A teachable moment for children doesn’t always come along on the drive to school. However, emergencies present themselves when you least expect them. It’s how I taught my kids about getting help by calling 911.

It was a good morning. We had plenty of time to get to school. We were about six blocks away and then … I drove by a man, sitting in the street, a hysterical woman by his side.

I looked at the time and pulled over. I turned on my hazards and walked over to the man. He had just been hit by a car, and the woman was the driver. I assessed the situation, asked him several important questions before I called 911.

The man was in good spirits even though I think his arm was broken. The driver, on the other hand, was having a full-on panic attack. She had gone back into her car, and I tried to comfort her while having her teenage daughter, who had been in her car with her, stand guard to make sure the man didn’t fall or get hit by another car.

Soon a fire engine arrived and I told the crew that it should send someone to look at the driver since she was in pretty bad shape. I wished the man good luck and headed off to school.

I told my kids what I did, and that the man was OK and safe now. The underlying lesson was this: If someone needs your help and you can provide that help, you should.

And then I explained to them what 911 is and how it works.

And we still got to school before the doors closed.

When should your child call 911?

Teach your child to call 911 when police, fire and/or medical personnel are needed quickly because of an emergency or immediate danger or threat. Remember that it is always “9-1-1” not “9-11” so younger children unfamiliar with making calls don’t look for an 11 button.

Your child should call 911 in case of emergencies, such as:

• a fire that’s out of control
• a crime, such as a break-in, mugging or shooting
• a serious car accident
• someone is seriously hurt, bleeding or unconscious
• someone choking or having trouble breathing

Reassure your children that the 911 operator and emergency personnel he or she sends are the “good guys.” They are trained to ask important questions and gather information as well as calm, reassure and instruct the caller. Children should try to be cool, clear and concise as possible when talking to them.

Questions 911 will often ask in emergencies

• What is your emergency?
• Where are you calling from (town, county, address, cross streets)?
• Is the victim male or female?
• What is the victim’s age?
• Is the victim breathing?
• Is there any bleeding?
• Is the person responsive (awake/alert) or unconscious?
• What is your phone number? (Needed so 911 can call back if you get disconnected.)

Photo by Ash H via Pexels.

Gravity, an invisible constant keeping us all alive on this fragile, blue ball hurtling through space, provides humanity with many wonderful things.

How much fun would it be to throw a ball if it never returned to Earth? Birds would be entirely unimpressive without gravity. Airplanes? More like who-cares-planes. Pick a sport. Any sport. It’d be lame without gravity.

This potent force tugging on the International Space Station is the same potent force tugging on my 4-year-old son as he climbs a tree. In the great cosmic battle between gravity and a 4-year-old, gravity often wins.

“It’s not broken. It can’t be broken. He didn’t fall THAT far,” I asserted confidently.

My wife disagreed. In my defense, there was no visible bruising. Not even a scratch or a bump. The swelling was very minor. I felt confident a little ibuprofen and a good night’s sleep would fix it. “Father of the Year” nominee, right here.

The next day, my son had a sling. Day after that, a cast. A week after, my son was sitting in my lap as the doctor explained he would need surgery and pins. This was during the appointment where they were supposed to tell us everything was fine.

From this point, things began to accelerate. The doctor was sort of talking out loud, musing about his schedule, “We could do it today. Has he had anything to eat?”

I got a little flustered. “It? As in ‘surgery’? Today?” I said.

I think my son was processing it all better than me. Ultimately everything went fine. It was stressful and expensive, and everything took too long, and the doctor was late, and on and on it went.

No secret to this parenting trick

I’ve often wondered how I’d handle an emergency with my kids. Up until The Great Tree Fall of 2021, we had made zero trips to the emergency room. It’s been pretty smooth sailing, but with active and adventurous kids, the looming threat has always been there. Waiting. Stalking. This time, it was our turn.

Every urgent care trip isn’t life threatening, and every surgery on a 4-year-old isn’t worthy of a tense documentary. Worrying about what the first emergency would be like was far worse than the event itself. As moments played out, there was no panic. No freak out. My wife and I methodically and calmly navigated each situation. Not because we are particularly special (well, she is, anyway), but because that’s life. We handle it as it comes. From this great realization, I’ve learned a powerful secret, an epic life hack, the ultimate parenting trick, and I’m willing to share. Ready?

