The end of summer vacation is looming for us parents and our kids. And, as the start of the school year draws closer, I have begun my annual tradition: the daily nagging of my children to complete the summer homework mandated by their schools. 

I am sure that I am annoying them.

And, of course, they are annoying me. 

Their procrastination and “ho-hum” attitude when thinking about picking up their books and laptops again is driving me nuts. Just as it does every summer. 

To help quell some of the household friction resulting from the impending assignments – from my 8-year-old reading a book and drawing a picture of the setting, to my 10-year-old’s storyboard of a book he’s read, to my high schoolers having two 300-page books each to read in the next 10 days – I started to devise a schedule to get the work completed by the first week of school. 

As I worked on this, I realized why my kids don’t care about this mandated summer school work. This feels like A LOT of work for little (or no) return. For both of us.

I cannot blame them. Most of their friends don’t bother with it. Why? Because they’ve never had a teacher ask them to turn in their summer homework. The simple nature of this work indicates its lack of importance.

From my teenagers’ point of view, we are the only parents who give a crap about completing summer homework. While I’ll discount their claim of being the “only kids that have to do this,” their lethargy has been taught by past years of little or no value credit given by teachers for students who had completed their summer assignments by the first day of class. If there’s no reward for the work, why do it? 

Summer homework or busy work?

For my younger kids, they see the “read a book and draw a picture” nature of their summer homework assignments and laugh at their simplicity. They feel intellectually patronized by a garbage assignment that wastes their time. Unlike my teens, though, their friends are participating (and complaining about the same BS work being asked). 

What do parents do? 

Do we stand with the schools and demand our kids complete the remedial work they have been assigned? 

Do we ignore these inconsequential assignments that only seem to increase our household tension over these next few weeks? 

I have decided to do the latter. 

There will be no more laying out study schedules. No more checking daily reading logs. No more demanding that my teens prove they have been reading through selfies sent during my working hours. And, mercifully, no more watching my kids scramble at the last minute to complete an assignment that has awarded them little more than a pat on the head. 

Enough. 

Drawing the line on summer reading assignments

It is time, I think, to stop the practice of piling homework on kids during the few months of the year they have time to decompress. Summer homework is not only meaningless, but it also unnecessarily cuts into a remarkedly short few months away from the classroom. 

What is wrong with kids (and parents) just chilling out?

Nothing.

Will reading that book and drawing its setting help my rising third grader springboard into a new school year?

No. 

Is summer homework a function of needy parents who need the credibility associated with “your school requires this” behind them to get their kids off their phones?

I think so.

Unlike past years, my kids’ summer school work will not be done when they charge into their next classroom in a few weeks.

Maybe that puts them a bit behind but maybe it doesn’t. 

No matter, it ensures that I will be spending the next few weeks helping them enjoy their fleeting freedom instead of annoying them with the structure that can certainly wait until the attendance bell rings. 

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This blog post is part of the #NoDadAlone campaign. Fathering Together/City Dads Group, the National At-Home Dad Network, and Fathers Eve are joining forces to amplify messages that help dads recognize we are not alone! Follow #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and learn more at NoDadAlone.com.

Photo by Oleksandr P via Pexels.

The alarm went off this morning just after six. And my daily routine began: breakfast, drive the kids to camp, work, pick up kids, work, dinner, hang with kids, and work.

Oh, how could I forget – ensure kids have done their summer work for school.

Yup, that’s pretty much my daily routine.

Do you know what that reminds me of? The rest of the year!

Summers past were different. I remember when the season could not come fast enough and it could not stay for long enough. Sure, it changed over the years but all had an element of magic.

My boyhood summers were full of languid days of stickball, baseball cards and fireflies. Summer was simple.

Eventually, part-time jobs – busboy, cashier, stock boy – were part of my summer. But so were swimming pools and late nights hanging out at friends’ houses. Summer was energy.

Then college ended and I traveled during those next summers, going to the Middle East and Europe multiple times and there was time spent time out West. Summer was exploration.

