Did you know that what we call the “fall colors” of leaves are actually their glorious “true” colors? The leaves don’t change to new colors in autumn but instead revert to their original colors. I learned this years ago when my oldest daughter asked why the leaves change color.

As a way to bond (and hide my ignorance), I suggested we search the internet together for information. We found that, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, “the four primary pigments that produce color within a leaf are chlorophyll (green); xanthophylls (yellow); carotenoids (orange); and anthocyanins (reds and purples). During the warmer growing seasons, leaves produce chlorophyll to help plants create energy from light. The green pigment becomes dominant and masks the other pigments. … As days get shorter and nights become longer … the fading green allows a leaf’s true colors to emerge, producing the dazzling array of orange, yellow, red and purple pigments we refer to as fall foliage.”

Equipped with this knowledge, we annually observe the emergence of fall colors differently. It’s a richer, more wonder-filled experience for our family. I thought of this phenomenon and its relationship to parenting while reading Alexandra Horowitz’s recent book, On Looking: A Walker’s Guide to the Art of Observation.

In the book, Horowitz takes 11 neighborhood walks with different experts to experience the same scenes with different eyes. The results are remarkable. Horowitz realizes “I had become a sleepwalker on the sidewalk. What I saw and attended to was exactly what I expected to see” and nothing else.

From a geologist, she learns “limestone, a popular building material, is full of the shells, remains, and other traces of ancient animals. … Taking this in, my view of the street was entirely changed: no longer was it passive rock; it was a sea graveyard.” From a field naturalist, she learns “even when you see no bugs before you, even when the ground looks still and the air looks clear, they are there.”

Learn through how children observe the world

Most relevant to parenting is what Horowitz learns about observation from her 19-month-old son. For him, a walk is “an investigatory exercise that begins with energy and ends when (and only when) exhausted.” An infant “has no expectations, so he is not closed off from experiencing something anew.” Also, the relative absence of language enables very young children to “sense the world at a different granularity, attending to parts of the visual world we gloss over; to sounds we have dismissed as irrelevant.”

Horowitz views a child’s acquisition of language in paradoxical terms. She acknowledges that language is key to a child’s development and navigation of the world. Hence, language could be compared to the necessary green pigment that fosters growth on leaves. But Horowitz also laments that the naming of objects in a child’s environment gradually limits his or her ability to observe and perceive additional aspects — or what might be called the environment’s true (and masked) colors — more fully.

She notes the bittersweet onset of language for her growing toddler. “I knew I did not have long before words, enablers of thoughts but also stealers of idiosyncrasies, muted his theatricality. And so our family had together created a fluid vocabulary of expressions, facial and bodily, that could be applied to a new situation,” she writes.

This poignant passage no doubt triggers every parent’s memories of those infant-to-toddler days when sounds were not yet words. One of my daughters at that age would repeat the sound “ta-doo” in varying tones. For weeks the family tried to discern the meaning of the sound. Then, one day, an older cousin simply said: “Maybe it just means ‘ta-doo.’” Somehow that settled the debate.

Improve your observational skills  

Every parent also remembers entertaining formulations from their children’s early language days. My older daughter once told me: “Dad, I’m a little bit big and a little bit little.” My younger daughter once wrote in her journal: “My dad has hair on both sides of his head and nothing in the middle.” That last one burned a little bit.

Selective attention is necessary for life, but parents should try not to narrow their attention too rigidly. Follow the example of very young children before language development. Try to maintain an open mind that does not allow habit and expectation to become blinders that restrict understanding.

A great way to embody this message might be a family nature walk this fall. Slow down and inspect the surroundings together. Keep a sense of wonder about all that reveals itself — like those “true colors” in the trees that the pandemic cannot cancel. Try to keep seeing the world with fresh, unmasked eyes.

Observe autumn photo: © Volodymyr / Adobe Stock.

At the start of Beauty and the Beast, maybe 15 minutes in, Princess Belle is dancing in a meadow. She breaks into song as one does. What I see, as a father, is not the story of a woman who falls in love with an abuser. Well, I do see that. But what I see as a suburban father (and homeowner) is a field full of weeds. Oh, I’m sure others may call them “wildflowers” or “set design.” However, to the highly trained dad brain, I call them “shit that ruins my yard.”

Princess Belle needs to lay down some weed and feed. A whole crap ton, actually. She would probably be better suited to just going down to the local gardening store and getting a sprayer and a truck delivery. Seriously, she needs to buy it in bulk.

And I’m a little miffed at the Beauty and Beast village. No father figure in town has stepped up with his weed spreader to take care of the problem. If you don’t nip it in the bud now, at the source, it’s only going to spread. Then you are going to have the HOA coming down on your ass. Who needs that?

