Whenever possible, I try to make any family vacation into a family road trip. Typically, the threshold of cost versus time savings I use usually equates to roughly 12 to 14 hours of driving time. Anything longer than that, I look hard into flying or even taking the train. 

I make some exceptions to that rule. For example, my family will be taking a one-week vacation to Myrtle Beach over the summer. The drive itself will be close to 20 hours; however, the cost savings of renting a car and driving from Kansas City rather than flying made me look hard at the possibility of driving. 

We have prepared ourselves for a road trip of this length. We have traveled from Kansas City to Denver which is nine hours and “survived.” Not that having kids in tow didn’t make it difficult at times. Children have unexpected bathroom needs. They get bored looking out the window. They don’t like your choice in music. And they constantly ask, “Are we there yet?”

Whether it’s been one hour or nine, here are some tips that have helped us get by and make the most of the time on the road together. 

Plan your breaks for your family road trip

The first two tips for surviving your family road trip go hand in hand. Before heading out the door, have an idea of where you will be stopping along the way. Plan your big breaks, such as lunch and dinner, along with some of the sites that you want to see before reaching your ultimate destination. This allows you to be able to tell your family how far from a specific stop you are. It can also help avoid many of the small bathroom breaks when you can tell your kids that you will be stopping in 15 or 30 minutes. 

Expect to stop more often than planned

Going into a family road trip with a plan of where to stop is always ideal. However, understand there likely will be unplanned, and often necessary, breaks. Acknowledging this will ease your stress level when it happens. It will also make it easier to accept you won’t beat the original ETA your GPS gave you when you left the house. 

Bring many snacks, drinks

Bringing a cooler of favorite snacks will help your kids survive the family road trip. Make sure to pack some healthy items so they aren’t eating junk food the entire time. Bring your own water bottles and fill them up whenever you do stop to save on the cost of drinks.

As the main driver for many of our trips, I like to sneak a few of my favorites under my seat. Whether it is Australian licorice, a bag of beef jerky or some cracked pepper sunflower seeds, I’m ready when hunger hits.

Forget screen time limits

The family road trip is one time when screen time becomes almost unlimited. It may appear that the motive behind this is only so we aren’t being constantly bothered by a bored child. Yes, it helps the time pass for them but it also helps us as a family stay on the road longer and get to our destination sooner with minimal breaks. 

There is a caveat though. We do make them take breaks every couple of hours from the screens. There is nothing worse than a kid getting car sick from playing video games the entire time on the road. I speak from experience. 

Make a game out of your family road trip

When the kids are not on their screens, play some old-school games on your family road trip. Try “I spy,” which can always be interesting when you are playing with younger kids. Make bingo cards ahead of time with various states so you can play the license plate game. Get creative!

Good headphones for the passengers

When we leave on any family road trip, the one thing we will turn around for is headphones. There is nothing more distracting than hearing one of your kids playing on their Nintendo Switch in the back seat while you are listening to a baseball game or a podcast on the radio. Their electronic devices are a way to keep them occupied but, as the driver, the only thing keeping you entertained is the car radio. Make sure that you can hear it and listen to what you want.

A version of this previous appeared on The Rookie Dad. Photo: ©Yakobchuk Olena / Adobe Stock.

I’ve tried not to let the death of my father to COVID-19 a year ago change my life too much. I still have to be a husband, a dad, a colleague and a friend but the weight of what happened makes my shoulders stiff and sore. These past few months have been especially difficult. My motivation has been pretty much nowhere to be seen. My patience has been almost nothing. 

In a way, I haven’t completely processed everything that happened during those two weeks in December 2020. As a nation and world, we were fighting through a pandemic that was — and still is — killing so many people. The virus doesn’t care whether you are healthy or not let alone the demographics that we identify with. We’ve continued to fight it since the passing of my father, and I take every day to try and make people aware of the gravity that is COVID. 

In the weeks and months leading up to the month of my father’s passing, I am on the record for saying, “I wear a mask because I don’t want to be the reason I pass this onto your family members, who then pass it to someone who loses a loved one because of it.” I don’t hold any ill feelings toward whomever it was who passed COVID on to my dad. I’m frustrated that there are those who made a choice to not listen to my concerns or those of the people who are studying the virus and how it affects people.

