Moore, the founder and managing director of Base Ventures — an early-stage tech venture fund, explains how he has done that through his life by making wise choices on the latest Modern Dads Podcast.

The native of the Bay Area of California was one of the first investors in Zappos. He has been one of the “25 Most Influential African-Americans In Tech” by Business Insider. Moore is also a widower, and he discusses overcoming the tragedy of losing his wife and mother of his daughter.

Moore is interviewed by City Dads blog contributor Mike Dorsey for Dorsey’s own Black Fathers, NOW! podcast. Dorsey, known as “Mike D” by many, is an author, business entrepreneur, community organizer, speaker and podcaster who aims to create a community for active and engaged Black fathers.

+ Listen to Erik Moore on Modern Dads Podcast +

Moore spent his early career as an investment banker after earning his undergraduate from Dartmouth College and his MBA from The Wharton School of Business in Pennsylvania. In 2016, he was recognized with the Next Generation of Excellence Achievement Award by the Silicon Valley Black Chamber of Commerce. The next year he received the Entrepreneur of the Year Award from The Oakland African American Chamber of Commerce, Wharton’s Trailblazer Award for his achievements in venture capital, and was named a Man of Courage, a Ford Motor Co. program to to build communities by advancing the narrative of black men through storytelling, intergenerational forums, and community programs.

Erik Moore is a board member of The Common Ground Foundation—founded by award-winning artist, Common. He serves on the city of Oakland’s Fund Advisory Board and  the advisory board of the Museum of the African Diaspora in San Francisco.

Even with all his achievements, Moore — according to his company’s bio — says his most important role is as a father.

Our much-acclaimed Modern Dads Podcast returns Feb. 25 with a new season of episodes covering issues today’s fathers face navigating work, parenthood, relationships and play. If you have a thirst for dad podcasts right this minute, here are a few we think you should check out:

The Art of Fatherhood

Art Eddy knows dad podcasts. He’s produced or hosted them for the Life of Dad social network for years, including the Art of Conversation that focuses on writers who are fathers. His baby these days is the Art of Fatherhood. Here interviews dads from the worlds of entertainment, music and sports about their latest projects and … being a dad, duh! Recent guests have included comedic actor Bobby Moynihan (Saturday Night Live, Mr. Mayor), pro football Hall of Famer Anthony Munoz, actor Jaleel White (Family Matters) and musician Josh Abbot.

Black Fathers, NOW!

City Dads Group contributor Mike Dorsey is an author, business entrepreneur, community organizer, speaker and — yes — podcaster. Dorsey aims to redefine and uplift the image of African American dads through inspiring discussions with engaged black fathers. Dorsey will be a guest host on the Modern Dads Podcast this season, interviewing venture capitalist Erik Moore.

Charlotte Dads Group Podcast

This podcast by the leaders of one of our most active City Dads chapters kicked off its second season this past autumn. So far they’ve already had a guest expert talking about the secrets of making great barbeque, serious discussions about overcoming one’s parental fears, and doled out advice on making your child’s nighttime routine easier on the both of you. The Charlotte Dads will appear on Modern Dads Podcast to discuss hobbies they share with their kids.

Dad House

This recently launched podcast features City Dads Group contributor Shannon Carpenter and four of his at-home father friends. They yuck it up on any and everything, such as their initial episode’s debate of SUVs vs. minivans. They promise to also take on serious subjects as they plumb their experience raising a combined 16 children in the heart of the Midwest.

The #FatherhoodIsLit Podcast

NYC Dads Group co-organizer (and City Dads blog contributor) James Lopez hosts a self-described “raw and unfiltered” dad podcast that talks about hip hop, the stock market, dealing with life trauma and even making cash by reselling your kids old stuff. Lopez will be a guest host on the Modern Dads Podcast this season, interviewing opera singer Kenneth Kellogg.

The NOMADad Podcast

Brock Lusch, the founder of our Cincinnati Dads Group, started his podcast (an acronym for “Not on My Ass Dad”) in 2018 to share “impactful stories of life experiences, hobbies and those moments that are viral worthy but may only be heard in person or on this show.” In addition to interviewing authors and experts, he’s mined more than a few everyday nuggets such as the father who leads his daughter’s Girl Scout troop. Lusch will be a guest host on the Modern Dads Podcast this season, interviewing children’s book author Vernon Gibbs II.

Dad podcasts photo: © Guillem de Balanzó / Adobe Stock.

I had a conversation with a friend recently about the value of learning about what interests our kids.

“If you don’t know what they’re interested in, then you’re not in a position to effectively offer them great counsel,” he said to me. “You can’t offer advice or insight in areas that you have zero knowledge in. Therefore, even if it’s something you don’t understand, it makes sense to at least explore the subject matter so that you can be a resource to your kids. At a minimum, you gain clarity on where you need to seek outside help.”

This statement really made me think. Why do we, as dads, avoid learning new things? Why do we shy away from certain subject matter or topics?

I came to a conclusion that we tend to “fear” certain things. And that thought process made me think about a concept that’s floated around in various circles — the concept of individuals needing to “study what you fear.”

If we’re completely honest, nine times out of 10 we fear something simply because we don’t understand it. For example, people who tend to fear guns are typically didn’t grow up around guns and have no level of proficiency with them. Once you become proficient in everything associated with guns, one typically doesn’t fear guns anymore. You might fear “people with guns,” but you don’t fear guns anymore. The same thing happens with individuals around water. Folks who tend to have some level of fear around water are typically individuals who don’t know how to swim or are confident in their swimming ability. But once they’ve studied the art of swimming by taking lessons and reading up on it, practiced in a safe environment and become proficient, their fear of water becomes less dominant.

It’s interesting that this is an article for dads because there’s a contingent of individuals out there who fear fatherhood. But, once you become a dad you realize that there’s really nothing to fear. It’s tough, but it’s not something that you need to be afraid of. Most of us have gotten to the place of overcoming our fear of being a father by “studying” the art of fatherhood. It might be more “on the job” studying by actively parenting and talking to other dads than reading books about it, but the reality is we studied what we feared and the fear disappeared.

As dads, we must remember we’re writing the playbook for our children to follow. Kids don’t always do what they’re told, yet they’ll have a tendency to replicate what they see us do. If we want to raise children — and later adults — who aren’t paralyzed by fear, let’s start modeling actions that teach them how to punch fear directly in the face.

So today, I challenge you. Think about something you fear and study it closely. Fear is a natural response to the unknown, therefore I’m asking you to buck natural and embrace it — embrace the study of your fears. You might have questions about it. You may find it’s not your cup of tea. But, the reality is, you won’t fear it anymore and you’ll better understand what others do. You can start this process today by taking a deeper dive into the things your kids are interested in, whether we understand them or not, whether we fear the complexity of the new technology or not, let’s at least try and make it a point to create the habit of “studying what we fear.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mike Dorsey, known as “Mike D” by many, is an author, business entrepreneur, community organizer, speaker and podcaster. He hosts the Black Fathers, NOW! podcast and founded the apparel company Black Family Apparel. He has author two books: Dynamic Black Fatherhood Manifesto and ABE: Always Be Engaged — The 7 Keys to Living a Fit Urban Life. He can be reached via Instagram, Facebook or email.

Photo: ©TSUNG-LIN WU / Adobe Stock.

When you have multiple children, you quickly realize parenting siblings individually to a collective audience is one of the most challenging issues you face.

Each child is different and requires different types of attention, different resources and different parenting styles for maximum effectiveness. Even when you give it your best to be fair and equitable in parenting these different individuals, you realize that at times you simply come up short.

How often do your kids hit you with, “You let the other one do it!” or the classic, “That’s not fair!”? If you’re like me, these declarations are a consistent part of household conversations. But that begs the question: How do I, as a parent, effectively give the individualized attention necessary to each kid in the amount needed for their optimal growth and development without appearing to not be equitable in my approach?  

This difficult question has baffled my wife and me for years. We are currently in the midst of trying to find legitimate solutions, mostly through trial and error. For starters, we’ve recently started using the phrase, “What’s special for you is special for you.” With that conversation, a whole different way of looking at the art of parenting opens up that revolves around the old “practicing what you preach” mantra.

Good modeling, clear explanations

“What’s special for you is special for you” only works when we as parents put this into practice. We all know kids don’t always do what they’re told, but most often they repeat what they see. Therefore, if mommy and daddy are constantly complaining about things not being fair or about what someone else has or has not accomplished, it’s no wonder their children adopt this type of commentary. We have to be mindful as parents, specifically as dads, to model actions we want repeated by our kids and not those that we don’t.

In the spirit of truly embodying the concept of “what’s special for you is special for you,” we have to model making the most of the opportunities at our disposal. We have to use unique opportunities to show the kids that differences aren’t a deficit. In fact, sometimes they are a unique superpower. We also have to show how differences in one circumstance may elevate some people while conversely making things more difficult for others. Then we should discuss how other situations or circumstance may turn the tables around for those same people.

One example of “what’s special for you is special for you” that bubbled up in our home recently revolved around one child having a birthday party to attend while the other one didn’t. When we pointed out that when the tables were turned, the other sibling experienced the same thing, the child crying “unfair” now clearly understood. An example of where a child might have harder time understanding that is when a situation revolves around one sibling needing more help and attention in an area where the other sibling may already be proficient. This requires us to work on finding tangible ways to make this point clear. What we ultimately want is for our children to understand that mommy and daddy strive to create an environment where everyone has the best opportunity to thrive.

Unity vs. uniformity

I think the best way to think about parenting siblings requires considering unity versus uniformity. By having unity in our direction as a family, we approach things from the standpoint working toward a common goal of success. Uniformity suggests we’re using the exact same cookie-cutter methodology with each child. As much as it would be easy to just “copy and paste” our methods and strategies from kid to kid, easy isn’t always the best policy. 

That being said, we’re going to continue to navigate this parenting journey the best way we know how.  We’ll continue instituting the “what’s special for you is special for you” perspective in our communication while we simultaneously model it to the kids. And as always, we’ll continuously be on the lookout for better methods to improve ourselves as parents. Having an individualized approach to the collective audience of multiple kids takes energy, patience and probably a bit of wine … but we’re up for the challenge!  

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mike Dorsey is an author, business entrepreneur, community organizer, speaker and podcaster. He aims to create a community for active and engaged black fathers. The Augusta, Ga., native hosts the Black Fathers, NOW! podcast and founded the apparel company Black Family Apparel, which celebrates positive imagery of the black family through messaged clothing. He has author two books: Dynamic Black Fatherhood Manifesto and ABE: Always Be Engaged — The 7 Keys to Living a Fit Urban Life. He can be reached via Instagram, Facebook or email.

Parenting siblings photo by © wavebreak3 / Adobe Stock.

Dorsey, known as “Mike D” by many, has taken a multi-prong approach to redefining and uplifting the image of African American dads. He is an author, business entrepreneur, community organizer, speaker and podcaster. Dorsey discusses his motivation to create a community for active and engaged black fathers and the impact of his work within and outside that community on the latest episode of the Modern Dads Podcast.

Dorsey, a former medical sales professional who has an economic degree from the Georgia Institute of Technology, has written two books, his latest being Dynamic Black Fatherhood Manifesto. The book calls for 10 key commitments to excellence from black men in order to created a more successful in the black community. He also written the self-help book ABE: Always Be Engaged — The 7 Keys to Living a Fit Urban Life.

The Augusta, Ga., native also founded the apparel company Black Family Apparel, which celebrates positive imagery of the black family through messaged clothing. He also created and hosts the Black Fathers Now podcast which interviews African American dads from various walks of life.