The art of living a minimalist lifestyle is something all New Yorkers embrace by default. We live in tiny apartments with no space for the usual suburbia luxuries like a home gym, multiple panini presses or rooms for guests.

With such limited home space, it’s challenging to own your own fitness equipment to satisfy the urge to lose the Dad Bod. As a result, many think it’s just easier to rely on the local gym or the nearest random boot camp class. Unfortunately, even more dads out there go with none of the above and skip the idea of getting and staying in shape altogether.

However, you don’t need a gym membership or even a bunch of fancy equipment to get into the best shape of your life. Getting healthy in NYC doesn’t require lots of money. It just requires some creativity (such as good eating habits) coupled with the knowledge of how to make the most out of a few pieces of home gym equipment.

Plan and goals

It starts with a worthwhile plan to execute. Establish why you are getting into shape (to run a 5K, to fit more easily in your clothes, etc.) and then set goals. Then you’ll need to figure out what kind of workouts you need to meet your goals.

Ideally, even marathon runners partake in at least one to two strength training sessions per week. That’s the baseline. To do that, all you need to accomplish “progressive overload” (just a fancy way to say, make each workout harder than the last so you can get stronger) is a few feet of space in a bedroom or living room to crank out some push-ups and squats.

Basic strength circuit

Start with this minimalist workout that requires absolutely no equipment (the links explain how to do the exercise):

• push-ups
• squats
• bear crawls
• lunges
• mountain climbers

Perform each movement in a circuit fashion for 30 seconds. Rest for 30 seconds between movements and repeat for three to five rounds for a full body workout.

Next-level fitness: The pull-up bar

You can up your workout environment by purchasing an attachable pull-up bar to hang in a door frame. When you’ve got that, your home gym now lets you do the big three movements — push-ups, pull-ups and squats — that make up most foundational workouts done by anyone looking to strengthen their core muscle.

Try this minimalist routine with just three exercises

• 5 pull-ups
• 10 push-ups
• 20 squats

Set a timer for 15 to 20 minutes and perform each movement in order, resting only as needed. Record your progress and try to beat the number of circuits each subsequent workout.

Progression with these body weight-only movements (or calisthenics) can be as simple as adding one more rep or one more set or by making the move a little harder – like elevating your feet on a push-up or moving from a standard squat to a forward lunge.

Next-level fitness: Adjustable dumbbells

Sometimes, though, even that’s not enough and you’d like to really feel a pump. Instead of running to the local gym, invest in adjustable dumbbells for your home gym.

For the price of one to two months of a membership (or four to five silly cardio classes you’ll find everywhere in NYC health clubs), adjustable dumbbells coupled with strategic body-weight movements offer a much bigger return on investment. And you can schedule your workouts for any time of the day, not just when the trainer dictates class time.

Here’s a full-body home workout with dumbbells (the links explain how the exercise is done):

1) Dumbbell deadlift – six to eight reps

– Rest for 60 seconds and the repeat three times for four sets in total.

2A) Dumbbell push press – 12 reps

– No rest

2B) Dumbbell Bulgarian split squat – eight reps per side

– Rest 60 seconds and repeat two times for three sets in total

3A) Dumbbell step up– 10 reps per side

– No rest

3B) Decline Push up – as many reps as possible

– Rest 60 seconds and repeat two times for three total sets

These three routines are all designed to work the entire body through the duration of the session. That means the core and the legs and the chest and the arms and the back. All of it gets worked in each of the three training routines.

From there, it’s on to the extra credit. Remember what I said about progressive overload. It’s the term that rules the fitness industry for good reason. If you aren’t progressing in your workouts every session, then you aren’t getting stronger. If you aren’t getting stronger, then your training is flawed and your body won’t see the progress you’re hoping for.

Now, go forth and prosper without ever having to leave your tiny NYC apartment.

Home gym dumbbell photo by Alora Griffiths on Unsplash

It’s now more manly than ever to create in the kitchen. And that’s exactly how you should approach this.

Embrace the world of cooking as creation.

You don’t have to be a Jedi Master to have an appreciation for cooking up culinary excellence every single day. But you should at least have a baseline knowledge of how things work and how to make up dishes to serve a variety of diners: whether you’re eating alone, enjoying a romantic meal with your partner or creating a feast for the whole family.

Before getting into the cooking hacks, let’s chat about the reasons why you should take up cooking:

Take some pressure off of your partner

If your family basically doesn’t eat unless your wife makes the food, then you are failing the idea of “partnership.”

