While it is easy to be romantic on Valentine’s Day, it can be more challenging for moms and dads to stay intimate the other 360-something days of the year.

Face it, most of us became parents by enjoying the process of making babies, right? Now that the fun part is well behind us and we are left diapering, educating, shuttling and financing the results of that hard work (snicker), it’s sometimes difficult to find that loving feeling again.

So here’s four ways to stay intimate with your partner after all the chocolates in that heart-shaped box are gone today:

Start with having ‘The Talk‘

No, not that one with the kids. The one with your partner.

If sex is important to you in your relationship, then tell your partner. Find out where they stand on the subject. Learn what turns your partner on and, in return, they should know what turns you on. Discuss the obstacles — work, stress, exhaustion from kid care, a changing libido — that may be preventing each of you from finding the loving feeling more often. Understanding and respecting the needs, wants and desires of your partner is how everything should start and continue long after.

Keep romance alive with flirting

Once you have a better idea of what works and what doesn’t work you can start making things happen. A little flirting with your partner lets them know you are interested. Send them a text message, write a note on the bathroom mirror, or give the gentle touch on the arm or neck as you walk by – much easier in these days of working from home. It will make them feel wanted. It will remind them of how attracted they were to you early in your relationship, you know — before kid.

Find the time and schedule it

We’re all busy these days. Between work, shuttling the kids to their activities, and the few social things we still have going on, spontaneity is not as easy as it was when we were younger and had far fewer commitments. If you truly want to stay intimate with your partner, look at your schedules and block some time out just for the two of you. Then set yourself up for success. Remove all those obstacles to intimacy that you two have talked about — the kids’ presence, obviously; household tasks; your various screens, etc. This way, when the time comes you can give your partner all your focus.

Stay intimate without sex

When we start dating, intimacy was not sex. It was holding hands, cuddling, hugging, kissing, maybe giving your partner a foot rub or shoulder massage. While you may not always have the opportunity, let alone the time, for sex, you can work many of these other intimate times into your schedule, such as when you are sitting on the couch watching TV … even when the kids are present. Taking advantage of these opportunities helps prime the pump for more intimate adventures you might get caught up in later.

Stay intimate photo: ©Jirus / Adobe Stock.

My wife and I don’t have a perfect marriage, but one thing I think we do well is prioritize our time together. While we often take advantage of what living in New York City offers by going on the town, even on nights we stay home we choose to be together rather than retreat to separate corners of the house.

I’ve taken to naming this ritual, “Date Night Every Night.” It begins when the kids have gone to bed and we’ve finished all the kitchen cleaning, bill paying, permission slip signing and so on. After briefly catching up on what’s happened in our day, we are both ready to kick back with a glass of wine and our favorite TV show of the moment.

No (or at least not much) judgement for the couples who retreat to their own devices at the end of the day, but we have found plenty of good TV that fits in the overlapping area of our Venn diagram of tastes.

Here are some Netflix shows I think will be perfect for your Date Night Every Night.

To remember the single life

Master of None – “New Yorker Dev takes on such pillars of maturity as the first big job, a serious relationship, and busting sex offenders on the subway.” A fun look at what NYC life is like for the pre-kids millennial crowd that kinda makes me jealous, but mostly makes me happy to have settled down. Binge watch Season 1 because Season 2 premieres May 12. Aziz Ansari tweeted a preview:

Master of None Season 2 premieres May 12th on Netflix. pic.twitter.com/nqqogKPnrm

— Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) March 15, 2017

For the foodie couple

Chef’s Table – “Find out what’s inside the kitchens and minds of the international culinary stars who are redefining gourmet food.” This is one of the most beautifully produced shows I have ever seen made even better by the fact that we live in New York City and can go to some of the featured restaurants. Season 3 posted a few weeks ago with chefs ranging from Ivan Orkin of Ivan’s Ramen (headed there this weekend) to Buddhist nun Jeong Kwan.

For a good date night laugh

Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt – “When a woman is rescued from a doomsday cult and lands in New York City, she must navigate a world she didn’t think even existed anymore.” The premise is somewhat absurd, but everyone can relate to being a fish out of water, especially in NYC. Another one to binge watch before Season 3 launches on May 19.

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpiJGd8EL8M

That should keep you two busy on date night, at least between the kids’ bedtime and yours.

Disclosure: I am part of the Netflix #SteamTeam and was compensated for this post. All opinions are my own.

Editor’s Note: Plum Organics baby food treated 50 NYC Dads Group members and their significant others to a night out sans kids Sept. 22. Member Corbin Younger wrote up this report on the #ParentingUnfiltered party.