Graduate school years brought more summers of part-time jobs and exploring New York City. Summer was wonder.

Then came the publishing industry and the marketing departments of architectural and engineering firms. July and August nights were for friends, dates and destinations. Summer was socialization.

Finally, there were over 10 years as a teacher, and summer meant a part-time job for extra money (if there is such a thing for the middle class). Summer was recuperation.

I’m sure some of those things filled your summers. Sadly, I’m back to the present.

I killed summer. It’s mundane. It’s the workday grind. It’s the concern about bills. It’s the lack of time.

Is summer done? Are July and August just like February and March save for sweat and brown grass? Turn off the heater, and turn on the air conditioner.

Well, my family and I will go on vacation (budget permitting), the kids are in camp, and bedtime is more flexible. And summer work is not the same as homework. So, there is some easing of the grind.

But …

I do miss the ease of my past summers. I miss the feeling that summer was one long day at the park. Possibilities existed, and if they arose, there was time to explore.

I know, I know. It’s responsibility and adulthood. Most people are in jobs that see little difference in terms of workload during the summer. For me, however, this is a new phenomenon. I’m in my adjustment period. Don’t worry though – I’ll be fine.

It’s just I killed summer, and I miss it.

A version of this first appeared on Me, Myself and Kids. Photo: ©Zoran Zeremski / Adobe Stock.

Summer dad jokes are hot this time of year, kids. Hotter than cargo shorts. Hotter than shiny, white New Balance sneakers. Hotter than, dare we say it, when the wife started a bonfire with our cargo shorts and New Balance sneakers.

Yep, almost as hot as those Father’s Day dad jokes we gave you were. Certainly not as painful as those grill burns we got from the cookout that day, though. Or the burns from those Fourth of July dad jokes — no, wait, those were powder burns from the firecracker “incident.”

That’s why we plumbed the depths of the internet for the best and worst summer dad jokes, riddles and puns so you can get laughs around the swimming pool or on the beach that are not related to your love handles. We promise these dad jokes are kid-approved and mom-tested for maximum groans. Just ask my family.

So if you’d enjoyed our other dad jokes compilations, you really should see a doctor. But while you’re in the waiting room (or just waiting to unleash some groan-worthy autumn dad jokes), check out these …

Best/worst summer dad jokes for kids

Q. Where do Jersey cows go on their summer vacation?
A. Moo York!

Q. What do you do if you get rejected for a job at the sunscreen company?
A. Reapply.

Q. What do sheep do on a summer weekend?
A. Have a baa-baa-cue.

Q. Why are mountains the funniest places to go for summer vacation?
A. Because they are hill-arious. 

Q. What do snowmen do in summer?
A. Chillout.

Q. What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?
A. A watermelon.

Q. Why are basketball players afraid of going on summer vacation?
A. They don’t want to get called for traveling.

Q. What do bees say during a heat wave?
A. Boy, it’s swarm!

Q. Where do sheep go on vacation?
A. The Baa-hamas

Q. Why doesn’t summer have any friends?
A. Because it’s not cool enough.

Q. Why did the robot go on vacation?
A. He needed to recharge his batteries.

Q. What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
A. By live stream.

Q. Where do sharks go on vacation?
A. Finland.

Q. What do you call a snowman in summer?
A. A puddle.

Q. What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish?
A. Swimming trunks.

Q. Who’s Irish and stays outside all summer?
A. Patty O’Furniture.

Q. Why don’t mummies ever take a summer vacation?
A. They’re afraid to unwind.

Q. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
A. To make up for his miserable summer.

Q. Why do bananas use sunscreen?
A. So they don’t peel.

Q. Where does fruit like to vacation?
A. In Pear-is.

Q. What did the pig say on a hot summer day?
A. I’m bacon!

Q. Where do ghosts like to go to cool off in the summer heat?
A. Lake Eerie.

Q. Why was the boy excited for summer’s arrival?
A. After hearing dad jokes all winter, he couldn’t wait to retaliate with some son-burns.