A dependence on your partner as the sole provider of meals for the clan is just unacceptable. It’s always nice to take a vacation, and it’s up to you to allow your partner to do just that every once in awhile.

Save some money

Dining out and eating fast food is expensive. While the occasional splurge is fine, relying on another chef (gourmet or fry) to make your meals is a drain on your wallet.

Home cooking is healthier

Home cooking remains undefeated for keeping you in tip-top condition. At home, you control the ingredients and portion sizes.

Start with a quality game plan

Your graduation from kitchen noob to culinary expert starts before you even turn on the burner. It begins with the cooking hack of all cooking hacks: preparation for the grocery store.

Set aside time each week to get an idea of the next seven days worth of eating. Plan out any or even all of your meals and determine what you’ll need from the store to make it happen.

Stumped for ideas? Millions of other wannabe Bobby Flays have done the hard work, creating billions of recipes and takes on recipes and takes on the takes of the recipes. All you have to do is log on to the web, find something you like and execute. For inspiration, check out these guys that hold it down in the kitchen:

• Fit Men Cook (https://fitmencook.com/)
• Dad Cooks Dinner (https://www.dadcooksdinner.com/all-recipes/)
• Dad With A Pan (https://dadwithapan.com/)

Cooking hacks for the win

Start small –– No need in trying to conquer veal shank osso bucco over saffron risotto if you have a hard time boiling pasta to a perfect al dente. Stick to a few recipes and learn them inside and out. Eventually, you get so comfortable in the kitchen with your handful of go-to meals that you won’t even need the instructions. Once you’ve reached a level of comfort with your easy to prep meals, graduate to some more complex dishes for special occasions, like a romantic evening with your baby mama, or for when you’re entertaining guests.

Play around with spices –– Adding some balsamic vinegar, squirting a pinch of lemon over a finished product or even adding the occasional exotic fruit or vegetable in place of the staples can really take a dish to the next level. The same rule applies here in terms of repetition. Just like learning the intricacies of the perfect jump shot in basketball, it takes practice.

Turn basic into brilliant — Enjoy making scrambled eggs? Cool. Make the best scrambled eggs in town and know how to add the best spices and add-ins to turn a simple breakfast into a brunch-worthy classic.

Consider chicken to be a palette for creation. A roasted chicken with some lemon and some fresh thyme, tossed with olive oil and thrown in a roasting pan with red potatoes is a dinner for an entire family in about an hour of time. Add different vegetables, side dishes and seasonings to make it something unique.

Additional cooking hacks:

• Whenever possible, buy in bulk to save on the ingredients you’ll need on a weekly basis.
• Take a day to cook several meals for the week that can be packed for lunches or reheated for dinners.
• Or look for larger meals that can create all kinds of leftover options. Roasting a full chicken on Sunday can lead to multiple meals like chicken soup, sandwiches or just pulled chicken over leafy greens for a protein-added punch to your lunch salad.

Additional healthful hacks

One of the most successful keys to pulling off a consistently healthy and incredibly tasty meal is to stick with some basic cuisines and mind the big four factors of your dish: Proteins, Carbs, Vegetables and Fats.

Every time you dine, if you focus on a decent inclusion for all of these pillars, you are doing a great job.

When shopping, keep in mind that fresh foods like fruits and vegetables win the day. Look to leaner cuts of meat for the protein sources. In simple sound byte form: Don’t eat pre-produced meals and sides.

A way to really kick this into another gear of mindful and healthful eating would be to stick to slimmer options for the majority of your dining. Think close to 80-percent of all your meals being focused on lean proteins and lots of vegetables with a good dose of starchy carbs and some fats.

This will help reduce the bottom line on your waistline.

For more of Pete’s tips for living a healthier and more focused life, check out his piece detailing the Five Core Values that will change your life for the better.

Cooking hacks photo by Aaron Thomas on Unsplash

New York City is a food lover’s paradise. From pizza to cronuts to craft beers and every amazing foodie dream in between, it’s quite easy to ruin your healthy eating habits if we aren’t careful. And, let’s be honest, for every health benefit the city provides, the Big Apple hits us with countless options to find dietary pitfalls.

One of my biggest goals as a nutrition coach is helping busy moms and dads navigate the challenges of everyday life with kids and work to find the right balance for achieving goals. The most important part of my programming is the nutritional side. This is how I break things down for my clients. Healthy eating habits can include having some cake and actually eating it and enjoying it from time to time.

It all starts with understanding the simple science of weight loss. No matter the pattern of dieting, style of eating or timing of when you eat, the key to losing weight is rooted in the ability to burn more calories than your body consumes.

This bears repeating.

If you eat in a caloric deficit, you will lose weight. Period. The science is 100 percent undefeated on this one.

Armed with this nugget of eternal wisdom, we can figure in an occasional moment of gluttony and determine how to avoid the obstacles of big city living to still make progress on our fat-loss goals.

Plan ahead to maintain healthy eating habits

If you know a big lunch meeting is planned for a certain restaurant in SoHo, scout ahead and look up the menu ahead of time. Find a few dishes that will work for your diet. When all options are on the fattening side, do your best to piece something together, or just know the rest of your day will need lower calorie options to compensate for the bigger meal.

Stick to the good dietary basics

Sometimes last-minute things come up and you have to navigate on the fly. In this case, damage control is the best option. Stick with the most basic of concepts for healthier eating. Lean meats and vegetables will see you through. Avoid the appetizers, which tend to carry ridiculous amounts of calories. Skip the bread and the chips and salsa.

Live a little now and then

Sometimes, there’s no amount of planning ahead or any healthier option available for you to avoid the inevitable dietary cheat. That’s OK. You can cut loose for one night and just consume all the calories. Seriously. One period of extended foodie glory will not derail all of your efforts.

Skip a meal

Intermittent fasting (IF) is all the rage right now. It’s not some magical method that mysteriously burns calories. Instead, IF is just a strategy of timing that allows for larger meals. If you’re dieting on 2,000 calories per day and skip your breakfast, that means 2,000 calories spread over lunch and dinner. You can enjoy more options while still hitting your goals.

For this situation, if you have a big dinner coming up and know there won’t be anything healthy on the menu, take a page from the IF lifestyle and skip breakfast or lunch (or even both) so you can enjoy the big dinner without the guilt. Word of advice: work your way into longer fasts, start with 10-12 hours (ex: stop eating after dinner at 7 p.m. and don’t break your fast until at least 7-8 a.m. the following day). It’ll help you mentally prepare for longer periods of fasting.

Stop at just one 

If all else fails and you just feel like letting your freak flag fly by downing an entire plate of Pad Thai and capping the night with some edible cookie dough, just enjoy yourself with no guilt. Seriously.

When this happens, the key is to not let this one night turn into two. That’s what separates the long-term successful dieters from the cyclical dad bod enthusiasts still hoping to drop a spare tire on New Year’s Eve, year after year.

When dieters hit a plan too hard, it can lead to this rigid approach to eating and life that lends no room for wiggling. That’s simply not sustainable long term. It’s a recipe for dietary failure.

Every once in a while, it’s fine to get in there, mix it up and eat like a fat kid at a pie eating contest. Know that your weight will likely bounce up a tad as a result of excess water storage and glycogen replenishment (this is what happens when we eat an abundance of carbs, the body’s fuel source). But, it will all flush away quickly –– as long as you get right back on your plan starting with the very next meal.

No punishments with extra miles on the treadmill. No starvation strategies by fasting for a week straight. No silly carb cutting to try and make up for the damage. Just live your life and get back on the game plan of maintaining healthy eating habits.

Photo by Adam Smotkin on Unsplash

Getting fit is a multi-billion dollar industry with its fancy gadgets, dynamic classes and in-your-face marketing, but you don’t need a six-figure salary to afford a healthy lifestyle.

One of the biggest problems most people face when try to get fit — be it lose weight, get in shape or eating better — is embracing the idea of an all-or-nothing approach. Go big or go home. That’s a sure-fire path to wrecking your wallet, especially here in New York where every third storefront in Manhattan is a new take on a boot camp, organic superfoods or glorified stationary bike.

Instead, let’s focus on a few cost-cutting ways to alleviate the belly fat while ensuring a bag of money isn’t going solely to the sweaty trainer yelling at you to dig deeper for 20 more seconds.

1. Get a standing desk

If you’re plugged in all day at the office, the best way to alleviate the effects of sitting is to stop sitting. Invest in a standing desk option. Standing for six hours can burn as many as 54 extra calories per day. That’s not a ton, but every little bit adds up. More importantly, standing more helps regulate blood pressure, can reduce back pain and the risk for chronic disease. If a standing desk is not possible, at minimum set a timer for 40-50 minutes and when it goes off, get up and move around and stretch out the limbs.

