Starting school was difficult for our family last year. Every morning for the first month my son Jake would seemingly break down when he got to the classroom, begging me not to leave. It broke my heart.

His teachers finally approached me and suggested he might do better if he had a consistent school-morning routine. At the time, we didn’t have one. Getting him ready for school was chaotic. So I developed a plan. He would wake up and go potty then have breakfast, get dressed and watch TV for a bit while we waited to walk out the door. Surely it would work.

It did for a while. Soon it turned back into chaos. Unfortunately, as a person with Tourette syndrome, I easily get frustrated. When facing an unexpected challenge, I can go from peaceful to rage in 2.4 seconds. And as always, frustration at home translated to a hard day at school for my son. I worried.

Finally, my wife reminded me of the unique connection I share with my son. We feed off each other’s moods. If I push, he pushes harder. If I were to loosen up and not be so rigid with his school morning routine, things might change for the better. Remain firm, yet flexible.

She was right. When I loosened the reins I found mornings became easier. When my son insisted on watching TV instead of getting dressed and having breakfast, I struck a bargain with him. Instead of forcing him into his room to get dressed before TV time, he could watch TV if he cooperates and gets dressed at the same time.

It also helped me to enter the school morning routine aware that he is not even yet 4 years old. It’s his job to push my buttons and I have to make sure he doesn’t get me riled up. His day at school depends on mornings with me being calm and peaceful. Now I know. And knowing is half the battle.

+ + +

This blog post is part of the #NoDadAlone campaign. Fathering Together/City Dads Group, the National At-Home Dad Network, and Fathers Eve are joining forces to amplify messages that help dads recognize we are not alone! Follow #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and learn more at NoDadAlone.com.

Photo: © Sidekick / Adobe Stock. This post first appeared on the NYC Dads Group blog in 2014.

Being a stay-at-home dad with a daughter has particular challenges.

Don’t get me wrong—I love my daughter. She can be the sweetest, most compassionate, caring and loving person. I cannot describe how much I love her hugs and kisses.

But she always wants to go into the women’s restroom. Whenever we are out, I always pause before deciding what to do. Do I just let her go by herself? What if she locks herself into the stall, can’t turn on the water or reach the soap? How do I not look awkward waiting patiently outside the women’s room?

In public places, such as airports and parks, I prefer to take her with me into the men’s room. However, when she has to go, she has to go! One time, we were at a park when she just ran into the women’s room, and as I ran after her, I stopped in my tracks when I saw the security camera at the entrance. I didn’t want the cops to show up and arrest me for going after a girl in the women’s room!

I was almost arrested once. One day at Santa Monica Pier here in Los Angeles, my daughter was about to pee her pants but we found the men’s room closed for cleaning. I stood at the door of the women’s room, yelling inside every 30 seconds to make sure she was OK. Just as she finished up, a cop car showed up to “check” that I wasn’t some “weird guy” on the pier Once the officer saw my young daughter, he understood my predicament.

Taking her to the men’s room can be equally awkward now that she knows that boys have penises and girls have “jinas.” She asks why boys get to pee at the urinal and she cannot. Sometimes she walks up to other people while they are using the urinal. This is when I realized the concept of privacy isn’t inherent; it has to be taught. Add to that the judgemental looks you get from others when a father helps his daughter to the men’s restroom. Those looks of indignation that “mom” should be doing it (or the assumption that there is even a mom) or that unsolicited advice on how to raise your child. Y

Another restroom challenge is when I have to go and ask her to “stay put” for just enough time to allow me to finish my business. Most of the time, she listens. One time, however, we were visiting the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. She was so thrilled by the experience of seeing the bridge that she forgot to tell us she had to pee, and she started to pee in her car seat. We quickly jumped out of the car to go to the restroom and clean up. It was a big public restroom with dozens of people coming in and out.

After I had cleaned her up, I asked her to wait while I used the facilities. But she wanted to see the bridge again! I almost peed my pants as I ran outside— zipper still down and screaming her name—to catch her. Thankfully, I caught her just before she stepped into the road to cross the parking lot.

