screen time Archives - City Dads Group https://citydadsgroup.com/tag/screen-time/ Navigating Fatherhood Together Mon, 30 Sep 2024 17:00:02 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 https://i0.wp.com/citydadsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/CityDads_Favicon.jpg?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 screen time Archives - City Dads Group https://citydadsgroup.com/tag/screen-time/ 32 32 105029198 No Restrictions on Screen Time? Works for This Family https://citydadsgroup.com/screen-time-restrictions-dont-work/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=screen-time-restrictions-dont-work https://citydadsgroup.com/screen-time-restrictions-dont-work/#respond Mon, 30 Jan 2023 12:01:00 +0000 https://citydadsgroup.com/?p=795810
1 kids unlimited screen time

One of the ongoing debates among parents is how to regulate a child’s screen time, often with moms, dads and “experts” lending their ideas on what restrictions to set. This gets evermore tricky with the increasing number of available devices (televisions, computers, tablets, cell phones) and their mobility allowing them to be viewed not only at home but almost everywhere at any time.

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages most screen time for children under age 6 and, after that, it calls for encouraging “healthy habits” that include limits on when and where screens can be used. The problem is, as The Mayo Clinic notes, “As your child grows, a one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work as well. You’ll need to decide how much media to let your child use each day and what’s appropriate.”

Clearly, no right or wrong answer exists. Parents must do what they feel is best for their child in a given circumstance. In our house we’ve adopted a perspective that somewhat goes against the norm: We have no restrictions on our children’s screen time.

Our reasons for unlimited screen time

Here are some of the main reasons we use this approach, and some of our personal results:

  1. We believe rationing a child’s screen time leads to dependency, even a sort of addiction. Living in a state of constant fear or anxiety that something we enjoy could be taken away often leads to an all-consuming obsession with that thing whenever we have it.
  2. We don’t put devices on a pedestal. As they’re constantly and readily available for our children, our kids don’t view devices as anything special. More often than not, our two children will choose to play with toys, color or read a book over using their tablets. Since they’ve grown accustomed to them always being there, there’s never been a need to have them at all times.
  3. We don’t allow an entirely free range of use when it comes to devices. Both our children’s tablets are governed by parental controls (they’re Android, and we utilize the Family Link app). We also moderate the content they’re allowed to watch so that anything they might see has already been pre-approved.

Admittedly, this approach hasn’t been entirely without issues. However, in talking to multiple other parents with a more “traditional” approach, I realized our family has had fewer arguments and complaints about devices and those we have had have been much less severe.

This approach has also allowed us to effectively “steer into the skid” in terms of how technology is being used for educational purposes. Our son is in kindergarten and like many kids, his school assigned him an iPad for classwork. Utilizing technology will become more and more prevalent as the years go by, and as parents, we want to make sure we’ve done everything possible to nurture a positive and healthy relationship between our children and their devices.

No restrictions on screen time photo: © Brocreative / Adobe Stock.

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Family Road Trip Survival Depends on You Being Prepared https://citydadsgroup.com/family-road-trip-survival-depends-on-you-being-prepared/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=family-road-trip-survival-depends-on-you-being-prepared https://citydadsgroup.com/family-road-trip-survival-depends-on-you-being-prepared/#respond Wed, 18 May 2022 07:01:00 +0000 https://citydadsgroup.com/?p=793784
family road trip map 1

Whenever possible, I try to make any family vacation into a family road trip. Typically, the threshold of cost versus time savings I use usually equates to roughly 12 to 14 hours of driving time. Anything longer than that, I look hard into flying or even taking the train. 

I make some exceptions to that rule. For example, my family will be taking a one-week vacation to Myrtle Beach over the summer. The drive itself will be close to 20 hours; however, the cost savings of renting a car and driving from Kansas City rather than flying made me look hard at the possibility of driving. 