2. Walk or bike everywhere

We city dwellers have a built-in advantage here. New Yorkers walk an average of two to five miles per day. Get a pedometer or a FitBit or actually start using that setting on your Apple Watch to track your steps per day. Don’t try to be perfect out of the gates. Try for small daily improvement goals that are attainable and sustainable. So instead of committing to walking or biking from your pad in Boerum Hill to your office in Midtown, stay by focusing on hitting 8,000 steps for the first few days with a goal of getting to 10,000 by the end of the month. Taking a few extra steps per day instead of relying on the unreliable subway system can lead to big payoffs. Check out this map that will show you how many calories you can burn by skipping a few subway stops to walk above ground.

3. Fit into the Parks and Rec life

Being cooped up indoors (particularly in the colder months) can zap of us much-needed Vitamin D from the sun and keep us sedentary and on the path to excess weight gain. As a stay-at-home dad, I have the luxury of hitting the park on a daily basis with my toddler. It not only gets me out of the house and moving, but does the same for my little girl. Develop a ritual with your family to enjoy the varied park life here in the city. There’s a park or a playground every other block, so use them! The key is once you get to the park, don’t be one of those spectator parents who plops on a bench and watches the kids run around. Instead, get involved and play with your children. It’s an extra credit calorie burn to be active with the young ones. It also encourages them to stay active and fit, too.

4. Be a home (fitness) body

Stop paying for one-off classes. It adds up quickly and frankly, most of those workouts are just glorified aerobics sessions. While most of us live in small spaces and tight quarters, especially with the kids around, working out at home can lead to fantastic results. It doesn’t require a Gold’s Gym level of commitment to top-notch equipment, either. Getting a great workout can come with simple bodyweight (or calisthenics) movements. Or make the investment in an adjustable dumbbell set and/or a few sturdy kettlebells. For the price of one or two of those boot camp classes, you’ll have your own mini-home gym.

5. Watch the takeout

Building a base of positive behavioral habits that lead to a fit lifestyle means starting with small and attainable solutions and then working your way up. Asking that you cook every single meal is just ridiculous. But, starting with a more sustainable concept — like agreeing to prepare one more dinner per week and order one fewer lunch per week (opting to brown bag your midday meal, instead) – can go a long way toward shoring up your wallet and your waistline. Bonus tip: When prepping that one additional dinner per week, double the recipe so you have enough leftovers to bag your lunch. That’s a two-for-one.

New York City is expensive so don’t make it pricier than it has to be by giving into the fancy marketing of the countless food and fitness options available in your effort to get fit. Be savvy! Look for openings where you can take advantage of your own creativity and willpower and you can still avoid that dreaded dad bod.

Photo by Curtis MacNewton on Unsplash

It’s been said that the best way to learn a foreign language is to immerse yourself in the culture.

So two months into this fatherhood thing and I’ve fully immersed myself into this really screwed up world called the language of parenting.

Never before in my life have I spent so much damn time talking about poop. Not shit. Because, babies don’t do that. They “poop” or “go poopy.”

Newborns aren’t throwing up or vomiting … they are “spitting up.”

And my daughter doesn’t drool. Well, actually, apparently she does drool because, this is the term we choose to use as a crossover from both worlds. Either way, it’s still gross.

No. It is not fucking cute. It is still gross. No matter how many cute words we apply to excrement, it will always be shit. My baby shat herself last night and it was messy.

But I digress.

Along with the language of parenting comes this entirely new world of marketing to parents. It’s a scary, deceitful business, my friends. You will literally be smacked upside the head with every single marketing tactic in the playbook to try and lure you into this web of spending on utter bullshit.

From diaper wipe warmers to chairs that electronically swing themselves to apps that monitor your child’s bodily functions, there is something for everything and for everyone. For example, I can control the motion of my daughter’s nap chair from my iPhone and toss on some background tunes to the sound of rain while the seat rotates to mask the rhythm of an ocean wave. All while I chill out on the reclining “glider.” Note: It’s not a rocking chair … it’s a glider, because we have to add a crafty little marketing title so we can force you to pay another $200-300. Because, eff you.

In fact, as I write this post, I’m looking across the room at my daughter as she rotates on her MamaRoo chair. The best part? She’s totally not entertained by the actual built-in mobile that hangs over her head while she rocks. She’s more interested in her hands that she recently started to discover.