Photo: © Rawpixel.com / Adobe Stock.

Summer 2021 is finally here and NYC outdoor public pools in all five boroughs will reopen Saturday, June 26, for all to enjoy. However, there are some rule changes (grrr – dang, COVID-19!) to know before enjoying these free treasures.

All pool goers will be required to wear a face mask at certain times, according to the NYC Parks pool page (you’ll find the locations of all the pools there). These are when:

• Entering the pool facility
• In locker rooms or bathrooms
• When on the pool deck

Masks are not to be worn in the water, thankfully.

And that’s it. Although the city’s indoor pools remain closed and many aquatic classes have been cancelled because of the pandemic, much of rest is the same as in recent years when it comes to swim fun in New York City’s boroughs.

NYC outdoor public pools, which are free, will be open daily from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. for open swims, with a break for pool cleaning between 3 and 4 p.m. Early morning and late night adult lap swim hours are also available at some locations. The city may still host free “learn to swim” programs but many other aquatic programs are definitely off.

Rules for outdoor water fun – sunscreen included

The big things to know, mask requirements aside, are:

• You must have on a swimsuit to enter the pool area.
• Men’s swimsuits must have a lining, and yes — you might be ask to prove it.
• If you need a shirt or hat to protect you from the sun, they must be plain WHITE. No shirts with colors on them on the deck.
• Swim diapers required for babies and the yet-to-be potty trained.
• Most places have stroller parking but getting a space is not guaranteed.
• No floaties or water toys.
• No food, glass bottles, electronic devices, and newspapers, either!
• If you plan to use a locker, bring a sturdy lock. No luggage locks.

Free, broad-spectrum SPF 50 sunscreen will be available in dispensers at all the city’s outdoor pools, thanks to the American Academy of Dermatology’s SPOT Skin Cancer.

NYC public outdoor pools are open through Sept. 12, 2021.

Check out the NYC ‘Cool Pools’

The Cool Pools initiative has upgraded 16 NYC public outdoor pools in recent years that hadn’t had major renovations since being built in the 1970s. These spruced up facilities have:

• fun summer-themed wall art
• lounge chairs for sunbathing and relaxing poolside,
• cabana-style shade structures to help keep you cool, 
• plantings to make our pools greener, and
• fun and free poolside activities, including games, sports, arts and crafts, and fitness classes

You’ll find Cool Pools in each borough, but new for this year are the Van Cortlandt Pool in The Bronx and Bushwick Pool and Howard Pool in Brooklyn.

Help! I just bought a lawn edger.

I blame the pandemic, which has resulted in so many of us spending more time at home and in our yard. I’m requesting help because I’ve always associated lawn power tools with old-timey dads. Specifically, one of my childhood neighbor dads who would regularly spend hours perfecting his yard with a host of noisy contraptions.

Am I becoming that dad? But I’m a new-timey dad who spent many years as an at-home caregiver!

Maybe that doesn’t matter when it comes to yard work. Granted, I have seen a growing number of moms who mow their lawn. But dads seem to remain the vast majority of mowers, for whatever reasons. As I thought about these yard dads, a continuum of three types emerged in my mind:

1. Speedy, Low-Tech Yard Dad

This dad tends to be young, have very young children, and many domestic duties. The result is little time (and money) for yard care. He mows his lawn quickly, sometimes not even bagging the grass clippings. If he even has time to rake or sweep anything, it will be with an actual rake or broom, not a leaf blower.

During all yard work, his goal is to race back to his family responsibilities as swiftly as possible. For this dad, the children growing in the house are more important than the weeds growing in the yard. If these yard dads were to post a sign, it might read “My Yard Looks Good Enough for Now.”

2. Patient, Team-Effort Greenskeeper Father

This dad tends to be middle-aged and have tweens or teens. He has somehow managed to coax his reluctant children — usually boys, but sometimes girls — into joining him in the yard work. This dad was more common in previous generations, as there has been a decline of chores in today’s culture in favor of more schoolwork and extracurricular activities. Hence, his achievement is quite impressive. In rare cases, you may not even see this dad in his yard. The kids work all by themselves!