We have prepared ourselves for a road trip of this length. We have traveled from Kansas City to Denver which is nine hours and “survived.” Not that having kids in tow didn’t make it difficult at times. Children have unexpected bathroom needs. They get bored looking out the window. They don’t like your choice in music. And they constantly ask, “Are we there yet?”

Whether it’s been one hour or nine, here are some tips that have helped us get by and make the most of the time on the road together. 

Plan your breaks for your family road trip

The first two tips for surviving your family road trip go hand in hand. Before heading out the door, have an idea of where you will be stopping along the way. Plan your big breaks, such as lunch and dinner, along with some of the sites that you want to see before reaching your ultimate destination. This allows you to be able to tell your family how far from a specific stop you are. It can also help avoid many of the small bathroom breaks when you can tell your kids that you will be stopping in 15 or 30 minutes. 

Expect to stop more often than planned

Going into a family road trip with a plan of where to stop is always ideal. However, understand there likely will be unplanned, and often necessary, breaks. Acknowledging this will ease your stress level when it happens. It will also make it easier to accept you won’t beat the original ETA your GPS gave you when you left the house. 

Bring many snacks, drinks

Bringing a cooler of favorite snacks will help your kids survive the family road trip. Make sure to pack some healthy items so they aren’t eating junk food the entire time. Bring your own water bottles and fill them up whenever you do stop to save on the cost of drinks.

As the main driver for many of our trips, I like to sneak a few of my favorites under my seat. Whether it is Australian licorice, a bag of beef jerky or some cracked pepper sunflower seeds, I’m ready when hunger hits.

Forget screen time limits

The family road trip is one time when screen time becomes almost unlimited. It may appear that the motive behind this is only so we aren’t being constantly bothered by a bored child. Yes, it helps the time pass for them but it also helps us as a family stay on the road longer and get to our destination sooner with minimal breaks. 

There is a caveat though. We do make them take breaks every couple of hours from the screens. There is nothing worse than a kid getting car sick from playing video games the entire time on the road. I speak from experience. 

Make a game out of your family road trip

When the kids are not on their screens, play some old-school games on your family road trip. Try “I spy,” which can always be interesting when you are playing with younger kids. Make bingo cards ahead of time with various states so you can play the license plate game. Get creative!

Good headphones for the passengers

When we leave on any family road trip, the one thing we will turn around for is headphones. There is nothing more distracting than hearing one of your kids playing on their Nintendo Switch in the back seat while you are listening to a baseball game or a podcast on the radio. Their electronic devices are a way to keep them occupied but, as the driver, the only thing keeping you entertained is the car radio. Make sure that you can hear it and listen to what you want.

A version of this previous appeared on The Rookie Dad. Photo: ©Yakobchuk Olena / Adobe Stock.

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Prime Time Parenting Lessons From My Childhood https://citydadsgroup.com/prime-time-parenting-lessons-from-my-childhood/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=prime-time-parenting-lessons-from-my-childhood https://citydadsgroup.com/prime-time-parenting-lessons-from-my-childhood/#comments Wed, 23 Mar 2022 07:01:00 +0000 https://citydadsgroup.com/?p=793325
prime time parenting family watching tv 1

The string of celebrity deaths that started this year affected me, as a parent, more than they usually do. 

The seemingly ageless Betty White, weeks from her 100th birthday.

Less than a week later, we lost legendary and groundbreaking screen actor Sidney Poitier.

Then came beloved TV dad and standup legend Bob Saget.

I always mourn the loss of life no matter what the person’s age. However, these three in particular made me very introspective about my own mortality and life.

I only saw a handful of movies by Sidney Poitier, but I knew he was pioneer for Black actors. He paved the way for many people of color in an industry that had long regulated them to roles like servants or uneducated punch lines. Poitier did so by taking on roles where he showed himself to be smart, eloquent and as fierce as they come. The ambitious son in A Raisin in the Sun. The compassionate but no-nonsense teacher in To Sir, With Love. So many more. He will always be considered one of the greatest actors ever. 