And that is actually the dirty little secret: the babies don’t know any better and don’t need all of that technology to have a good time.

My in-laws came to visit recently and were stunned at all the gadgets and stuff we have furnished in our teeny-tiny little closet-sized apartment here in Manhattan. Matter of fact, until about a week ago, my daughter hated everything anyway.

We’ve got a specially designed floor mat with a hanging decoration (ugh, “mobile”) and built-in walls that entrap your tot like a felon at Clinton Max. It’s all adorned in colors and cute animals, so you know … it’s not really like a prison. It’s cute. But not at first to my daughter. It might as well have actually been the clink.

Same with that damn MamaRoo. We tried that bad boy on day one from the hospital. It took a daily dedication and vigilance for us to finally get the offspring to enjoy that thing … six weeks later.

Meanwhile a few notes on this contraption: First off – screw that name, because you know, dads apparently don’t give a shit if the baby is chillin’. Second – how someone hasn’t made this thing in an adult version for grown-ass men is a total fail. Imagine watching football while sitting in this rocking chair, errr — glider, on steroids? I’m looking at you, Apple. Make up for the iWatch.

Here’s the big takeaway: avoid the marketing hype. For my first-time fathers out there, you are going to run into a million and one baby books and friends and family members and coworkers and advertisements and social media posts and all sorts of crap in between begging you and pulling at you and imploring you to buy [blank] because “your baby will love it” or because “you NEED this to survive parenting.” False.

Stay strong, my friends.

You do need some very basic things to get by; because how the hell do you think your child will be able to survive without a diaper wipe warmer, bro? (Editor’s note: His two kids did.) But, don’t be that dude that loads up on product after product because it looks shiny. Your kid won’t know the difference. You’ll just clutter up your house. And you could actually probably end up saving money in the long run.

A version of this first appeared on Daddy Mind Tricks.

Nothing screams “we have way too much stuff in our house” like preparing to move to a new place. It’s a wakeup call to declutter and get organized.

When my wife and I moved to New York City from Florida, we downsized from a large two-bedroom apartment to a studio. You want to get an idea for how to live with less? Try squeezing your entire life into a tiny 500-square-foot Manhattan apartment.

Then we had a kid. And the junk piled up once more.

Random toys and crap. Boxes of diapers and wipes. Baby toys. Pictures books. Strollers. Cribs. Baby clothes. Baby blankets. All of it squeezed into our one-bedroom New York City apartment.

It’s important to find the right balance between stuff and your own sanity in order to survive. Simply put,  we end up being prisoners of our stuff and it takes control of our lives. Here’s how to start your declutter:

Take inventory

Go through everything and set up a traffic light system: Green items can stay, red items are junk and can go, yellow items you may want to revisit once you’re done going through everything in case you discover there’s a reason for keeping it or junking it.

For a challenge, just stick to green vs. red. And don’t trick yourself into thinking that you need everything. Once we start learning to live with a little less, we actually start to realize how much stuff we already have.

Again, the key is to start small so as not to overwhelm. But once you get into a rhythm, it all starts flowing. Go through the kids’ closets and dresser drawers and under the beds. Find the kitchen appliances you aren’t using and determine if you’ll ever actually use them.

Start small to build a declutter habit

When we first start exercising, our muscles need to adapt. We likely feel the delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) kick in a few days after that first session. If that DOMS is so bad we don’t have the ability to get back in the gym again for another week, chances are, the good habit of a consistent workout will have already been broken. That’s the case here, too.

Dedicate a few minutes over a weekend to start getting the feel of the declutter process. Start with the stack of papers that has been sitting on your desk for far too long, for example. Don’t overwhelm yourself so much that you won’t want to return the next day to continue the adventure.

Five minutes certainly won’t be enough to clear the entire household. But it’s a start. Celebrate that. Then get back at it again tomorrow with another five minutes. And then the next day. And the next.

Toy with your emotions

Kids have way too much crap. Buy a bin or two, fill both up with the best and most used toys and then dump the rest. Give those old toys to charity for a double win that declutters and teaches a valuable lesson to kids about giving back.

Want to gift your kid with something? Not a problem, just encourage your child to first give up a toy or two to make room.

Buy less stuff

Curb the desire to constantly bring in new material items into the home and try to find that appreciation for what you already have.

