Comments on: It’s Not a Dad War, but We Can All Learn Something

By: Chad

Chad — Wed, 16 May 2012 09:51:31 +0000

I ignore most of the interweb everyday.

I think it is safe to say both the way Cody titled and wrote his piece and the way Babble promoted it was for the purpose of not being ignored. Of corse the irony is that if Cody had just written about himself. If he had titled it "10 Things My Wife Does Better Than Me" it likely would have went ignored. I doubt anyone would have attacked his parenting.

Which is where I feel Cody's response is lacking. He seems to simultaneously trying to poke the bees nest and act surprised when the bees sting.

I think there is some middle ground between over the top personal attacks and just ignoring it. Somewhere in the middle is dialogue. And it may sometimes be messy getting there, I hope in the end it is worth it.

By: DadandBuried

DadandBuried — Wed, 16 May 2012 03:14:53 +0000

This is so tiresome. The only wars here are ones we create ourselves with silly sensitivity and pointless judgments. Just because parenting is serious doesn’t mean we all have to take ourselves so seriously. We’re bloggers, and inherent in that is that we are writing from our own experiences, regardless of what we title something or not.l I wish this Cody guy had said “screw all of you, I stand by my post” because WHO CARES either way. We all do things differently, dads are different than dads are different than moms are different than stepdads are different than blah blah blah. Opinions are kind of the point. Unless he was posting pictures of the children he’s torturing, why should the Dad cabal attack him? All he’s doing is what we all do. Agree, disagree, whatever, but let’s not act like A) his post was going to damage dads reputations as parents or B) we should have any authority over any other dads we disagree with. Parenting is a pretty personal thing. There was nothing to take personally in Cody’s post unless you are insecure about your own place. Let it go. All the judgments and attacks and so-called wars are just a waste of everyone’s time. Can’t we all just get along? Or at least ignore each other?

By: BloggerFather

BloggerFather — Wed, 16 May 2012 02:43:19 +0000

A few hours have passed since I wrote my offensive comments on Babble, and of course I wish I didn't go there now. But I did, so all I can do now is move on. I usually try to be positive, but when men tell me how normal men should act, I get the shakes. What can you do...

So now I think we should leave this guy alone. His post had absolutely no merit, but if we are still angry, we should point our anger at Babble.

If Cody is new to blogging, then how does one of the biggest parenting sites let him write there with no proof-reading or editing? When the dust settles, Cody may or may not rise again to write a misguided Dads Are Great post (which I imagine will look a lot like this one), and Babble will continue putting out faux-controversies that aim not to teach, share, or inspire, but to make us click. The damage to the way fatherhood is viewed in society as a result of reinforced stereotypes means nothing to these people. Disney doesn't give them money to change the world, after all, but to make them more money.

It's time to leave the poor guy alone. And let Babble spread its poison. But if you're a token dad writing at their Dadding section, you should consider adding "Writer at Babble" to your resume and start looking for a new gig in a place that respects you enough as a writer to stop you from writing posts that will bring the wrath of the Internet upon your head, and respects you enough as a father to not use gender wars for financial gain.

By: Marty

Marty — Wed, 16 May 2012 01:15:53 +0000

I read through the comments…Here are a couple of lessons I tell my girls, any group I am involved with, and remind myself from time to time…… There is a difference in attacking someone and attacking what they write and say, and when disagreements arise there are no permanent enemies. That may sound Pollyannish but it works for me. However, it is deeply frustrating when these stereotypes continue because guys who stay at home are ostracized by moms and dads who “don’t get it” Dads who stay at home are not incompetent, not lesser men and not moms. They are men who are dads that stay at home.

By: moosh in indy.

moosh in indy. — Wed, 16 May 2012 00:26:39 +0000

As his wife and as a somewhat established blogger, I can't thank the dad bloggers who took the time to pull my husband aside and privately discuss what went awry, how he can improve moving forward and expressed their views with genuine concern and interest.
That being said, I live with the man and know first hand that arguing with him is a giant pain in the ass given his career, especially on certain things.
I of course want to scream and yell that he's a good guy who made a very bad mistake, but it's not my fight. I'm just the poor (expletive) that reproduced with the idiot and should look for a real man to call father to my children (thanks facebook!)
While it pains me to see so many bloggers still calling for his head on a platter, I'm grateful for those who are willing to move forward, learning from the experience and growing together.
(P.S. Y'all should probably hug me anyway, I'm way better at it, Cody said so.)