Dads and their children have a chance to take a little off the top for free this weekend.

Our longtime partner Dove Men+Care is partnering with 22 Bishops Cuts/Color barber shops across the country on Saturday, Dec. 8, to offer complimentary haircuts, washes and styling using Dove Men+Care products to guys and their offspring as part of a promotion. Our City Dads Group members and their children have been asked be special guests at the “Holiday Shear” events being held in 13 cities.

“To help families spend more time together while preparing for the holiday season, Dove Men+Care is giving the gift of free washes and haircuts to men and the children in their lives by spreading #HolidayShear,” the men’s grooming products company wrote in a news release.

City Dads Group chapters have been asked by DM+C to be special guests at these events. Meetups have been arranged by our organizers in the following cities (click the link then check out the group’s scheduled meetups for location and time details):

• Atlanta
• Charlotte
• Chicago
• Cincinnati
• Columbus, Ohio
• Denver
• Houston
• Los Angeles
• Phoenix
• Portland, Ore.
• Sacramento
• San Diego
• San Francisco 

In addition to the free haircuts, Dove Men+Care will have activity cards to encourage some father-child bonding through drawing, playing and conversation. Photo opportunities will also be held so the dads and kids can show off their new holiday haircuts.

Bishops Cuts/Color is a national chain, founded in Portland, Ore, that is predominately minority owned, that offers affordable haircuts and gives back to each of its communities, according to its website.

For a list of all the participating Bishops Cuts/Colors locations, visit bishops.co.

If you’re unable to attend one of these events, you can check out photos on our Twitter and Instagram social media feeds or by searching #HolidayShear.

Over the years, City Dads Group and its many chapters have partnered with Dove Men+Care for many events and promotions such as March Madness parties and tickets.

DISCLOSURE: City Dads Group chapters have been compensated by Dove Men+Care to participate and promote this free event. The event will begin at 9 a.m., local time, for City Dads Group members and run until 9 p.m., or until Dove Men+Care supplies are depleted, whichever occurs first.  Gratuities are not included, and any other services obtained that day will be charged at regular prices.  No substitutions allowed, and walk-ins (no appointments) only.  You must be present to reserve a spot in line.  No rain checks for any services unable to be completed by the end of the event.

Photo: Andi Whiskey on Unsplash

My kids are generally quite honest. This is good because they are incredibly inept at lying.

A prime example comes in the form of my son when it comes to brushing his teeth. Or rather, not brushing them.

If he has cleaned his crooked off-whites, it’s all sweetness and chubby angelic cheeks and here, Daddio — have a whiff of my minty Colgate breath.

If he hasn’t, he’ll lie right to your face, providing your face is floating somewhere up near the ceiling because that is where his eyes roll up toward when he lets the bull fly.

“Let me smell your breath,” I’ll ask.

“Maahh! You don’t believe me! Waaaaaaah!”

“If you brushed, then let me get a snootful of that fluoridey freshness.”

“Meanie!” he said.

“Dude, I felt the toothbrush and it’s not wet. It’s been three days since the bathroom was cleaned, yet the sink contains not a single glob of blue goo. And I marked the level of the anti-cavity rinse in the bottle with a Sharpie this morning and — boo-yah — it’s unchanged.”

“You HATE me!”

For a kid who has had four cavities fixed by age 7, he’s unusually stubborn about this. He’s also unusually oblivious.

A lesson on lying

This is not the first time I’ve laid out how I compile all the evidence against him when he tries to fib his way out of brushing. Why doesn’t he learn from these calling-outs about his lying? Seriously, he could just run the toothbrush under the water, put a dab of toothpaste on his tongue and a mess more in the sink, and then dump a little mouth rinse out?

I think it’s because deep down, he’s morally good and grounded. He’s also somewhat lazy.

What’s a dad to do with a lad who refuses to practice good oral hygiene even though said lad maintains a diet based on all the major members of the -ose family: glucose, fructose, dextrose, etc.?

I’ve tried reward charts, punishments, electric toothbrushes, musical toothbrushes, toothbrushes shaped like fire trucks, toothpaste featuring cartoon characters, toothpaste endorsed by TV stars — you know, everything a good American would try except standing there and actually watching him brush because that would make me a helicopter parent and kids needs to learn responsibility. Also, I’m somewhat lazy.

After one recent argument with him over his failure to brush and greater failure to lie convincingly, I rhetorically asked:

“What do I have to do to get you to brush your teeth?”

Since rhetoric, like penmanship, is not part of the school curriculum in our town, he had an answer.

“Drop your pants,” he said.

So I did.

I did as graceful a “half monty” as a desperate dad could muster. Thankfully, I had put on a pair of relatively new pair of boxer briefs that day and the elastic held tight to my waist.

And no sooner did the pants hit the floor did the boy scurry up the stairs, twist on the tap and begin to brush.

Whoa.

Maybe I’m on to something here?

Next, I will attempt to resolve the Palestinian-Israeli conflict.

For that, though, I may need a wax job.

A version of this previously appeared on Always Home and Uncool.

I’m not lying to her when I say her counterpoints are completely sound. It is her body, it is an unfair double standard. But I say no one wants to have other kids sign her yearbook: “Have a great summer, Sasquatch.”

+ + +

My 14-year-old daughter and I have the following argument every Sunday night:

Me: Did you do everything you need to do?

Her: What do you mean?

Me: You know what I mean. The list of things we talked about.

Her: (grumble mutter grumble mutter)

Me: It’s not a big deal. Just basic grooming stuff. We’ve talked about this.

Her: You know, it’s really weird that my father is making a big deal about whether or not I shave my legs and armpits.

Me: I agree. It is weird. Did you do it?

Her: Isn’t it my business whether I shave or not?

Me: Yes. That is, it will be completely and totally your own business and nobody else’s when you’re 18.

Her: So I don’t have any personal freedom until I’m 18? Why 18? What’s so magic about being 18?

Me: It’s the age when all young people transform into wizards. You get your special powers, you graduate from Hogwarts, and you get to start deciding whether you want to engage in personal grooming habits or not. Go shave, please.

Her: You know, here’s a thought. It’s my body. I should get to decide whether I want hair on it or not.

Me: You’re not wrong.

Her: Also? You don’t have to shave your legs, right? Isn’t it COMPLETELY sexist that society doesn’t make you shave your legs because you’re a man? I mean, you’re totally hairy.

Me: Again. You’re not wrong. It is a deeply sexist and unfair double standard. I agree completely.

Her: So then why –

Me: Because I said so and I’m the ultimate galactic overlord in this house until you graduate.

Her: Nice.

End scene.

Every. Sunday. Night. Same debate.

Here’s the thing. I’m not lying to her when I say her counterpoints are completely sound. It is her body, it is an unfair double standard, and 18 is an arbitrary invisible line.

And, if I thought for one second that she wanted to go unshaven for political reasons, or to make a social statement, I’d say, “Hell yes, my noble daughter. By all means, take a stand!”

But the real reason she hates shaving is because … Sweet Girl be LAZY. That’s it. That’s all.

I’m mean because teens are meaner

I get it. I’m lazy, too. Shaving is a pain. I don’t like doing it myself. I’ve often considered throwing away my razor, letting my beard grow out, maybe cultivating a super-cool, lumberjack-chic, hipster beard that grows down to my Adam’s apple. Possibly accompanied by a nice handlebar ‘stache. All the kids are doing it. The only real reason I shave my face is because last time I did let my beard grew out, I looked in the mirror and saw Santa Claus staring back at me. So, no.

My only real reason for making her shave her legs and armpits weekly? It has nothing to do with social rules, teen hygiene or grooming etiquette. It’s that teenagers, as a rule, can be mean to each other.

The girl ones can be particularly mean. I just don’t want other kids to see her hairy calves and tease her. She’s a tough girl, she may say she doesn’t care if kids make fun of her, but I say no one wants to have other kids sign her yearbook: “Have a great summer, Sasquatch.”

That’s really my only concern.

Is it a fair one? Is it worth a weekly argument about leg shaving? I don’t know.

Out of all issues to care about, and all the battles worth fighting with my daughter, this barely makes the list. And yet I persist. I’ve even put the annoying grooming ritual on her chore list, the weekly completion of which is the key to receiving her allowance.

Friends of mine who have older kids tell me these fun little adolescent issues work themselves out on their own. Boys and girls both start to engage in basic teen hygiene and grooming as soon as they start checking out their peers at school and feel that little itch of self-consciousness. Next thing you know there’s shaving, fragrancing, eyebrow shaping, makeup, the works. Once they commit to personal appearance, they go all in. (I remember that. When I was 16, I got paranoid about how I smelled, and started worrying that basic deodorant wasn’t doing the trick. Like most guys my age, I started drenching myself in Drakkar Noir every day before going to school. Sorry, every kid who ever sat next to me in class that year.)

So I may just give up soon and let it go. Until then, I remain the Teen Hygiene and Grooming Enforcer.

I will say this, though, just between you and me: while I will continue to force her to shave her legs, I secretly agree with every complaint she has about it. I don’t like there are certain rules she’s being asked to follow simply because she’s a girl, and our culture has particular beliefs about what’s appropriate for those who carry a double X chromosome. Whether my daughter’s resistance to shaving is due to laziness or personal politics, she should get to do whatever she wants. Writing this article might be my way of deciding to get on board with Team Hairy Legs.

But don’t tell her I said that.

Photo: Straight Razor for Teen Hygiene via photopin (license)