The trick is: There is no trick.

I have three children. People often say, “I don’t know how you do it.” I usually feel a little silly because I don’t know either. But every day they all get fed, bathed (usually), and go to bed on time (mostly). The next day, we do it again. That’s how we do it. I suspect this is how all great challenges are overcome. One small task after the next until it’s all gone. That’s the trick. That’s how we do it.

My son fell. I picked him up. We got him water. We got him ice. On and on the tiny tasks went until eventually my son arrived home from the hospital after his surgery and immediately began to act as if nothing had happened. Worrying probably shaved six to eight months off my life, but my boy was running around the house eager to show off his fresh, blue cast. Kids, man.

I wish I had a secret. I wish I had a special parenting trick. I wish some wizened sage had bestowed upon me great wisdom I could share with you. Instead, I’ve learned none of us have any idea what we’re doing. Not at first, anyway. And those who do have a clue, only have a clue because they blindly bumbled their way through the first trauma and have made it to the other side. As one of those formerly bumbling, clueless parents, let me encourage you with this: You’ll figure it out.

And remember, no matter how bad you may feel you’re screwing up, you once read about some guy who sent his son to bed with a broken arm. Surely you’ll do better than THAT guy.

Parenting trick photo: © Pixel-Shot / Adobe Stock.

“Dad, tell that story again about the time I stabbed you.”

My younger teen daughter, Lindsay, makes this request every few months or so with a giggle. And while she’s the villain of the story, it also features one of my not-so-flattering moments as a parent — one of those many bloopers that all families experience when things don’t go as planned.

At age 4, Lindsay attended a summer art class that she absolutely loved. When my older daughter, Lauren, and I went to pick her up from class one day, only Lindsay and the teacher remained. She was not quite finished with her art project and was ignoring my pleas that we had to go.

The project consisted of drawing a picture on a black piece of paper. As I looked closer, however, I realized that Lindsay was using a sharp wooden skewer on the paper rather than a regular pen or pencil. The sharp tip of the skewer was used to remove a black film on the paper and reveal rainbow colors underneath.

“Lindsay, we really have to go now,” I said. She did not respond.

I glanced at the teacher with a forced smile and said, “Come on, honey, your teacher wants to go home. We really need to go.”

Again, Lindsay continued to work.

At this point, frustration set in. I was tired, it was late in the day, and Lindsay knew better. I scooped her into my arms firmly, bid goodbye to the teacher, and started to carry Lindsay out of the studio. She immediately cried for her artwork, so I told Lauren to bring it to the car, but I did not relinquish my grip.

Unfortunately, Lindsay had now started wriggling down my left side. I had to tighten my grip considerably as she ended up in a horizontal position across my chest. And when I looked down, I saw a crucial mistake: Lindsay still had the sharp skewer in her tiny fist.

As we entered the parking lot, I suddenly felt alarming pangs of pain in my leg. Normally peaceful Lindsay was stabbing me with her skewer! Instinctively, I squeezed her even tighter and yelled: “You will NOT stab your father!”

In rage, I repeated this reverse-gender Oedipal chant while mortified Lauren started looking around for witnesses in the parking lot. A tinge of guilt entered my mind, but adrenaline reigned. When we reached the car, I commanded Lauren: “Open the back door!” As she did, I deposited my Bride of Chucky into the backseat, swiped the skewer from her little hand, and slammed the door.

Family bloopers provide laughter and lessons

In hindsight, I could have handled the incident better. But as all parents know, we don’t always practice the theories we preach at all times. I take some solace, however, in the fact that I did not say anything personally destructive to Lindsay. I regret my semi-violent anger, but at least I managed to separate the misbehavior (stabbing) from the child (Lindsay).

Our family learned that day that Lindsay was not as peaceful as we had thought. But since then we have also learned the value of hanging on to family bloopers, for they often provide perspective and comic relief during tough times years later. So I encourage parents to document some of those trying moments that later become bloopers. Use whatever works best for your family — e.g. photos, videos, journal entries or simply old-fashioned storytelling. So much of modern parenting is fraught with planning, worrying and struggling for control. Be sure to take time to savor the unscripted moments.

Today, it seems fitting that preschool Lindsay who was ready to maim me for interrupting her art is now a true artist — an avid teen filmmaker. Come to think of it, she once decapitated me in one of her films. But I choose not to read any more Oedipus themes into that fact.

