and mourn the end of this part of my life, in hindsight, they were some of my best years. I just didn’t fully recognize it while I was living them.

Life transitions photo: © peterschreiber.media / Adobe Stock.

It would be easy for me to say, “Kids these days! They have it so much easier than we did growing up.” And, boy would I be wrong.

It is true that kids today can watch any show they want instantly and repeatedly while we had to wait all week to see our favorites. Assuming mom and dad would let us have control of the one TV in the house. Today’s kids have access to seemingly every song ever recorded at their fingertips while we had to sit by the radio until our favorite songs in the hope they came on so we could record them onto cassette.

When it comes to school, though, things are tougher now than ever before.

Take report cards, for example. Remember when report cards were handwritten by your teacher? It was almost too easy to change a D to a B. If you were really bold you could even change that F to an A. (I never did anything like that. Honest. But it could be done.)

Schools also sent those report cards home with kids. If you didn’t want to show your report card to your parents, you didn’t have to. Or at least you could choose the best time to give it to them. Let’s say you didn’t want to be grounded for the weekend. You could hide your report card in your backpack all weekend and leave it on the table as you headed out the door to school Monday morning. Proper timing was essential. My daughter’s report card arrives by email. She has no chance of getting her hands on it before I do.

Kids today can’t simply brush off an assignment by telling their parents they didn’t have homework that night either. Now assignments are posted online, for kids and parents to see.

Also, for better or worse, parents can email teachers 24 hours a day. Parents can also check their kids’ grades online every month, week or day if they choose. Big Mother and Father are constantly watching!

So next time you think today’s kids have it easy, just remember we didn’t have it quite so bad at least when it came to our grades.

A version of this first appeared on Indy’s Child. Books photo by PixaBay from Pexels; report cards photo by Kevin McKeever.

A bright pink stack of stapled papers caught my eye as my son, Lynden, unloaded his school bag. He smiled as I read the perfectly preserved note, announcing the school trip:

“This year 8^th graders have the opportunity to attend Gradventure at Universal Studios in Orlando. The cost will be $148 … Money will be collected in the cafeteria next week or until sold out. Tickets are on a first come first serve basis and they are limited to the number of spots. There are NO REFUNDS for this event.”

You could imagine Lynden’s wide grin. He excitedly burst out, “I can’t wait! Universal Studios with just my friends until 2 a.m.! That’s SICK!”   

As you’d expect, I was pleased for him, too, and started to write the check. As I handed it over, though, I began to imagine: What if I didn’t have the money to send him on this school trip? 

I imagine my options would be scarce. 

Option #1: Wait on the charity of others

I could check with the school for the availability of sponsorships. I would undoubtedly be told we would be placed on a waiting list for less-fortunate families whose way would be paid for by other parents who contributed to help out. The risk, of course, is that given the limit of available tickets for this school trip, attending from the waiting list would be a long shot. 

Option #2: Put off a bill

I might figure out a way to delay another financial obligation. But, let’s face it, that will be tough given the few days’ notice I’d been given to come up with the cash. I may not even get my next paycheck until after the deadline. 

Option #3: Ask others for financial help

I could ask the grandparents or close friends to help, promising them repayment when our financial well-being stabilized. In doing so, I’d have good intentions but possibly no clue how to promptly repay their generosity. 

Or, gasp:   

Option #4: Sorry, kid

I could simply tell my child we can’t afford this school trip. While not surprised, he’d be shattered. I’d apologize for his having to endure hearing the excitement in the voices of his friends for the next two months as they plan their Universal visit. I would shed tears over the idea that, even at a subsidized price, my middle-school graduate would be left watching a movie with the other “poor kids” in the guidance counselor’s office that day. I’d feel the embarrassment for him (and myself) about not being able to provide like other families. I’d hear him make excuses for skipping the trip like: “I don’t want to go” or “The rides are too scary anyway.” 

Yeah, I can only imagine.  

And, then again, I really can’t.

Grateful, embarrassed at same time

Poverty may not often enter discussions in our homes, but it silently surrounds our neighborhoods. In our school district in suburban Tampa, Florida, the rates of free and reduced lunch subsidies hover between 20% and 35%. If nearly one-third of local families cannot afford $15 per week for lunch, they sure as hell cannot send in a $148 check on three-days notice.