For parents, weeknights are usually reserved for helping our kids with homework and getting them ready for school the next day. Procuring a babysitter for a Thursday night requires a special event, and Plum Organics provided one Sept. 22 — a stylish soiree at the Morgans Hotel, a chic boutique establishment near midtown Manhattan in its exclusive Reserve Lounge.

Plum Organics treated us royally in a sleek, modern setting that proved a far cry from the child-centered events many of us go to regularly. Those of us attending this Parents’ Night Out were pampered with an open bar with top shelf drinks and exquisite appetizers that did not pull any stops. It is rare to go to similar events where a decadent item such as tuna tartare is offered on appetizer-sized spoons. The night ended with a sumptuous banana custard given out by top dessert maker, Magnolia Bakery. In addition to the food and drink being served, Plum Organics set up a photo booth where you could put on costumes and flourishes for unique poses.

As we departed, each attendee received a bag filled with Plum Organics products. It included organic oatmeals and fruit snacks for the kids, health and beauty items such as lip balms and hand sanitizers, and even organic coffee for the adults. But what made the evening special was the opportunity to just relax and have conversations with other dads and their partners. Some of the exchanges naturally centered around our kids, yet it felt like a guilty pleasure of discussing other aspects of our lives with fellow parents in a relaxed atmosphere that made this event so enjoyable.  

Thanks to the very generous Plum Organics people for arranging this event. I hope we have other opportunities to pair up!

Four months ago, our family welcomed a baby daughter which makes me the proud father of two.  Our daughter is beautiful, delicious, and I love every ounce of her being.  It’s also been seven years since I’ve been back in the weeds with handling a newborn — the erratic crying, countless diaper changes, middle of the night feedings, and unpredictability.

I’m exhausted.

Before our daughter was born, my wife and I were consistent about hiring a babysitter at least once a week for a date night. It’s expensive, especially in New York City. We needed an opportunity to go out for nice dinners, to the movies, catch up with friends, or be spontaneous and figure out plans last minute.  We craved the adult interaction and relished in the moment for a few hours when it was just us…sans kids.

It was extremely important for us to take back that special time, our date night, as soon as possible after having our baby.  Even though we want to crash hard each night from the daily juggle of two children, we’re starting to find our rhythm.  We need to get out and keep that spark.  That means date night is back!

Last week, we were presented with an opportunity that we couldn’t pass up.  Sure, it was a Sunday night (a school night), but it was time to take the plunge for a night on the town to feel like giddy college kids.  We booked a sitter to have one of those only in New York City kind of nights.  My wife and I attended the first ever PlentiTogether Live Show, on behalf of the unique, new Plenti Credit Rewards Card from American Express, which featured an all-star concert collaboration with performances from Nick Jonas, Keith Urban, and Pitbull. All of these guys are superstars in their own musical genre, so it was pretty awesome that Plenti brought them all together for an amazing concert.

We danced, sang, celebrated, and shared a special evening together.  We came home flying high from a wonderful night out and were even more thrilled that our kids were sound asleep.

Success.

Time to book another sitter for this weekend!

**Disclosure: The Plenti Credit Card Team at American Express hosted us at the PlentiTogether Live Show in NYC and provided complimentary passes. All thoughts and opinions included in this post are my own and have not been influenced from the brand. 

This is a sponsored post. NYC Dads Group has been monetarily compensated by Sittercity to write about its new Date Night Now service. As always, all opinions are our own.

Last week, I wrote about my desire to go out with friends (without kids).

Very happy to report that we got out!

Four couples (one pregnant) not only managed to schedule a time, date and place to meet, but we also all showed up. We started the evening with a lovely tour of the recently renovated Islamic Art wing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We also walked through the China: Through the Looking Glass Exhibit just days after the rich and famous inhabited the space for the infamous Met Gala.

It was a perfect spring night in New York City, so we walked from the Met to dinner at Upper East Side neighborhood favorite, Bocado Cafe. Good food, good drinks (great sangria) and excellent company.

It was a really fun evening and a great opportunity to get out with friends. And to be honest, it probably wouldn’t have come together without our sponsor, Sittercity and their new Date Night Now service.

As the title suggests, Date Night Now from Sittercity promises busy parents the opportunity to find a verified babysitter across much of New York City for date nights– Thursday through Sunday evenings. They take all the work out of the process by meeting all of the Date Night Now sitters in person, conducting enhanced background checks, and verifying prior sitting experience. All payments to Sittercity sitters are handled online too, so no late night trips to the ATM to pay the babysitter at the end of the night.

Our Sittercity – Date Nigh Now reviews

How was the service? Here’s what our guys had to say:

Christopher Persley (aka The Brown Gothamite)

I found the Date Night Now service from Sittercity quite simple to use. In no more than 10-15 minutes, I set up my account and reserved a sitter for our joint date night. I also really appreciate the fact that you can set up to pay by credit card. No last-minute trips to the ATM with Date Night Now!