And I can tell you, with all honesty, that being Black and having the last name Gibbs, I often re-wrote his famous quote from In The Heat of The Night to my own benefit. However, the impact of introducing myself by authoritatively saying, “THEY CALL ME, MR. GIBBS!” goes directly over the heads of elementary school children I substitute teach.

Prime time parenting lessons learned

Betty White and Bob Saget were different. I watched them weekly growing up as part of my Friday and Saturday evening TV routine with my parents. Those nights included watching many now classic feel-good family shows like Family Matters, Amen, 227, Perfect Strangers and Empty Nest. Those prime time family shows shaped my youth. Several showed strong Black families with educated and hardworking parents like mine. Seeing those people on screen, as well as IRL in my home, let me know I too could achieve that.

But those prime time memories of being on the couch watching Golden Girls and Full House remain my fondest. I remember laughing with my mom at the crazy stories of Betty White’s “Rose” told about her hometown of St. Olaf. I clearly recall the goofy-yet-knowing smile creeping across the face of Bob Saget’s loveable “Danny Tanner” as he taught his girls right from wrong. (Later in life, I gained a newfound appreciation for Saget’s acting skills. This was when he revealed himself to be closer to the raunchy Redd Foxx than squeaky clean Jim Gaffigan in his standup act and post-Full House movie appearances.)

This is all to note that we no longer live in that age. “Must See TV” night and appointment television are gone. We can binge-watch an entire season of a show in a less than a day then move onto another. And, as parents with increasing responsibilities, it easier to plop your kids alone in front of the TV so you can take a break time rather than share family time. 

But I would challenge you to do something a bit different next time your kids want to watch The Thundermans or Family Reunion or even SpongeBob SquarePants:  WATCH IT WITH THEM.

Make TV time a learning time

You may think these shows are for kids and harmless. However, every once in a while, sit down and watch in right along with them. You may roll your eyes at the predictable stories line, overacting and terrible jokes (not all the different from shows of our youth, am I right), but put them in context. Adults write these shows. Many have adult concepts and mature themes slipped in that your kids might have questions about. They may also promote bad habits that are often dismissed by well-placed laugh track.

This is not to say that these shows are sinister, but they also should not be seen as babysitters. Make more attempts to watch your kids’ shows with them and when the credits start to roll, ask questions.

What happened in the show? What themes and lessons emerged? Do they have questions about what they where watching? Did anything words or actions need explaining? While binge watching can be fun, taking time in between shows to find some tangible takeaways they can grown on can be valuable.

These can be something as simple as how to be nicer to your siblings. These could be more complex, such as how to deal with the death of a loved one. Watching Golden Girls as a child really helped me see the value in long-lasting friendships (and how amazing cheesecake can be). Amen, for example, showed me the power of faith, a trend continued in the Family Reunion on Netflix. Full House showed a single dad trying to be a great example to his kids. 

So, make that TV time with your kids impactful and active. Your kids will be better for it because you showed interest in something they like. It might be a somewhat out of your comfort zone, but you will be a better parent because you will get what make your kids laugh, what makes them cry and maybe a little bit more about makes them tick.

Prime time parenting photo: ©Prostock-studio / Adobe Stock.

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How to Help Children’s Brain Development in a High-Tech World https://citydadsgroup.com/how-to-help-childrens-brain-development-in-a-high-tech-world/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-help-childrens-brain-development-in-a-high-tech-world https://citydadsgroup.com/how-to-help-childrens-brain-development-in-a-high-tech-world/#comments Wed, 13 Oct 2021 11:01:55 +0000 https://citydadsgroup.com/?p=792231
child brain development 1

How can you help develop the inner workings of your child’s brain? According to a new book, you must “think outside” our culture’s normal associations with the brain.

In The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain, science writer Annie Murphy Paul declares the common metaphor of the brain-as-computer is flawed and limiting. “Our culture insists that the brain is the sole locus of thinking, a cordoned-off space where cognition happens, much as the workings of my laptop are sealed inside its aluminum case,” she writes. “This book argues otherwise.”