While solving poverty in our communities is a broad issue, the idea that school systems are inadvertently ostracizing (and ultimately excluding) poor kids is unacceptable. This problem does not pop up only for fancy school trips. What about:

• The massive school supply lists at the beginning of the year?          
• Schools charging students admission to attend school functions like sporting events and dances? 
• Even if schools provide students with free computers to take home, what about the cost for high-speed internet at home?
• The cell phone plan required for parents to download apps to stay abreast of our kids’ assignments, tests and grades? 

Often there are options to help. Typically, though, these solutions involve a burden of time, access or bureaucratic procedures that families cannot bear or may not know about altogether.

Poverty, in any context, is sad. When applied to school-aged kids, though, it is heartbreaking and shameful. As an active parent seeing these inequities, I should make my voice heard and help in any way I can. I wish I could donate a huge sum that allows for all to attend, free of the financial hardship doing so might provide. But I can’t.    

Instead, I write my check quietly.

Certainly, this is a happy silence as I hand the school trip money over to my joyful son — a far different situation than his less privileged classmates sitting in anguish after reading that same, bright pink paper.

Photo: © Sidekick / Adobe Stock.

“No screens on school nights.”

It’s the newest rule around our house. Before you think I turned into the sinister dad who banned dancing in Footloose, hear me out.

Screen time isn’t evil; it just needs to be used in moderation.

Our family started out allowing two 15-minute sessions of screen time per day. All was well. It became a problem when those 15 minutes turned into 30 minutes, then 45 minutes or longer. Our kids were coming home from school and quickly arguing who was getting what screen. They would also spend far too much time playing Minecraft or watching kids play with toys on YouTube. (Why kids would prefer to watch someone play with a toy rather than actually play with a toy themselves is beyond me).

Our kids weren’t interacting with each other or with me or my wife. They weren’t burning off any extra physical energy that didn’t get out of their system during their 15-minute recess (yes, 15-minute recess.) They were restless at bedtime, whined when we told them to get off their screens and whined again asking when they could get back on their screens.

It wasn’t working out.

Limiting screen time didn’t really help and eliminating screens altogether seemed a little unnecessary. My wife and I devised a new plan: “No Screens on School Nights.”

In the two months since we started this new approach, it’s worked really well for our family. The kids play together more. They are more creative, less whiny and go to bed easier at night — likely because they’ve exhausted themselves with physical play and they haven’t been staring at the blue light of a screen for an hour right before bed. On the weekends, we go back to giving them tokens to use for 15 minutes of screen time at a shot. Since our kids aren’t on screens during the week, we don’t feel bad if we let them stay on their devices a little longer on these days.

This system may not be for everyone. However, if you’re frustrated with your own kids’ relationship with whatever screen they choose, a “No Screens on School Nights” policy may be something to consider for your family too.

A version of this first appeared on Indy’s Child.

Screen time photo: © Africa Studio / Adobe Stock.

Every child learns math in their own way, but which is best?

Many children write down every word the teacher says. Some scribble sketches conveying the same information. Others gaze out the window, processing the lesson while in what appears to be a daydream. Children have different learning methods, but one style isn’t more effective than the other. The secret to maximizing their preferred method: participate in active learning.

Children can prefer visual learning, auditory learning or tactile learning. It depends on what excites their brain and memory most. Regardless of which style best suits an individual, participating in active learning helps children retain information for the future.

Before we can teach these strategies for mathematics, we need to investigate the concept of active learning. What is it, how do you use it, and why is it effective?

What is active learning?

Active learning is a time-tested, trusted method that helps students of all ages absorb information more effectively than passive listening. Although many of us think we are active listeners and learners, you might be surprised to discover how passive listening habits can get in the way of our memory and retention abilities.

Active learning is the concept of students being involved in the teaching process during class. This can be through question-and-answer sessions, relevant activities, group work and class discussions. Studies show this helps stimulate students’ brains and thought processes. It also reinforces understanding of more difficult mathematics course material.

Some examples of active learning in math class involve:

• addition and subtraction games, and calculus challenges
• peer-instruction groups
• grading peers’ mathematics quizzes
• team assignments
• bonuses for hands-on problem-solving on extra credit assignments.

Using active learning techniques is a proven method for academic benefits. It also receives positive feedback from students. Teachers who practice such techniques make the lessons more engaging by:

• dividing students into groups for collaborative work
• guiding students through tough concepts
• allowing for each individual to complete their respective worksheets

The combination of different approaches to the same lesson helps students interpret the information in multiple ways. This reinforces itself in the memory.

After discussing a topic in mathematics with your student, consider using an active teaching strategy. This could be a worksheet, interactive and math-based game, or team project to stimulate collaboration and sharing of information. Several more examples are listed at the end of this article.

By combining “traditional” teaching methods with interactive practices, teachers help keep students focused and interested in the task at hand. Studies show active learning leads to more consistent grades, higher average test scores, greater class participation, and increased classroom focus.

So why isn’t everybody teaching this way?

Simply put, it requires more work. Teaching active learning requires educators to develop a dynamic set of activities for every lesson. Likewise, students need to work hard to engage with all the activities taught in a typical lesson. Instead of passively listening to a lecture, when information can go in one ear and out the other, active learning participation takes more energy.

It also takes more energy to tune out distractions. Getting rid of distractions, such as online computer games, phones, friends sitting nearby and other assignments can be tough. Students today are masters at multitasking, but that can be detrimental for the learning experience. Multitasking can take away from comprehension because students who divide their focus can easily tune out the lesson –– even if it is taught actively.

Teachers and parents need to understand how their extra effort to activate lessons can make a monumental impact on student success. Not only will it spur better test scores and class participation, but can it help students ignore distractions and refocus on what matters during class time.

If your child is unable to concentrate in class, even if the Albert Einstein of active learning were their teacher, consider hiring a math tutor. One-on-one lessons help students stay focused, understand tough concepts, and feel confident during school. Plus, they can cater active learning techniques specific to your child’s interests for the best learning experience possible.

Five active learning games to try

Word-Exercise Association

If you want your children or students to move their bodies while they study, this is a great game. For each word or concept your student needs to remember for the lesson, create an exercise to match it. These exercises could be a workout like pushups or jumping jacks. Or they could be small “Simon says” tasks like standing on one foot or snapping your fingers.

When students integrate information with a physical activity, they better remember the information come test time. You can quiz your child/student by performing one of the exercises and then asking them to recall the associated word and explain it.

Math Hopscotch

Similar to word-exercise association, this game gets the mind and body moving. Start by placing numbers and mathematical symbols on the ground into a hopscotch pattern. You could use a chalk drawing on the pavement or scattered printer paper on a carpeted floor. The space between numbers or symbols should be “jumping distance” apart from each other.

Ask your student to leap from one side of the hopscotch field to the other, alternating between numbers and mathematical symbols. Then, see if they can solve the path they took if it were rewritten as a math equation. Students who can make it across the field AND solve the equation earn points. Make it interesting by adding extra rules for landing on two numbers at once or making the equation longer.

Live Reactions

If your student has to watch video courses from home, live reactions can make the material more engaging. Leaving time-stamped comments on the video to share with the class is exciting because students can see how their classmates reacted to different parts of the video. This can spark discussion, answer questions, or help students bond over the material as they share similar reactions.

One way to make this fun is to integrate Live-Tweeting, reaction emojis or hashtags that students can pin onto the lesson as it’s being taught.

Cross the Line

Provide the classroom with a statement then have the students organize themselves depending on how much they agree or disagree with the statement. You can use lines on the ground to separate “strongly disagree,” “disagree,” “undecided,” “agree” and “strongly agree” sections of the classroom.

Students will be able to see where their classmates stand on a topic and a teacher can engage with them by asking individuals to defend their position. If the debate sways a student’s opinion, they can ‘cross the line’ to join a different group. The game ends when every student is confident in their opinion and does not want to move anymore. Then the teacher can pose a new statement to continue the game.

Deficient Discussion

Deficiency might sound like a bad thing, but this game turns it into a positive. When discussing a lesson with a student or group of students, add restrictions to the conversations such as “everyone has to speak in the form of a question, Jeopardy-style!” or “you aren’t allowed to use words that start with the same letter as your name!”

While these restrictions make classroom discussions a bit more difficult, they also make them way more fun. Students have to reconsider their thoughts a few times before speaking to make sure they stay in the game. This helps reorganize and reinterpret the lesson for better memory. To encourage students to participate in a deficient discussion game, you might offer incentives to the students who make the fewest mistakes.