Of course, if you’re still wearing some nasty ass underwear that’s got a ton of holes in it and some questionable track mark stains, it’s definitely time to make a purchase. Or if you’re toaster burns bagels to the point where the fire department is on speed dial, by all means, buy a new toaster.

Just try to learn to live life with a little less.

Clothes it out

If a piece of clothing is collecting dust, it’s time to get rid of it. Here’s a challenge: open up the drawer or closet right now and find 10 items that you can give away. Practice doing this every quarter or every six months at minimum to open up a vast new world of space and comfort.

The key is not to run to the store to replace those clothes once you’ve cleared the space.

Wash the dishes

Letting items pile up in the sink leads to massive clutter that spills over into other areas. Suddenly it’s OK to leave a few papers on the kitchen counter because you’ll straighten it up when you wash the dishes. Then, papers end up on the dining room table, and the family is eating on the couch.

Don’t let that happen. Washing dishes as you go. It takes less than a minute to scrub a bowl and a spoon and put it away. Don’t be lazy.

Leave room

There’s a reason why we sometimes shy away from putting up our coats or clothes in their respective spaces. Our homes are so slammed with objects that it’s a hassle to put everything away!

When you declutter the house, be sure to leave some extra room to make things a little more manageable for re-entry.

Encourage decluttering habits

Our family puts away all toys before eating any meals and at the end of the night. We should be eating dinner as a family in a comfortable, junk-free setting and not needing to remove a G.I. Joe from dad’s butt.

Designated a time each day for clothes and toys to be put away. Then take an extra step to add in a 30-minute cleaning ritual every weekend that teaches the entire family the importance of chipping in to keep the living space clean.

Declutter your home regularly

From new toys to seasonal clothing to school paperwork, families collect a bunch of crap. It’s important to stay on top of this with regular check-ins. Schedule a monthly purge of old junk and declutter the house to ensure you don’t ever fall behind and end up right back at square one.

It’ll open up a whole new world of space, mental clarity and perhaps provide some additional calming sanity to your life.

A version of this first appeared on Daddy Mind Tricks.

Just two days after starting daycare, my daughter brought home the crud. Diarrhea. Smelly, running, non-stop diarrhea that turned diaper changing time into even more of a shit show. Poor, sick child — poor dad!

But that’s to be expected. Kids at daycare share toys together and roll around on the floor with each and grab, pull and touch each other all damn day long. But, in a way, this is a good thing.

When your baby is born, she comes out with this teeny tiny immune system that is ready to take on what the world has to offer … or so it thinks. A newborn’s immune system needs to build up in order to take on the task of healing. It’s like your scrawny ass in high school before you discovered weights. You didn’t just pop out of bed, flop on some Converse shoes and crank out a 500-pound deadlift. It takes work and skill and practice. The immune systems of children are very similar in nature. Picking up a bug at daycare now and then helps build the immune system so it can ward off later attacks from infections.

While the kids getting sick is a way of life, there’s nothing worse than having to take care of a sick child while you are sick, too … all because your child got you sick in the first place. There are some things we can do to help prevent the trap from taking over our lives and combat some of these things from rearing their ugly faces:

Wash your hands

Duh. This one is pretty simplistic. Yet you’d be surprised how many people actually don’t wash their hands with soap on the regular. A 2006 study from the American Society of Microbiology shows that while 97 percent of women and 92 percent of men claimed to be cleaning with soap, the real numbers were closer to 75 percent for females and just 58 percent of males. That’s gross. Do better, people.

Cut down on cuddles with sick child

Kids are cute. Babies are really cute. As a new parent, you’ll just want to eat those little cheeks up and squeeze the hell out of your adorable little one. Try to avoid the temptation to do just that when the kids are not 100 percent healthy. You don’t have to banish your sick child to the infirmary, but you should think twice about laying on a million kisses on the face of the child while he’s coughing up half a lung.

Sharing is NOT caring

Much like the limiting of cuddle time with a sick child, stepping back your kid’s toys is another good idea. And perhaps one of the most underrated tips here: be careful about sharing a spoon or a fork and eating after your kids. That’s a surefire way to buy everyone a one-way ticket to feverville.

Practice prevention/boost the immune system

You already know about the importance of eating well and working out regularly, right? The better shape you are in, the healthier your diet and exercise routine are, and the higher quality sleep you get, the better off you’ll be in the long-run to avoid getting sick altogether.