I thought parenting when I had depression was difficult, but it had nothing on trying to be a dad while grieving the death of my own father. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and my eyes get a little watery. Each day I step foot into our garage I’m reminded of him. We bought his brand new 2020 Toyota Highlander from his estate. He was so proud of that car and he had some big plans to travel in it and see the world. It’s one of the things that we plan to do to honor him.  

It hasn’t been easy handling my father’s estate either. There are days it’s a full-time job fielding phone calls and signing paperwork. And then there is all of his … stuff. He was the type of person who never would let a piece of paper go. He had checks and bank records dating all the way back to the early 1970s.

My son, Joseph, has asked me several times as we go through my father’s things, “Dad, what are you doing?” Many times, when I explain that I’m going through grandpa’s belongings his response is, “Oh … grandpa died.” It tends to make things worse for me internally. Not only is going through box after box a reminder enough of what happened, but then my youngest reminds me on almost a daily basis.

The where, the how, the crazy that happened during his two-week struggle with COVID-19 no longer matter at this point. What matters to me is I am here for my family. Where I am now, is that I want to show my boys how great their grandfather was. I want them to know how lucky they were to have him. I want them to know that it’s OK to miss him and we need to continue to live out his legacy. 

Parenting through all of this has not been the easiest. I admit my temper spikes at times … and does so rather quickly. I am having a harder time leaving work at the office because it serves as a distraction. When I have a bad day at work, my family can typically tell as I’m more prone to yelling and being generally grumpy with them about some of the littlest things. This happens mostly on the days I’m having a hard time internally working through the death of my father. There are periods of time when I zone out and think about the memories I shared with my dad. And then there are times that I break down in tears for no reason at all. Then there are all the nightmares one has living through the moments that lead up to and after a traumatic event in their life. 

It’s hard for us as men to admit that we are going through a rough time. But when it comes to parenting through the loss of a loved one, it is important to let your kids see you grieve. They need to be able to see that it is OK to be sad and upset. It is just as important for them to see you push through and celebrate the person.

I’m not guaranteeing that it will be any easier moving forward but when I look back at the man that my father was, I strive to be half the man he was. That’s what I want my kids to see. 

A version of this first appeared on The Rookie Dad. Grieving death of father photo: © Rawpixel.com / Adobe Stock.

EDITOR’S NOTE: City Dads Group is working with longtime partner Dove Men+Care to create “how to” videos for the grooming products company’s “Dads Care” campaign. We will be featuring the videos and scripts our members appear in. This one features Brandon Billinger and his son, William, discussing what to do when a parent is unemployed.

I have been laid-off twice, and it was a blow to my self-esteem. I felt like a failure to me, to my wife, and to my kids. It was one of the low points of my life. 

I knew that for my kids it would be difficult to understand the gravity of what just happened. Being unemployed would be a drastic change to their lifestyle as well as mine. Here are some tips to help make this conversation easier for you and to help your kids understand the changes in your family’s life. 

Kids like to talk. They will tell their friends and other that you lost your job. The key here is to wait before you have this conversation with your kids. Be sure to tell your inner circle so they are not blindsided by a comment your kid makes while playing with friends. This means it could be a couple of days until you are ready to tell your kids. By waiting to have the conversation, it will help you get your ducks in a row like filing for unemployment, starting a job search, and internal processing of what has happened to you.

When you do talk to your kids, the most difficult thing will be helping them understand how this change is going to affect them. For most kids, your job was just something you went to on a daily basis and they heard you talk about at the dinner table. For most, it isn’t something tangible. 

The biggest change for them will be in lifestyle. This could mean they stay home with you rather than go to daycare. The next thing to tell your kids, and quite possibly the hardest for them to understand, is that you might not be able to spend as much money as you used to. This may mean that those small purchases of a toy or a piece of candy may not be happening like they used to. 

Another part of the conversation that you will want to have is to let your kids know that you are going to ask more of them during this time. There are going to be times when you need them to be quiet as you take a phone call from a prospective employer. Or there will be an hour or two every day that you spend searching job boards. 

Let your kids know this change is only temporary and you will all come out better in the end because of this. 

The best part of this conversation that I would leave for last is to let your kids know that they will get to spend some more quality time with you. Being unemployed while raising kids might seem like a tall task but it’s a great opportunity for you and the kids to bond in ways that you weren’t able to before. It will also help your overall demeanor to spend that time with them. Get outside, go to a playground, go to a lake and go fishing, explore your city, play some video games with your kids. 

With these simple tips, talking to your kids about being unemployed will be a bit easier, more relatable for them, and leave you and your kids hopeful and more optimistic about the future. 

Photo: © alotofpeople / Adobe Stock.

The racial divide in the small western Kansas town I grew up in was very evident. Our community was practically 50% Hispanic and 50% white. When many whites would reference the Hispanic community and their culture, it was never Hispanics, it was almost always the pronouns “they” or “their.” It was almost as if by not acknowledging the race, it didn’t exist beyond the many Mexican restaurants sprinkled along the main street in our small town.

I knew this racial divide existed, but internally this divide was never there. My best friend growing up was Hispanic. I spent many afternoons with him and his family. I never saw him as a different race. To me, he was just a person who I really enjoyed hanging out with.

When I look back on how race played a role in our schools and within our community while growing up, I regret that I didn’t take a stand then. I stood idly by watching this happen and wonder why. Any time the reference of “they” came up, and knowing who was being referenced, I didn’t say anything.

Why can’t people be treated like the people they are?

As I watch my oldest grow up, I see a bit of myself in him. His best friend is black in a largely white Kansas suburb. He has spent many afternoons over at his friend’s house playing, laughing, and enjoying being in his presence.

I vividly remember when I was my son’s age, sitting in front of my third-grade class during our school geography bee. I couldn’t tell you the question our group was asked but it was about current events. Each participant down the line did not know the answer until it got to me.

“The Million Man March,” I answered.

I was right.

It shocked many in the class, including my parents, that I knew this answer. It is one of the first news stories I remember as a kid. I remember watching the black community march on the National Mall to make a difference.

Recently, I was scrolling through YouTube and a thumbnail caught the attention of my 9-year-old. It was of one of the recent Black Lives Matter protests and showed man holding a sign.

“Dad, what does, ‘I can’t breath’ mean?”

It was at that moment I realized how much we have shielded him from the current events of our day. At his age I knew what the Million Man March was and stood for. Yet, he had to ask me what that sign meant.

At that point in time, I was still processing what I was witnessing on TV. I knew what was happening with the Black Lives Matter movement was exactly what needed to happen. Their voices needed and still, need to be heard. But inside part of me was wondering what I could do as a 30-something white guy who has what many call “privilege.”

I explained the death of George Floyd the best I could to my son. I explained that the black community, while free in the United States, is still fighting to have their voices heard and to feel as accepted in our nation as the rest of us.

I told him that one of the things that makes me proud to call him my son is that his best friend is black. That he doesn’t look at the color of one’s skin as something that makes them different than him or anyone else.

Without skipping a beat, I told him to do exactly what I wish I had done when I was his age: stand up if he sees someone being treated differently because of their race, sexuality, religious beliefs or for any reason. I told him that we will be seeing people standing on the corner in coming days, holding signs and protesting the injustices against race. We will honk and we will stand beside them to show our support for those people still fighting to be treated equally today.

“I know, Dad.”

That was all that I needed to hear. I just needed to that reassurance. That simple, “I know, Dad,” gave me hope that maybe there will be a day when all of this racial injustice will only be a part of the history taught in schools — a history that will make kids ask themselves much like I am today: Why?

Racial divide photo: © Natalia / Adobe Stock.

“PLEASE GET YOUR SHOES ON! I’ve asked you five times, and if you don’t get them on RIGHT NOW, I’m leaving you home alone by yourself!”

It seems those words come out of my mouth once, maybe twice a week while we go through the morning routine. Throw in a “damn” here and there, and it might be more accurate. At some point in one’s parenting career, we all experience these feelings.

Before you start to call the authorities, no — I would never leave my son home alone. It’s one of those empty promises we offer our children so that they do what we are asking of them. If you don’t do this too, please tell me how you prevent the situations like above from happening.

It doesn’t stop at shoes either. It can be either listening to what I’m asking my son to do, or not do. At times, I wonder if we need to have my oldest son’s hearing checked but then I remember that he is the child who can hear a bag of chips being opened from down the block when he is playing with his friends.

As quickly as the frustration inside of me comes, it leaves. Then, a feeling of sorrow inside of me hits.

I start to wonder how I could yell at my son in the way that I did. Did he understand why? Does he know that if he had just done things right the first time, he wouldn’t have to be doing it again? Does he understand how much it pains me to sound like my parents?

I ask myself those questions because, more often than not, I am the one having difficulty remembering he is only 7 years old. He is just a kid. It is up to me to teach him that getting angry and yelling does not get you anywhere in life.

Like the time I was cleaning out our new car and I came across blue slime stuck to the floorboard. It had somehow escaped the plastic bag someone had brought it home in. Someone had stepped on the bag … and out it came. It would have been easy to be frustrated with my son even though it might not be his fault. Not completely. He had stepped on the bag, causing the contents to ooze out, but it was an accident. I had left the bag sitting there for a while and should have been the one to take it out of the car.

There was no reason for me to be upset with him. The slime, despite being stuck to the floorboard, wasn’t hurting anyone and eventually could be cleaned up. But I blew up any way.

It took a few minutes, but I gathered myself, sat down next to him and said, “William, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I know it wasn’t your fault and I was just frustrated that we just bought this car and now there is this blue slime on the floor. I’m sorry.”

Even though he told me that it was OK, I knew that I hurt him. But I also knew my ability to say “I’m sorry” was just what he needed to hear so that he pushes past everything. Part of it is my conscience. I know that I was in the wrong, even though it took me a bit to realize it.

I come by saying I am not a perfect parent honestly. Being able to say I’m sorry to my family for the numerous times I’ve screwed up is the one area of my life that I feel like I am getting right. When I tell William I am sorry for getting frustrated with him, he starts to understand that not only do I feel bad about what I have done or said but that even though I am not going to get it right every time, I am going to try to better. And, until I can make no mistakes, I am going to be sure to always say I’m sorry to my son.

A version of this first appeared on The Rookie Dad. Photo: © Tatyana Gladskih / Adobe Stock.

These last few months have been quite possibly the most difficult that I have had to endure. I came home the day after being laid off wondering what the next chapter in my life would be. I wondered exactly how long would this latest stint as a laid-off father be?

My family and I have been through my unemployment twice before. We knew exactly what we had to do as a result. We knew for the next few weeks, months, possibly years, I’d first and foremost be a stay-at-home-dad.

Being unemployed wasn’t easy either time before. There I was laid off, treating my employment search as a 40-hour-a-week job. Spending most of my day huddled over a computer searching job boards. Refreshing every five minutes thinking that this time “the” job would appear. Scheduling phone interviews for the kids’ nap time so there wouldn’t be a screaming toddler in the background turning off a recruiter. Hoping someone would take a chance on me.

There were many days I would sit on the couch almost unwilling to engage with my 1-year-old because I was almost certain I would be getting the phone call that would change everything. I would break down in tears in the shower. I started to feel like a failure.

Avoid unemployment blues, stay positive

“Stay positive. It’s the one thing that will get you through this.”

That’s the comment my mother-in-law made to me the weekend after I first became a laid-off father. For some reason, it really hit home.

Eventually, something will come my way whether it was going to be weeks, months or years. That was easy for me to say, but another thing for me to really believe. I attempted to take anything as a potential sign of hope.

My advice: Wake up, take a shower, shave and get dressed as if you are going to work. Be as productive as you can be, looking for a job or tending to the home front. You may be sitting there waiting for the call that will change your career, but don’t treat every day like your future employer is going to ring your phone. Treat the day like you are going to do everything you possibly can do to receive that call, some day. All it takes is one interview for someone to recognize your potential.

But some days you are going to feel like a failure. There will be days you are going to get rejection after rejection. It’s going to feel worse than getting rejected from your junior high crush.

Family is Job One

My wife and I took the mindset that whatever will happen, will happen. There might be jobs out there that you feel like should have been yours, but maybe they didn’t happen for a reason. Maybe it wasn’t going to be as family-friendly as you would have hoped or the hours weren’t going to be as flexible as you thought or maybe the benefits weren’t quite what you would have hoped they would be.

On those days you get discouraged, remember there are people who do count on you. Every morning, every afternoon and every evening your family counts on you to provide for them and those things aren’t necessarily what can be bought with your take-home pay. You are at home either taking care of the kids or providing for their needs in other ways. So when you look at it, your paycheck just might look different than other people’s. Your paycheck is being able to be there for your family, at the drop of a hat if necessary, when something happens.

Finding work gets worse before get better

One thing I took away from the two times I was laid off before is that going to get worse before it gets better. You’ll wonder if you are going to be able to make it through the day without punching the wall. You are going to want to scream into the pillow, and there will be times you want to hide your tears from your family.

However, both times I was laid off before when things were looking their bleakest, I got the phone call saying I was hired. I was fighting with my wife. I started getting depressed. I felt like things were never going to get better. It felt like no one wanted me, and I was applying for jobs I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied with but would at least allow us to pay some bills. Then out of nowhere, my phone rings and I was offered the job.

So remember: If you are laid off, keep your head up. You aren’t in your job hunt alone. There are many of us who are or have have been in the same boat as you. You are going to turn it around. And who knows, you might even find out you like being that stay-at-home-dad and, if not now, then some day you’ll make it work with you staying at home.

A version of this first appeared on The Rookie Dad. Photo: © Paolese / Adobe Stock.

My father coached me from T-ball up through high school, except for one year. It caused much frustration for him because, like most kids, I wouldn’t listen to him because he was my “dad.” I couldn’t look at him as a coach because … he was my dad.

But it was also one of my greatest joys being able to give him a high five on first base when I had my first hit in high school.

I never knew at the time all that he put into coaching my teams throughout the years. I just took it for granted that every summer he’d coach my team. Win or lose he would be standing there at the end of the game giving encouragement and advice on what we could do better the next time.

It seemed natural that I would coach my own children in baseball as they grew up. As the head of my son’s coach-pitch team, I learned quickly that it wasn’t for me — at least the head coaching part of it. I never thought back to look at everything that my dad had to do leading those many teams.

So before you sign up for coaching your own child in any sport, consider these things:

Coaching your child, others: serious time commitment

Being a coach involves many aspects of making sure that your team is ready for the season. You’ll have to work with your local parks and rec department or league to make sure that you have a place to practice. You are responsible for making sure you have the gear that your team needs and keeping it in working order.

Organizing practices are as important as game planning. Luckily, internet videos and books are easy to find to teach you drills and how to set up practice plans.

Forming a lineup is hard when you must make sure everyone gets a chance to play, sometimes in every position. I recommend taking an hour or two every week to figure out lineups and positions, and how to rotate your players. One of the things that I did with my coach pitch team had the kids bat in order of their jersey number and then rotate them all through the positions throughout the game.

Managing player dynamics

Every player is different. Every player can play at a different level than the other. Some will require more coaching than others. However, you’ll also have ones you can count on to know what to do in given situations without constantly reminding them throughout the game. There are going to be players who want to play certain positions, and that is all they want to play. And then it will feel like the entire team wants to know the score and where they bat in the lineup.

It will become quickly apparent what every kid’s dynamic will be throughout the season. Find out what motivates each player. Some will want to know where they bat in the order every time they come in from playing in the field. Some aren’t going to say much and are going to know exactly what their job is for that given day.

Parental involvement

Managing parents tends to be even harder than coaching their kids.

You’ll most likely have some parents who step up and help you coach the team. If you are lucky, you’ll also have parents who are encouraging throughout the season. These are the ones who aren’t ultra-competitive or complaining about their kids’ playing time. Embrace these parents who want to become involved.

Have a parent meeting either before or at the first practice and set the expectations early for them. Let them know that you want them to be involved and encouraging. You want them to not be demeaning and rude to other parents, coaches, players, and the umpires.

Remember, coach: Your kid is still a player

As a head coach, this is something that I quickly forgot. I was harder on my son than any other player on the team. This is natural when it comes to coaching your own child. Why? I had higher expectations for him than I did for other players. But, I also forgot during that season that he was still only 6 years old. He was going to play in the dirt and not listen to what me, as a coach, had to say.

As an assistant coach, I still catch myself being this way. Our children respond best to coaching and instructions when they come from a parent other than me. One of the best ways to get the point across to your child? Have one of the other coaches be the one who talks to and instructs your child.

These are just a few tips that I have learned throughout my time coaching my own child throughout his baseball career. The thing to remember throughout the season though is, in the end, you want your kid to have fun.

Because if they have fun, you have fun.

A version of Coaching Your Own Child first appeared on The Rookie Dad. Photo: © soupstock/ Adobe Stock.

I love both of my children equally but I have become a better parent after realizing I have a favorite child.

I sat in the hospital room holding our newborn son, Joseph. Just minutes before, the doctor had to tell me to stop talking throughout the delivery because, as my son was being born, he was turning his head to see me, making things difficult.

I looked down at his eyes drawn closed in sleep after the arduous journey he had just taken. Something felt different at that moment than it did after William, our first son, was born. When I held William that first time, I had a sense of pride and pure joy at becoming a father. Holding Joseph, though, I felt an immediate connection — like I was a completely different father at that moment. Right then I vowed to be a better dad to my two boys.

I became the dad who would hop up in the middle of the night to take care of his newborn son. It was the opposite when William was a baby. I would sigh every time he disturbed my sleep.

I became the dad who loved feeding his child and making him smile and laugh. To those on the outside looking in, it was easy to see the bond Joseph and I shared. It would be easy to see Joseph was my favorite child.

I stayed patient, calm and cool in the most trying moments of taking care of Joseph. It wasn’t that case with William. Back then I was winging it. My confidence wasn’t there. I was a first-time dad without an understanding of what it meant to be a father. The mere thought I would be unable to hear the commentary of the game on TV because someone needed to take a nap drove me mad, for example. I thought being a dad just meant being the fun parent who talked about farts, burps, and sports at the dinner table.

Being present makes the difference

With Joseph, I feel like I have been given a second chance at being a better dad. I now could be in the moment instead of missing so many of them like I did with William because my head was down looking into my phone, more concerned about posting a set of his firsts to the social media world.

I’ll never get back those moments with my firstborn. I’ll forever be that dad who told his son to wait before taking his first steps so he could pull out the video camera. I’ll have those haunting memories of William wailing from his crib after he woke up from nap time, crying for me as I finished up one last blog or social media update.

Things seem different now. Whatever I am doing, be it cooking dinner, cleaning up milk on the floor, or out mowing the lawn, I always seem to stop and make time for Joseph.

To the outside world, he is my favorite child

What people don’t see, or maybe they do, if they have seen me change as a father over these past eight years is that Joseph has made me a better parent to his older brother. The lessons of patience, encouragement and being in the moment are now front and center for me in both of my kids’ life.

Sure, I’ve matured in the decade since I married to my wife. But there is also a confidence I didn’t have when William was Joseph’s age. I now have a deeper understanding of what it means to be a father.

The more that I think about, Joseph isn’t my favorite child — he is my second chance. My second chance to be the father I wasn’t for his brother. A second chance to be the dad who would get down on a knee  to his level, and explains to him that I understand his math homework is hard, but it is giving him a foundation to fully understand the concepts he is going to learn in the upper-grade levels. It’s a chance to pick him up when he has fallen, and not worry about sharing that moment with the world.

This is my moment

I look at the years ahead, and I see that this is my moment. This is my time to teach my boys what it means to be a dad, to be a husband, and a human being. It is my moment to show William what it means to be a big brother. This is my moment to teach both children the meaning of loving a partner unconditionally.

That is the lesson William has taught me. Even though I might not have been the best dad when he was Joseph’s age, he still loved me unconditionally. I can still be the dad I have always wanted to be because he still gives me the chance.

I say Joseph is my favorite child if only because he taught me he and his brother are really my favorites. Now I must prove it.

A version of this first appeared on The Rookie Dad. Favorite child photo by Isaac Del Toro on Unsplash

There is this ball that I have sitting in my office. To many, it looks like just any other baseball. On most days it just sits there, without someone even looking at it. There is no signature on it, and I have yet to fill out the placard on the baseball stand. But I treasure that ball. I wouldn’t say it’s Babe Ruth-esque special, but I’d still be upset if William took the ball to the sandlot one day.

The story behind that ball dates back to 1996. A good year for me as a young boy. My local high school baseball team won the state baseball championship, and it seems that anytime something good is brought up from the past, 1996 is the year. It was June 30, and we were on our way to Coors Field in Denver. I remember telling my parents, that I was going to catch a foul ball this game. I also mentioned that it was good that the promotion that day was a free hat since I had left my glove back in the hotel room because we weren’t actually sitting in foul ball territory.

I don’t remember the exact inning, but Ellis Burks came to bat. At one point during his at bat, he fouls one off down the third base line. I hear my dad say, “BRANDON, LOOK UP!” because more than likely I munching on a hot dog. Without thinking, I hold out my hat. My dad was standing next to me thinking that he had the ball when suddenly, it lands directly into the hat, pulling it from my hands into the empty seat in front of me.

While my dad was looking around for the ball, I look down to grab my hat because, at the time, I’m more concerned about a free hat than a foul ball I probably didn’t or won’t get. But when I lift the hat up, the ball hit off of Ellis Burks’ bat is sitting inside. I hold the ball up like any fan who catches a foul ball does and remember the fans from our section cheer loudly. This was the moment that I imagined all of the local TV cameras were on me and that I would make it on Sportscenter’s Top 10 plays. I don’t remember if all of that happened, but I remember catching that ball like it was yesterday.

Turn the calendar forward 11 years. My son and I are at a Kansas City T-Bones game (an independent professional baseball team in Kansas City), walking around and taking in the sights and sounds of the game in the 3rd inning when a man walks up to my son and hands him a ball that just landed foul in our area. You could see the excitement in my boy’s eyes as he held that ball. He might not have caught it but it you could see that the ball was going to be just as special to him as my foul ball was to me.

As the game ended, we walked toward to the grass berm to watch the post-game fireworks. The players make their way to the locker room, walking up that same berm, when suddenly former Kansas City Royals (and member of the 1985 World Series team) Frank White walks by us after coaching first base for the T-Bones. After shaking the hands of fans, he stops and starts signing autographs for the kids. Our son was holding his ball in his hand, and I asked if he would like to have his ball signed. He might not know the how important the guy was who was signing autographs, but he walked into the crowd of kids and came walking back out with “Frank White” written on the ball.

Much like my dad did, I made sure that his foul ball was kept securely. His sits next to mine on the shelf in my office, sharing childhood memories of two boys who have a love for baseball. And hoping that someday they don’t fall victim to the sandlot like that Babe Ruth ball.

A version of this first appeared on The Rookie Dad. Photos: Brandon Billinger

You have chosen a daycare for your child. Now the time has come for your child to start daycare! From experience, the transition isn’t easy — for you or your little one.

I’ve made the transition to daycare with two kids now. Many emotions run through you as you leave your child with people you barely know. For the most part, nerves take over.

You wonder how your child will react to when you leave him to start daycare with this strange person for an entire day. Will he cry all day? You wonder if your boss is going to think you are an emotional wreck, especially if you are returning to work that day for the first time in weeks, maybe months.

Daycare providers work with new parents all the time to help make it easier, for you and your child. Remember you aren’t the first parent to drop off a child off at daycare. But if you are still uncertain about this new part of your child’s life, here are some things that can help make the transition to easier for you and more comfortable for your child.

Prepare the night before you start daycare

Have all the paperwork completed and ready to turn in if you still have any outstanding. Gather everything your child needs to succeed in their new setting. Your daycare provider should provide a list of what its needs to take care of your child, such as diapers, wipes, extra changes of clothes, a blanket, breast milk or formula, etc. You can always ask if there is something to extra bring that helps ease the first day for the child.

Expect tears — yours and your child’s

Your child’s first day of daycare is a big moment for your child and you. Sometimes the only way a small child can show his emotions, desires and needs is to cry. It might not happen on the first day, but it will happen at some point when dropping your child off.

The best way to handle this might seem the cruelest: you just have to drop the child off and leave. Lingering to help soothe your child is going to make it worse when you do leave. Make sure you let your provider know that you are not trying to be mean but trying to make it easier for him or her.

However — don’t do this on the first day! Instead, let your child know he is going to be OK and give extra hugs and kisses so he knows everything will be fine.

Help your child take ownership

If your child is older, let him know him is going to be starting somewhere new. Build it up and let him know about the great friends he will make and the many thing he will learns. Let him explain his feelings about that first day to help him overcome any fears.

Also, help your child understand that daycare is something he can call her own. Let the child pick what clothes to wear on the first day, what blankets to bring, and what stuffed animals to help at nap time.

Calm your child with familiarity

As you drive or walk to the center to start daycare, point out landmarks and things familiar to your child. We started our oldest at a new daycare at about age 4, and his dropoffs were a lot better when my wife or I pointed out things that he could always recognize.

Remember: Children are resilient

If you are a new parent, you’ll quickly learn your child has an amazing ability to bounce back from whatever comes his way. You” sometimes think your child will never stop crying at drop-off but eventually he will get over it and have fun in his new environment. If drop-off becomes too big an issue for too long, talk to your provider for suggestions. Eventually, it won’t be a big deal and you are going to wonder why you were worried about it all in the first place.

A version of this first appeared on The Rookie Dad. “Start Daycare Right” photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash