My journey into the world of AI-generated art began two weeks before Thanksgiving. I sat down in front of my computer to experiment with Midjourney, an artificial intelligence program that creates images from text descriptions. I entered the command “/imagine” and a message from the Midjourney bot appeared: “There are endless possibilities …”

Excited, I typed out the image in my mind:

A young african american man wearing a white t-shirt, jeans and sneakers, is flying through the clouds and space as if in a dream.

Midjourney generated four versions that the beloved painter and art instructor Bob Ross might have called “happy little accidents.” In each, the clouds look like unruly cotton balls. The man has no discernible face. He also does everything but fly through the clouds: he walks on them, sits on them, or has his head lost in them. The images were garbage.

After a few days of studying the text-to-image prompts of other users, I refined my descriptions. Finally, through trial and error, I learned how to guide AI to generate images closer to my vision. I’ve turned my daughter into Princess Leia, myself into a guardian angel, and reimagined Santa Claus as Batman.

AI-Generated art and Black fatherhood

As a Black dad who blogs, I was curious to see how AI imagines fatherhood. One day I typed: young african american father holding sleeping baby, illustration. Midjourney produced four touching images that evoked my early, sleep-deprived days of dadhood when I cradled my daughter in my arms to help her fall asleep. I posted one of the images to Instagram and titled it “The Whole World in His Hands.”

The comments from other Black dads were positive. I imagine they felt seen.

That inspired me to create more AI-generated art drawing from my own experiences or those of fathers I know. I made images of Black dads teaching their sons how to tie a necktie. Reading books with their children. On date nights with their spouses. Spending time with their daughters. Essentially, Black dads being present in the lives of their loved ones. Images that are all contrary to the “absentee father” myth prevalent in news media, politics, and pop culture.

I would occasionally forget to use the descriptor “African American” before “father” in my image prompts and Midjourney would, predictably, generate images with white fathers. It didn’t bother me at first. But after the second and third time, I started thinking, “Why aren’t Black fathers included in AI’s default definition of fatherhood?”

So I did an experiment. I typed “fatherhood” into Midjourney 10 times. The bot generated four images each time creating 40 images of what it was programmed to associate with fatherhood.

Only one image was of a Black father. One out of 40.

And none appeared to be people of color.

According to AI, the default image of “fatherhood” is a white father holding or hugging a child.

“I am invisible”

The issue of bias in image generation systems shouldn’t be surprising. As digital artist and academic Nettrice Gaskins noted in a recent Instagram post: “The processes by which machines learn to recognize images is like how humans see things. Neural nets are fed millions of images from databases; they use input from humans to classify and sort image data and come up with probabilities of what the final images will be. Artists can change the parameters for how a network or system identifies, recognizes, and processes these images, which gives them a certain amount of power to influence or make decisions about which images are generated.”

Still, it felt like the kind of distortion Ralph Ellison famously described in his 1952 novel Invisible Man: “I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination — indeed, everything and anything except me.”

Representation matters. It matters because it validates experiences and lifts aspirations.

That’s the reminder I’m taking with me into February — Black History Month — as I continue my artistic adventure with Midjourney. As Gaskins encouraged, I have the power to influence the images generated by AI. I have the power to widen the visual representation of Black fatherhood.

“There are endless possibilities …”

One of the ongoing debates among parents is how to regulate a child’s screen time, often with moms, dads and “experts” lending their ideas on what restrictions to set. This gets evermore tricky with the increasing number of available devices (televisions, computers, tablets, cell phones) and their mobility allowing them to be viewed not only at home but almost everywhere at any time.

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages most screen time for children under age 6 and, after that, it calls for encouraging “healthy habits” that include limits on when and where screens can be used. The problem is, as The Mayo Clinic notes, “As your child grows, a one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work as well. You’ll need to decide how much media to let your child use each day and what’s appropriate.”

Clearly, no right or wrong answer exists. Parents must do what they feel is best for their child in a given circumstance. In our house we’ve adopted a perspective that somewhat goes against the norm: We have no restrictions on our children’s screen time.

