While stuck in typical Los Angeles traffic the other day, I wondered if my kids would ever learn to drive.

Then I thought, “Maybe I should ask, ‘Will my kids ever need to drive?'”

I know several people who never learned to drive and will never need to. In certain cities, such as New York with its extensive mass transportation system, it’s not a big deal. In other cities, such as my Los Angeles, it is absolutely necessary (as the song goes, nobody walks in L.A.). But technology has been advancing at such a rapid pace that in 10 years instead of getting a driver’s license or having a casual conversation with the Uber or Lyft driver, my boys will probably call an automated car through an AI device installed in everyone’s house. If they ever own a car, it will probably be self-driving.

This past summer, a group of us dads spent some time at a friend’s cabin. We all had different technology with us — smartphones, laptops, gaming consoles and more — and it became a game exchanging and playing with new equipment. Then our host said something I find myself thinking about a lot.

“Do you remember who was at your sixth birthday party?” he asked,

I replied, “No way, that was like 40 years ago!”

“Any pictures from any of your birthdays?” he asked.

“A few I suppose.”

He put his virtual reality (VR) goggles on me and said, “This is how our kids are going to remember their birthdays.”

There it was – his 6-year-old daughter’s birthday party in full immersive virtual reality.

What will technology be like in another 40 years, I constantly wonder. What about in another 20 years … even another five?

My kids will have plenty of pictures and videos from their childhood, thanks to our ever-present smartphones. I wonder what their own kids will say about being able to experience, not just hear about, those days and years before they were born. The sheer difference is mind-boggling.

But at what point does technology surpass science fiction and imagination, consuming all our time and focus? Or has that happened already?

Since one of the things I dislike most is driving, I am fascinated by all these new options for getting around. Technology is where dreams can arise from. But it’s also where nightmares can come from. I am both excited and scared for my kids’ future.

Regardless of what comes, I still believe driving a stick shift is a good life skill so I’ll be imparting my old-school ways on them.

I can just hear me now, “In my day …”.

+ + +

This blog post, which first ran on our L.A. Dads Group blog in 2017 and has since been updated, is part of the #NoDadAlone campaign. Fathering Together/City Dads Group, the National At-Home Dad Network, and Fathers Eve are joining forces to amplify messages that help dads recognize we are not alone! Follow #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and learn more at NoDadAlone.com.

Photo by Pixabay via Pexels.

Happy Father’s Day

 Sunday 8:30am:

I am making a bagel while putting away clean dishes, waiting for my coffee to be done brewing and singing along with Pearl Jam. My boys are watching Larvas on Netflix in the living room and my wife is back asleep in bed (she was probably up at 5am with Mason). Miles turns 8 this Saturday. This is my 8th Fathers Day?!?!

This is fatherhood at it’s best

I am not bragging, but more enjoying this parenting bliss that can go as fast as it comes. The first full week of summer had a bit of a rough beginning but ended amazing. I feel like I am standing in the eye of a hurricane – I want to hold on to this as long as I can!

I took a big step back from social media to re-evaluate what was happening in my life. People ask if I am ok, worried I might be depressed. It’s actually the opposite, I haven’t been happier and more relaxed in a long time. I appreciate things more, I am communicating with my family better. Changing my focus has been awesome, but not without some downfalls.

 The time is flying by faster everyday. I rarely see my friends and although it does make me a little sad, I am happy to know that when I do see them it won’t be long until we fall right back into each other’s world laughing about old time and making new memories.

Fathers gather together

Last night was an amazing night at a friends house where we celebrated Father’s Day on Father’s Eve. I got to see friends I haven’t seen in a few years and meet new friends. For just for few hours we ate, drank and shared stories.

I am so blown away by the stories, it humbles me. There were all kind of dads, new dads, old dads, dads with a single child to dads with six kids! The diversity made it an incredible experience.

One dad had become a dad on a month’s notice. He stepped up to a bad situation and made sure he took care of what was most important (family). He has altered his whole existence for this child and it is the most unselfish thing a person can do. I won’t go into all of his story but it is one of many from last night.