The book focuses on the problems such a “brainbound” perspective creates in modern schools and workplaces. But many of Murphy Paul’s well-researched insights have relevance for today’s parents, especially given our ever-increasing technological saturation. Indeed, technological devices often “isolate” both adults and growing children “from one another, sealing us within our individual digital bubbles,” she writes.

Benefits of eye contact, gestures, conversation

The key for parents is to think beyond the screen as much as possible when interacting with their children. Some of these strategies for “extending the brain” are instinctive, but Murphy Paul’s research often pinpoints the reasons that can help parents be more intentional.

For example, we know that from birth a baby starts tracking a parent’s eyes, and parents naturally return the gaze. But Murphy Paul explains the importance of eye contact is actually built into our eyes. “Such gaze-following is made easier by the fact that people have visible whites of the eyes,” she writes. “Humans are the only primates so outfitted, an exceptional status that has led scientists to propose the ‘cooperative eye hypothesis’ — the theory that our eyes evolved to support cooperative social interactions. ‘Our eyes see, but they are also meant to be seen,’ notes science writer Ker Than.”

Beyond eye contact, gestures are another bodily way to “extend” a young child’s brain development. Murphy Paul explains “linguists theorize that gesture was humankind’s earliest language …  all of us, then, are effectively bilingual.” She notes that “well before babies can talk, they are waving, beckoning, holding up their arms in a wordless signal: pick me up.” Parents help “translate” the child’s gestures. Growing children, therefore, benefit from an environment rich in both words and gestures like pointing. Gestures can be especially helpful when a parent and child read a picture book together, which is essentially preparing the child’s brain to “read” the outside world as well.

As young children age, their brains and social skills benefit tremendously from as much face-to-face conversation as possible. The reason? “The body is the bridge,” Murphy Paul writes.

During conversations, “the body acts as a critical conduit, supplying the brain with the visceral information it lacks. … When interacting with other people, we subtly and unconsciously mimic their facial expressions, gestures, posture, and vocal pitch,” she writes. “Then … we perceive what the other person is feeling because we feel it in ourselves.” Think of how the lack of body language often impacts the quality of e-mail or of what Murphy Paul calls the “stutter-stop rhythm of asynchronous text exchanges.”

Role of exercise, motion, nature in brain development

Parents can also bodily “extend” a child’s brain development via frequent exercise and exposure to nature. Movement while learning new information can actually improve recall (hence we “never forget how to ride a bike”). Other ways to capitalize on this connection might be to encourage children to use their fingers when learning to count, act out stories they read, and write their thoughts in a journal. As Murphy Paul states, “whenever possible, we should offload information, externalize it, move it out of our heads and into the world.”

The value of exposure to nature in our increasingly digital (and urban) world cannot be overstated. In terms of brain development, Murphy Paul explains “children’s play is more imaginative when they are outdoors than when they are inside, research has shown; natural play spaces are less structured and more varied, and the props children may come across (leaves, pebbles, pinecones) have no purpose predetermined by teachers or parents.” Even if nature is hard to access, benefits can still result from home environments with natural light and growing plants. 

On a larger scale, Murphy Paul notes the paradox of nature’s effect in our high-tech age. “The time we spend scrutinizing our small screens leads us to think small, even as it enlarges and aggrandizes our sense of self,” she writes. “Nature’s vastness — the unfathomable scale of the ocean, of the mountains, of the night sky — has the opposite effect. It makes us feel tiny, even as it opens wide our sense of the possible.”

In her conclusion, Murphy Paul returns to the pitfalls of the brain-as-computer metaphor. “We should resist the urge to shunt our thinking along the linear path appropriate to a computer — input, output, done — and instead allow it to take a more winding route,” she writes. Such a route would embed brain-extensions into our family life as much as possible.

Parents do some of this instinctively, but Murphy Paul’s book is a reminder that while today’s technology has many benefits, it also tends to limit brain development linked to our bodies, environments and relationships. In other words, we don’t want our growing children to just “use their heads,” but to “extend their minds” as well.

Child brain development photo: © denisismagilov / Adobe Stock.

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No Screens on School Nights: Can It Make Better Families? https://citydadsgroup.com/no-screens-on-school-nights-can-it-make-better-families/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=no-screens-on-school-nights-can-it-make-better-families https://citydadsgroup.com/no-screens-on-school-nights-can-it-make-better-families/#comments Mon, 27 Sep 2021 07:01:00 +0000 https://citydadsgroup.com/?p=792084
screen time no screens kids watch tablet under covers bed

“No screens on school nights.”

It’s the newest rule around our house. Before you think I turned into the sinister dad who banned dancing in Footloose, hear me out.

Screen time isn’t evil; it just needs to be used in moderation.

Our family started out allowing two 15-minute sessions of screen time per day. All was well. It became a problem when those 15 minutes turned into 30 minutes, then 45 minutes or longer. Our kids were coming home from school and quickly arguing who was getting what screen. They would also spend far too much time playing Minecraft or watching kids play with toys on YouTube. (Why kids would prefer to watch someone play with a toy rather than actually play with a toy themselves is beyond me).

Our kids weren’t interacting with each other or with me or my wife. They weren’t burning off any extra physical energy that didn’t get out of their system during their 15-minute recess (yes, 15-minute recess.) They were restless at bedtime, whined when we told them to get off their screens and whined again asking when they could get back on their screens.

It wasn’t working out.

Limiting screen time didn’t really help and eliminating screens altogether seemed a little unnecessary. My wife and I devised a new plan: “No Screens on School Nights.”

In the two months since we started this new approach, it’s worked really well for our family. The kids play together more. They are more creative, less whiny and go to bed easier at night — likely because they’ve exhausted themselves with physical play and they haven’t been staring at the blue light of a screen for an hour right before bed. On the weekends, we go back to giving them tokens to use for 15 minutes of screen time at a shot. Since our kids aren’t on screens during the week, we don’t feel bad if we let them stay on their devices a little longer on these days.

This system may not be for everyone. However, if you’re frustrated with your own kids’ relationship with whatever screen they choose, a “No Screens on School Nights” policy may be something to consider for your family too.

A version of this first appeared on Indy’s Child.

Screen time photo: © Africa Studio / Adobe Stock.

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What Toddlers Need Now as We Shift Toward a Post-Pandemic Life https://citydadsgroup.com/what-toddlers-need-now-as-we-shift-toward-a-post-pandemic-life/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-toddlers-need-now-as-we-shift-toward-a-post-pandemic-life https://citydadsgroup.com/what-toddlers-need-now-as-we-shift-toward-a-post-pandemic-life/#respond Mon, 24 May 2021 07:00:06 +0000 https://citydadsgroup.com/what-toddlers-need-now-as-we-shift-toward-a-post-pandemic-life/

With our pandemic world finally moving toward a post-pandemic one, Barnard Center for Toddler Development Director Dr. Tovah P. Klein says it’s the perfect time for parents of young children to make needed changes in their children’s lives, such as reducing screen time.

“Children will be fine on a new routines. Any time you switch routines is a great time to say, ‘New rule,'” she says on the latest episode of The Modern Dads Podcast, themed as “What Toddlers Need Now.” While this change may meet some initial resistance, she notes how adaptive children and parents can be, with the pandemic shift in how we learn and live being perfect examples.

Klein, who wrote the parenting classic How Toddlers Thrive, talks about what our children have gained during these difficult times, dispels the theory of “learning loss” during the pandemic, and offers help on how we can thoughtfully help our kids return to camp and school with minimal separation issues.

+ Listen to ‘What Toddlers Need Now’ podcast +

tovah p. klein what toddlers need now thrive
Dr. Tovah P. Klein high fives some toddlers on swings.

Klein, who is also an adjunct associate professor at Barnard, teaches a year-long course on toddler development there. Her work focuses on young children’s social and emotional development, parental influences on early development, and parents’ experiences raising young children, including the challenges of combining work and family.

Dr. Klein served as a developmental advisor for Sesame Street and HBO films for children. She is on the advisory boards for Room to GrowUbuntu Education FundRwanda Educational Assistance Project, LearnNow.org and Children’s Museum of Manhattan. She appears regularly on Good Morning America and her advice has appeared in The New York Times, Redbook, Parents, Slate.com, Huffington Post and countless other social media and print publications.

In her 2014 book, How Toddlers Thrive, Klein distills decades of research and experience with parents and children ages 2 to5 into a book that gives you the tools to easily navigate everyday challenges and struggles, have fewer battles and enjoy your interactions with your child and the toddler years more by seeing the world through your young child’s eyes.

A former clinical fellow at Boston Children’s Hospital with a doctorate in psychology from Duke University, Klein previously appeared on The Modern Dads Podcast in 2014.

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‘Screened Out’ Movie Asks: Can We Regain Control of Our Screen Time https://citydadsgroup.com/screened-out-movie-screen-time/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=screened-out-movie-screen-time https://citydadsgroup.com/screened-out-movie-screen-time/#respond Mon, 25 May 2020 11:00:15 +0000 https://citydadsgroup.com/?p=786867
screened out movie mom and daughter on cell phones on bench
Screened Out is a new thought-provoking movie about the damage being done to all generations by our being glued to our phones.

While out walking the dog this morning, I witnessed a near-tragic accident as a biker and a truck almost collided.

The truck was, of course, driving too fast and barreling down my street. The biker, a young girl around 13, was merging into the street, also cruising down the road, eager to reach her destination. It was one of those moments where, for some reason, you happen to look up seconds before something bad happens to witness something horrible. I looked up and saw this girl, riding one handed and glancing down at her other hand. In that other hand was her phone.

The driver of the truck saw her, swerved out of the way and slowed. The girl looked up, slightly aware of what could have just happened, then quickly put the phone in her fanny pack and pedaled past me and the pup. I locked eyes with the truck driver and together we both shook our heads in disbelief.

In the new documentary about screen time, aptly titled Screened Out, Dark Star Pictures, a company whose mission is to create thought-provoking cinema, has done a great job. The film has, to me, proven to be riveting, but has forced me into self introspection, looking at my own screen habits and how they have come to be.

In a shockingly short amount of time, technology has changed by leaps and bounds. Perhaps in 15 years we will see another massive shift in how we communicate, interact and work. It could all change, but one thing that is for sure, this new wave of screens and smart phones has drastically changed our lives. Screened Out talks about how we have a whole new generation, mostly our children, for whom always having a screen in hand or nearby is not a change in their lives. This is their lives. They are not able to understand life without being connected, and we need to help them set healthy boundaries of knowing when to “unplug.”

One of my favorite subjects to bore my kids with is rambling on about what technology was like back when I was a kid. They moan and groan, hoping I will change the subject to something less “fascinating” as they say with sarcasm. Eventually I am met with looks of confusion as they try to grasp the concept of one phone, connected to a wall, for all the family to use. I remember visiting my grandparents in rural Michigan when they had a party line. For you young readers out there, that is a shared line that several families on the road use, so if you picked up the receiver and heard your neighbor speaking, you have would hang up and hope that in awhile the line would open up.

Screened Out shows its audience extreme cases of screen-time abuse. It is these stories that expose our own overuse and just how detrimental it is, not only to ourselves, but to our children who look to us for guidance and leadership. Fully developed brains have to model the right behavior for our children who really need to unplug to have better mental and physical health. I myself experience frustration when I realize that I’ve subconsciously picked up my phone to click on the various social media apps that call my name. What am I doing scrolling through Facebook again? What level of addiction do I have with my phone? How difficult will it be to untether myself from this device?