The appearance of this dad’s yard is usually acceptable but not perfect. Part of the reason is that he refuses to invest in gadgets like electric trimmers, for that would make his kids’ chores too easy. If the children were to post a sign, it might read “Our Yard Passed Our Father’s Inspection.”

3. Intense, Shed-of-Tools Lord of Landscaping

This dad tends to be older, and as teens move out of his house, power tools move into his yard. He glories in high-tech mowers, corded weed whackers, high-decibel leaf blowers, and (ahem) power edgers. The accumulation of these toys leads him to an obsessive delusion: “I need a shed for all these tools.”

The appearance of this dad’s yard is usually immaculate. As he dons his goggles and traipses in and out of his shed with myriad devices, he is more like a part-time landscaper than a lawn-mowing father. He spends so many hours in the yard that passersby sometimes wonder if he has been banished there by his wife. If these types of yard dads were to post a sign, it might read “My Yard Could Kick Your Yard’s Butt.”

The Yard Dads of My Life

Which brings me back to that edger I bought. While I hope to never own a shed, I have noticed my number of power tools and yard hours increasing. Reasons include my body starting to age and my nest starting to empty. But I have also noticed a new reason: nostalgia.

My own father was a Team-Effort Yard Dad, and I mowed my childhood lawn countless times as a teen. As a result, the muscle memory of yard work makes me feel young again. Until it makes me feel old again.

In a larger sense, taking good care of a lawn may simply be an aging dad’s way of transferring all the care-giving energy he used to spend on his growing children. Eventually, children no longer need intense parenting, but the yard forever demands — and rewards — attention.

Photo: © Tap10 / Adobe Stock.

I killed a thousand butterflies. It’s not my proudest moment. It happened right in front of my children, too. Not just my children, but 13 other children as well. Things could have gone better.

This past summer in Iowa, butterflies migrated right through the center of the state. It happened to coincide with my annual “dads’ trip.” This is the trip my dads’ group takes every year so we can build memories with our children. We pick a direction and go. We see the silliest of the silly. Large balls of twine or the world’s largest set of overalls. And this time, we killed at least 17% of the monarch butterfly population.

I didn’t much notice. I think that makes it worse.

Things did not go as planned on this trip. I mean, besides the butterfly massacre. Three days before we left, Penguin Books bought the rights to my at-home-dad book. It’s going to be a how-to book. It’s the culmination of a lifelong dream. When I got the call, I was over the moon.

The very next day, my brother-in-law died in a car accident.

Two days after that, I went on the dads’ trip.

It’s hard to explain the emotions I was going through at the moment. The book deal was magical. The death of a close friend was life-shattering. Can you be in your highest high while also being in your lowest low? Apparently, yes. The emotions battle each other like two prizefighters in an octagon ring. At rest stops, I was emailing my new editor about the title of my book. At the same time, I was emailing my wife about funeral arrangements. In between, the kids were staring at the butterflies in my car’s grill.

Breakdowns: mechanical and otherwise

The other dads on the trip knew what was going on. They are going to be a big part of the book because they are a big part of my life. The things we have done together is the basis for all my writing. I’m a better father because of them. They were simultaneously happy for me and sad for me, which pretty much described my mood.

I followed our convoy of minivans to our next destination. But, if I’m honest, I had no idea what that destination was. My mind was preoccupied, as one would expect. I was thinking next steps. I was worried about my children, which is why we still came on the trip. I wanted them to be around their friends. Between all of us in this group, we have 16 kids who have grown up together over the last 11 years. I wanted my kids to have support during this hard time. And I needed the support. Desperately.

Halfway through the trip, white smoke began coming out the back of my van. This was it. This was my breaking point. The anxiety attack I had threatened to overwhelm me. I was in the middle of rural Iowa which is famously known for not being near anything. Chest-high fields of corn and wheat surrounded us. I didn’t know what to do.

But I didn’t need to. I had a dads’ group.

Do you really want to know the unvarnished truth about what it’s like to have a dad’s group? What it really means? If I take away all the filters on men’s emotions, even the ones I put on my own, and speak plainly: It’s life-changing. That’s what it is. There is no better way to explain it than that. It’s joy and camaraderie. It’s having someone to lean on without having to ask. It’s guys that know absolutely what you mean when you absolutely can’t say it. There’s an understanding there that goes beyond words. It’s a look or a nod. It’s a feeling that they know what they mean to you even if the words won’t come.

Dads’ group to the rescue

“What the fuck am I going to do?” I asked at a two-pump gas station with my car caked in dead butterflies. “That’s it. I quit. I’ve got nothing left.” I was cackling. I wanted to punch something. I was losing it.

“Shut up. We’ve already got it figured out,” Jake said.

“Yup,” said Mike.

Larry already had my hood up. He was standing with Mick over the engine. Jake was getting a paper towel to check the oil.  They already had a plan to not only take care of my car, but my family. I don’t remember asking them for the plan, but apparently I didn’t need to.

At that moment, they took the weight of everything off me. The book, my brother-in-law, and the butterflies. This is what it means to be a part of a dad’s group. When you absolutely can’t lift anymore; they can.

For the rest of the trip, I was always bracketed by minivans. My oil was checked constantly. My kids were watched to free me up to deal with either the book or my extended family. I didn’t have to ask for either. It just happened. The trip went fine, and the minivan made it home. As it turns out, my very old minivan had engine sludge that caused the white smoke.  My dads got me home, and on the trip, gave me the sturdy shoulders to count on when I wasn’t sure I could even count on myself.

Even now, months later, it’s tough to write about this because I’m afraid of how I’ll be perceived sharing something so personal. In fact, I’ve written a dozen versions of this story and thrown them all out. Expressing emotion to other men is not something that comes naturally to me. Simply saying “thank you” to them feels inadequate, as if it doesn’t go far enough to truly say how I feel about them. I’m usually full of humor and laughs, a nice way to hide emotions while still expressing them. It’s uncomfortable doing it this way. It’s exposing.

It is necessary.

City Dads Group is all about empowering fatherhood. It’s a place to make connections, to learn, and to advocate for fathers. But it’s also about giving back to others what we have been given. It’s taking our experiences and handing them to the next set of guys who are involved fathers. We do this without being asked because we know. We absolutely know.

Here, I can truthfully answer the question: What does a dads’ group mean to me? This. This is what a dads’ group means, and I hope you are as lucky as I am.

Another winter blast is coming our way this week, so now is a good time to hunker down and figure out your child’s summer camp plan.

Whether it’s a series of one-week day camps or a month-long overnight adventure, you don’t want to be caught scrambling. The most popular camps fill up fast so if haven’t started looking and booking … GET TO IT!

Luckily our longtime friends at New York Family magazine and Mommy Poppins NYC make putting together a summer camp plan easier, whether you have a toddler, a tween or a teen.

Camp questions and answers here

Start with the New York Family annual Ultimate Guide to Summer Camp. You’ll find tips on how to choose the right camp for your kid, how to recognize when it’s time to try a new camp, budgeting suggestions and even help for parents with special needs children.

Next, try to attend one of its free annual camp fairs. This is where you can meet and speak directly to representatives from day and sleepaway camps from in and around the New York City area. To attend one of the following fairs, you must register first:

• Saturday, Feb. 2 — Asphalt Green, 212 North End Ave, Tribeca/Battery Park
• Saturday, Feb. 9 — Brooklyn Heights Montessori School, 9 Bergen St., Cobble Hill
• Sunday, Feb 10 — Berkeley Carroll School, 181 Lincoln Place, Park Slope

Summer camp plan for flexibility, tight budget

Mommy Poppins NYC also offers many great suggestions for your child’s summer camp experience that are especially helpful if you are on a tight budget, want more flexibility or diversity of experiences for your children.

The Summer Camp Guide for NYC Kids lists many great day and sports camp options, some of which offer single day or single week options that are the perfect way to break up the summer months without breaking your budget. And don’t forget math and science camp options or even internships for your older children.

Photo: Leon Contreras on Unsplash

According to Facebook, we are now entering the most wonderful time of the year. The “first day of school” season has started.

Soon, the entire social platform will be virtually overrun with endless photos featuring the hottest trends in back-to-school fashion, unstained and firmly pressed beneath the forced smiles of freshly scrubbed children. Next up: Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

The parents, however, are not forcing anything. The reaction shots of ecstatic moms and triumphant dads celebrating the return of academia are becoming increasingly popular. School is back from summer vacation, and the carpool is a small price to pay for the end of long, hot days with the kids at home, presumably whining about their constant wants for attention, food or water.

Frankly, I’m against it.

It’s not that I have issues with school, quite the contrary. I’m a fan of the public school system and those who dedicate so much to it. Knowledge is everything, schoolyard or otherwise. But school means early mornings and busy nights, a rigid schedule after two months spent roaming free. It is the return of homework, extracurricular practices and the long drives between.

Honestly, I’m not ready for summer to end. Just two weeks ago we were sitting on an island drinking something with mango in it — granted, it was work (I was covering a family cruise package for another website), but there were perks. And now? Now I’m packing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

This was the first year that we didn’t do any back-to-school shopping, other than some shoes and a backpack out of necessity. The boys didn’t want anything and they certainly didn’t need it. Besides, staying away from school supplies meant we could hold on to summer just a little bit longer. In theory.

We have been here before.

The photo above was the first day of school two years ago, and it is the first day of school every year. They don’t want to go back, and I want to hold on forever.

Next week the stores will have replaced pencils and paper with all the trimmings of Halloween. It will be 100 degrees outside, and we’re supposed to act like it is autumn. I’m not falling for that.

Summer is too lazy to end so quickly, but it does, like all things. It will end again this time next year, and, hopefully, another after that. It will keep stretching and ending, an oasis of sweat and smiles, long past the school bells and the echo of their ringing.

I’ll be there making sandwiches, and watching the shadows grow.

First day of school photos by Whit Honea

School’s out! It’s time to set some summer goals and get into yourself and the kids into a routine.

I’ve set a few rules for the summer while I’m home with my kids full-time, so these summer goals are now ours:

Screen time

Time spent on devices is always a tricky subject in our household. I like the idea of allowing them time to use screens each day for a limited time, but in the past that screen time bleeds into longer and longer periods. Our family usually does better with screens on Friday afternoons and weekends only, which is what we did all school year. We will likely stick to this plan. Although ask me again in a few weeks, things may change.

Bedrooms

If we keep our screen days the same as last school year, it’s easy to make sure the kids have their rooms cleaned each week before they are allowed to use their devices.

Meals

I’m thinking I can get my kids to plan and cook one dinner each week. They could search cookbooks, write out the grocery list, prep the ingredients and cook. It will be fun for them and a break from the usual routine for me.

Laundry

In addition to getting my kids to cook, I’m thinking this might be a good year to get my kids to fold and sort their own laundry. My kids already put their own clothes away, but currently, I wash, fold and sort for them. Having them do this work seems like the next logical step since a major goal my wife and I have for our kids is for them not to live under our roof forever.

Sleep

I cannot force my kids to sleep in, but I can make them stay in their rooms until a reasonable time in the morning. What I don’t want is six bored brown eyes staring at me at 6 a.m. Monday, asking me what the plans are for the day. In the past, we’ve also had “quiet time” for 40 minutes after lunch. It’s a good way for my kids to get a break from me and one another. I just need to once again convince them it’s not a punishment.

Fun

Summer won’t be all work and no play. I plan to go to as many Indy Indians games as time and weather will permit. It’s truly a place where I get as much enjoyment being there as my kids do. We will also swim ourselves exhausted as much as possible. I am hopeful that BB will learn to ride her bike this summer as well. We took the training wheels off a while back, but have yet to get past the “me running holding on to her seat while she keeps her balance for three feet” stage. I hope she gets the concept of bike riding in time for us to go on a family bike ride or two this summer.

As with all goals, I’m sure we will exceed some of these summer goals and fall short on others. What summer goals does your family have for this summer?

A version of this first appeared on Indy’s Child. Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

What are my kids doing this summer?

Nothing.

That’s right, nothing.

We’ve signed them up for zero camps. We have scheduled no play dates. Alas, we have no true idea how we might occupy four kids between the ages of 5 and 12 over the upcoming school-less months.

Yes, I’ve taken note of your full summer calendars. I hear your days will be packed. Baseball camp, fishing camp, STEM camp, robotics camp, the YMCA day school, soccer camp, your week at Disney, and a photography class!

I must say, I’m a bit jealous of the action-packed days you have ahead. I’m a bit ashamed ours might not be so glitzy.

After all, the reality of having several young children is that an activity-filled summer takes a ton of pre-planning, costs a fortune, and would likely require teaching my 12-year-old to drive himself and his two younger brothers to the next scheduled appointment.

But, just as I began to feel bad for my no-camp kids, I listened to your plans a little closer.

I hear the exhaustion in your voice already. It seems your precise summer plan has come with an unintended, intangible present – the stress associated with executing (and paying for) the plan.

All parents know this feeling well. It’s what compels us to drive two hours each night so that your little ballerina can learn from the best dance instructor in the county. It has us driving home at 9 p.m. on a school night while our fifth graders complain their seat belts prevent them from completing their math homework in the backseat.

The push for parents to plan for our kids (and the associated guilt if we don’t) is there constantly. That’s too often for my taste.

And suddenly, the shame I feel for my kids’ unscheduled summer subsides. In its place, I feel empathy for you.

Can we help you with a ride?

Would Audrey just want to hang out at our house one day? 

You have our number in case you get in a bind, right? 

We can help because my no-camp kids will be just hanging out together – swimming, riding bikes around the neighborhood, building forts on rainy days and helping us tend our newly planted garden in the backyard.

But don’t get me wrong. My kids will drive me and my wife crazy.

The bickering, fighting, over-competitiveness and resistance to afternoon naps will not cease. With so many kids, there will be one time in each day that STEM camp will sound really appealing.

But those times will come and go and my kids will, I hope, be left to do what they choose to do around us. That’s the way I remember my unscheduled summer school vacations as a child.

I remember going to the library to pick out new books to earn free tickets the Cedar Rapids Reds’ Minor League Baseball games.

The thundering sounds of my neighborhood’s herd of Big Wheel trikes still rings in my head from those summers spent with time on our hands.

When I toss the baseball toward my 5-year-old’s awaiting bat today, I will still chuckle at the recollection of the biggest kid on my childhood street, Scott, breaking two windows on our neighbor’s garage in a week during one July so many years ago.

Thinking nostalgically about summers passed probably leaves me a bit naïve for what we’re in for this unscheduled summer. But, for many reasons, I need it and I think my kids might, too.

And, while I do feel passing shame for the upcoming months I’ve left unplanned, I don’t feel the pressure to quickly devise a plan that engages each kid in some way each day. No, the only plan I have is to keep it simple – to let my kids be when I should and help them when they need me.

I’ll pitch baseballs and fill flattened bike tires.

I’ll listen to them fight and go through far too many Band-Aids.

Sure, I’ll feel badly for them when they’re bored. But, once the shame subsides, I’m looking forward to be around the house — together.

So feel free to give us a call if you need any help. We can get your Sally to dance at the same time her brother Michael needs to be picked up from soccer camp so that you can quickly make dinner. I’ll be free because I’ve planned nothing.

“Unscheduled summer” photo: Trust “Tru” Katsande on Unsplash