There were different items being given away last night, such as Britax’s B-Mobile Stroller

The dads who were interested put their names the drawing and although I didn’t need it I wanted to put my name in and if I won I was giving it to the dad above. As luck has it, I won it and it was awesome to be able to give this guy something I know he will get good use out of!

Other dads had to wait years to have a child, which then ended up being twins. I can image the highs and lows of that situation. All of the fathers there had different stories of where they are, where the came from and where they are going.

I am extremely honored to be able to hang with these amazing fathers.

We are all on our own journeys but we all have the same objective, to be the best father we can be. I salute all the fathers out there that are taking an active role in their kids lives and I look forward to sharing many more Father’s Eves/Days with amazing fathers like last night.

I have been living in Los Angeles for 12+ years now. I left Seattle not only to avoid the overcast, dreary days but to chase an opportunity. There are a few things I miss about Seattle, but I especially don’t miss the weather. LA has provided me with more than I could have imagined. I met my amazing wife and we had two incredible boys. My wife and I cannot think of a better place that we would want to live and raise our boys.

Why Los Angeles, besides the weather?

In Los Angeles, we can find anything we want and we can find things we didn’t even know we wanted. We can see concerts large and small, eat at amazing restaurants, walk through museums all around town. There is always something going on.

My wife and I want our kids to be world citizens, and what better way than to have our kids attend a language immersion school program. We chose Mandarin, and couldn’t be happier, the fact that it is available to us excites us. Learning about different cultures and experiencing things such as Chinese New Year in Chinatown provides our boys with the opportunity to be immersed in another culture, a different way of life.

The other day @elipmen and I took a hike with our kids, as they would say “To the top of the world!” #citydads #realstrength

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Art & Culture

L.A. County is home to 100 museums and range from those that specialize in fine art to La Brea Tar Pits, where you can see fossilized dinosaur bones – kids will enjoy it!

Large music venues include Disney Concert Hall (home to L.A. Phil) as well as the very popular Hollywood Bowl and Greek Theatre. Getty Center (“The Getty”) is one of the world’s largest art organizations a favorite museum for many locals and tourists. Located on a 24-acre hilltop campus, overlooking the L.A. Basin, The Getty is home to two things: 1) One of the best views of Los Angeles, and 2) A world-class art collection. Best of all, it’s free! The Getty is funded by a very large trust. All you have to do is pay for parking, then hop on a tram ride up the hill. People spend the whole day taking in amazing art and city views.

Some neighborhoods are the cultural focal point for certain ethnic groups, the list below are some must-visit neighborhoods, rich in gastronomic opportunity.

• Thai Town – Thai
• Koreatown – Korean
• Boyle Heights – Hispanic
• Little Ethiopia – Ethiopian
• Tehrangeles – Persian (Tehran + Los Angeles = Tehrangeles)
• Little Armenia (or Glendale) – Armenian
• Little Tokyo (or Gardena or Sawtelle) – Japanese
• Chinatown (or Monterey Park) – Chinese

“Concrete Jungle”

Living in LA isn’t just about finding things to do in the “concrete jungle” either. We are only a few hours away from camping at Joshua Tree National Park, and close enough to play in the snow at Big Bear, we have options at every turn. One off top misconception about Los Angeles is that it’s a city. It’s not. It’s like 12 cities smashed together, bisected by a bunch of freeways and a mountain range. The point is, L.A. has something for everyone.

Being a stay-at-home dad in LA is the best. We have adventures all over town and, surprisingly for us, there are still more adventures awaiting. One of the greatest opportunities is to be able to swim and surf outside all year long, and we take full advantage of that.  Our boys have been swimming since they were merely months old. My oldest has been known to surf on a chilly February morning undaunted by the water temperature and our youngest is able to participate in soccer camps during any time of the year.

Hopefully after reading this, you’ll conclude that Los Angeles neither monolithic in terms of the people who live here or the work they do. Nor is the landscape a barren urban jungle of concrete and cars. In fact, this city is quite livable and downright fun and interesting. There are so many museums, activities, sights, sounds and foods to discover and enjoy. Living in Los Angeles is never dull. Los Angeles has become more than just a home for us, it is our lifestyle.