I breathe a sigh of relief when a family restroom is available because we can all use the restroom together without a challenge arising. I can change my toddler. We can both go to the restroom in private. I don’t have to worry about her running out the door. It’s nice to see more restaurants, malls and public sites have family restrooms. Sadly, too many non-family people use them for the same reason that I like using them–privacy. It is frustrating when I have waited patiently, too many times, outside the family room just to see a non-parent come out and don’t care even to apologize when they see a family waiting–even when my daughter is doing the “potty” dance. We need more family rooms and stricter enforcement of rules around them so actual families can use them.

Fellow dads—how do you navigate going to the restroom challenge in public facilities? How do you address privacy issues? Do you have any fun stories to share? Post them in the comment section!

+ + +

This blog post, which first appeared on our L.A. Dads Group blog in 2017, is part of the #NoDadAlone campaign. Fathering Together/City Dads Group, the National At-Home Dad Network, and Fathers Eve are joining forces to amplify messages that help dads recognize we are not alone! Follow #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and learn more at NoDadAlone.com.

Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

Our daughter was born two weeks late. I remember going into the hospital nursery and thinking she looked more developed than most of the babies. That’s when I concluded that this meant she would hit all her infant milestones and first-year benchmarks quicker than the rest.

I often think back on a story my dad told me from his childhood. My grandmother insisted that he was potty trained at 3 months old. When asked why, my grandmother said she would look in his crib, and, if his eyes were watery, she knew he had to go to the bathroom. A silly story, of course, but it only reveals to me how we convince ourselves how special our kids are for the “normal” things that they do.

But are children smarter because they talk earlier? Will they be more adventurous and dexterous because they walk earlier? Will they have a more developed and discerning palate if they eat earlier? If we read to them earlier will they read sooner? These questions can go on and on, but I can say that by pondering these issues too much we put undue pressure on both ourselves and on our daughter.

Infant milestones: Helpful or hurtful?

Our daughter missed some of the so-called earlier first-year benchmarks that she should have hit and those so-called failures fed into our neuroses. We questioned whether we were doing anything wrong or if there was anything wrong with our daughter.

Our doctor assured us that infant developmental milestones and benchmarks were only a guide. However, in a competitive world of “whose child was more mature and more advanced,” we were left wanting. We created a self-induced paranoia that got us worried that there was something wrong with our daughter. Were we to blame? There needed to be a reason. 

I remember when I was finally assured that to keep my sanity I should ignore those infant developmental milestones and other benchmarks. We just needed to do what we could to encourage our daughter no matter where she was in the growth process. This finally hit home at one of the dance/music/movement classes we had enrolled our daughter in.

We liked the class leader because of her ability to not only encourage and enhance the life of our daughter but also to be approachable to us as parents when questions arose. I remember the day of my “approach” like it was yesterday. Concerned our daughter was lagging because she wasn’t crawling, I went to her after class. I told her my concerns and she gave me a simple answer. She told me that when our daughter was ready to walk, talk, sing, or in our case crawl then she would do it. We should allow ourselves the peace of mind to know that our daughter would do everything at her own speed and when she was ready.

Guides, not absolutes

Sure enough, she was right. 

We continue to recognize this idea while attempting to potty train our daughter. We realized she understands the idea of going to the potty and will occasionally go; however, she just isn’t ready yet. She will tell us when that time arrives. 

I believe infant benchmarks are certainly important as guides, but that is only how we should use them. There are definite warning signs of developmental delay to be aware of. However, it is generally recommended to avoid hitting the panic button until your infant is missing milestones by several weeks. Then you should talk to your doctor.

Today, we have a child who through love and encouragement is where she is supposed to be right now. When we put pressure on ourselves to follow those benchmarks as the rule of law, disappointment and doubts in our ability as parents were too often the result. There was so much more nuance to raising our daughter. Instead of paying attention to where she should be, we need to just enjoy her for who and where she was at every “benchmark” age. 