Disinfect the home

After you wash your hands, wash your house. Open some windows. Use a good disinfectant to kill the germs before they can even get started. Find the worst culprits of the house for germ infestation: the phone, toilet, remote control and doorknobs. Hit those things early and often while the kid is sick. Of course, you must also make sure you aren’t using some industrial-grade chemical that will end up poisoning the entire house, too. So, ensure the cleaner is safe to use around babies and/or kids, yet also meets the Environmental Protection Agency standard – usually this means carrying a registration number and displaying the word “disinfectant” on the labeling.

U can’t touch this

Some of the nastiest colds and bugs take pride in entering the body through the face – the nose, eyes and mouth, especially. So keep the hands away from the face as much as possible. This is a good rule of thumb to keep before, during and after a sick child episode.

Photo: woodleywonderworks 100.7 fever via photopin (license)

It can be a gut punch for some men to admit their full-time job is to stay at home with the kids.

Antiquated gender roles dictate that a man’s value is measured by a paycheck, not how well he can care for an infant throughout the day. But being a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) is becoming less of a punchline and more of a reality. Recent statistics show almost 1.4 million stay-at-home dads serve as the primary caregiver for their children.

It can be overwhelming and sometimes even a bit lonely. Wearing a baby backpack to the store in the middle of the day attracts stares and looks of confusion from many. But there’s nothing to be down in the dumps about. You are a rockstar dude who takes care of the kids!

Here’s what I’ve learned about how to succeed at being a SAHD from my time as a stay-at-home dad:

1. Define your role to succeed as a SAHD

Your first step for success as a SAHD isn’t rolling up the sleeves and diving into the diapers. It’s to negotiate. Chat with your partner about the expectations regarding the role of being a stay-at-home parent. Will you be responsible for dinner every night? Who’s doing the laundry? What about the regular housecleaning? If you don’t figure out the right balance and division of labor from the outset, it can lead to a bigger battle down the road.

2. Figure out your ideal schedule

Humans are creatures of habit. To succeed at being a SAHD keep your sanity and the kids from dominating the day, find a routine. Keeping a fairly regular schedule create stability and normalcy for you. Plan some activities, build in some quiet time and keep the kids involved inside and outside (vitamin D — bonus) and tire themselves out.

3. Set aside some “me” time

Trying to succeed at being a SAHD can sometimes seem like being Groundhog Day. It can be lonely – even though you have another human being around to talk to. But without another adult to have real life conversations with, you can find yourself going a little nuts with all the work it takes to keep a young one fully functioning day in and day out. Take at least a few minutes every day get some “me” time. Go for a walk, meditate, workout, play a video game. Do something — anything — to get away from the diaper drama and SAHD recharge.

4. Roll with the punches

While you have your own schedule strategized harder than any football coach before kickoff, the kids ain’t got no time for that. Temper tantrums, diaper blowouts and insert randomness will come at you hard and fast. Find creative ways to get around these situations, keep the kids in line and keep your sanity in check. Be ready for the obstacles and understand that they are all just blips on the radar. You’ll be back to that game plan in no time.

5. Embrace the role to succeed at being a SAHD

Too many stay-at-home dads are embarrassed that their wife is the one bringing home the bacon. When ask what they do for a living, many will quickly launch into some incoherent ramble or jump into a prepared talking point about working from home on [insert whatever side project]. Buck this fear of being emasculated. Staying at home to care for your children is a huge responsibility not for the faint of heart. Be comfortable knowing you’ve stepped up to the plate to take on the job of a lifetime.

6. Take care of yourself

Too much constant attention to the little ones can leave dads forgetting one of the most important thing – taking care of themselves. Day-to-day care of kids is physically and mentally draining. To bring your A-game every day: eat well, exercise regularly, get as much sleep as possible (easier said than done with babies around the house) and avoid the trap of the dreaded Dad Bod. It’ll go a long way towards keeping you fresh for the challenge.

7. Don’t be afraid of the Mean Girls

We’ve come a long way when it comes to gender roles, but progress still needs to be made in terms of co-mingling dads and moms at the play yard. Most stay-at-home dads find it hard to break into the mom groups for fear of coming off like a douche or just because they feel intimidated approaching a gaggle of stay-at-home moms. Understand that we all have more in common than we’d perhaps like to admit. Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation. It’s important to have conversations with other adults in real life throughout the day. Listening to your favorite podcast does not count.