Our reasons for unlimited screen time

Here are some of the main reasons we use this approach, and some of our personal results:

1. We believe rationing a child’s screen time leads to dependency, even a sort of addiction. Living in a state of constant fear or anxiety that something we enjoy could be taken away often leads to an all-consuming obsession with that thing whenever we have it.
2. We don’t put devices on a pedestal. As they’re constantly and readily available for our children, our kids don’t view devices as anything special. More often than not, our two children will choose to play with toys, color or read a book over using their tablets. Since they’ve grown accustomed to them always being there, there’s never been a need to have them at all times.
3. We don’t allow an entirely free range of use when it comes to devices. Both our children’s tablets are governed by parental controls (they’re Android, and we utilize the Family Link app). We also moderate the content they’re allowed to watch so that anything they might see has already been pre-approved.

Admittedly, this approach hasn’t been entirely without issues. However, in talking to multiple other parents with a more “traditional” approach, I realized our family has had fewer arguments and complaints about devices and those we have had have been much less severe.

This approach has also allowed us to effectively “steer into the skid” in terms of how technology is being used for educational purposes. Our son is in kindergarten and like many kids, his school assigned him an iPad for classwork. Utilizing technology will become more and more prevalent as the years go by, and as parents, we want to make sure we’ve done everything possible to nurture a positive and healthy relationship between our children and their devices.

No restrictions on screen time photo: © Brocreative / Adobe Stock.

You know Chad. Every business in America has one.

Chad is the nice-looking, smiley, firm-hand-shaking, future C-level executive-to-be at your office. Chad is smart, but more than that, he has that “it” factor that propels him to the front of any promotion process. When you think about Chad, he seems more accomplished than pragmatically productive.

I am no Chad. I tried but have fallen short. I’m OK with it, mostly because after my wife and I started having kids, I realized I could set out to provide some lucky corporation a future Chad of my making. Yes, I’d raise my kids to be witty, quick, effective communicators who weren’t afraid of the big stage or bright lights. They would be built to dazzle any high powered, future boardroom – just like Chad.

Fifteen years into this parenting thing, though, my kids are no Chads.

Not only are my kids are not exuding the skills required, COVID-related changes to corporate America have me thinking that the Chad I knew in my young career will require a makeover to sustain his seat at the top.

The company I work for, like many, has been closed its offices to in-person working since mid-March 2020. Working remotely has ushered in a different skill set required to collaborate. While I talk to communication with colleagues via the phone, email and daily Zoom meetings, we are far more isolated than before. I had better get used to the isolation as many workplaces may have employees permanently work remotely as they harvest the productivity gains of employees’ evergreen availability and the savings on office space costs.

While I enjoy this new work-from-anywhere phenomenon, Chads may not. After all, there are no golf outings for them to rub shoulders with other C-level guys. Fewer opportunities exist for them to deliver a rousing lecture about next quarter’s sales outlook. Gone is their chance to leverage their off-the-charts charisma to make an executive-level first physical impression for new employees. Corporate Chads have been relegated to working in the connected-but-disconnected world where, to my chagrin, my kids feel most comfortable.

Will a nerd rule in a remote work culture?

Chads might find it strange that my kids:

• Rarely communicate with friends outside of group chats
• Only try to impress each other by shooting meaningless selfies back-and-forth via SnapChat
• Find normal curiosity – like asking a teacher for clarity after class — a waste of their time
• Would rather perform a Google search than ask another human for assistance
• “Socialize” in the isolation of their rooms via gaming consoles with (mostly) strangers
• Place far more value on the result (i.e., the letter grade) than the process (learning a concept by understanding test materials)
• Have no idea of that the “it” factor is — only surmising that “it” must involve the number of followers one has on Instagram

Instead of lamenting my inability to mold my children into a Chad, maybe their nerd view of the world, way of communicating, and flexibility in handling a global pandemic will redefine the successful professional of the future.

Might this be a real life “Revenge of the Nerds”?

If there is existential risk for the traditional Chad, should parents stop badgering our kids about their lack of social skills? In a world that requires more technical prowess than intrapersonal skill, should we care about kids’ communicating via choppy texts, selfies and cartoon emojis?

While I see the balance of technical and social skills to be shifting, I’m not ready to write Chad’s eulogy just yet. I still place value on my kids’ ability to have healthy relationships with people around them. We shouldn’t take for granted that our kids know how to foster traditional friendships. They are not around each other much anymore. More than ever, I’m pushing hard for my children to stay involved in activities outside of school. After all, activities are the only time our children are without a connected device during their waking hours from middle school on.