Take it from a convert. Save yourself the anguish and enjoy your children as they are.  The mood swings and tantrums of an almost 3-year-old will make you long for the days when they couldn’t crawl, roll over, or talk. 

About the author

Matthew Pasher is a part-time stay-at-home dad. He’s an avid reader, and a Liverpool fanatic who can make a mean mac and cheese from scratch when asked.

This article first ran in 2012 and has since been updated.

It’s been more than 15 years since Matt Schneider and I became at-home dads, knowing that we were headed into the most amazing and challenging years of our lives. We were amateur dads then, and even now, we are far from experts. Fortunately, we are surrounded by a large community of fathers of all stripes in our NYC Dads Group and beyond so we have a network to draw upon for some tips and best practices.

We developed these top 10 tips for stay-at-home dads back in 2011 at the request of HealthyWoman website. We sincerely believe these tips can still be a valuable asset to a parent of any gender who chooses to be the primary caregiver to his or her child.

10 At-Home Parenting Tips for Dads

By stay-at-home dads Lance Somerfeld and Matt Schneider

1. Clear communication with your wife/partner on responsibilities
   It is imperative to discuss expectations and responsibilities early and often regarding all aspects of parenting. Discuss expectations about cooking and home care, contributions to parenting at night and on weekends, managing relatives, etc. Setting clear expectations upfront will reduce conflict and resentment.
2. Find time for yourself
   Now that you are an at-home parent, parenting does not have to consume your entire life. It is extremely important to carve out personal “me” time for yourself to still get together with your friends, hit the gym or pursue a hobby.
3. Take your job seriouslyhttps://citydadsgroup.com/at-home-parenting-isolation/
   As with any other job, you should navigate parenthood with the goal of being the best dad you can be, the same way you strive to succeed at any job.
4. Consider the future
   Being an at-home dad may not be your job forever so it is important to continue networking within your field or area of expertise, staying sharp and keeping up on current events.
5. Connect with other parents
   You are not alone in this journey of parenthood although it may feel isolating at times. In fact, isolation is one of the chief complaints of stay-at-home parents. It’s so important to socialize, network and share your tips and frustrations with other dads. Join a dads group (there are so many of them now) or a local parenting group.
6. Establish a routine
   Having your child(ren) on a consistent schedule (eating, napping, bedtime routine) is important for them so they know what to expect every day and for you so you can confidently plan your day.
7. Get out of the house
   It’s easy to feel overwhelmed at home with housework or parenting responsibilities. Getting fresh air is important for you and your child. Make sure you get out once or twice a day (even during winter) to take a walk with the stroller through a park, run a few errands, enroll in a parent and child class, or hit the local library or bookstore.
8. Seek advice or help
   Let’s face it: many dads don’t like to ask for directions or read the manual. We recommend approaching parenting a little differently — you can’t do it all by yourself. Ask for help when you need it whether it’s hiring a cleaning person to help with housework or calling another parent with a challenge regarding child discipline, potty training or sleep wakings.
9. Embrace the experience
   Sometimes it may be hard to realize, but caring for your child during the first few years of his or her life is a wonderful opportunity. You not only get to observe and witness the major milestones, but, you get to share and enjoy the small wondrous moments that happen every day!
10. Shattering stereotypes and informing society
    At-home dads oftentimes get a bad rap based on negative perceptions in media and society at large. You must inform others, as well as demonstrate through parenting, that fathers can be nurturing, competent and caring.

This at-home parenting tips article was first published 2011 on HealthyWomen. Photo: © Wayhome Studio / Adobe Stock.

One obvious way for parents to get more sleep is by having children who are good sleepers!

On a quest to become better informed, we recently enlisted sleep expert Dr. Whitney Roban, to spend 90 minutes giving us the scoop about how to get our children to sleep better. Her common sense approach comes from her years of experience consulting with families, practicing her strategies on her own two children, and influence from the strategies suggested by another guru, Dr. Marc Weissbleuth.