This is what fatherhood and its consequence — dad brain — has done to my movie watching. I constantly get pulled out of the story because I can no longer ignore some things that I see. I try to, but I can’t. The movie will be going along fine until I see something, that as a suburban father, makes me cringe.

Turn out the damn lights!

Take Blade Runner, both the old and the new movie. They are both very dark movies and I don’t just mean the subject manner. Hey, I’m all down for the robot love of the future. Apparently, all this robot love takes place at night. Which means a lot of lights. But here’s the thing, even with all those lights — neon and colorful — it’s still very dark. My dad brain starts to wonder: how much electricity they are wasting?

I know that shit isn’t free in the future. Is there some Blade Runner dad going around turning off all those lights when no one needs them? And if he is, he’s probably dying inside because it’s obvious they are using the wrong wattage. That light isn’t bright enough. This means they probably aren’t using the good energy-saving LED kinds. With so many lights to change, it’s probably the cheap knockoff shit which means they burn out a lot. How often do they have to replace those bulbs? Whoever runs that city is just making more work for dad. I would totally watch a movie where utility bills don’t exist. It would be some post-apocalyptic thriller where a dad has to scrounge around for the proper wattage light bulb and eat people on occasion.

Stop messing with my property values!

Marvel superhero movies send my inner rage out of control.

When Hulk smashes into a building, what I see is property taxes going up. Oh, sure, the buildings probably have insurance. But that means they are going to have to make a claim, which means rents are going up. Don’t Millennials have enough to worry about? Rents are already out of control.

And we all know that debris is going to ruin sidewalks and that’s the real rub, where the real consumer is going to get hit. Sales tax will have to go up to repair those streets. I don’t see Captain America out there with a hard hat laying asphalt. And let’s be clear, I can’t welcome all those Millennials into the suburbs. That will make my taxes go up, with all their demands for affordable housing.

Then the Avengers will follow and — bam — my sidewalks get jacked up. What happens if they break a water line? Who’s going to pay for that shit? If it’s on my property, me, that’s who. I’m going to have to sit out in the front of my house with my water hose, spraying down aliens and Iron Man while screaming “Get. Off. My. Lawn!”  And, I’ll mean it. Suburban dads have lawyers. I’m going to sue.

Killer little plastic bricks!

Every Lego movie makes me cringe. Sure, they are clever and action-packed. However, when there’s an explosion in a Lego movie, I see a thousand tiny parts going everywhere. Those tiny little Lego bricks hurt like a son of a bitch when you step on them in the middle of the night. It’s like I have PTSD from Lego injuries. The center of my foot gets sore just thinking about it.

And they jack up the vacuum cleaner, especially those clear ones that I can’t see. That’s a half hour just to fix the vacuum cleaner. Then you’ve got a busted scene and someone has got to put it back together. Yeah, that’s going to be dad. Three hours of work just so that I can do it all over again when Batman comes screeching through.

Finally, dad brain teaches a good lesson

Seriously, watching movies is exhausting with dad brain.

Aliens came on recently, the second one, the one that’s really good. Ripley was getting ready to beat some mother queen ass.

“Little Hoss!” I screamed. “Get in here!”

“What?” she asked.

“Come here and watch this movie.”

She sat and together we enjoyed Ripley running around trying to save Newt. The little girl gets taken, the mother Queen lays some gross-looking eggs, Ripley saves the day and they escape.

Little Hoss buried her head into my shoulder, right at the good part where Ripley doesn’t know that the Queen smuggled herself on board. Little Hoss knows something is coming. She can feel the tension of the scene.

“Look, baby, you need to watch this,” I said.

“Is it scary?”

“Yeah, totally. Watch.”

Sometimes being a father means facing those fears together.

The Queen rips Bishop in half. Little Hoss screams. Ripley runs away, leaving the little girl.

“She can’t leave! She can’t leave Newt!” Little Hoss yells at the screen. “Be brave, Rip!”

And then Ripley shows up in a front-loader robot to kick some alien ass. Little Hoss cheers. I cheer, even though I have seen this movie a hundred times. The fight is on.

“Get her! Get the Queen!” Little Hoss says. She’s jumping up and down.

“See that honey!” I said to my daughter. “That, that is what I wanted you to see. When you grow up, be Ripley. That’s who you have to be!”

A dad’s brain never turns off, I don’t think it can. That doesn’t mean that it always sees the bad things, though.  Sometimes it sees the awesome and takes the opportunity to show his daughter how to jump in some heavy equipment to throw monsters out of the airlocks.

But yeah, when I see an airlock, what I think is “Close that thing, you are letting all the cool air out. Do you have any idea how high our electric bill is? Were you raised in a barn?”

A version of this first appeared on The Hossman Chronicles. Dad brain photo: © AntonioDiaz / Adobe Stock.

There can be few things more difficult to accept than being outwitted by your children. It’s not just their incessant questions, which are capable of exposing the depth of my ignorance, but it’s also finding myself running out of logical explanations for my behavior.