We were invited by Britax to join them at Safe Kids Day, a family-friendly event to benefit the life-saving programs of Safe Kids Worldwide.

Why is Safe Kids Worldwide so important?

Safe Kids Worldwide is a global organization dedicated to protecting kids from unintentional injuries, the number one cause of death to children in the United States. Throughout the world, almost 1 million children die of injuries each year. That is all we needed to hear, we are thankful to be able to help spread the word.

What was going on at Safe Kids Days?
They had a fun filled day of activities that included:

• The Smurfs
• Clifford and the Imagination Playground
• Skate dogs
• Exotic animals and and and and so much more!

They provided some great food such as In-N-Out Burger, Sprinkles, Greeenleaf, Coolhaus, Bon Puf and much more! So Yummy!

Needless to say, it was amazing. Do you know what was even more amazing,

Did you know?
3,817 child deaths from car crashes in 2014
or
#1 killer of children ages 1-4 is drowning

The sponsored activities made the event not only fun but more importantly engaging. The engagement makes learning fun! The have stations throughout the event ranging from building blocks, playing on a fire truck, competing in a safety seat challenge, and a safe biking station. Each station had a fun activity that helps create what we call a “learning experience”. These are the type of experiences are effective nontraditional interactions through games that will leave a lasting impression.

One example from the bike station was learning how a helmet should fit properly:

• When you look upward the front rim should be barely visible to your eye
• The Y of the side straps should meet just below your ear
• The chin strap should be snug against the chin so that when you open your mouth very wide you feel the helmet pull down a little bit.

Please check out Safe Kids Worldwide for more preventable safety tips!

Enabling families to travel safely!

Britax is and has been a huge supporter of the City Dads group, and we are very appreciative and grateful for their support. We have worked with Sarah Tildon (who is one, if not the top expert in car seats). We have had classes on the ins-and-outs of car seats. You would think that we would know, but even our very own Eli Lipmen learned a super important lesson about forward-facing versus rear-facing car seats, especially for toddlers.

You would think that we would know, but even our very own Eli Lipmen learned a super important lesson about forward-facing versus rear-facing car seats, especially for toddlers. He had just turned his two-year-old’s car seat around – and, yup, he did it too soon! As we spoke with Sarah, she broke it down as an expert, but also as a parent. She asked a few questions, but the first was the best – “Did he [your son] ask to be turned around?” She explained that the law says two-years-old but you can keep them rear-facing for as long as the seat allows and the simple solution was to use a car seat wedge!

Thank you @britaxus for inviting us to Safe Kids Days event – it was such a great time! We will be sharing all kinds of awesome stuff in an upcoming blog. In the m an time, you should also ask @elipmen the important thing he learned from @sarahtildon (you know the national car seat expert) about the car seat for Cal! #sharesafety #citydads #britax @safekidsworldwide @safekidsfoundation

A post shared by LA Dads Group (@ladadsgroup) on Apr 23, 2017 at 3:57pm PDT

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Do you have questions about your car seat? You should visit Britax’s safety center to get answers.

Britax’s mission: To be the leader and innovator that inspires and enables families to travel safely and grow with peace of mind.

If you can prevent an accident – DO IT!

We want to send a huge thank you to Britax and Safe Kids Day for such a spectacular event!
We want everyone to be safe, keep all children safe and since PREVENTABLE INJURIES ARE THE #1 KILLER OF U.S. KIDS. Let’s work on being more aware of the things we can change and make good decisions – because “Saving lives is a decision we can all make every day”.

I had the pleasure of recently attending the press junket for the movie Gifted about young man unexpectedly into the role of protector and father figure for his math-genius niece. The talent of the film’s actors — Chris Evans, McKenna Grace, Octavia Spencer and Jenny Slate — is a testament to director Marc Webb’s vision and all those that were part of this magical production.

Gifted is a heartwarming and heart-wrenching story about Frank (Evans), an uncle raising his 7-year-old niece, Mary (Grace). Frank vows to give her a normal life even though Mary shows extraordinary mathematical abilities. Things go south when Mary’s teacher (Slate), discovers Mary’s talent.