Twelve dads spent the evening sharing our war stories with Robanz. Our challenges came in all shapes and sizes. Going to bed too late, waking up before 6 a.m., night wakings, falling asleep on a bottle, sleeping with a pacifier, not being able to self-soothe, getting out of their bed, climbing out of their crib, not napping, no schedule, and the list is endless. What is worse — even if you have a child who has always been a fantastic sleeper — life anxiety, a vacation, or getting sick can derail everything you have worked so hard to establish. Basically, you always have to be on top of your child’s sleep routines.

Sleep is a health issue that is as important as food. During sleep, growth takes place. Sleep patterns are also linked to academic results.

Here are some important notes about sleep and how we can all get more sleep:

Children ages 4 months to 4 years old need 11 to 12 hours of uninterrupted plus naps. Naps schedule by age:

• 4 months: three naps, each one hour
• 6 to 9 months: two naps, 1.5 hours each
• 15 to 18 months: one nap, two hours (around noon)

Interestingly, by 3 years of age, most children have given up naps but they really still need them until age 4:

• Good sleepers nap more and change to fewer naps when they are older
• The goal of sleep training is “falling asleep unassisted,” learning to self-soothe
• Unfortunately, crying is involved in the learning process. Many parents can’t deal with that, but sleep training can be effective in as little as nights.

Tips on how parents and children can get more sleep

• Two notable methods of sleep training: one “extinction” from Dr. Marc Weissbleuth and the other is Ferber method which entails check and recheck
• Consistency in the method you select is essential
• No water or milk bottles in bed. Parents need to remove them anyhow during potty training (not to mention the potential dental problems they can cause), so why let them get used to it now?
• A rigid schedule is really important when it comes to sleep
• Night wakings result in sleep deprivation … for the child and the parents.
• Put them in bed before any sleepy clues (yawning, rubbing eyes). Seeing these clues tell you are too late to put them to bed
• More daytime sleep will mean more at night, too
• Respect the bedtime schedule – and get your spouse/partner on board as well
• It was suggested that you don’t take them out before 6 a.m.
• Try to have them in bed before 7 p.m.
• Remove most toys from the bed if it distracts your child in bed
• Give them a 5- to 10-minute rule after waking up. Let them be by themselves so they can stretch and gain composure.
• If your child wakes up crying, let them cry for a few minutes, sometimes they go back to sleep on their own
• Move to a toddler bed around age 3
• If the child climbs out earlier, then give them a mesh tent over the crib

Editor’s Note: We’re digging into our archives to find great articles you might have missed. This article about how to get more sleep comes from 2011. It has since been updated.

Editor’s Note: Back in 2014, City Dads Group co-founders Matt Schneider and Lance Somerfeld were asked to write about what they thought moms, bosses, and others should know about modern dads. Their words, which first appeared in New York Family magazine, still hold true today.

Modern dads can hack it

Generally, we as a society still haven’t quite come around to the idea that dads are also parents. If a dad takes his child on public transportation, goes grocery shopping, or bakes cupcakes for the school fundraiser, he’s a rock star. We’re over-praised by strangers for displaying even the most basic level of involvement in our children’s lives. Recently, on a crowded crosstown bus, Lance was reading a picture book with his son when a lady complimented him for being a “great dad.” What about all of the other moms and caregivers riding the bus with their children? Were they “great” parents too? The bar is still set extremely low for fathers, and we’re asking society to elevate their parenting expectations for us. We can deliver. Just give us the chance.