We were invited by Britax to join them at Safe Kids Day, a family-friendly event to benefit the life-saving programs of Safe Kids Worldwide.

Why is Safe Kids Worldwide so important?

Safe Kids Worldwide is a global organization dedicated to protecting kids from unintentional injuries, the number one cause of death to children in the United States. Throughout the world, almost 1 million children die of injuries each year. That is all we needed to hear, we are thankful to be able to help spread the word.

What was going on at Safe Kids Days?
They had a fun filled day of activities that included:

• The Smurfs
• Clifford and the Imagination Playground
• Skate dogs
• Exotic animals and and and and so much more!

They provided some great food such as In-N-Out Burger, Sprinkles, Greeenleaf, Coolhaus, Bon Puf and much more! So Yummy!

Needless to say, it was amazing. Do you know what was even more amazing,

Did you know?
3,817 child deaths from car crashes in 2014
or
#1 killer of children ages 1-4 is drowning

The sponsored activities made the event not only fun but more importantly engaging. The engagement makes learning fun! The have stations throughout the event ranging from building blocks, playing on a fire truck, competing in a safety seat challenge, and a safe biking station. Each station had a fun activity that helps create what we call a “learning experience”. These are the type of experiences are effective nontraditional interactions through games that will leave a lasting impression.

One example from the bike station was learning how a helmet should fit properly:

• When you look upward the front rim should be barely visible to your eye
• The Y of the side straps should meet just below your ear
• The chin strap should be snug against the chin so that when you open your mouth very wide you feel the helmet pull down a little bit.

Please check out Safe Kids Worldwide for more preventable safety tips!

Enabling families to travel safely!

Britax is and has been a huge supporter of the City Dads group, and we are very appreciative and grateful for their support. We have worked with Sarah Tildon (who is one, if not the top expert in car seats). We have had classes on the ins-and-outs of car seats. You would think that we would know, but even our very own Eli Lipmen learned a super important lesson about forward-facing versus rear-facing car seats, especially for toddlers.

You would think that we would know, but even our very own Eli Lipmen learned a super important lesson about forward-facing versus rear-facing car seats, especially for toddlers. He had just turned his two-year-old’s car seat around – and, yup, he did it too soon! As we spoke with Sarah, she broke it down as an expert, but also as a parent. She asked a few questions, but the first was the best – “Did he [your son] ask to be turned around?” She explained that the law says two-years-old but you can keep them rear-facing for as long as the seat allows and the simple solution was to use a car seat wedge!

Thank you @britaxus for inviting us to Safe Kids Days event – it was such a great time! We will be sharing all kinds of awesome stuff in an upcoming blog. In the m an time, you should also ask @elipmen the important thing he learned from @sarahtildon (you know the national car seat expert) about the car seat for Cal! #sharesafety #citydads #britax @safekidsworldwide @safekidsfoundation

A post shared by LA Dads Group (@ladadsgroup) on Apr 23, 2017 at 3:57pm PDT

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Do you have questions about your car seat? You should visit Britax’s safety center to get answers.

Britax’s mission: To be the leader and innovator that inspires and enables families to travel safely and grow with peace of mind.

If you can prevent an accident – DO IT!

We want to send a huge thank you to Britax and Safe Kids Day for such a spectacular event!
We want everyone to be safe, keep all children safe and since PREVENTABLE INJURIES ARE THE #1 KILLER OF U.S. KIDS. Let’s work on being more aware of the things we can change and make good decisions – because “Saving lives is a decision we can all make every day”.

My son, he is floating away. He can’t swim, he’s only 3. The water is cold, my hands are numb. I’m not sure how long I can hold on. I’m afraid we are going to die. I may have just killed my son.

I’ve relived this nightmare in my dreams more than I care to remember. Every time I get near open water with my children it starts rushing back and paralyzes me. You would think that even though it happened early in his life that my son would have no recollection of it but he reminds me of it every time he sees a canoe which makes it much harder.

August of 2008. We spent a weekend in Canada at a friend’s cabin on a lake I didn’t know. My wife and I went out with Adam in the canoe, circled once around the island and came back. On the other side of the island is where it got choppy and windy. Luckily, with both of us in there we made it back.

