This time of year people are focused on making and keeping their New Year’s resolutions.  Some like quitting bad habits or making good habits are pretty straightforward. If you want to quit smoking, exercise more, read more, or eat healthily; there are very clear ways to start and places to get help. For others, like finding a community or group that will help you in your goal to be a better father, getting started on the right foot can be tricky.

That’s what the City Dads Group is all about. At its core, the group wants to form diverse communities for fathers who are looking to socialize and interact with other guys who enjoy spending quality time with their children.

We are all in here at the Chicago Dads Group. We love the chance to meet other dads who love being dads.  This year our group made it past the 1000 member mark, and we’d love to have even more!  We have seen first-hand the positive effects of creating a network of friendships and resources to help our members become the dads they want to be.  Whether it is activities like a play date in Maggie Daley Park or a Dad’s Night Out playing whirly ball, we are strengthened by every new father that joins our tribe.

We do a lot together here are some of our member’s favorite memories and activities:

I play competitive, energetic basketball every week with Dads from our group!

– Sean W.

It’s a brotherhood of guys who have great advice on childcare and are just fun to be around. I love Dad’s Night Out. I like getting away from the kids for a little adult time.

– Al W.

It’s nice to feel like there are others out there who share what I’m going through. We have a great group of guys…as fathers but also just as people who are fun to be around. My kids still talk about going fishing with the group, even though they were bored and didn’t catch anything. The experience was everything!

– Kyle E.

Join a Dads Group

Great dads don’t happen overnight it takes time, effort, and commitment.  That doesn’t mean you have to start from scratch though.  We’d love to add your perspective and experience to our own.

If you’ve been looking for a way to connect with other active and engaged fathers here in the Chicagoland area check out some of our upcoming events… We’d love to have you!

Now that we are firmly into 2018 we can’t help but want to take a quick look back on one of our favorite meetups of the past year.  Along with  11 other City Dads Group chapters, we participated in Giving Tuesday by helping local charities that help feed hungry children in our communities with the help of our partner, Plum Organics.

Here is a little video the City Dads Group made to showcase how it went:

Plum Organics, the nation’s leading organic baby food brand, donated more than 41,000 pouches of their tasty meals to help children in need.  For our part, the Chicago Dads Group teamed up with the Palatine Township Food Pantry to collect food and deliver the generous donation from Plum Organics.

Giving back is one of our favorite ways to get together here in the Chicagoland area.  There is a lot of need here and we are lucky to make such great connections with brands, like Plum Organics, who help encourage and support our initiatives.

Giving Tuesday, the Tuesday following Thanksgiving, is a global day of outreach dedicated to helping others. It’s meant to kick-off the holiday season by inspiring people to collaborate in improving their local communities. Since its 2012 inception, tens of thousands of organizations worldwide annually participate in the day. This was the fourth year in-a-row that we have joined with other City Dads groups around the country and participated in this day of giving back through service, and we’re looking forward to doing even more!

DISCLOSURE: Plum Organics partnered with City Dads Group for the mentioned above through a donation of goods and financial compensation.

Step 1: Take time off of work.

Step 2: Be with your family.

What could be more relaxing than that?

In total, I have enjoyed six months of paternity leave over the course of three years. I guess I am one of the lucky few, at the vanguard of the new work-life balance trends. And I am truly grateful.  That time with my family was amazing and I don’t regret a single second of it.

That said, it wasn’t nearly as easy as I thought, and definitely wasn’t relaxing. Most of the time it felt like I just swapped one job for another, and it wasn’t always an upgrade. I also made a lot of mistakes. Essentially, I discovered that while the concept of paternity leave might be straightforward, getting it right wasn’t.

With that in mind, I have been thinking about what I wish I’d known before my paternity leave began. This is what I came up with:

At Work

Paternity leave will only negatively impact your career if you let it. In fact, if done right, it will actually boost it. Ideally, you will demonstrate your leadership skills through your leave and come out the other side quite well off.