About the author

Andy Earle is a researcher who studies parent-teen communication and adolescent risk behaviors. He is the co-founder of talkingtoteens.com and host of the Talking to Teens podcast, a free weekly talk show for parents of teenagers.

Photo: © Tom Wang / Adobe Stock.

I loved playing video games while growing up, but my dad was never into them. Instead, we would usually play board games like checkers or backgammon together. On occasion, when we would visit relatives in Queens, N.Y., we’d break out group games like Monopoly and Trouble. One fateful evening when I was around 10 or 11 years old, we played a very memorable round of the block tower building game, Jenga.

Jenga can be just as riveting to observe as it is to play: Watching others carefully choose the right or wrong block and edge toward a rousing victory or an embarrassing defeat that ends in a pile of rectangular-shaped rubble. During one game, my dad’s turn came up and there were not many moves he could make without the entire tower tumbling over. After about a minute of intense contemplation, he finally picked his block. He carefully removed it from the middle of the stack and placed it on the top of the tower, which swayed, but did not fall. Feeling victorious, he gave himself a high five (yes, that happened) and walked away to bask in his glory while the next player tempted fate on the wobbling structure. The problem was, my dad’s foot accidentally caught the leg of the table. He shook it just enough to knock the entire tower over, despite all the hard work he had put into making the right move. We all roared with laughter as he cried out at his premature celebration.

Why this childhood story? Well, if you have ever played Jenga, you know the setup can be the key to a good game. If you set up the blocks nicely and straight the game can go on for a very long time with proper moves and strategy. Set them up misaligned and unevenly, the tower will fall after only a few rounds. But no matter what you do, no matter how well you plan, you cannot prepare for a stray foot that takes down the tower.

With school starting or already in session during this COVID-19 pandemic, it feels like we are living out the worst game of Jenga.

Some of us live in areas going above and beyond to keep kids and teachers safe; others are in places doing the bare minimum and asking parents to just trust them. As parents, we need to be prepared for the foot that kicks the table no matter what method of schooling our children receive. Every day will bring new challenges and crises, and I believe we can do some essential things that will get us through this with our wits intact and our kids engaged and educated.

Be supportive

A key to surviving, mentally and physically, during this epidemic relies on supporting one another. Checking in with other parents and guardians regularly, even the parents who appear to be breezing through this experience — more than likely, they are struggling like you are. People are already worried about what option works best for their own situation, and once school is fully in session and parents are balancing remote learning and having a full-time job, their stress and anxiety levels will likely increase.

Be honest

This situation sucks for everyone. Parents and guardians are overwhelmed. Our kids are losing out on valuable education and the social interaction that is a key part of the learning process. However, I think the only way we get through this is by being honest and transparent with one another. If you need help, ask for it. If you see someone else needing help, offer it or suggest resources they might find helpful.

Be resourceful

The first few weeks into quarantine/lockdown, I realized my five years of being a stay-at-home dad gave me an advantage not all parents have. I did not have to balance working from home for an employer and getting my kids to sit through hours of Zoom video calls as others did. I already had experience teaching my kids basic lessons and doing fun activities to keep them occupied throughout the day. But as tough as this fall will be for all of us, this is really our second time going through it. That means many of us have developed a new set of skills that can help us this time around. We learned what works well with our kids and what doesn’t. If we learn from those successes and failures, this autumn will hopefully be less traumatic than spring.

Be a friend

If you know someone who needs access to WiFi, see if you can make yours available to them. Have a few extra math or grammar workbooks that might help a student understand their homework better? Offer them up! A small gesture can make a big difference and we can’t assume people have access to all the materials they need.

Be adaptable

Every day until this crisis is behind us, we will be presented with new challenges: changes in weather, the flu, and — unfortunately — more deaths of people we know and don’t know. We all need to try our best to be flexible and adaptable.  Schools are going to open, and many are going to close almost as quickly if students and teachers alike come back positive for coronavirus. It has already started to happen, and nothing about this virus indicates that will change anytime soon.

But just like in Jenga, with proper planning we can be prepared for the collapse we know is coming. We just have to learn from our mistakes and the moves we made so we can repair this fragile tower and rebuild it better than ever before. Even if a foot comes out of nowhere to rock our foundation, we will stand firm and strong and come out heartily laughing when this comes to an end and we neatly place the game back in the box.

Jenga photo: © makibestphoto / Adobe Stock.