Screened Out is important for all parents to watch as it helps us to understand just how much damage is being done to our toddlers, our school-aged children, our teenagers and even ourselves by staring for hours at our phones. This is nothing new — we already know about the screen problems. The question is: Do we want to know this? Or is it easier to just ignore how bad it is because it feels so good?

Screened Out will be released digitally on May 26, 2020.

bryan grossbauerABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bryan Grossbauer is an actor, musician, former teacher and full-time stay-at-home dad to two children. A member of our NYC Dads Group, he and his family live in New Rochelle and enjoy traveling, hiking, and live music. A version of this piece first appeared on his blog, Dig it, Daddy-O.

Screened Out movie photo: Contributed

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Summer Goals Help Kids Have Fun, Keep Parents Sane https://citydadsgroup.com/summer-goals-routines-kids/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=summer-goals-routines-kids https://citydadsgroup.com/summer-goals-routines-kids/#respond Mon, 09 Jul 2018 13:51:53 +0000 https://citydadsgrpstg.wpengine.com/?p=735502
father swings children on beach in sunset silhouette summer goals

School’s out! It’s time to set some summer goals and get into yourself and the kids into a routine.

I’ve set a few rules for the summer while I’m home with my kids full-time, so these summer goals are now ours:

Screen time

Time spent on devices is always a tricky subject in our household. I like the idea of allowing them time to use screens each day for a limited time, but in the past that screen time bleeds into longer and longer periods. Our family usually does better with screens on Friday afternoons and weekends only, which is what we did all school year. We will likely stick to this plan. Although ask me again in a few weeks, things may change.

Bedrooms

If we keep our screen days the same as last school year, it’s easy to make sure the kids have their rooms cleaned each week before they are allowed to use their devices.

Meals

I’m thinking I can get my kids to plan and cook one dinner each week. They could search cookbooks, write out the grocery list, prep the ingredients and cook. It will be fun for them and a break from the usual routine for me.

Laundry

In addition to getting my kids to cook, I’m thinking this might be a good year to get my kids to fold and sort their own laundry. My kids already put their own clothes away, but currently, I wash, fold and sort for them. Having them do this work seems like the next logical step since a major goal my wife and I have for our kids is for them not to live under our roof forever.

Sleep

I cannot force my kids to sleep in, but I can make them stay in their rooms until a reasonable time in the morning. What I don’t want is six bored brown eyes staring at me at 6 a.m. Monday, asking me what the plans are for the day. In the past, we’ve also had “quiet time” for 40 minutes after lunch. It’s a good way for my kids to get a break from me and one another. I just need to once again convince them it’s not a punishment.

Fun

Summer won’t be all work and no play. I plan to go to as many Indy Indians games as time and weather will permit. It’s truly a place where I get as much enjoyment being there as my kids do. We will also swim ourselves exhausted as much as possible. I am hopeful that BB will learn to ride her bike this summer as well. We took the training wheels off a while back, but have yet to get past the “me running holding on to her seat while she keeps her balance for three feet” stage. I hope she gets the concept of bike riding in time for us to go on a family bike ride or two this summer.

As with all goals, I’m sure we will exceed some of these summer goals and fall short on others. What summer goals does your family have for this summer?

A version of this first appeared on Indy’s Child. Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

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Addictive Technology Causing Concern about Children’s Health https://citydadsgroup.com/addictive-technology-screen-time/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=addictive-technology-screen-time https://citydadsgroup.com/addictive-technology-screen-time/#respond Thu, 15 Mar 2018 12:46:58 +0000 https://citydadsgroup.com/nyc/?p=26251
child ipad screen time addictive technology
Addictive technology and the consequences of digital dependence toward our children’s well being is a modern parenting concern. (Photo: Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash)

“Daaaaaad! Stooooop! Let me finish!”

My son turns 14 in a few weeks. In the last few of those years, my wife and I have noticed an unpleasant trend: the more time he interacts with any sort of digital content through his laptop or mobile phone, the more difficult it is for him to control his negative impulses.

Of course, the word “addiction” didn’t cross our minds for most of this time. After all, one of these toys – his laptop – was mandated by his school for “educational purposes.” But all parents these days have heard the debates about screen time limits for children, pro and con, and it’s difficult to reconcile what to do given prevalence of technology in our everyday lives.

Then I stumbled on a book about a year ago called Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked by Adam Alter, a professor of marketing and psychology at NYU. It offers some stark warnings about personal technology designs such as how interfaces in our computing/mobile devices are saturated with constant lure. If you haven’t read it yet, please do. He also offered concise thoughts in several interviews, which are available on YouTube.

My wife and I feel very lucky to have caught this addictive technology issue early and to have accepted the reality of the gadget-saturated world we live in. We consider ourselves lucky because we understood the negative influence of “smart” devices on our kids’ behaviors early enough to be able to actively curate it – as best as we can. We’re even more lucky to have enough stoicism when setting rules for use of tech in our house and listening to our son — and now our daughter, who just turned 8 — lament about restrictions. (No, we’re not saints. Not even close. I am quite susceptible to pings, buzzes and beeps of my work and personal phone. I also use the LinkedIn business app as my digital newspaper and thought leadership channel – all through my devices.)

Combating addictive technology everyday

Based on our experience, we can see two clear bright spots:

  • We never stop talking to our kids about the dangers of addiction to devices. We also set passwords and time limits as an additional layer of control. Begrudgingly, they have come along. This helps them develop stronger emotional core.
  • We make it a point to get our kids involved in extracurricular activities like sports and arts – anything to make them do and feel things in the real world. In parallel, we try our best to curate their consumption of digital content. We don’t kid ourselves – it doesn’t always work. Just recently our daughter was watching what we thought was an innocent YouTube video of someone playing Minecraft. I was lucky enough to be near when I noticed how the character decided to …. amputate his arm!

It’s not and won’t be easy in the foreseeable future to manage our children’s exposure to technology. The pace of innovation in that field is far outpacing our cognitive abilities and ethical design is only now coming into focus. So my final word of advice is this: Pay attention and be addicted to a balance in your kids’ engagement with tech.

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Confused about Screen Time Limits for Kids? Then Listen to This https://citydadsgroup.com/screen-time-kamenetz-podcast/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=screen-time-kamenetz-podcast https://citydadsgroup.com/screen-time-kamenetz-podcast/#respond Thu, 18 Jan 2018 10:21:20 +0000 https://citydadsgrpstg.wpengine.com/?p=712996

Screen time — how much is too much for children when everywhere you go — including the classroom — you find a television, computer, gaming system, tablet or smartphones?

NPR Digital Education Correspondent Anya Kamenetz thinks she has the answer for you beleaguered  fathers and mothers.

The award-winning journalist and author appears on the latest edition of the Modern Dads Podcast to offer practical advice and research findings from her new book, The Art of Screen Time: How Your Family Can Balance Digital Media & Real Life.

Kamenetz joined NPR in 2014, working as part of a new initiative to coordinate on-air and online coverage of learning that has recently won an Edward R. Murrow Award for innovation. She has previously covered technology, innovation, sustainability and social entrepreneurship for five years as a staff writer for Fast Company magazine. Kamenetz has also contributed to The New York TimesThe Washington PostNew York Magazine, Slate, and O, the Oprah Magazine. 

The Huffington Post named her a 2010 Game Changer in Education, and she also received National Awards for Education Reporting from the Education Writers Association in 2009, 2010 and 2015.

In addition to The Art of Screen Time, she has also written four other books Generation DebtDIY U: Edupunks, Edupreneurs, and the Coming Transformation of Higher Education; and The Test.

Also on this edition of the podcast, City Dads Group contributor Whit Honea talks about how he helps his two sons fit technology and screen time into their lives.

art of screen time kamenetz

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