Here’s a clip of Evans, best known for playing Captain America in the Marvel Comics superhero movie series, talking a little bit about this role …

Here is another clip of our time with the cast from the new movie Gifted, opens in theater in April! I hope this is ok and we don’t have Chris mad at us for sharing this clip… they are his words… lol, I would rather not be on Chris “bad list”! #giftedmovie #citydads @giftedmovie @chrisevansofficiall @mckennagraceful

A post shared by LA Dads Group (@ladadsgroup) on Mar 27, 2017 at 10:07am PDT

Academy Award winner Spencer (Hidden Figures) plays Roberta, Frank’s landlady and Mary’s best friend. She also acts as caretaker for Mary, which comes into play when she advises Frank not to enroll Mary into school. She’s seen as a family member to Mary, even if they don’t have an official or legal tie to each other.

Here is why Spencer choose to be a part of this movie…

Here is a clip from yesterday speaking with #octaviaspencer and why she choose to be a part of the movie Gifted. She is absolutely an AMAZING woman! We will have more clips from the other cast members coming so keep an eye out for them! #giftedmovie #citydads @jennyslate

A post shared by LA Dads Group (@ladadsgroup) on Mar 24, 2017 at 11:31am PDT

Gifted is a thought-provoking movie on many levels with wonderful actors raising the bar. Exploring the true meaning of family, how to encourage a child with special abilities, who should have a say in the way a child is raised, and when growing up needs to happen for children … and some adults.

Gifted is rated PG-13 and featured many life lessons for all ages. This movie should be on your family’s list of films to see this spring.

Editor’s Note: This is a sponsored post. The author wrote more about Gifted and Marc Webb on our L.A. Dads Group blog.

How does a man handle being thrust unexpectedly into the role of protector and father figure?

That is one of the issues addressed in the movie Gifted, opening in select theaters April 7 and nationwide April 21. Frank Adler (Captain America actor Chris Evans) is a single man, whose attempting to give a “normal” life to his 7-year-old, math-prodigy niece (Mckenna Grace) who he is raising. His plans are threatened by his mother Evelyn (Lindsay Duncan) who wants to separate them and put the girl’s skills to work.

City Dads Group members sat down with Gifted producer and director Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer, The Amazing Spider-Man series) at the recent Dad 2.0 Summit to discuss to this new family drama.

Here are some of the highlights:

City Dads Group: “You’re not a father but you are an uncle. So you can associate with the movie. “

Marc Webb: “I have two nieces and they wanted me to make them a movie for a long time. … It was a way to connect with them. There is a very specific type of uncle in this relationship, but you know the hard stuff goes to dad. In this case he inherited this child. He really struggled with if whether or not he was worthy, the right guy to raise this child. … It’s really a non-traditional type of family; it’s brilliant at the heart of the movie.”

CDG: “What do you hope the audience is going to get from seeing this? “

Webb: “I think there are a million different ways of raising a kid correctly. Every family looks different, not all of us are lucky enough to be born into a traditional or the way we are trained to think of traditional conventional family is, you can create a family if you are not born into the right one. “

CDG: “What were you most proud of about making this movie?”

Webb: “I think we have a really good time in the movie and that’s important I wanted to have fun, ’cause making Spider-Man was really hard. This movie was fun and I think the relationship between Frank and Mary in the movie is touching and real and funny and light and happy all the same time.”

CDG: “One of the things with him (Chris Evans) being the dad, I love the aspect that he comes across as an awesome guy and I know one of these lines he talked about was that he wasn’t ready to be a dad. … One of the great things with people watching this movie is that every single dad is never really ready to be a dad. It’s a great thing for others to relate to. “

MW: “I was a sensitive kid and Chris was a sensitive kid… It’s very easy to feel ashamed of that… what I have found is that keeping in touch with that sensitivity, has given me everything in my career. I think that everything that connects with people comes from that. I think it can be painful…. I think it is easier for women to explore than it is for men.”

CDG: “Or much more accepting for women … “

Webb: “Yes, yes exactly. I thought about that in making this kind of movie. “

CDG: “Anything you’re looking forward to doing?”