I’m learning to turn my attention from building Chads to re-emphasizing the importance of befriending humans in the world of IBM Watson. I struggle, though, with helping provide appropriate balance between technology and social skills.

I want my kids to have good, deep friendships with people around them. I want my kids to navigate rooms of strangers. I want my kids to use technology to bring this vast world closer. I want them to be as happy in public arenas as in their bedroom sniping strangers on Fortnite.

I’ve come to the realization that my kids won’t be Chads. That might not be such a bad thing.

Maybe kids, in general, are nerdier now. That said, I’ll stop short of saying that nerd qualities – like perceived social isolation and lack of charisma – will prevent them from becoming a solid contributor in their chosen field of work. Our kids may be successful because of (not despite) the things we worry most about: lack of face-to-face connection, inability to speak publicly, and more interest in virtual relationships.

We are living in a “Revenge of the Nerds” re-boot – one making today’s nerd tomorrow’s Chad.

Nerd photo: © chomplearn_2001  / Adobe Stock.

If you’re working full-time from home while also adjusting to your kids being there around the clock thanks to remote learning, you’re probably seeing sides of them you hadn’t before. You might see them slacking off a bit without a teacher there to keep them on track. They might be taking breaks a little too frequently or walking away from their work whenever they get bored.

To an extent, you can’t blame them. You’re probably facing many of these challenges yourself. Having so much freedom tempts you to do things you wouldn’t otherwise since there’s no one there telling you otherwise. Maybe you’re listening to loud music while you work. Or wearing sweats while on business calls. Maybe yourr starting work at 11 a.m. instead of 9. But if you children’s newfound freedom is causing them to fall behind in school, it’s time to take some initiative.

Remote learning can be difficult for kids. The limits of online schooling make it much harder for teachers to provide comprehensive learning plans. When their students have learning challenges or disabilities, the challenge becomes greater. Therefore, you must seek additional resources and make a plan to fill in the educational gaps for their children.

Remote learning intensifies pre-existing struggles

Remote learning has posed many new challenges for kids who were already struggling to keep up in school. Children with ADD, who already have trouble sitting still in the classroom, struggle even more when forced to sit through hours of required screen time. Kids who struggle verbally, whether with a stutter or painfully shyness, are even more hesitant to speak up during video learning sessions. Such challenges intensify with remote schooling — and parents must take it on themselves to find a solution.

So where do fathers come in? If it took working from home for you to realize your child is behind the curve, don’t give up hope. Instead, think of schooling from home as a blessing. If it wasn’t for remote-learning you may not have recognized this problem until much later. Now that you have recognized it, figure out how you can be proactive in preventing your kid from falling further behind.

Scheduling private time with teacher

A great first step is to talk to their teachers. See if they also are aware of your kids’ learning difficulties. While they may not be as attuned to your children’s educational weaknesses as you are, their teachers are aware that many kids are struggling to adjust to remote learning and should provide solutions for getting them back on track. If their teacher is willing, schedule a weekly or bi-weekly time for your children to attend one-on-one video sessions to work on subjects they’re struggling with.

If one-on-one sessions with the teacher isn’t an option, don’t worry. There are plenty of online learning resources to give your kids the extra help they need. Some websites provide links to online resources and platforms to help children with subjects they’re struggling in.

Finding freedom in the “new normal”

Your children may be struggling with online schooling because they don’t have other classmates around to keep them motivated. To cure this, find creative and safe ways for them to see their old friends. Reach out to their classmates’ parents to see if you can organize a day at the park when the kids can participate in socially distanced learning exercises. This could be writing math equations in chalk, acting out history lessons or having an outdoor spelling bee. As long as all social distance rules are followed, these playdates provide a healthy outlet for kids. It helps them get reacquainted with each other and offer an opportunity to get help from classmates who excel in subjects they struggle with. Remember, your kids have been deprived of normal socialization for almost a year; if anything, seeing their friends can bring back some normalcy.

If certain times of the day seem to be harder for your children to learn during, consider rearranging their schoolwork schedule. Work around their required online schooling sessions to give them breaks at times when they tend to be the least productive. A great thing about remote learning is the freedom and flexibility to choose when they do things, to some extent. So if one of your children is not a morning person, why should he start school at 8 a.m.? Let him sleep in and start the day when he is fully rested and ready to learn.

Setting up kids for online school success

While you may be enjoying all the extra time you have with your children because of remote learning, it’s important for you to establish that education comes first. If you see struggles because of distractions at home, a lack of socialization or because school’s just hard for them in general, make sure that you’re doing everything you can to keep them on track. Using online resources, taking advantage of the freedoms of schooling from home, and scheduling socially distanced playdates are all ways you can set up children success while they’re learning remotely.

About the author

Eric M. Earle is a Portland-based tutor and the founder of TutorPortland.com. He knows how challenging remote school has been for parents, so he co-founded ZoomTutor.com to fill in the gaps!

Remote learning photo: © Suzi Media / Adobe Stock.

Based on my parenting experience, I immediately associate the word “virtual” with meaning “almost.” That there’s been a diminished effort, something watered down or, very simply, done half-assed.

And, to date, my inclination to disregard anything my kids say is virtual has been proven right. Virtually every time.

Everett, my 5-year-old “picked up virtually all the LEGOs.” Then, after tucking him in, my bare footsteps entirely on one of those little, yellow character heads.

Yosef, my oldest, said he “did virtually all of my math.” Never mind his weekly progress reports littered with the word “incomplete.”

My 3-year-old says she ate “virtually all of my green beans.” She says it emphatically as if she has earned the right to move on to dessert. Meanwhile, four lonely beans grow cold next to her plate.

This is why I quickly dismissed the concept of my fifth grader, Lynden, attending advanced math class via a virtual school setting this semester. I was fine with the, pardon the term, old-school, brick-and-mortar structure my kids attend – no need for any virtual school here, thank you very much and good day, sir!

But, like most modern parents, I shelved my initial hesitation to make sure Lynden had access to an opportunity I didn’t. We decided to give the virtual school a try and, to date, my preconceived notions of it being “almost school” have been entirely wrong. Virtually.

Virtual math class has been tough for my son. An otherwise good student who rarely needs to expend too much effort, Lynden cries every day about something related to the online class: misunderstanding concepts, complaints about poor example problems given, or his failed attempts at using alternative methods to solve problems. My wife and I are constantly fielding questions from Lynden – often as he fights back tears – seeking clarity on topics covered in the course materials that he skimmed through too quickly.

In general, I don’t enjoy seeing any of my kids struggle, but, in this case, I kind of like it. Success at his elementary school has come easy for Lynden and I fear he has started figuring out that a 90 percent yields the same grade as a 100 percent. So why put in the extra effort? Having him pound us with questions for his online class has made it clear that in school he is spoon-fed concepts by a teacher ready to swoop in when a student hits a speed bump.

This virtual school experience has shaken his complacency and is forcing him to use (or develop) skills that the traditional, classroom setting is not:

Virtual Lesson #1: Keeping pace on one’s own

Lynden must manage his schedule to meet deadlines without a plan that has been laid out for him. The virtual school provides guidance regarding keeping up and milestones to make sure students remain on pace. In school, though, adults tell the students exactly what today’s work will be, remind them of impending deadlines and often give the test’s content in advance.

As he progresses through higher grades and into the workforce, no one will tell Lynden the sequence of steps needed to be successful. Rather, deadlines will exist and the path to those due dates will be irrelevant.

Virtual Lesson #2: Figure it out for yourself

Lynden came into the virtual school needing a constant lifeline – an on-call expert who would appear at his side during any times of ambiguity or struggle. That mentality doesn’t work in a virtual learning setting. Whether in school, at work or in the arena, no one should get 100 on everything the first time. Missing problems and grinding through the rework to find the solution is a critical life lesson.

Virtual Lesson #3: Work well with others even if they aren’t in the room

The virtual classroom mandates healthy, online collaboration with other students. Watching Lynden learn how to work with others online intrigues me. I’m convinced this is a necessary skill he must develop. Working remotely with colleagues of varying experience levels and with differing viewpoints will be the way of getting things done in the future. Virtual school is teaching Lynden this lesson for the first time in fifth grade.

While I’ve come around on the benefits of young kids learning remotely, I’ll stop short of saying virtual school is a 1-to-1 substitute for the standard elementary school experience. Kids do need the socialization and face-to-face interactions that a school day provides. However, they also need to understand how to work with people in other places, to manage their schedule and to develop the persistence needed to grind through lessons without the crutch of a teacher there to clear up any immediate confusion.

Online learning is here to stay – in my house and, if it isn’t already, in yours soon. That should excite, not scare, us parents. I’m virtually certain of it.

Photo: Tobin Walsh

“Daaaaaad! Stooooop! Let me finish!”

My son turns 14 in a few weeks. In the last few of those years, my wife and I have noticed an unpleasant trend: the more time he interacts with any sort of digital content through his laptop or mobile phone, the more difficult it is for him to control his negative impulses.

Of course, the word “addiction” didn’t cross our minds for most of this time. After all, one of these toys – his laptop – was mandated by his school for “educational purposes.” But all parents these days have heard the debates about screen time limits for children, pro and con, and it’s difficult to reconcile what to do given prevalence of technology in our everyday lives.

Then I stumbled on a book about a year ago called Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked by Adam Alter, a professor of marketing and psychology at NYU. It offers some stark warnings about personal technology designs such as how interfaces in our computing/mobile devices are saturated with constant lure. If you haven’t read it yet, please do. He also offered concise thoughts in several interviews, which are available on YouTube.

My wife and I feel very lucky to have caught this addictive technology issue early and to have accepted the reality of the gadget-saturated world we live in. We consider ourselves lucky because we understood the negative influence of “smart” devices on our kids’ behaviors early enough to be able to actively curate it – as best as we can. We’re even more lucky to have enough stoicism when setting rules for use of tech in our house and listening to our son — and now our daughter, who just turned 8 — lament about restrictions. (No, we’re not saints. Not even close. I am quite susceptible to pings, buzzes and beeps of my work and personal phone. I also use the LinkedIn business app as my digital newspaper and thought leadership channel – all through my devices.)

Combating addictive technology everyday

Based on our experience, we can see two clear bright spots:

• We never stop talking to our kids about the dangers of addiction to devices. We also set passwords and time limits as an additional layer of control. Begrudgingly, they have come along. This helps them develop stronger emotional core.
• We make it a point to get our kids involved in extracurricular activities like sports and arts – anything to make them do and feel things in the real world. In parallel, we try our best to curate their consumption of digital content. We don’t kid ourselves – it doesn’t always work. Just recently our daughter was watching what we thought was an innocent YouTube video of someone playing Minecraft. I was lucky enough to be near when I noticed how the character decided to …. amputate his arm!

It’s not and won’t be easy in the foreseeable future to manage our children’s exposure to technology. The pace of innovation in that field is far outpacing our cognitive abilities and ethical design is only now coming into focus. So my final word of advice is this: Pay attention and be addicted to a balance in your kids’ engagement with tech.

As a dad always armed with my BlackBerry device to capture that milestone or candid moment on the camera, read the news paper or some blogs while my son naps, or answering emails from time to time … I understand the addiction to the smartphone device. Let’s face it, as an at-home dad, I spend very little time at home so I need some way to stay connected!

Do you often wonder if we are too connected? How does all of this technology usage affect our kids? Your Brain on Computers: The Risks of Parenting While Plugged In by Julie Scelfo in the New York Times addresses parents’ use of technology (like Smartphones, Instant Messaging, Twitter, etc) and “its effect on their offspring that is now becoming a source of concern to some child-development researchers.” As usual, thanks to Matt S., for forcing my hand to read this one.

In her studies, Dr. Turkle said, “Over and over, kids raised the same three examples of feeling hurt and not wanting to show it when their mom or dad would be on their devices instead of paying attention to them: at meals, during pickup after either school or an extracurricular activity, and during sports events.”…“I’ve talked to children who try to get their parents to stop texting while driving and they get resistance, ‘Oh, just one, just one more quick one, honey.’ It’s like ‘one more drink.’ ”

This article makes you think more critically “that smartphones and laptops may enable some parents to spend more time at home, which may, in turn, result in more, rather than less, quality time overall.” Even though I am usually participating in “engaged parenting” — the type of parenting where you are “talking and explaining things to children, and responding to their questions — remains the bedrock of early childhood learning.”…sometimes, I take advantage of using my device at the expense of quality parent-child bonding. Does that make me a bad parent?