In my exhaustion or frustration, I often flippantly make rules or broad proclamations. I imagine all parents are guilty of this. The reason why we can’t play endless imaginary games is often unsatisfactory to our kids, and we are forced to give SOME reason. If that reason doesn’t measure up, we’re going to hear about it.

Yeah, I know I should be proud of the sharp minds banging around my kids’ thick skulls, and I am. But do they have to be THIS sharp so soon? I’m in my 40s. My cognitive decline is a genetic certainty. As my eyesight fails me, my hair gets thinner, and my memory fades faster than my faith in humanity, my children’s powers grow stronger. I’m Odin. I’ve dropped a hammer, and I can’t pick it up. But my 5-year-old son can, and he’s coming out swinging.

I’m learning a lot from these cerebral interactions with my children, ages 3, 5 and 7. I’m definitely learning about kids and how quickly their minds are gaining mutant superpowers, but more importantly, I’m learning a lot about myself, and more broadly, about humanity.

The most illuminating lesson: humans suck at changing their minds.

Never surrender and never truly win

Sometimes, I just don’t want to do something, and sometimes I just don’t want my kids to do something else. I don’t always have a good reason, and my kids, like TV lawyer Saul Goodman, cross-examine me with a rigor I’m incapable of matching. Usually, they are right to question my motives. Sometimes I’m just being lazy. Maybe I’m being stubborn and refusing to change a rule that doesn’t make sense. I’m also guilty of barking out orders just because I’m too tired to do anything else. While there are excusable moments of parental imperative, for the most part, I should just relent and do the unthinkable — change my mind.

We see this in endless debates on social media. People will make ignorant statements of nonsense, and when confronted with irrefutable proof they are wrong, they dig their heels in deep and keep on spewing nonsense. I’m not talking about ideological debates here. Don’t go political on me. I mean something simple like getting a random, easily Googleable sports fact wrong. The proof of their ignorance can be right there in front of them, and they won’t simply say, “Oopsie. I didn’t know that.” No. They fight. They argue. They make excuses, and you know what? I do the same damn thing when my kids have me dead to rights.

I’m such a hypocrite. I’ll keep arguing back. I’ll keep pushing against their logical and youthful wisdom. No part of me wants to admit they are right, that my rule was unfair or silly, and that I should apologize and make it right. Nope. Never. I’ll die on this hill right here: BECAUSE I SAID SO!

To change one’s mind is a gift for all

What am I teaching them at this moment? What sort of human am I raising? I’m modeling the behavior we now see played out all over the news. Politicians with no new ideas, no leadership abilities, just an unshakable resolve to plow ahead. We see this in CEOs with stupid proclamations not rooted in reality. We see this with religious zealots unwilling to accept any other way of life than the one foretold in their chosen sacred book. This spirit of never changing our minds permeates all of humanity. It feels inescapable. This stubborn mind virus is the real pandemic, and I have the cure.

When your kids are right, change your mind! When your kids have outwitted you, or exposed your hypocrisy, admit you’re wrong. Apologize. Change your mind.

Listen, you can come up with a dozen scenarios when you shouldn’t do this. And, of course, there are times when a little razzle-dazzle with the truth is necessary, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I mean when they have you, when they really have shown you that you’re wrong, don’t let pride hold you back. Don’t just forge ahead as if your logic is unassailable and your authority absolute. Show them grace and love, and show them how to be reasonable human beings. Teach them compromise isn’t a failure.

And if I haven’t convinced you how important this is, do it anyway. Why? BECAUSE I SAID SO!

Change your mind parent photo: © IRStone / Adobe Stock.

My oldest son, Yosef, has to start thinking about life after high school. I feel lost about how to help. When I was his age, my college planning process was not really a process at all. 

I knew I wanted to leave home. I also knew the University of Iowa was only 20 miles away. And, I rooted for the black and gold in football. On top of that, my best friend from high school had already made up his mind to become an Iowa Hawkeye. 

Case closed. This college planning stuff was easy, right? 

Twenty years removed, I am scrambling to figure everything out. 

When should Yosef take the SAT?

Should we be road tripping to check out campuses around the country?

What does Yosef know about how to pay for college? (Student Loans, grants, and/or scholarships) 

All this worry and obligation for a kid I still cannot believe is old enough to drive. At times, parenting high school kids feels like standing in the middle of a freeway: You’re dodging speeding cars to evade a disaster that may be completely out of your control. 

Before I succumb to my own doubts about the ability to appropriately help Yosef navigate the college application process, I tell myself to take it piece by piece. 

Step 1: College, trade school, or none of the above?

Before trekking down any path toward my son’s future, we needed agreement about the direction Yosef sees himself going. 

In our household, we insist our kids chase post-high school education of some kind. I should not assume, though, that Yosef’s path is the same that I took. Maybe trade school is an option. Does Yosef have to attend school right away, or would a gap semester be helpful? 

The answers to these questions will shape the way the rest of our college planning will go. I have to get them.    

Step 2: Money, money, money

I hate that we will not be able to feed his checking account and completely cover his tuition bill. That, though, is our family’s reality. Having a big family, in fact, has subtly reinforced the need for Yosef to self-fund a portion of his future education, I think. 

But before I sign him up for a lifetime of student loans, I plan to talk to him about how this all works – mostly based on my own experiences. 

After all, no one ever talked to me about how to pay for college. I keenly remember having a check arrive at the mailbox of my dorm for a student loan overpayment for my first semester. I should have sent it back. Instead, I ate and drank well for a few weeks with that $500. I was a financial idiot leading up to and through college. Yosef will be better informed. 

I help him understand the magnitudes of the money needed for school. To do so properly, I plan to pair this with a discussion about the career path he might take. In a perfect world, I would decouple a discussion about career path and loan payback, but I just cannot in good conscious. Sure, I would love for Yosef to follow a passion. I do not, though, aim to sign him up unwittingly for a lifetime of debts for a career that provides a meager salary. 

Step 3: The work

Finally, I can help Yosef to position himself for college admission and then success once he’s in. 

First things first. He must make good grades. Like REALLY good as kids in his class have cumulative GPAs above 4.5. 

Next, the SAT will become an important differentiator. The good news for students now is that high-priced prep courses of the past are not the only way to prepare to earn higher scores. Our school district provides free resources – like Kahn Academy – that allow Yosef to better prepare for the SAT.       

Lastly, I am told activities outside of grades and scores can make a difference in admission to big-time universities. I’m not convinced. However, I will be using the argument when I continue to plead with Yosef to volunteer in our community or join philanthropic clubs at school.

Step 4: The fun

I may have been clueless about college planning and making dumb financial decisions but, man, was I having a great time! Whatever Yosef ends up doing, I hope he can look back at his post-high school days as favorably as I do. I want him to have the time of his life at school. 

Then again, just writing that phrase makes me nervous. Will he be responsible? Can he wake up for class after going out mid-week? How will Yosef deal with big classes taught by professors who do not care whether you show up or sleep in? 

I will help him learn by talking to him about finding the right balance between having a good time and taking school seriously. 

Step 5: Turn ‘em loose

However, working to arm Yosef with more insights than I had before leaving for college will not help me sleep any better. I will not worry less about him since I will have less influence on his decisions. Helping him wade through today’s financial and scholastic realities also does not mean I am not cheering for him to do whatever it is he feels passionate about. All this effort, in fact, should show Yosef that I want him to succeed.

I will figure it out and so will he. Hopefully, he takes his first step toward a bright future differently than I did, and select a course without regard for his buddy down the street’s opinion or a football rooting interest.

College planning photo: ©Rawpixel.com / Adobe Stock.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post first appeared on the NYC Dads Group blog in 2012. It has been updated for 2023.

Several months ago, after countless hours of Dora the Explorer on Netflix, I turned on one of my favorite cartoons from my youth, Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends. To my delight and surprise, it is now my daughter’s favorite show.

Recently, we went to a superhero-themed birthday party and she went as Firestar, her favorite from the show. Other kids were Spider-Man and Superman, but she was the only one dressed as an obscure character from a 30-year-old TV show. I think it’s pretty awesome that she is so into something I loved as a kid. Heck, she brought her Iceman figure to a Korean barbeque restaurant the other day.

And on the first Saturday of May, we will venture to a local comic book store to celebrate Free Comic Book Day.

Comic books can build a love of reading

As much as comic books are often derided, they can be a great tool for getting children reading. Younger kids will like the pictures and want you to read the stories, which encourages them to want to learn to read on their own. For kids who can read, especially reluctant readers, comic books are an accessible way to get into reading. I know many educators who use comics in the classroom as a way to get kids reading. And as a dad, I think it is a source of new stories to read. After all, how many times can you tell the story of Little Red Riding Hood?

Another thing that is great about comics is they appeal to a wide audience. Boys and girls, kids and adults can find something they love about comics. With character licensing being the way it is, children know who all the major superheroes are as the person from their friend’s backpack or T-shirt. So why not expose them to the source material and open a new world for them?

So what is Free Comic Book Day?

Free Comic Book Day is usually the first Saturday of May. Participating comic book specialty shops across North America and around the world give away certain comic books absolutely free to anyone who comes into their shops. Since the inception of the program in 2002, tens of millions of free comic books have been given away. 

What is cool about Free Comic Book Day? It can help turn you on to something you have never read before and find a new favorite. You’ll be sure to find some with well-known superheroes, like the Avengers, but you’ll also discover many others. You’ll also be able to pick up more grown-up comics, including graphic novels. For example, I found a Valiant Comics sampler featuring X-O Manowar and a Buffy the Vampire meets The Guild crossover.