When I suggested another time around my wife bailed (this is why she is the smart one) and I continued on determined to keep the fun going. I wouldn’t say that I am generally a risk taker. What I was trying to do was create a lasting memory with my son. I learned the hard way that sometimes we need to not force a memory.

When we passed the island, the wind was too much for one person. It kept pushing the canoe in the opposite direction and we started to drift. I worked at trying to get back but it was no use. My arms were tired, the wind was winning and I tried to readjust myself in the canoe.

That’s when the canoe tipped. I had no life jacket but Adam did. I saw Adam floating away and reached out.

When I was younger I was a camp counselor and we did some canoeing. We used to teach the campers to tip the canoe in the pond and get it back to shore. This memory came back to me as I reached out and grabbed the back of his life jacket and wrestled Adam back into the center of the canoe while it swamped.

I tried to keep him calm, telling him to hold onto the boat. I grabbed the far side with my arms on either side of him. Then I just prayed. I prayed someone would hear me screaming for help as we drifted further out into the lake.

No matter how hard I kicked toward the shore, the island got farther and farther away. I prayed for God to keep us safe and to protect Adam. I prayed that Adam would be safe even if it meant I didn’t make it. My arms were waning, the water frigid, my hands were becoming numb. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on. Was I going to die? What would happen to Adam?

I could only hope someone back on the island would realize that we had been gone too long. I am not sure how long we were out there or when exactly my sandals, the paddle, and my seat cushion floated away. I scanned the water for someone, anyone and spotted a boat to my left and tried to flag them down. But two heads bobbing in the water is hard to see in a fast moving boat and they went right past us.

I continued to talk to Adam while trying in vain to scream for my wife. The wind was too strong and we were just too far away. Every time I screamed so did Adam and when he was screaming “Mommy!” and crying it broke my heart over and over again. I tried to reassure him as he sobbed inches from my face. I told him that it would be okay and that we would just wait for Mommy. No one could hear us. No one could see us. No one was coming.

I was tired after holding onto the boat to keep him inside. My hands were aching and numb, like holding on to an edge and you know you can’t let go. What seemed like forever finally came to an end when I heard boats in the distance firing up. I saw a boat on the horizon that seemed like a speck canvassing the water. I took my red baseball hat off, the only thing that didn’t float away and waved it in the air as high as I could reach trying to get their attention.

Bobby, my wife’s friend, came to our rescue after 10 minutes of searching, he spotted us. He pulled Adam and I into the boat and back to shore with the canoe in tow. I felt like the worst dad in the world. I had almost killed my son.

Adam was traumatized and shivering and all I could think of was whether it was God who answered my prayers or just the common sense of my wife and her friends that we were gone far too long. It’s a memory that I would rather not relive but every time I see a canoe or get near open water, my mind gets the better of me.

While we were trying to warm my son up, I attempted to lighten the mood by remarking how much of the lake was in his swim diaper. That’s when my 1-year-old daughter rolled off the bed and knocked her head on the ground. My wife and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. That’s when it hit me that anything can happen with kids and that it was part of life to deal with tough times.

We don’t really talk about it anymore. Adam now says “Remember the time you tipped the canoe? and we can laugh it off because we survived. I try not to think about it because it gives me a terrible feeling in my gut to this day. It was every parent’s worst nightmare come true and I lived to tell about it.

I’ve been much more level headed since then, maybe too careful at times because when I think about the possibility of something going wrong, this comes to the forefront. I make it a point to always wear a life jacket which admittedly was beyond stupid. I’m lucky to be alive.

Part of overcoming my fear has been to get out in boats again with my son, though that fear is still there for me. Trying to overcome that mistake has been a long road for me but I am trying not to let it define me because of a bad decision once when he was little. I thought I was in control. I thought that I was being an awesome dad.

No one is infallible when it comes to making decisions. You must consider that sometimes things will be beyond your control. Not letting that fear control me is the hardest part but sometimes I remind myself that I just need to get back in the boat.

A version of this first appeared on DadNCharge.

First Blood! No, this is not a review of the 1982 action flick with Sylvester Stallone (although John J. Rambo was the man!). This is the first at-home dad experience I had when my son did a face plant and drew first blood. I know we always hear “you can’t turn around for even a second” once your child is mobile. Well, I did not turn around, but it happened anyway.