Our sitter was early, polite and jumped right into playing with our daughter.We were quite comfortable and left to enjoy our evening with friends.

My wife and I are pleased when we are able to have a date night for us. However, to plan and secure time with friends who also have children is really challenging. So, we couldn’t have been more excited to have some down time with other adults and chat.

These types of opportunities are invaluable. Date Night Now made it possible.

Jason Greene (aka One Good Dad)

I’m not sure when the last time was that my wife and I went out on a date with other couples. Maybe even before we had kids. Thankfully, Date Night Now from Sittercity made going out with my wife easy to plan and stress free.

My son chose the sitter from the Date Night Now website, and a few days later, my wife and I walked out the door feeling comfortable leaving our kids with a capable sitter that had been vetted by the company. My kids had a great time, which eased our conscious since my wife and I had wonderful time away from them.

Unfortunately, one of our dads wasn’t able to find a babysitter because he lives outside the Date Night Now service area, but he still has some feedback:

Lorne Jaffe (aka Raising Sienna)

Sittercity tried very hard, but they weren’t able to match a babysitter with us this time. We live in Queens close to the Long Island border, so Date Night Now didn’t show any sitters available. I called their customer service team and reached Tiffany, with whom I corresponded and was wonderful and easily accessible via e-mail. She found us three potential babysitters but sadly, none worked out because we’re not close to a subway station (just the Long Island Railroad) and a car ride during rush hour probably wouldn’t be the best of ideas.

Regardless, I cannot stress enough how hard customer service tried to find someone for us and how they gladly allowed us to join in for an evening out with friends. Luckily my mother was able to watch Sienna!

I’ll chime in with some feedback too. We have had a pretty consistent roster of babysitters for several years, so it has been a long time since our two boys (ages 9 and 6) had a new sitter. When I logged into Date Night Now, I was shown three babysitters with their educational history, work experience, etc. Each profile also includes a video of the sitter talking about their approach to babysitting. The one we chose worked out very well, and we definitely plan on having her back soon!

Our night was looking so fun, that NYC Dads Group Co-Organizer Lance Somerfeld left his wife and newborn at home and popped in for a drink.

He is definitely looking forward to the next date night … hoping next time he can bring his wife

Feeling inspired? We’ve got the hook up for you. Go to the Sittercity website and use promo code NYCDADS to get $55 off your first night of babysitting (first-time users only).

This is a sponsored post. NYC Dads Group has been monetarily compensated by Sittercity to write about its new Date Night Now service. As always, all opinions are our own.

Growing up, I remember my parents going out with friends almost every Saturday night. We lived in Denver, surrounded by both sides of the family, so they could always count on someone being available to babysit me and my sister. We still reminisce about Saturday nights staying up a little later than usual watching Love Boat with our Grandma Honey.

Fast forward to our life in New York City. We have no family nearby and we’re so caught up in our busy lives that scheduling time to just go out with friends happens once in a blue moon.

That’s kinda sad given that we: a) live in one of the greatest cities on Earth (more than a few would say we live at the center of the world), and b) have plenty of friends with whom we would love to spend an evening.

With the desire to get out in our great city and a long list of friends that would join us, I was thrilled when Sittercity reached out to let me know they could erase any more excuses with their new “Date Night Now” service.

As the title suggests, they have verified a roster of babysitters across New York City to be available on demand for date nights– Thursday through Sunday evenings. They take all the work out of the process by meeting all of the Date Night sitters in person, conducting enhanced background checks, and verifying prior sitting experience. All payments are handled online too, so no late-night trips to the ATM to pay the babysitter at the end of the night!

Sounds good, right? Well, you get to try Date Night Now right along with us.

We thought this was a perfect opportunity to get some guys from NYC Dads Group together with our wives, so we asked some friends to join us too. We are all using the Sittercity Date Night Now service, and you get to watch our big evening unfold on May 8 on Twitter and Instagram at the #datenightnow and #citydads hashtags!

Here’s who is joining my wife Priyanka and I:

• Jason Greene of One Good Dad, and his wife Cara
• Lorne Jaffe of Raising Sienna, and his wife Elaine.
• Christopher Persley of The Brown Gothamite, and his wife Jenelle.

From the moment the babysitter arrives, to our arrival back home, we hope you’ll be inspired to get a babysitter, find some friends, and get out!

If you are already inspired, we’ve got the hook-up for you. Go to the SitterCity website and use promo code NYCDADS to get $55 off your first night of babysitting (first-time users only).