The first year I went with my child, the selection of free comics included very kid-friendly fare: Yo Gabba Gabba, Donald Duck, and The Smurfs. So there really is something for everyone!

The last time I went to Free Comic Book Day I ended up with a stack of freebies and I end up buying another stack for myself, which is good because it helped support an independent comic book store.

Find a participating store near you

Need help finding a comic book store near you? Check the store locator on The Free Comic Book Day website.

Photo: © bizoo_n /Adobe Stock.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day is not just a time for reflection on the civil rights leader’s legacy. It is also a day of service in remembrance of his call to action to help others. To help families celebrate MLK Day, a federal holiday observed the third Monday of January, and teach children the value of his message, we’ve compiled some suggestions.

Learn about MLK

There are many great books and videos to help children of all ages, on their own and with parental guidance, learn more about King’s life and dedication to combat racism and inequality.

Videos

BrainPOP, an online educational resource for children, offers free animated videos and related educational materials:

• For children in grades K through three, the six-minute video on King is accompanied by quizzes and links to age-appropriate videos on other important figures in Black history.
• For children in grades four through eight, this video also comes with links to historic newspaper articles and extra reading material on King’s accomplishments.
• BrainPop also offers a short animated summation of civil rights history in the United States aimed at older children.

If your kids don’t need animation, Free School offers a nice six-minute bio of King’s life and work.

And, of course, you can hear and watch King’s famous “I Have a Dream Speech” together.

Books

Younger children will enjoy My Daddy, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., written by his son, Martin Luther King III, and illustrated by A.G Ford. It offers a glimpse into the family life of a crucial figure in this nation’s history.

Let the Children March is a multi-award-winning picture book by Monica Clark-Robinson with illustrations by Frank Morrison about African American children who marched for civil rights in Alabama after listening to King speak.

Martin’s Big Words: The Life of Martin Luther King, Jr., written by Doreen Rappaport and illustrated by Bryan Collier, puts the civil rights leader’s words in context. It adds additional straightforward text and powerful images.

Mature tweens and teens may like the graphic novel March: Book One by the late civil rights pioneer and U.S. Rep. John Lewis and Andrew Aydin with illustrations by Nate Powell. Starting with Lewis’ upbringing in Alabama, the 128-page book covers his life-changing meeting with King and its influence on his efforts to bring about racial justice and fairness.

Volunteer, serve to celebrate MLK Day

If you celebrate MLK Day by volunteering to help others in some way, you are following one of King’s sagest pieces of wisdom. “Everybody can be great … because anybody can serve,” King said. “You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” AmeriCorps, an independent agency of the U.S. government focused on service, suggests several ways for the whole family can volunteer to celebrate MLK Day, such as:

• Bringing meals to homebound neighbors
• Organizing a food donation drive to benefit a local food pantry
• Create community green spaces by planting trees, grass, and flowers, especially in locations that may lack adequate green space
• Clean up a park or abandoned space
• Shovel elderly neighbors’ walkways, clear leaves or help with other yard maintenance

Points of Light, an international nonprofit dedicated to engaging people and resources in solving social problems through voluntary service, offers several resources to help you celebrate MLK Day through education and activity, including several DIY projects families can undertake.

Other ideas include:

• Build a Little Free Library for your neighborhood.
• Write greeting cards or letters to cheer deployed military personnel through Soldier Angel, or to isolated senior citizens through Letters Against Isolation.
• Organize a clothing donation drive to benefit a local shelter

Photo: © Atomazul / Adobe Stock.

Every child learns math in their own way, but which is best?

Many children write down every word the teacher says. Some scribble sketches conveying the same information. Others gaze out the window, processing the lesson while in what appears to be a daydream. Children have different learning methods, but one style isn’t more effective than the other. The secret to maximizing their preferred method: participate in active learning.

Children can prefer visual learning, auditory learning or tactile learning. It depends on what excites their brain and memory most. Regardless of which style best suits an individual, participating in active learning helps children retain information for the future.

Before we can teach these strategies for mathematics, we need to investigate the concept of active learning. What is it, how do you use it, and why is it effective?

What is active learning?

Active learning is a time-tested, trusted method that helps students of all ages absorb information more effectively than passive listening. Although many of us think we are active listeners and learners, you might be surprised to discover how passive listening habits can get in the way of our memory and retention abilities.

Active learning is the concept of students being involved in the teaching process during class. This can be through question-and-answer sessions, relevant activities, group work and class discussions. Studies show this helps stimulate students’ brains and thought processes. It also reinforces understanding of more difficult mathematics course material.

Some examples of active learning in math class involve:

• addition and subtraction games, and calculus challenges
• peer-instruction groups
• grading peers’ mathematics quizzes
• team assignments
• bonuses for hands-on problem-solving on extra credit assignments.