8. Connect with other at-home parents

Don’t be that lonely dude in the park hoping someone will come over and talk to you. To succeed at being a SAHD Find some male companionship – as corny as that may sound on the surface. Dad groups like City Dads Group and the National At Home Dad Network and dad blogs like DaddyMindTricks.com (shameless plug) are terrific resources. They can help you find common ground with other dudes who’ve made the transition to fatherhood and stay-at-home dads. They offer classes and boot camps on how to manage some of the daily rigors of childcare and provide opportunities for like-minded dads that just want to bond with other dads.

9. Ask for help

Super dads (and super moms, for that fact) are not a thing. Too often, the stay-at-home parent of the duo gets this burst of ego that says they are the only ones who can perform the task. We don’t realize that it truly take a team to tackle this task head on. Just because you’ve got some super awesome system for managing 15 things at once and handing it off to your partner may mean sacrificing the specific order of events that you envisioned, don’t let your ego block the way. Ask for help if you need and prevent potential burn out.

10. Don’t settle for lower dad expectations

According to sitcoms and advertisements, all dads have to do to win the fatherhood game is show up, try not to fart too much and make sure the onesie is buttoned somewhat properly. That’s absurd. Understand that every day, whether you are an SAHD or a working dad, isn’t going to be awesome. Some days will downright suck. But as long as you are striving to be a pretty decent dad, strong role model for your kids, and proud teammate and support system to your partner, you’ll end up having more of those awesome days than the poopy ones.

A version of this SAHD post previously appeared on the Huffington Post. Photo: SIM USA via photopin (license)

For new parents, the thought of handing over their infant to a total stranger for eight hours every day is downright terrifying. But, busy moms and dads are expected to do just that when they initiate daycare for their kids.

A recent study through Pew Research shows nearly half of all two-parent households include a mother and father who work full-time. With the ongoing uptick in the workforce, there’s a related need for a childcare solution during the day for children who are not quite of school age.

How to go about finding the best daycare for your child

While finding the best daycare program can be exhausting and downright frustrating, these tips should help alleviate some of that pain:

1. Start the early

The demand for daycare is high and will likely continue to trend upward. And with high demand comes a lengthy waiting list for the programs of choice. As a result, it’s a good idea to actually begin the search for the best daycare once you are expecting and as soon as you’ve made the decision to use a daycare. Seriously, some of the most “exclusive” centers will have wait lists that can last as long as a year. So start your research as soon as possible.

2. Research the best daycare programs in your area

Google and Yelp are certainly your friends in this epic search, but nothing beats word of mouth and the honest review of fellow parents. Ask friends and coworkers for recommendations on the best daycare centers in your area. Ask that program for references. When given the opportunity to speak with a parent whose child attends a specific daycare center, ask about the positives and negatives and everything in between. If they don’t like the center, ask why; if their child is no longer attending that specific program, ask why.

3. Check your budget

The average cost of daycare in the United States is just under $12,000 per year, according to the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies. That’s just the average! In cities like New York, monthly prices can hit the $2,000 mark. Plan accordingly and decide if this is something your household can even afford to begin with; some families find it more financially efficient for one parent to stay at home full-time rather than take on the burden of another huge monthly bill.

4. Visit, ask questions & take notes

The best daycare programs will have an open house or at least provide an opportunity to tour the facilities ahead of making the final decision. This is a great time to observe the providers in action. Ideally, you’ll want a ratio of one caregiver for every three babies in the room. Check for the cleanliness of the facilities and the routine of the caregivers: Do they wash their hands regularly? How do they interact with the children? Does the center itself have an emergency plan in case of fire, flood, tornado, etc., and are first aid kits readily available? What is the holiday schedule?

5. Make sure this daycare is a match

During the interview process, be sure the provider follows similar parenting and care-giving styles to what your child experiences at home. Find out about discipline (scoldings, timeouts, etc.) and what kinds of technologies are used throughout the day (TV, radio, tablets, etc.). The key is for your child to be as comfortable as possible while at the daycare center and for as much consistency as possible.

6. Stay involved & make surprise visits

Once you’ve found the best daycare program for your child, the job is still not done. It’s important to be involved early and often. Communicate with your child’s care provider regularly and get constant feedback on the behavior of your child, feeding habits, number of diapers per day, etc. When possible, stop in at a random time, unannounced, to see just how the day-to-day is going with your child and ensure everything is up to par.

Finding the best daycare for your child is a daunting task, but following a well-thought-out plan will ease that tension and help ensure a smooth transition for both you and your child.

Photo credit: Ali Knight Starfish 158 via photopin (license)