1. Set It Up Right — Don’t let the all too common fear of negative perception limit your paternity leave. Spin that narrative on its head. Demonstrate how important your work and career are, by being proactive while setting up leave. Anticipate your manager’s concerns and answer them before he or she even has a chance to think about them. Then put the time in to develop a coverage plan that works for everyone.
2. Think Big Picture — Preparing to leave the office for months will give you a rare opportunity to do a full job audit. Make a list of everything you do and categorized it as essential, meaningful, or available for automation/elimination. It will be the first time in your long career that you will really understand how you spend your time. Arming yourself with that information is critical to becoming more effective and efficient. What could be better for career growth?
3. Develop Others — While arranging your coverage plan, determine what parts of your job can effectively be absorbed by more junior teammates. Rather than hiding those parts, or making them appear more complicated, call them out directly. Use it as an opportunity to develop your less experienced co-workers (never a bad leadership opportunity) and upon returning, take on more impactful work.
4. Show Appreciation — Paternity leave is great for the person taking it. Being with family and delivering on your commitment to fatherhood is unquestionably awesome. For the co-workers left behind, however, it’s just more work. The only way to effectively avoid what may seem like inevitable hostility is some good ol’ fashioned appreciation and gratitude. Saying “thank you” is a good start. But taking the time to explain what it means to you and your family is critical. When your teammates are able to see specifically what it enables you to do, they will feel great about helping to make it all happen.
5. Establish Communication Expectations — During leave, your primary responsibility is to your family. To avoid constant interruptions, set clear communication expectations at the office. First, request calls rather than emails. This will set a mild “effort” barrier, ensuring that the question is worth your time and not something easily solved without you. Second, set availability windows. By limiting work calls to specific days and times you are far more efficient. There won’t be any unexpected distractions when you are with your daughter or newborn son.

At Home

1. Limit “Projects” — As someone very dedicated to working, taking time off can feel a bit … odd. You will find that your productivity itch needs to be scratched, but be cautious. Jumping into the DIY deep end can quickly become a distraction. Ultimately, this could prevent you from fulfilling the all-important Step 2 – be with your family. Don’t be like your co-worker who confessed to spending a 12-week paternity leave building the ultimate deck/patio set-up (now acknowledged as a missed opportunity).
2. Don’t Ask, Just Do — Nothing will drive your wife crazier than asking to help out. You might assume you are doing the right thing by being considerate and offering. As it turns out, that is severely misguided. “JUST DO STUFF!” she will exclaim. Remember the demands on a mom can be overwhelming, especially right at the beginning or during recovery.
3. Be a Jack of All Trades — Aside from the actual act of breastfeeding or pumping, there isn’t anything you can’t or shouldn’t do. Use it as a time to build up new skills like becoming a better chef, shopper and toddler whisperer.
4. Get Out — Newborns make things infinitely more difficult. The standard cycle of screaming, crying, changing, feeding and spit-up isn’t fun. It is even less fun when you aren’t home with your standard set of useful tools. But, that is no excuse to confine yourself to the house. It might mean loading up the car with more stuff than you had in your first apartment, but it’s worth it. Getting out of the house with the whole family will bring a level of normalcy to your paternity leave. Plus, nobody reminisces on memories of Netflix bingeing.
5. Have a Schedule — The freedom of cutting your tether to the office, will be too much at first. There just won’t be a compelling reason not to randomly watch HBO until 2 a.m.  Your schedule will never be perfect. Rarely will a day pass, where everything falls into place. But, having a schedule does three things:
   • It helps you to stay focused on your primary task – being with your family.
   • It helps your wife because she will know when the small gaps of freedom are available (mostly to sleep).
   • Finally, it will help your older children to enjoy the consistency she has come to expect. After all, having a new baby in the house was never in his or her plans.

Paternity leave is flat-out awesome. Sadly though, it may be the longest uninterrupted stretch you will ever have with your family. So put away your phone, be present, and enjoy it! It goes fast.

Author’s Note: If you have taken leave and have any advice for other dads, I would love to hear about it – either here, by email, or over at my site.  Dads are finally getting some family flexibility in the workplace and we need to keep up the momentum!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JT Smith is a father of two, and the creator of Paternity Leave Pioneer, a website encouraging dads to prioritize their rights from the start. His website shares advice on negotiating, taking and optimizing paternity leave.

Disclosure: We proudly partnered with WaterWipes for this event and post.

One of the best things about being a part of the Chicago Dads Group is getting together with other fathers and their kids to watch them play and make new friends.  Whether you call them playdates, outings or adventures, we love them.

Our good friends WaterWipes, makers of the world’s purest baby wipes, treated our dads and their families to a fun breakfast and morning of play at one of our favorite local spots, The Little Beans Cafe. With cafe amenities for the parents and older siblings, imaginative play spaces for the tiny tots, and some sports and gymnastic-style play for the not-so-tiny tots, Little Beans is perfect for the whole family.

We had some epic make-believe going on in the “Tiny Tots Town” with all the dress-ups and play buildings. It is always a blast when kids get their dads in on the play. We also had some creative tabletop tennis, and an impromptu ultimate ninja competition go down with some of our bigger kids (sometimes even our dads fit that category). Everyone was having a blast.

Lucky for us, we never had to stop play for too long for a diaper change. With WaterWipes on hand, our dads could flag their toddler down and get them changed and back into action with the efficiency of a race car pit crew. WaterWipes gave us the confidence of knowing not only are we there to help our kids when they need us, but that we are taking care of their skin as we do. WaterWipes are made with 99.9% water and a drop of fruit extract so they are soft to the touch and gentle on sensitive baby skin. Additionally, WaterWipes have been awarded the National Eczema Association Seal of Acceptance — so you know the whole family can use them with skincare confidence.

“We love WaterWipes! They are soft on her skin and that makes my job so much easier,” said James Currie, a Chicago Dads Group father of a 2-year-old. “They give me peace of mind knowing I’m keeping her new skin clean with gentle and pure elements.”

Another one of our fathers, Rich Espinal, said, “It is great to be in community with fellow fathers and their families. It serves as a reminder that we have the same desires for more sleep, fumbling through the best way to manage tantrums, etc. Little Beans Cafe was an ideal venue with toys, activities, and places for parents to relax. It was also great to have WaterWipes on hand to wipe down faces buttered with breakfast and make diaper changes a breeze.”

WaterWipes are available throughout the U.S. online and at many major retailers. For more information, visit www.WaterWipes.com/us.

L.A Dad Group Member Felix Barajas recently attended a Fodada event in Southern California, so we thought it would be a great idea to share his experience and a recent City Dads Group blog post about Fodada’s mission and “fun-raising” initiative. 

My daughter and I had a really great experience at the recent Fodada event hosted at the Automobile Driving Museum in El Segundo. We had a wonderful time bonding as a family and getting to experience all the classic cars. We also loved the scavenger hunt, the car building activity, root beer floats, and ice cream! Thank you to Fodada for hosting such a wonderful event. – Felix Barajas, LA Dads Group Member

Fodada does more than just host awesome events – they help children in need by getting parents and kids to do extracurricular activities together that raise funds for a cause. Their unique platform allows you to change the life of a kid with a click of a button. Read more about it in this post by City Dads Group blogger Kevin McKeever.

https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/fodada-kidscholly/

So it isn’t a typical winter here in Chicago this year…  We haven’t seen a lot of snow, if any, and temperatures are regularly in the 50’s. None-the-less the Groundhog saw his shadow, so it seems we are in for a few more weeks of winter.  So with this weird winter we are having how can you find winter fun for kids?  No fear we have done some looking around and we have activities that should keep you fully stocked with ideas for the next six weeks:

Winter Fun for Kids

1. Ice skating –  We don’t let a lack of snow stop us from enjoying some outdoor ice time.  A few iconic place you can lace up and skate are, The Maggie Daley Park Ice Ribbon,  The Millenium Park Ice Skating Rink, or The Linclon Park Farmhouse Ice Rink. Admission is free-$5 at these places if you don’t have skates though you’ll have to rent them.
2. Skiing and Snowboarding – Yes you can Ski and Snowboard within an hour from the city center,  They aren’t giant mountains but they are a great way to introduce your kids to these fun winter sports… and yes they make their own snow so you can even ski/board this year.  Check out: Villa Olivia,  Raging Buffalo Ski and Snowboard Park, or Four Lakes Alpine Snowsports.
3. Museums – Outdoor winter sports not your thing? We have world-class museums you should visit especially on one of their many free days for IL residents here are the places we love: The Art Institute of Chicago, The Field Museum, The Shedd Aquarium, The Adler Planetarium, and The Museum of Science and Industry.  You may want to check out one of their sleep over events.

With all the Nature Preserves and Park Districts around we are absolutely missing some of the other fun activities. So by all means tell us what we have missed.  Drop a comment below and let us know what ways you are discovering winter fun for the kids this year! Who knows… we may just add it to the list.