Using active learning techniques is a proven method for academic benefits. It also receives positive feedback from students. Teachers who practice such techniques make the lessons more engaging by:

• dividing students into groups for collaborative work
• guiding students through tough concepts
• allowing for each individual to complete their respective worksheets

The combination of different approaches to the same lesson helps students interpret the information in multiple ways. This reinforces itself in the memory.

After discussing a topic in mathematics with your student, consider using an active teaching strategy. This could be a worksheet, interactive and math-based game, or team project to stimulate collaboration and sharing of information. Several more examples are listed at the end of this article.

By combining “traditional” teaching methods with interactive practices, teachers help keep students focused and interested in the task at hand. Studies show active learning leads to more consistent grades, higher average test scores, greater class participation, and increased classroom focus.

So why isn’t everybody teaching this way?

Simply put, it requires more work. Teaching active learning requires educators to develop a dynamic set of activities for every lesson. Likewise, students need to work hard to engage with all the activities taught in a typical lesson. Instead of passively listening to a lecture, when information can go in one ear and out the other, active learning participation takes more energy.

It also takes more energy to tune out distractions. Getting rid of distractions, such as online computer games, phones, friends sitting nearby and other assignments can be tough. Students today are masters at multitasking, but that can be detrimental for the learning experience. Multitasking can take away from comprehension because students who divide their focus can easily tune out the lesson –– even if it is taught actively.

Teachers and parents need to understand how their extra effort to activate lessons can make a monumental impact on student success. Not only will it spur better test scores and class participation, but can it help students ignore distractions and refocus on what matters during class time.

If your child is unable to concentrate in class, even if the Albert Einstein of active learning were their teacher, consider hiring a math tutor. One-on-one lessons help students stay focused, understand tough concepts, and feel confident during school. Plus, they can cater active learning techniques specific to your child’s interests for the best learning experience possible.

Five active learning games to try

Word-Exercise Association

If you want your children or students to move their bodies while they study, this is a great game. For each word or concept your student needs to remember for the lesson, create an exercise to match it. These exercises could be a workout like pushups or jumping jacks. Or they could be small “Simon says” tasks like standing on one foot or snapping your fingers.

When students integrate information with a physical activity, they better remember the information come test time. You can quiz your child/student by performing one of the exercises and then asking them to recall the associated word and explain it.

Math Hopscotch

Similar to word-exercise association, this game gets the mind and body moving. Start by placing numbers and mathematical symbols on the ground into a hopscotch pattern. You could use a chalk drawing on the pavement or scattered printer paper on a carpeted floor. The space between numbers or symbols should be “jumping distance” apart from each other.

Ask your student to leap from one side of the hopscotch field to the other, alternating between numbers and mathematical symbols. Then, see if they can solve the path they took if it were rewritten as a math equation. Students who can make it across the field AND solve the equation earn points. Make it interesting by adding extra rules for landing on two numbers at once or making the equation longer.

Live Reactions

If your student has to watch video courses from home, live reactions can make the material more engaging. Leaving time-stamped comments on the video to share with the class is exciting because students can see how their classmates reacted to different parts of the video. This can spark discussion, answer questions, or help students bond over the material as they share similar reactions.

One way to make this fun is to integrate Live-Tweeting, reaction emojis or hashtags that students can pin onto the lesson as it’s being taught.

Cross the Line

Provide the classroom with a statement then have the students organize themselves depending on how much they agree or disagree with the statement. You can use lines on the ground to separate “strongly disagree,” “disagree,” “undecided,” “agree” and “strongly agree” sections of the classroom.

Students will be able to see where their classmates stand on a topic and a teacher can engage with them by asking individuals to defend their position. If the debate sways a student’s opinion, they can ‘cross the line’ to join a different group. The game ends when every student is confident in their opinion and does not want to move anymore. Then the teacher can pose a new statement to continue the game.

Deficient Discussion

Deficiency might sound like a bad thing, but this game turns it into a positive. When discussing a lesson with a student or group of students, add restrictions to the conversations such as “everyone has to speak in the form of a question, Jeopardy-style!” or “you aren’t allowed to use words that start with the same letter as your name!”

While these restrictions make classroom discussions a bit more difficult, they also make them way more fun. Students have to reconsider their thoughts a few times before speaking to make sure they stay in the game. This helps reorganize and reinterpret the lesson for better memory. To encourage students to participate in a deficient discussion game, you might offer incentives to the students who make the fewest mistakes.

About the author

Andy Earle is a researcher who studies parent-teen communication and adolescent risk behaviors. He is the co-founder of talkingtoteens.com and host of the Talking to Teens podcast, a free weekly talk show for parents of teenagers.

Photo: © Tom Wang / Adobe Stock.

I don’t really like my son’s friends. Not at all. I don’t like their music or their lack of manners. Still, I relented when he asked if he could just take one more ride with them before coming in to dinner.

I definitely didn’t want him to give them rides. Yet, I sighed and stood there, watching my 5-year-old boy hold his friends tight in his lap, taking them one at a time down the slide. He laughed, and I was glad for his joy. One by one, they slid.

All 27 of his friends.

All 27 cicadas currently residing in his bug house.

And, for the record, I hate bugs.

But it’s not about me.

Let me back up.

In the final months of my wife’s pregnancy, my excitement began to grow. I was nervous to be a father — all right, make that terrified — and, at the time, had absolutely no plans to be a stay-at-home dad — my current profession. Yet, beyond the newness and the normal life-shattering “let’s flip the entire world upside down and never see the universe the same way again” stuff that everyone deals with, my growing excitement centered around another factor.

You see, this soon-to-be kid was going to be a “little me.” This was someone I could share my interests — my nerdiness — with, right from the beginning of his life. I just knew my son was going to love everything I loved. I bottle fed him in front of anime shows. He took his first steps to the Star Wars soundtracks. And one of his earliest complete sentences was “You … shall not … pass!”

Where our interests part

However, as he grew, something funny began to happen. My son wasn’t a little me. He was a little “him.” He had a huge, almost stereotypical boy-interest in trucks. Why is he so interested in trucks? How can he go from an adorable Lord of the Rings sentence to walking around saying “What’s that truck?” — which, due to his developing vocal patterns sure sounded an awful lot like, um, something less age appropriate. I tried to encourage him, though. I don’t like trucks, but I started getting books about trucks, drawing pictures of trucks and learning with him.

When trucks went out, and dinosaurs came in, I learned more than I thought possible about the beasts. I swear, when I was a kid there were only five species of dinosaurs. (Yeah, I’m old. Pluto used to be a planet, too.) It wasn’t until we were eating with another family and my son took out his toys that I truly realized what I’d learned. “Nice triceratops,” said my friend. “Um, that’s clearly a styracosaurus,” I instantly replied. It was. My son smiled. And I smiled.

You see, it doesn’t matter what interests me. Or what I’m interested in. Maybe he’ll get into that nerdy stuff later on, maybe not. It’s not about me, it’s about him.

We took a single vacation during the pandemic. Before vaccinations or re-openings or the world feeling close to sane, we traveled to Rehoboth Beach, Del., during the coldest week of winter. We stayed in a virtually abandoned vacation community, right on the water, and were the only people on the beach. After months of struggling through Zoom Pre-K, I saw a spark ignite. I saw my son become interested in things he had never cared about. We darted shell to shell, marveling at mussels and the washed-up bodies of horseshoe crabs. Thanks to my friend, Google, (note: Google Lens on the phone is a lifesaver) I learned that horseshoe crabs aren’t crabs at all. Who knew?

New interests, new knowledge

And did it work? Is he learning?

Well, here’s our bedtime conversation last night:

Me: I’m so proud of all the growth you’ve shown. You’re done with Pre-K, and you’ve learned so much. You’re growing up fast.

Kid: Well, you taught me a lot.

Me: I appreciate that, but I’m still very proud of you.

Kid: I am pretty grown up. I’ll be a daddy like you soon, and then I’ll have 15 kids … no, probably 9,000 kids.

Me: Nine thousand, huh?

Kid: Yup. I think I might need a wife first.

Me: Might help.

Kid: I grow up fast, though. I mean I don’t know everything like you. I don’t even know what’s in the deep.

Me: The deep?

Kid: You know … the deepest part of the ocean. The midnight zone. I don’t really know what’s there.

Me: Yeah, well, I think you already know more than me about that. You know, ever since the beach —

Kid: Oh, sure I know about hydrothermal vents, yeti crabs, gulper eels, anglerfish, [continues naming like a hundred other things for five minutes] … but I definitely don’t know everything. What am I gonna teach my 9,000 kids?

Me: I’m sure you’ll think of something.

And that brings me back to today. The truth is that dinos and the ocean were easy. I knew nothing about them, but it’s easy to encourage something you don’t mind. But bugs … bugs are gross. Here in the Mid-Atlantic there’s a perpetual scream, roughly 10 billion decibels loud. It’s the so-called Brood X cicadas. (I’m pretty sure Broodix is a planet from Star Trek. Or it should be.) I’m typing this with the windows closed. I can still hear them. And they’re swarming all over the window screen.

But it’s also a once-in-a-17-year event for my son to embrace. Did you know cicadas have five eyes (three ocelli between the two big red ones?) or that only the males “sing”? I didn’t know those things, but my son taught me. He taught me they’re harmless and ultimately, if he wants to take some extra slide trips with his friends, whether I like those friends or not …

It’s not about me. It’s about him.

About the author

Chris Mannino lives with his wife and two children. As a full-time stay-at-home dad, he considers himself a lion tamer, cat herder, sanitation manager, personal chef, private teacher and more. Somehow, he also manages to squeeze in a writing career: crafting fantasy stories from picture books through adult. Visit him at www.ChristopherMannino.com

Dad embraces kid’s interests photo: ©golubovy / Adobe Stock.

With our pandemic world finally moving toward a post-pandemic one, Barnard Center for Toddler Development Director Dr. Tovah P. Klein says it’s the perfect time for parents of young children to make needed changes in their children’s lives, such as reducing screen time.

“Children will be fine on a new routines. Any time you switch routines is a great time to say, ‘New rule,'” she says on the latest episode of The Modern Dads Podcast, themed as “What Toddlers Need Now.” While this change may meet some initial resistance, she notes how adaptive children and parents can be, with the pandemic shift in how we learn and live being perfect examples.

Klein, who wrote the parenting classic How Toddlers Thrive, talks about what our children have gained during these difficult times, dispels the theory of “learning loss” during the pandemic, and offers help on how we can thoughtfully help our kids return to camp and school with minimal separation issues.

+ Listen to ‘What Toddlers Need Now’ podcast +

Klein, who is also an adjunct associate professor at Barnard, teaches a year-long course on toddler development there. Her work focuses on young children’s social and emotional development, parental influences on early development, and parents’ experiences raising young children, including the challenges of combining work and family.

Dr. Klein served as a developmental advisor for Sesame Street and HBO films for children. She is on the advisory boards for Room to Grow, Ubuntu Education Fund, Rwanda Educational Assistance Project, LearnNow.org and Children’s Museum of Manhattan. She appears regularly on Good Morning America and her advice has appeared in The New York Times, Redbook, Parents, Slate.com, Huffington Post and countless other social media and print publications.

In her 2014 book, How Toddlers Thrive, Klein distills decades of research and experience with parents and children ages 2 to5 into a book that gives you the tools to easily navigate everyday challenges and struggles, have fewer battles and enjoy your interactions with your child and the toddler years more by seeing the world through your young child’s eyes.

A former clinical fellow at Boston Children’s Hospital with a doctorate in psychology from Duke University, Klein previously appeared on The Modern Dads Podcast in 2014.

I recently saw an iconic sign of summer’s approach: a parent teaching a child how to ride a bike. For parents, like me, who taught their children how to ride long ago, such an image triggers torrents of nostalgia.

I remember exactly where we were when my oldest daughter, Lauren, and I performed the rite of passage. In my version of trying to bubble-wrap my first kid, I insisted she learn on a paved path with grass on both sides (to absorb any falls) in a local park. As I jogged alongside her bike with the training wheels removed, I held the back of her seat to keep her steady. While she implored me “don’t let go,” of course I was letting go intermittently until she finally mastered her balance and conquered gravity. And there it was: the joy and pride of independent riding with no guiding hand necessary.

A few years ago, Lauren and I revisited her early bike-riding days via a surprising format: our “home movies.” I was in the process of converting old video files to DVDs for posterity, which I highly recommend to fellow parents to avoid digital oblivion of precious family history. When a video appeared of young, wobbly Lauren zigzagging down a sidewalk on her bike, we both laughed at the memory.

“Dad, that must have been hard for you to watch back then,” Lauren said.

“It was,” I said, acknowledging that while I was proud to record her first bike ride at that time, I also feared a wicked wipeout and had to fight the urge to intervene. (After all, back when the modern bicycle was invented and developed in the 1800s, it was known as the “boneshaker” due to its bumpy, dangerous rides.)

Another reason I laughed was that teen Lauren could finally perceive the amount of patience and non-intervention parenting requires. While it may be physically possible for a hurried, well-intentioned parent to tie a shoe or clean a room for a child, it is not physically possible for a parent to learn how to ride a bike for his or her child. That can only be achieved by the child.

You never forget your child’s first bike ride

In hindsight, the necessity of non-intervention by parents as children learn to ride a bike may be the reason for its iconic staying power. A parent’s hand letting go of the back of the child’s bicycle seat is symbolic of so many weanings that take place throughout a child’s upbringing. A child’s first independent bike ride is also one of those moving-away-from-parents milestones that begin with crawling across your floor and end with driving away from your home. In each case, both parents and children have to let go of their fears and have faith in the universe.

The image of a hand letting go of a seat can be bittersweet, but if parents do their job well, their children will always feel the “invisible hand” of their parents ready to steady them whenever needed. If children’s lives get wobbly, out-of-balance or “boneshaking,” they will know they can still ask for an invisible hand from their aging parents. Ideally, such a stabilizing hand becomes unnecessary in adulthood, but it’s certainly comforting for aging children to know that it is always at the ready.