Concerned that your children aren’t reading enough or that they are not as aware of current events as they should be?

Then buy them an old-school copy of the Jan. 28 New York Times.

That Sunday’s print edition will include the debut of a new monthly “Kids” section. The special section will cover the usual gamut of news, sports, science, food, arts and opinion but with writing, illustrations, photography and even how-to’s all geared toward younger readers.

The Times initially printed a similar kid-friendly special section covering real-world news in May 2017. It received rave reviews, and second edition followed in November, along with an announcement that it would become a monthly feature in 2018.

“Who says children don’t need news that’s made just for them?” Jake Silverstein, editor in chief of The New York Times Magazine, stated in the press release. “Our goal here is not only to help kids learn about the complex world they live in, but also to give them a taste, through a section designed just for them, of the pleasures of print media. We’ll treat the readers of this section the same way we treat all our readers: with respect.”

It’s another small victory for parent-kind.

The New York Times‘ parenting site has changed names from “Motherlode” to “Well Family,” in part to recognize fathers and all family members who participate in the raising of child, according to the site’s manager and lead columnist KJ Dell’Antonia. She made the announcement in a March 3 article on the Times’ website.

“When The New York Times started Motherlode in 2008, the name was a play on words that marked our entry into the world of parenting blogs. But like many readers, I questioned the name of a parenting report that, by definition, seemed to exclude half of all parents,” she wrote.

“Over the past few years, our vision of what it means to be a family has changed, and it has also become clear that the name Motherlode is more than a little at odds with the larger conversation, which includes mothers, fathers, step parents, grandparents, children, siblings, friends, pets and every possible variation on family,” Dell’Antonia wrote, also adding that the site had long “challenged the notion that parenting is a women’s issue.”

We couldn’t agree more.

This is the second major name change in recent months that reflects the evolving mainstream perception of a father’s role in parenting. In December, online retailer Amazon’s discount U.S. child-care discount program from “Amazon Mom” to “Amazon Family”.

In recent years, the media and entertainment worlds have playing catch with the real world when it comes to fathers being active participants in their children’s lives. Dads are no longer routinely portrayed in advertising, movies or TV as clueless as to how to care for a child. Instead, men are regularly shown as hands-on participants in the day-to-day upbringing their kids.

The recent New York Times article “Wall Street Mothers, Stay-Home Fathers” focused on the shift in traditional parenting roles, highlighting all the chores stay-at-home dads take on along with child care to allow their spouses to focus on their careers.

However, the article lacked perspective on what I see as a significant benefit to being a stay-at-home dad or mom – the ability to be more available to and supportive of one’s spouse and his or her career.

For example, normally I wouldn’t consider my freedom to join my wife on one of her frequent business trips as a benefit of my at-home status. However, my wife is starting her fifth month of what has been a difficult pregnancy thus far. While the physical demands of her business travel aren’t normally challenging, the grind of her job — including hours of meetings, memo revisions, and office politics — takes its toll.

Throw into the mix her having a persistent cough and an inability to take medication to deal with the discomfort, along with the idea of having to fly and spend the night alone, and you can understand why I recently volunteered to travel with my wife. Throughout the trip, my wife thanked me several times for accompanying her, telling me how comforting it was to have me with her on the trip and how much harder it would have been without me there.

The New York Times article also fails to mention the peace of mind a working parent receives knowing that the primary care given to his or her children comes from a parent, not a day-care worker, nanny, or other strangers (for lack of a better word).

One thing that has made, and continues to make, my role as stay-at-home dad easier is the considerable endorsement and support I get from my wife, and the relief and comfort she gets knowing that at least one of us gets to watch our son grow and develop at this very early age. It also helps to hear how my efforts at home are transferring to benefits for my wife in the workplace.

About the author

Edward J. Remache is a writer, researcher and, most recently, a stay-at-home dad. He was born and raised in NYC and now resides in the West Village.

Editor’s Note: The New York Times ran a front-page article Sunday by reporters Jodi Kantor and Jessica Silver-Greenberg called “Wall Street Mothers, Stay-Home Fathers” looking at this growing, non-traditional family arrangement. Our Jason Greene, an at-home dad of three children, offers his perspective in response to the piece.

Before my wife and I were married, we dreamed about what our future would look like. In this dreamland of ours, my wife would be an attorney and I would be a star on Broadway’s stage. So, without knowing anyone in New York City but with plenty of confidence in ourselves, we packed a U-Haul with all our belongings and headed from Columbus, Ohio, to The Big Apple.

Then, during the summer between my wife’s second and third year of law school, our first son was born. For the next couple of years, we would hand him off to one another on the subway as she came home from classes or work and I would go to auditions or some job that I hated. When she graduated and began working as an attorney, we were finally in a financial position where I could focus on acting full-time.

A year later, our daughter was born.

We could have continued our old lifestyle stressfully carting our children around on the subway and handing them off to one another with barely enough time to give a hello/goodbye kiss to one another. If we had chosen this route, then not only would our children not have had a lot of time with both their parents, but my wife and I would not have seen each other that much either.

The choice was pretty clear for us. If we were going to have the ideal family life, then one of us would have to stay home. Since my wife was the one with the established career, the lot fell to me.

Needless to say, the front page New York Times article on working mothers and stay-at-home fathers was met with great acceptance in our home. Similar to the working mothers in the story, my wife has been able to prosper in her job in part because she is able to kiss our children goodbye in the morning and not have to worry about how they will be cared for throughout the day. She can rest easy behind her desk at work knowing that if she does need to work late, her kids will be well taken care of. If she has to suddenly fly somewhere the next day, we do not need to try to juggle a million things to make it work. Giving my wife that freedom helps take away stress and helps her to focus on her job. And also, like a lot of people who have a spouse that stays home with the kids, her employer does not need to worry that she will miss a lot of work to deal with sick kids or household emergencies.

We tossed out social norms a long time ago. You’re not going to find me acting like Ward Cleaver, looking over a paper waiting for the opportunity to throw out some fatherly advice. I’m both Ward and June rolled up in one. I’ll cook and clean up the house, help with homework, run the kids around, and teach them how to throw a football – and when they act up, I’m an active participant in handling discipline.

Sometimes our arrangement seems odd to people, but we really don’t care much about what other people think. Although we don’t care about how we are viewed, the conversations at parties or events can be a little uncomfortable. Often times, shortly after being introduced at a function, I’ll get the question, “What do you do?” After telling them I am a stay-at-home dad, there’s usually a pause. Depending on the mood that I’m in, I’ll milk the uncomfortable pause as long as I can.

Staying home has also allowed me to dive into community projects. Since I do not have a typical job, I have the freedom to be the PTA President at my kids’ school and take on additional duties within my church (I’m an elder and active in the youth group). The choice to stay home was a difficult one, but one that has allowed me to focus on my children, support my wife’s career, and take on a community role.

On occasion I can’t help but wonder, “what if?” But shortly after wondering, I get wrapped up in my three children’s lives and remember that there is no place I’d rather be.

Open up your Sunday edition of The New York Times Business section and you might be surprised to find the feature story is about the recent Dad 2.0 Summit that we attended in Houston a few weeks ago.  The event billed as “an open conversation about the commercial power of dads online, as well as the opportunity to learn the tools and tactics used by influential bloggers to create high-quality content, build personal brands, and develop business ideas.” 

We are thrilled to be part of a time when there is a changing perception of the face on fatherhood to a more nurturing, confident, hands-on dad who does grocery shopping, laundry, shuttles the children to school and extracurricular activities, and is not afraid to be on the floor engaging with their children.  We are proud to be a voice for parents as we redefine what it means to be a “good dad” in the 21st century.  And, we are excited to be in the mix during a time when brands see a ripe opportunity to market to our demographic.  We love the title of Hannah Seligson’s piece, Neither Moms, Nor Imbeciles, and believe it’s a must read for people that consider themselves a parent blogger, a dad-influencer, and especially brands that are seeking the opportunity to embrace and engage in the dad space.

The piece provides some insight from some of the loudest and most influential dads we know as well as some of these dads who have strategic positions with some of the larger marketing/public relations companies:

An example of the current state of affairs on marketing to fathers:

The piece continues with some tangible examples of the direction we are headed from the title sponsorship of an amazing brand like Dove Men+Care that are already capitalizing on a tremendous opportunity (since 2010, it’s a $100 million dollar brand where 75% of their customers are fathers)…to some of the projects that Charlie Capen, How To Be A Dad, has participated in using sponsored content with Honda, Clorox, and Kia.

For the past year, we have participated in several sponsored opportunities (ie this with Britax or this with Time To Play) with brand-integration projects and have found it to be a positive experience.  We realize that stories like the one in the NY Times today, the increasing frequency from mainstream media focusing their lens on fatherhood beyond Father’s Day, and annual networking experiences like the Dad 2.0 Summit will continue to open doors for dads and brands to work together on a more permanent basis….and that is something we are jazzed about!

Pick up a copy of today’s Wall Street Journal and you might glimpse a headline on the front-cover: “Domestic Dads Do it Their Way.”  Dig a little deeper to the front page of the Personal Journal section and see: “At-Home Dads Make Parenting More of a ‘GUY’ Thing” by Sue Shellenbarger.

First Sentence: “MR. MOM is DEAD.”

Well, why we don’t quite think we’ve arrived at the point where the media will stop using the synonym Mr. Mom for stay-at-home fathers or acronym SAHD for stay at home dad … we do think that the journalists who “get it” (reads Sue Shellenbarger of WSJ, Alex Williams of NYT, Lisa Belkin of HuffPost, & others) are moving BEYOND Mr. Mom and digging deeper into real issues and angles through the fatherhood lens.

This article had depth. Shellenbarger did her homework – she spoke with at least fifteen dads in our NYC Dads Group community including several of their wives to uncover some consistent themes.  She moved outside of the urban jungle and interviewed several members of the Triangle Dads Group in North Carolina as well.  Some topics discussed were that some at-home dads may plunge into DIY tech or construction projects, take the kids on walking tours of Home Depot or on adventurous excursions, or overhaul the household budget. With their children, do at-home dads roughhouse at the park or gym, flex the daytime schedule rather than sticking to routines, or encourage kids to take more risks?These were just a few of the areas explored with interviewees.

Let’s dissect today’s fantastic piece by Shellenbarger, the Work & Family columnist over at the Wall Street Journal whose journalism we’ve admired and respected for quite a while.  She plows into her piece with the angle of how at-home fathers are shaking off old gender-related stigmas and putting a distinctly masculine stamp on the American home life. It navigates way beyond the fluff piece of proud dad changing a diaper and is a complete 180 degree turn from the “bumbling idiots like we are sometimes portrayed.”  The piece by itself seeks to be a voice for parents as we redefine what it means to be a “good dad” in the 21st Century which is right in our sweetspot.

If we want more journalists to truly understand that at-home fathers are shattering stereotypes everyday we need to SHARE articles like these displaying confident, competent, active, and nurturing dads are embracing their roles to be the best dads they can be.  Whether you’re like Bryan Grossbauer, a good friend and active member of our NYC Dads Group, taking both kids on a walk through the woods to dig for worms so they don’t get “cabin fever” or like Niel Vuolo, another active member of our group and contributor to our blog, who involves his children in their Do-It-Yourself home renovation projects, or like Ian Worthington who uses modern technology to keep his parenting life organized  – these men are focusing on their strengths and fitting their children into their lifestyle.

Even though many of the dads in our NYC Dads Group community contributed their time to this article and weren’t mentioned, please know, that your loud and positive voices helped shape this article – thank you!

Excellent article in The New York Times about the changing face of dads, “Dads are Taking Over as Full-Time Parents (Just Wait Until Your Mother Gets Home)” by Alex Williams. The article features many members of the NYC Dads Group as well as some of our favorite fathers around the country, including Mike Adamick in San Francisco and Dave Worford in Colorado. Some of our favorite quotes:

Six years later, he considers himself less a Mr. Mom than a new archetype of the father as provider. “I sort of take things upon myself,” said Mr. Griffioen, whose family has added a son and moved to Detroit. “I don’t go to the store to buy my kids toys. I make them toys. I do woodworking, leatherworking. I learned all sorts of manly skills that I never would have had time to learn if I were sitting in an office 28 stories above San Francisco.”

“Just a few years ago, I was usually the lone dad on the playground during the day,” Lance Somerfeld, 39, said on a recent sunny Wednesday morning, while hanging out with eight other dads at the Heckscher Playground in Central Park. “The moms and nannies gawked at me like I was an exhibit at the zoo. Now, I’m the new normal.”

But Brad Harrington, director of the Boston College Center for Work and Family, who has conducted multiple studies involving fatherhood, said that many men now feel the freedom to choose to be at-home dads for the deeper rewards, even when their jobs are secure. Of those who had made the choice, Professor Harrington said, “many expressed, ‘This may be the most meaningful work I’ll ever do.’ ” 

Last week, he [Brooklyn Dad, Chris Michel]  recalled: “We were walking through the park, and I had a nice alliterative line drop into my head, so I pulled out my phone, opened up the tiny little word editor, trying to frantically type this good line. And of course, as soon as I opened my phone, she wants to show me this bug that she has found.” 

“This ain’t the 20th century,” he added. “There are 300 million people in the U.S., so there are 150 million ways to be a man.”

Definitely worth a read and a big step forward for the media’s representation of stay-at-home dads.

Nearly seven years ago, I started my tenure as an at-home dad. Early on, I felt fairly isolated, but was comforted knowing that I wasn’t alone when I found websites like Jeremy Adam Smith’s Daddy Dialectic, and Brian Reid‘s now defunct Rebeldad. I often sent Brian articles about dads that I found, and more often than not, a few days later he posted his unique take on the dad news of the day.

Lance and I are now very lucky to be in the position of having people send us the news that they are finding about dads, and we’ve never received more e-mails and social media pings than we did for the revelation by Motherlode blogger, KJ Dell’Antonia, that the Federal Census Bureau counts moms as the “designated parent”, and dads as a “child-care arrangement.” 

I was hoping that it was merely an oversite that no one had bothered to change the labels to reflect the fact that families have changed since the 1950s, and recognize that dads are taking an increasingly active parenting role. Unfortunately, the laziness is not limited to a bureaucratic glitch, but rather the antiquated mindset of the bureaucrat in charge of the study. As KJ Dell-Antonia reports:

“Regardless of how much families have changed over the last 50 years women are still primarily responsible for work in the home,” said Lynda Laughlin of the Census Bureau’s Fertility and Family Statistics Branch. “We try to look at child care as more of a form of work support.” A mother, said Ms. Laughlin, is “not only caring for the child only while Dad works. She’s probably caring for the child 24 hours and so Dad is able to go to work regardless.” (emphasis mine)

and goes on to report:

Ms. Laughlin assured me that the Census Bureau is just trying to collect accurate data on how “designated parents” arrange care for their children while they’re at school or at work based on “gender norms. 

As you can imagine, this has raised a few eyebrows from moms and dads that like to think that the parenting responsibility is held by moms AND dads. The good folks at Daddyshome, Inc., a non-profit advocacy group, has come up with a way to encourage the Census Bureau to update their report (and their mindset). As Al Watts, President of Daddyshome, said in an e-mail to dads around the country:

The Board of Daddyshome strongly disagrees with these assumptions and believes it is time for the Census to change them. Culturally, this assumption that dads are a “child care arrangement,” similar to babysitters, does not adequately define the dramatic increase in involved fatherhood in the 21st century. Methodologically, this assumption fails to provide an accurate picture of how families are navigating child care and financial responsibilities. 

They have created an online petition that will be sent to the Census Bureau and Congress that allows moms and dads to voice their encouragement for change. We hope you will consider signing and sharing the petition found here: http://www.change.org/petitions/dads-dont-babysit

The New York Times published an article the other day, The Stolen Stroller: An Urban Bourgeois Problem?, (by Elissa Gootman) that made me half chuckle as well as reflect on the number of times that I left our $800 stroller unattended.  For example, most children’s venues in NYC have little or no space to house strollers.  Consequently, we are forced to park our strollers outside the venue, fend for ourselves, and assume the risk!  It’s funny because I was always concerned about making sure that I took the diaper bag (attached to the stroller) with me that was basically deemed worthless – who wants a diaper bag that smells like spit up, and is filled with diapers, A & D ointment, wipes, and some snack cups?

The past year, I have not been as concerned about our stroller being stolen, as I exchanged our sleek Bugaboo in for the much more practical and affordable Maclaren Triumph umbrella stroller.  This stroller gets beat up as it gets stowed underneath airplanes and schlepped on subways and buses.

Stroller theft is something to think about in New York City.  The parks or playgrounds that we traverse are huge, and we park our strollers on the side, and spend most of the time chasing around our tots – not concerned about whether someone is going to rip off your stroller.  I know a mom who lives on the fourth floor of a walk-up building and rather than carry up their bulky and pricey stroller every day, they leave it unattended on the bottom floor.  Sure enough, one day, it went missing.  The mom had told me that she “felt violated” that someone would take something that belongs to an innocent baby.  She reported the crime to the police – case has never been solved.  While I think that particular case is rare, I still believe that most parents do not spend much time considering the fact that their $500 – $1,000 strollers are real assets…and probably should be locked up like a bicycle or left with a valet like a car!  Your thoughts?  What do parents in the suburbs think about this?