Today’s fathers love talking about parenting

There’s a mystique and misconception that modern dads keep their feelings inside when it comes to important topics like parenting and relationships. At NYC Dads Group, we have hosted parenting workshops about potty training, happy/healthy sleep habits, admission to preschool, becoming a new dad, and child passenger safety. We have heated conversations during these workshops. Dads were champing at the bit to share their opinions surrounding all topics of parenting. Modern dads want to share best practices for wiping their daughters after a poop, what to do when their kid refuses to nap, or what app they can use to log feedings during the first few months. They also want to vent their many frustrations. There’s the lack of changing stations in public restrooms, the lost spontaneity that comes with strict nap and feeding schedules, and not having enough personal time to pursue hobbies, see friends, or exercise. Today’s dads want to talk parenting — they just need the right forum.

New dads want it all

New and expectant dads are worried about how to be successful at work and successful at home. These dads share their fears and concerns about long hours, business travel, lack of paid family leave and/or flexible benefits, and rigid corporate culture. Not surprisingly, studies show that most dads want to be successful both in their careers and as fathers. We encourage dads to figure out what benefits they have and use them. They need to be transparent with supervisors so their bosses and coworkers know that being a parent is important. After that, we encourage working dads to carve out special time each week to tune in and do something they enjoy with their children.

Modern dads want to be on the team

Parenting is challenging work whether it’s mom or dad in charge. We believe in the idea that dads can be just as nurturing, capable, and confident as moms. Our children need to be fed, cared for, brought to school, assisted with homework, and shuttled to practice. Domestic chores like laundry, cleaning the home, and paying bills need to be tackled, and we’ve drawn the conclusion that it’s so much easier as a high-performance tag team of two. Today’s dads need ample opportunities early and often to learn. Too frequently, moms feel as if they’re the only ones who can properly care for their children, and dads are pushed aside. Please let us fail miserably, pull ourselves up, and learn from our mistakes so we can be capable partners.

Today’s fathers are different

Research shows fathers are more physical with their children. We might push them to take more risks. We also might do less housework, be the “fun” parent, and be more strict disciplinarians.

Frankly, we see plenty of dads on all sides of the spectrum — from the dad who totes around a paring knife and cutting board so fruits and vegetables are prepared at the ready to the dad who doesn’t cook at all and is fine with store-bought snacks. We see the handy dad who turns a milk carton and popsicle sticks into a birdhouse, and dads who pay their building’s super to put together the new toy kitchen. We see the dads who hover over their children as they move from one rung to the next on the monkey bars and dads who encourage their children to scale a 10-foot-high park fence. In our experience, modern dads don’t care about these misconceptions about whether we do it the same or different.

Bottom line? Children benefit from being exposed to various parenting styles. Feel free to find your rhythm, go with your gut, and embrace your differences.

Photo: © opolja / Adobe Stock.

Every child is a delight, a joy, a perfect diamond. They are perfect in every way from the moment of their birth until the moment they leave the nest, and even after.

Except when they’re not.

A few months ago, I sat in the car line waiting to pick up my 5-year-old son from kindergarten. My phone buzzed with a message from his teacher. And then another. And another.

My son had thrown blocks at a student. When confronted by the teacher, he yelled at her. Eventually, it escalated all the way into him punching one of the other students.

There are many messages parents dread. Our children’s safety is always the chief fear. School shootings are an unfortunate constant in American life. We worry that someone might bully our child. Had I received that call, that message would’ve been far easier for me to digest than this one. After all, I’d been bullied through much of school, and my son is like me, right?

I read the messages again. My son wasn’t bullied. He was the bully.

A sense of emptiness settled into my stomach. Not pure anger or sadness, but something between the two, coupled with a deep, deep sense of disappointment. 

The first D-word I had feared as a parent. Yes, I admit I felt disappointed.

And the only way to deal with it was the second D-word, one I’ve always struggled with: discipline.

All kids need discipline, of course. They need to be taught the rules and norms of society. They have to function in school, and not throw blocks or hit. My wife and I don’t believe in spanking. There are plenty of studies that prove — despite what earlier generations have done — striking children does not modify their behavior. We also found minimal success with timeouts and other traditional forms of discipline.

What then? What could we do?

Nurtured Heart Approach changes his life

The incident mentioned wasn’t isolated. In fact, we started hearing from his teacher at least once a week. We had meetings with the principal. We began to suspect the root of his problem was boredom. My son would practice multiplication, division, and even simple exponents in the car, before hopping out to a class whose full-year math curriculum involved counting to a hundred. But knowing the cause didn’t excuse the behavior. Again, that disappointment sank in. My son is brilliant, kind and such a wonderful person. How could we encourage him to choose kindness and compassion? How could we discipline him and avoid disappointment?

My aunt introduced us to “The Nurtured Heart Approach,” a radically different method of behavior modification. Developed by Howard Glasser, and codified in the book Transforming the Difficult Child, the Nurtured Heart Approach relies on three “stands.” The first stand is to not give any energy at all to negative behavior. Timeouts and other discipline often fail to truly transform highly energetic kids because they thrive on negative attention. The second stand awards TONS of positive energy to good behavior. This, even more than the first stand, was transformational for us.

I started noticing interactions between my son and daughter. They’d be happy and content until one would start to bug the other. At that moment, I’d intervene, throwing my energy into trying to resolve the conflict. Nurtured Heart Approach reversed this approach. I started praising the good interactions between my kids and joining them more thoroughly while they were content.

Then, when something went amiss, all I needed was the third stand: the “reset.”

At its heart, the reset is essentially a five-second timeout. It’s a pause where the energy is redirected. Think of Daniel Tiger’s song “Give a squeeze, nice and slow, take a deep breath … and let it go …” Same idea. Tell the kid who’s breaking a rule to reset, and pull all your attention away. That’s it. If they don’t reset, say it again. Might take a hundred resets, but that’s it — no punishments, no lectures about what they did wrong (dumping energy into the behavior you’re modifying). Instead, send energy back into what they’re doing right as soon as they start acting right again.

The above description of Nurtured Heart Approach is a boiled-down oversimplification, of course. It’s worth checking out the book, but be warned — it’s not easy. Not at all. Yet now, months later, the notes we get from the teacher are filled with praise for his behavior. The way he acts with his sister makes me smile.

We still have rough moments. These are the times when he needs to reset. And then we move forward. Because our son has learned that empathy and kindness and compassion are far more important to life than rule-breaking or aggression.

It’s OK, as a parent, to feel those moments of disappointment. It’s OK to recognize that discipline is part of parenting. Let that emotion sink into you and allow yourself to reset your own expectations.

Remember, your kid is still a delight, a joy, a perfect diamond. They are perfect in every way from the moment of their birth until the moment they leave the nest, and even after.

Because even diamonds need polishing. And that’s what parents are for.

Nurtured Heart Approach photo: © natali_mis /  Adobe Stock.

I’ve been a father for almost 11 years, but I haven’t felt like one for nearly that long.

“Imposter syndrome” refers to the feelings of doubt one has about their abilities and accomplishments. With it comes the fear of being exposed as a fraud. It’s usually mentioned in regard to one’s professional life (which: YES), but I actually feel it more frequently as a parent.

Every morning when I wake up – often forcefully, thanks to my toddler – I’m starting from zero. I live in perpetual fear my kids are suddenly going to realize I have no idea what I’m doing.

I know I’m not alone. Being a father isn’t something you study for or get certified in, and it’s not something you list on your resume – although maybe it should be. Getting a toddler to eat dinner and use the potty and brush his teeth is a hell of a lot more challenging than selling widgets!

Fatherhood isn’t so easily quantifiable. I have two children, so I’m a dad by dint of biology and genetics, and that fact won’t change. But feeling like I’m one? That changes constantly.

I first felt like a father on September 15, 2010, approximately 15 minutes past 8 pm, when I cut my son’s umbilical cord. One step forward.

Of course, that sense of accomplishment was nowhere to be found at 8:15 yesterday morning, after the third time I yelled at my 10-year-old to find his damn shoes so we wouldn’t be late for school. Two steps back.

Any progress I make tends to be erased quickly thereafter – sometimes mere moments later.

I finally felt like a father again this afternoon, when I walked in and my 5-year-old ran over to give me a hug. The feeling was ripped away a few hours later when I retrieved my fifth grader from school, and he refused to tell me a single thing about his day. So close, and yet, so far.

Every day, a thousand tiny moments make me question whether I’m cut out to be dad. Meanwhile, a thousand more make me feel like it’s the only thing I’m good at. It’s a constant roller-coaster ride, but I actually prefer it that way.

It stops me from becoming complacent. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a dad (and from Star Wars), it’s that overconfidence is your weakness.

Parenting is unpredictable. You weather one phase only to drown in the next. Then you survive teething only to blow the sex talk. You master potty-training only to flail at helping with fractions.

It’s spontaneous and scary and exhilarating and overwhelming and life-defining and completely disorienting all at once. I’m not sure I’ll ever be comfortable with it.

When did I first feel like a father? It’s been over a decade and I still don’t.

But ask me again tomorrow.

A version of the above first appeared on Dad and Buried.

Tips to Help Overcome Imposter Syndrome for Parents

• Ask your spouses/partner for help reinforcing the positive attributes of each other’s parenting. Ask them to avoid being judgmental of the other’s parenting actions
• Understand most parents are also learning as they go, and none have the right answer/solution for every situation with their children.
• Realize that many “perfect” parents on your social media feeds are cherry-picking what they show you. All have human moments like the rest of us.
• Join a parenting social/support group. You’ll find how common imposter syndrome is, and some encouragement to help overcome it.

Photo: © Andrey Popov / Adobe Stock.

St. Patrick’s Day dad jokes for kids: You’d think a father with my name would have a slew of riddles, puns and other Irish jokes for his children that deal with this holiday?

Well, I do, even though my Irish lineage has long been in doubt. Are you green with envy … or did you just get sloppy with the food coloring on that last batch of beer?

So if you’ve enjoyed our previous holiday-themed, family-friendly dad jokes for children (Valentine’s Day being the latest, Easter dad jokes on tap!), then these gags about leprechauns, shamrocks and all things green will have you and your kids Dublin over with laughter. Erin go braugh, everyone!

Best/worst St. Patrick Day’s dad jokes for kids

Q: What’s Irish and stays outside your house all night?
A: Paddy O’Furniture.

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because real rocks are too heavy.

Q: What do you call an Irish fairy who goes to jail?
A: A lepre-con.

+ + +

Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Warren.
Warren who?
Warren anything green for St. Patrick’s Day?

+ + +

Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short!

Q: What do you get if you cross Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Saint O’Clause.

Boy: Dad, I met an Irish girl on St. Patrick’s Day!
Dad: Oh, really?
Boy: No, O’Reilly!

Q: How do you pay for soft drinks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: With soda bread.

Q: Why should you never hold a four-leaf clover too tightly?
A: You don’t want to press your luck.

Q: What do you call it when a flash mob’s Irish dance routine goes wrong?
A: A jig mistake.

Q: What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow?
A: A Potty Gold.

Q: What did St. Patrick say to the snakes before he drove them out of Ireland?
A: “Everyone got on their seat belts?”

Q: What do you call an Irish jig performed at a fast-food restaurant?
A: A Shamrock Shake.

Q: What do you call a Dwayne Johnson impersonator?
A: The Sham-Rock!

Q: What do you call leprechauns who collect cans, newspapers and plastic bottles?
A: Wee-cyclers.

Q: How can you tell if an Irishman likes your joke?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter.

Q: What do you call a tiny criminal with a skin disease?
A: A leper-con.

Q: What do you get when you pluck a four-leaf clover out of poison ivy?
A: A rash of good luck.

Q: What do you get if you cross a leprechaun with a frog?
A: A little man having a hopping good time!

+ + +

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!

St. Patrick’s Day dad jokes for kids / Irish sitter photo: ©Pixel-Shot / Adobe Stock.