Webb: “I wouldn’t mind doing an animated movie one day…more of a family movie.”

CDG: “With that, is there a chance of fatherhood (for you) in the future?”

Webb: “I would love that. It would be very nice. “

On our City Dads Group Facebook, you can watch the whole interview with Gifted director Marc Webb .

Editor’s Note: This is a sponsored post. The author wrote more about Gifted and Marc Webb on our L.A. Dads Group blog.

The highlight of my Dad 2.0 Summit 2017 experience was when I had the privilege of moderating an exclusive talk with Marc Webb for the  City Dads Group.

If you are not familiar with Marc, I am sure you know his work. He is a producer and director, known for 500 Days of Summer (2009), The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014). We got to chat with him about his new movie coming out, Gifted.

Gifted

Gifted caught my attention because it tugged on that “fatherhood string.” I mean, what would happen to my boys if something were to happen to my wife and me? I can’t even imagine what would happen. The second thing that caught my attention – Captain America (actor Chris Evans)! But it wasn’t Captain America at all, just a regular guy who finds himself in an unexpected and challenging situation.

I don’t think any father is ready for the full scope of parenting, no matter how much they prepare. Fatherhood is just never what you think it’s going to be. The main character – Frank Adler (played by Chris Evans) – becomes a parental figure after his sister is unable to raise her daughter. I can feel for that guy. We all have difficulties, even when we start from birth!

I am also glad to see that through it all, family is the most important. I was impressed with their choice of Mary (played by Mckenna Grace). Marc found a shooting star that magically lit up the screen with her personality. In the interview, Marc discusses their hunt for her and the difficulty in the search for the actor with just the right personality.

The actors in this movie just seemed to click. You can’t fake this kind of chemistry, and I think there are only a few people in the world that can create this kind of magic. Marc obviously has the experience to not only work with big names but bring the magic to the big screen.

I am looking forward to seeing Gifted with my wife. The full movie comes out in April and rolls out to theaters everywhere after that. In the meantime, you can check out the trailer here. Check out our Facebook Live interview here. And stayed tuned, we will do our best to bring you all the newest information as it comes!

See you at the movies!

As a stay-at-home dad of two boys, I have been asked if I think I would raise a daughter differently. No! If I had a daughter I would do exactly what I am doing with my boys.

I allow my boys to choose what interests them and allow them to try things some may think aren’t “fit for boys.” For example, my youngest has a baby doll that he carries with him everywhere and my oldest loves pink — things our society considers “girly.” I am not going to tell my boys what to play with even if it is not geared toward their gender. I love my boys unconditionally and wouldn’t want to hamper their imaginations by imposing artificial restrictions on them.

So why is it so crazy to think that a woman could play what has been a man’s game forever?

‘Pitch’ about 1st female big leaguer

I was invited to see a preview of the new show Pitch on Fox premiering on Thursday, Sept 22. Pitch, an American drama television series and the first scripted television program of its kind to be officially associated with Major League Baseball (that’s a pretty big deal!). It is about a young pitcher who becomes the first woman to play Major League Baseball. What a concept you say? I think this is awesome. I am so excited to see Fox pushing the lines on gender roles in our society today. I think it is a great time to present a positive view of a multicultural woman overcoming the odds in our world.

I have only seen the pilot, but I can see that Pitch could be a huge hit for years to come. There are some crazy curveballs thrown in that you won’t see coming, so check it out and make sure to watch it all. I take my hat off to the Fox network and really hope it is a step in the right direction, to that helps our society change its exceptions on who can do what and not be held back by what traditional society has developed into. Fox has hit a home run in my book, so check it out and let me know what you think on the 22nd!

DISCLOSURE: The author would like to thank Fox and Red Tricycle for inviting L.A. Dads Group to the premier event. He received no other compensation and the opinions expressed are his own. A version of this first appeared on the L.A. Dads Group website.

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It’s that time of the year again. Back to school. As a stay-at-home dad, this is a sad and happy time for me. Sad because I won’t be spending as much time with my boys, happy because I won’t be spending as much time with my boys. There really is such a thing as too much together time. My ears ring even when they aren’t with me from them screaming and yelling so much. Then again I honestly can’t believe how fast summer came and went.

In all seriousness, this is a time of heighten emotions, new experiences and most of all changes. As a parent, in an attempt to retain my sanity, it is important to me to get my boys into a routine. The first week for me is always a bit nerve racking. Do I have everything packed and ready? Lunches? Check. Backpacks filled with extra clothes for my youngest and snacks for my oldest? Check. Most importantly, do I have my kids ready, fed, and prepared for their new adventures at school both mentally and physically? Umm…check? How does one even know if they’ve succeeded in preparing them anyway?

I always wonder how they navigate the world without me by their sides. I try everything I can to pry even the basics from them. What did you eat for lunch? I dunno. Who did you play with at recess? I dunno. What are your new teachers like? I dunno.

Every once in a while, I can get one of them talking, but even then it’s a little difficult to keep the conversation going. See it’s not just me that the beginning of school is nerve racking for. New teachers, new classmates, new homework. Ugh, homework. My oldest is in an “academic” school (read daily homework even in kindergarten).  There are times I sit down with him after school and even with a free hour or so to settle in he is still fried. He can’t seem to focus and it’s obvious he’s had enough. I take pity on him those days, glad the “daily” part of the homework is more of a guideline than a turn it in tomorrow type thing. I’ve explained to both of them that the work they put in now will benefit them in the future. Cue eye roll and sigh from the 6-year-old. When exactly did I turn into my own father?

On the plus side between school, homework, play, and regimented bedtimes (thank goodness for regimented bedtimes) there isn’t enough time to watch TV during the week. On the negative side, the start of school also means all the new little germs the other kids have discovered over the summer get to come home with my boys, and vice versa. Sharing is caring, after all. Right?!?

On behalf of the LA Dads Group, we wish you and your kids the best of luck transitioning into this new school year!

There are so many times as a parent, I talk to my boys and they just don’t listen.

I know this is common. The worst is when they are staring you right in the eyes, but you know they are off on another planet. It gets frustrating. However, there are those rare times when just the opposite happens.

The other night was one of those times. Our whole family was coloring on the floor listening to music. I have a couple of adult coloring books that my boys prefer to their own. My son’s choice that night had, “Can we all get along” plastered across it. How appropriate!

The first three words are sight words from school.  My wife and I talked to each other like he wasn’t there, hoping he would show off for us. “Wouldn’t it be cool if he read that to us?!” “Wow, that would be amazing!”

Then he used the worst “four letter word” I ever want to hear him say. “I can’t do it!” he announced.

We were both shocked and tried to explain how they were words he knows. As coloring came to an end, my wife took our younger to the bathroom to start getting ready for bed. I laid down next to my son and asked him how it was going. “Good,” he replied looking me in the eyes. He was here and present.

For a long time now, I have slowly been putting what I call “seeds” in my boys’ heads, then I look for situations to use examples for my boys to learn from. This was one of them.

I watched as he colored in the background. He drew a line a couple inches from the bottom then started coloring the lower portion in.

“Where did you learn to do that?” I asked.

“I just thought it up!”

“Do you know what you are doing there?”

“Uh, no.”

I proceeded to explain how he took a large problem, “the whole background” and divided it into smaller more manageable problems. He was beaming, so I continued. It’s like reading, don’t be overwhelmed by all the words, break them down one word at a time. Then letter by letter.

I saw the light bulb shining brightly. Then I asked him to look at me and if he could do me one favor. He nodded. Don’t ever use the word “can’t” again.

I explain what it does to his confidence, he will never know how far he can go with an attitude like that. I explained there are other words, adult words (I have a terrible mouth – so I am sure he knows quite a few of them) and there are words that should just never be thought, yet alone said. Using that word means you have already given up.

The best part is, I could tell he heard it.

We had a brief conversation after, packed up and went to bed.

I consider this to be two seeds well watered. I know I will have to keep an eye out again in the future to do some more watering, but for now, I think these seeds are going growing well.

What seeds are you growing in your garden?