My son was rocking back and fourth on all fours in the crawl position. He went to reach for a toy, lost his balance, and face planted into the hard wood floor. It was not a far fall. I saw it it happen right in front of me and heard the “knock” sound as he hit the floor. I picked him up like I always do when he takes a hard fall. Then, you get that “pain” cry – the one where my son shrieks for a second … pauses … 1…2…3… as he sucks in air … then, let’s out that ear piercing scream. Normally, he is calm in a few seconds and we move on. Not this time!

As I looked at his face, he had blood coming out of his mouth. I remained calm, but quickly realized that this would not be something the “Boo boo bunny” or “icy bites” could solve. I think it would have been easier on me if he cut his arm or leg, but coming from the mouth did not sit well with me. I called the doctor’s office, explained what happened, grabbed a paper towel with some ice, and flew out the door to get there.

Jake was still bleeding by his top teeth when I arrived at the doctor’s. After being in the waiting room for five minutes and watching other patients get called in, I got a bit testy with the nurse at the desk. “Don’t they care that my little guy is bleeding!” Another ten minutes pass, and we get called into the patient room.

Finally, the doctor comes in 15 minutes later (that is 30 minutes since we entered so I am livid at this point). Fortunately, my son is a cool cat and was acting like it’s business as usual. His dad was not as “cool.” Upon inspection, Jake had split his top gum when he fell down. The doctor explained that this minor injury is quite common, did not seem concerned (relief!). She also said I should be prepared for much worse now that he is more mobile. She explained that his cut is similar to an adult biting their tongue or scraping the inside of their cheek. It may cause a little discomfort, but you will certainly live.

To be honest, I almost got the feeling that the doctor was surprised that I actually came into the office for this “first blood” event. I know – I probably overreacted. Don’t all first time parents?

Any good “first blood” experiences to share?

Photo by Diana Polekhina on Unsplash

“The number of children injured by furniture has jumped 40 percent over the past 20 years.”

This fact, from an article about child-proofing, jumped out at me in the Health section of a recent copy of am New York.

Now that my son is mobile around the apartment, it is amazing how he gets “curious” about the things he shouldn’t be touching. How does he know where the heater dial is under the bench? Why does he reach so high for the wine bottles on the wine rack? How can he slither under the coffee table and get stuck? why are the computer wires so fascinating?

I have slowly (too slow) been starting the process of child-proofing our apartment over the past couple of weeks. This includes the basic stuff of inserting plug protectors into electrical outlets, moving dangerous items off of the floor, and taping/hiding plugs and cords so they are not visible. The next phase will be getting rid of our glass coffee table, our wine rack (very upset about this one), and getting latches for drawers and cabinets. One helpful piece of advice about child-proofing that was given to me is “to crawl around on all fours like your child to see what they see” so you can find trouble areas.

I know a lot of these things are common sense, but thought I would share these tips from Dr. Jim Schmidt, co-founder of the Virginia-based company Child Safety House Calls, made in the amNew York story on child-proofing:

■ Tether it. Secure any potentially unstable furniture to the wall.
■ Rock it. Rock each piece of furniture to test if a toddler’s weight could topple it, realizing that
even heavy objects can fall if a child pulls or climbs on open drawers.
■ Watch what’s on top. Objects you know a child will want — such as a toy or remote control — will tempt them to climb.
■ Watch coffee tables. Many are the perfect height for toddlers to whack their heads. Consider moving a table with sharp edges into storage or covering it with a thick blanket.
■ Hang TVs. Tether them to the wall or keep them low to the ground. Kids are naturally curious about them and they’re heavy enough to cause serious injury.
■ Use Velcro. Kids often tear off protective padding that parents tape or glue on sharp edges. If you adhere cushioning with Velcro, you can easily put it back on.
■ Choose tempered glass. This glass shatters into tiny pieces rather than large, jagged shards when broken, so a child may get more small cuts but no life threatening wounds.
■ Ask for child-proofing help. Ask a salesperson for child-proofing guidance when buying glass-top or glass-front furniture.
■ Place furniture wisely. Keep it away from windows and railings, where a climbing child might fall.
■ Beware of choking hazards. Beads, rivets and wicker all can break into small pieces. Go for wood furniture or upholstery without beading. (MCT)

Please feel free to share some valuable child-proofing tips or advice.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels