With our pandemic world finally moving toward a post-pandemic one, Barnard Center for Toddler Development Director Dr. Tovah P. Klein says it’s the perfect time for parents of young children to make needed changes in their children’s lives, such as reducing screen time.

“Children will be fine on a new routines. Any time you switch routines is a great time to say, ‘New rule,'” she says on the latest episode of The Modern Dads Podcast, themed as “What Toddlers Need Now.” While this change may meet some initial resistance, she notes how adaptive children and parents can be, with the pandemic shift in how we learn and live being perfect examples.

Klein, who wrote the parenting classic How Toddlers Thrive, talks about what our children have gained during these difficult times, dispels the theory of “learning loss” during the pandemic, and offers help on how we can thoughtfully help our kids return to camp and school with minimal separation issues.

+ Listen to ‘What Toddlers Need Now’ podcast +

Klein, who is also an adjunct associate professor at Barnard, teaches a year-long course on toddler development there. Her work focuses on young children’s social and emotional development, parental influences on early development, and parents’ experiences raising young children, including the challenges of combining work and family.

Dr. Klein served as a developmental advisor for Sesame Street and HBO films for children. She is on the advisory boards for Room to Grow, Ubuntu Education Fund, Rwanda Educational Assistance Project, LearnNow.org and Children’s Museum of Manhattan. She appears regularly on Good Morning America and her advice has appeared in The New York Times, Redbook, Parents, Slate.com, Huffington Post and countless other social media and print publications.

In her 2014 book, How Toddlers Thrive, Klein distills decades of research and experience with parents and children ages 2 to5 into a book that gives you the tools to easily navigate everyday challenges and struggles, have fewer battles and enjoy your interactions with your child and the toddler years more by seeing the world through your young child’s eyes.

A former clinical fellow at Boston Children’s Hospital with a doctorate in psychology from Duke University, Klein previously appeared on The Modern Dads Podcast in 2014.

Does getting your kid to study feel like pulling teeth? Do you bite your tongue to stop yourself from admitting they’re right when they scream “It’s boring” and “I don’t want to do it!” Studying is simply no fun. But if they want to pass their tests and earn better grades you know they’re capable of, they have to do it.

If you have a child who has all the potential in the world but struggles with test taking, it probably has nothing to do with their intelligence. It might be that they never learned the right strategies for studying effectively. So here are six of the best studying tips for preparing your kid for the big test.

Six Studying Tips for Your Kid

1. Go Over Their Notes
This may seem self-explanatory but reviewing notes before beginning any assignment is extremely important. Have your child do a thorough re-read of all their notes to make sure they understand a concept before starting an assignment. If they are working on an essay, review the prompt together. Make sure they know how long the essay needs to be and what concepts need to be included. This prevents your child from making silly mistakes, like writing about the wrong chapters or forgetting the word count.

2. Plan a Study Schedule
When preparing for a test, you may think the main priority should be reviewing the concepts they struggle with the most. But if they focus too much on this, they might forget to review everything else. To avoid this, have your child draw out a study schedule. Make sure it gives them added time to focus on the most challenging concepts but still allows them time to review the rest of the material. Of our studying tips, this one ensures your child is prepared for everything and won’t be caught off guard by a test question about a concept they forgot.

If your kid has three and a half hours to review for a Spanish test, and they struggle the most with verb conjugation, here’s a plan they could use:

• Present Tense Verbs: 30 minutes
• Verb Conjugation: 50 minutes
• Singular and Plural Adjectives: 35 minutes
• Indefinite Articles: 20 minutes
• Pronouns: 30 minutes
• Re-review Verb Conjugation: 45 minutes

3. Create Essay Outlines
When writing a paper, it’s easy for your kid to feel confused about where to start. Having multiple concepts to cover and a high word count is daunting enough to make them avoid the task altogether. While you can’t write the essay for them, you can help them gather their ideas in an outline. Creating an outline helps organize the information essential to their essay and determine where it all needs to go. Break down the information into related groups and sort them into introductory, body, and conclusion paragraphs. Help them come up with strong topic sentences, recurring themes, and transitions to link all their ideas together. Now that you’ve given your kid some direction with these studying tips, all they need to do is piece it together with words. Try the program Scribbr to show your kid how to write the perfect outline.

4. Make Practice Tests
Before test day, make sure your kid is in the right headspace. To do this, have them craft weekly quizzes that’ll help them review the subjects they’ve been learning. Review your kids notes with them and help them identify the main concepts that are going to be on the test. Then write up a multiple choice test on the computer and have them practice taking it. You can also use websites like Complete Test Preparation to find sample tests for science, math and more.

5. Manage their Distractions
If your student devoted as much time to studying as to their phone, they’d be acing all their tests. Of course you understand how easy it is to get distracted by Instagram and TikTok, but it’s frustrating to see how much it’s impacting their grades. When they are constantly disrupting study time to check texts and apps, it feels like the only solution is taking away their phone altogether. However, preventing them from taking breaks or checking their phone is not the answer. Instead, create a reward system. For every hour and a half of studying they complete, reward them with a 10-minute break to do whatever they want. This’ll give them an incentive to buckle down and hit the books.

6. Get Help From the Teacher
It’s good to encourage your kid to ask questions during class. It ensures they’re getting the answers they need when they don’t understand a subject. However, it’s important to encourage them not to take too much of their teachers time in class. When they habitually ask long questions in class, they might be taking time away from others kids who also need help. It’s important to teach your kids to be considerate of other students and not monopolize their teachers ability to help all students. Instead, encourage them to talk to their teacher after class and determine times when they can get one-on-one help.

If your child’s teacher can tutor your kid, make time in your schedule to accompany your student. This shows your child that you and their teacher want them to succeed. Additionally, it allows you to get a firmer grasp on their learning style so you can better help them study at home.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Andy Earle is a researcher who studies parent-teen communication and adolescent risk behaviors. He is the co-founder of TalkingToTeens.com and host of the Talking to Teens podcast, a free weekly talk show for parents of teenagers.

Best studying tips photo: © Odua Images / Adobe Stock.

If you’re working full-time from home while also adjusting to your kids being there around the clock thanks to remote learning, you’re probably seeing sides of them you hadn’t before. You might see them slacking off a bit without a teacher there to keep them on track. They might be taking breaks a little too frequently or walking away from their work whenever they get bored.

To an extent, you can’t blame them. You’re probably facing many of these challenges yourself. Having so much freedom tempts you to do things you wouldn’t otherwise since there’s no one there telling you otherwise. Maybe you’re listening to loud music while you work. Or wearing sweats while on business calls. Maybe yourr starting work at 11 a.m. instead of 9. But if you children’s newfound freedom is causing them to fall behind in school, it’s time to take some initiative.

Remote learning can be difficult for kids. The limits of online schooling make it much harder for teachers to provide comprehensive learning plans. When their students have learning challenges or disabilities, the challenge becomes greater. Therefore, you must seek additional resources and make a plan to fill in the educational gaps for their children.

Remote learning intensifies pre-existing struggles

Remote learning has posed many new challenges for kids who were already struggling to keep up in school. Children with ADD, who already have trouble sitting still in the classroom, struggle even more when forced to sit through hours of required screen time. Kids who struggle verbally, whether with a stutter or painfully shyness, are even more hesitant to speak up during video learning sessions. Such challenges intensify with remote schooling — and parents must take it on themselves to find a solution.

So where do fathers come in? If it took working from home for you to realize your child is behind the curve, don’t give up hope. Instead, think of schooling from home as a blessing. If it wasn’t for remote-learning you may not have recognized this problem until much later. Now that you have recognized it, figure out how you can be proactive in preventing your kid from falling further behind.

Scheduling private time with teacher

A great first step is to talk to their teachers. See if they also are aware of your kids’ learning difficulties. While they may not be as attuned to your children’s educational weaknesses as you are, their teachers are aware that many kids are struggling to adjust to remote learning and should provide solutions for getting them back on track. If their teacher is willing, schedule a weekly or bi-weekly time for your children to attend one-on-one video sessions to work on subjects they’re struggling with.

If one-on-one sessions with the teacher isn’t an option, don’t worry. There are plenty of online learning resources to give your kids the extra help they need. Some websites provide links to online resources and platforms to help children with subjects they’re struggling in.

Finding freedom in the “new normal”

Your children may be struggling with online schooling because they don’t have other classmates around to keep them motivated. To cure this, find creative and safe ways for them to see their old friends. Reach out to their classmates’ parents to see if you can organize a day at the park when the kids can participate in socially distanced learning exercises. This could be writing math equations in chalk, acting out history lessons or having an outdoor spelling bee. As long as all social distance rules are followed, these playdates provide a healthy outlet for kids. It helps them get reacquainted with each other and offer an opportunity to get help from classmates who excel in subjects they struggle with. Remember, your kids have been deprived of normal socialization for almost a year; if anything, seeing their friends can bring back some normalcy.

If certain times of the day seem to be harder for your children to learn during, consider rearranging their schoolwork schedule. Work around their required online schooling sessions to give them breaks at times when they tend to be the least productive. A great thing about remote learning is the freedom and flexibility to choose when they do things, to some extent. So if one of your children is not a morning person, why should he start school at 8 a.m.? Let him sleep in and start the day when he is fully rested and ready to learn.

Setting up kids for online school success

While you may be enjoying all the extra time you have with your children because of remote learning, it’s important for you to establish that education comes first. If you see struggles because of distractions at home, a lack of socialization or because school’s just hard for them in general, make sure that you’re doing everything you can to keep them on track. Using online resources, taking advantage of the freedoms of schooling from home, and scheduling socially distanced playdates are all ways you can set up children success while they’re learning remotely.

About the author

Eric M. Earle is a Portland-based tutor and the founder of TutorPortland.com. He knows how challenging remote school has been for parents, so he co-founded ZoomTutor.com to fill in the gaps!

Remote learning photo: © Suzi Media / Adobe Stock.

I sit in front of my laptop at my kitchen table most weekdays now, writing radio advertisements while my 6-year-old sits beside me on another laptop learning math in Spanish.

Like many things in 2020, that sentence would’ve made very little sense to me a year ago. Yet here we are.

My son sits in his chair, knees pulled up to his chest, watching the screen. His teacher talks about prisma rectangulares and triangulos. I don’t understand much more than the names of shapes, numbers and colors, and I don’t think my son really does either. But it’s the beginning of his second year in a dual-language immersion program, so hopefully he’ll eventually figure it out. As he sits and wiggles and bounces, he sometimes leans over and clutches my arm or rests his head against me.

Our youngest was slated to start preschool this August. This time last year I thought my house would be incredibly empty come the fall of 2020. How wrong I was. It turns out the house has never been fuller.

Not only am I here all the time — that’s nothing new — all the children are here, too. All day, every day. And so is a growing legion of computers and other devices, worksheets, crayons, pencils, textbooks, glue sticks and occasionally a lizard that just stops by to get in on the house party.

In the few moments during the school day that I’m not providing technical or emotional support, I churn out advertising copy for a content mill I’ve started working for nearly full-time. It’s weird work, but it suits me. There is zero interpersonal interaction. I write quickly so I can crank out large amounts of content and earn decent money. I feel fortunate to have the work when so many others are struggling to stay afloat.

However, this year has certainly seen an unusual confluence of events. I started taking on more work because I anticipated having all the kids in some type of school. Then the pandemic came and crushed all those plans.

Safe at home — now and …

So, now I’m working almost full-time, parenting more than full-time, and leaving the house maybe two or three times a week at the most. All around me, I see other people’s lives going on while I’m in the Groundhog Day movie.

I understand most people want to “get back to normal,” but I’m becoming less and less certain there is any type of normal to get back to. The pandemic has laid bare divisions in our communities I didn’t even know existed. As coronavirus case numbers and deaths piled up here in Florida in July and August, I saw acquaintances and even friends pretending it was over. While many people attempted to cling to normalcy, I completely tossed it aside.

At some point in time that I can’t specifically identify, I stopped venturing out not only because it wasn’t safe, but because I just didn’t want to anymore. I know I’ll have to emerge from my bunker eventually — if not for my sake then at least for my kids — but it won’t be easy.

For example, I went inside a store for the first time in nearly six months a few weeks ago and promptly spilled the entire contents of my wallet on the floor at the checkout. In that moment of raw panic while I shuffled my plastic cards around on the linoleum floor as the cashier judged me with his eyes — luckily the incredulous laugh that was no doubt there was hidden by his mask — I determined that I needed to retreat to my house, throw away all the junk in my wallet, and practice doing routine activities for a few more months or years before venturing out and trying to get “back to normal.”

But it’s not just that I’m socially rusty. Many times, I wonder what really is out there to go back to? What could possibly be worth the risk right now and for the foreseeable future?

It turns out I’m getting pretty comfortable in my very uncomfortable kitchen chair, typing away on my computer, right in the middle of everything that really matters to me. It feels familiar. It feels safe. I never have to search for somewhere that feels like home if I never leave my actual home in the first place. If I’m not careful, I could get a little too used to the safety of this new normal my family has created.

Photo: © ajr_images / Adobe Stock.

I loved playing video games while growing up, but my dad was never into them. Instead, we would usually play board games like checkers or backgammon together. On occasion, when we would visit relatives in Queens, N.Y., we’d break out group games like Monopoly and Trouble. One fateful evening when I was around 10 or 11 years old, we played a very memorable round of the block tower building game, Jenga.

Jenga can be just as riveting to observe as it is to play: Watching others carefully choose the right or wrong block and edge toward a rousing victory or an embarrassing defeat that ends in a pile of rectangular-shaped rubble. During one game, my dad’s turn came up and there were not many moves he could make without the entire tower tumbling over. After about a minute of intense contemplation, he finally picked his block. He carefully removed it from the middle of the stack and placed it on the top of the tower, which swayed, but did not fall. Feeling victorious, he gave himself a high five (yes, that happened) and walked away to bask in his glory while the next player tempted fate on the wobbling structure. The problem was, my dad’s foot accidentally caught the leg of the table. He shook it just enough to knock the entire tower over, despite all the hard work he had put into making the right move. We all roared with laughter as he cried out at his premature celebration.

Why this childhood story? Well, if you have ever played Jenga, you know the setup can be the key to a good game. If you set up the blocks nicely and straight the game can go on for a very long time with proper moves and strategy. Set them up misaligned and unevenly, the tower will fall after only a few rounds. But no matter what you do, no matter how well you plan, you cannot prepare for a stray foot that takes down the tower.

With school starting or already in session during this COVID-19 pandemic, it feels like we are living out the worst game of Jenga.

Some of us live in areas going above and beyond to keep kids and teachers safe; others are in places doing the bare minimum and asking parents to just trust them. As parents, we need to be prepared for the foot that kicks the table no matter what method of schooling our children receive. Every day will bring new challenges and crises, and I believe we can do some essential things that will get us through this with our wits intact and our kids engaged and educated.

Be supportive

A key to surviving, mentally and physically, during this epidemic relies on supporting one another. Checking in with other parents and guardians regularly, even the parents who appear to be breezing through this experience — more than likely, they are struggling like you are. People are already worried about what option works best for their own situation, and once school is fully in session and parents are balancing remote learning and having a full-time job, their stress and anxiety levels will likely increase.

Be honest

This situation sucks for everyone. Parents and guardians are overwhelmed. Our kids are losing out on valuable education and the social interaction that is a key part of the learning process. However, I think the only way we get through this is by being honest and transparent with one another. If you need help, ask for it. If you see someone else needing help, offer it or suggest resources they might find helpful.

Be resourceful

The first few weeks into quarantine/lockdown, I realized my five years of being a stay-at-home dad gave me an advantage not all parents have. I did not have to balance working from home for an employer and getting my kids to sit through hours of Zoom video calls as others did. I already had experience teaching my kids basic lessons and doing fun activities to keep them occupied throughout the day. But as tough as this fall will be for all of us, this is really our second time going through it. That means many of us have developed a new set of skills that can help us this time around. We learned what works well with our kids and what doesn’t. If we learn from those successes and failures, this autumn will hopefully be less traumatic than spring.

Be a friend

If you know someone who needs access to WiFi, see if you can make yours available to them. Have a few extra math or grammar workbooks that might help a student understand their homework better? Offer them up! A small gesture can make a big difference and we can’t assume people have access to all the materials they need.

Be adaptable

Every day until this crisis is behind us, we will be presented with new challenges: changes in weather, the flu, and — unfortunately — more deaths of people we know and don’t know. We all need to try our best to be flexible and adaptable.  Schools are going to open, and many are going to close almost as quickly if students and teachers alike come back positive for coronavirus. It has already started to happen, and nothing about this virus indicates that will change anytime soon.

But just like in Jenga, with proper planning we can be prepared for the collapse we know is coming. We just have to learn from our mistakes and the moves we made so we can repair this fragile tower and rebuild it better than ever before. Even if a foot comes out of nowhere to rock our foundation, we will stand firm and strong and come out heartily laughing when this comes to an end and we neatly place the game back in the box.

Jenga photo: © makibestphoto / Adobe Stock.

Back-to-school tips: we need them now more than ever, right?

COVID-19 concerns. Distance learning struggles. Hybrid-learning model hiccups. Screen time worries. Balancing working from home with a child schooling from home. It all adds up to more pressure on you and your family.

To help with some of these issues you may be encountering, City Dads Group has been working with longtime partner Dove Men+Care to create a series of “how to” videos to deal with various parenting issues. The videos are all part of the grooming products company’s 2020 “Dads Care” campaign.

Here’s some back-to-school tips you may find helpful — or at least entertaining — so your child and you can have a good time while learning during this new normal.

Reading is vital to learning. However, with electronic distractions and pandemic worries all around it can be difficult to get your children focused and into a reading routine especially at back-to-school time. Drew Bennett of our Boston Dads Group explains how he helped his kids become voracious lovers of the written word:

James Lopez of our NYC Dads Group demonstrates the fun way he has been helping his young son learn his numbers, thanks to a positive attitude and some colorful chalk:

Beating stress during back-to-school time is as important for your kids as it is for you. In this video, Devon Bandison of our NYC Dads Group helps you and your child learn how to meditate:

Healthy body, healthy mind, as they say. So while school work is important, don’t forget to let your child get away from the books from time to time to go outside for some fun and physical activity. Jason Greene of our NYC Dads Group offers some helpful tips:

Education shouldn’t be all facts and figures. For younger children especially, arts and crafts can provide fun while learning about colors, shapes, textures and much more. Graphic designer Brent Almond of our Baltimore Dads Group teach you how to get crafty with your children:

Back-to-school tips photo: © Evgeniy Kalinovskiy  / Adobe Stock.

Homeschooling is here indefinitely, and there’s lots of logistics to consider. The biggest for many of us being how to make sure that the kids are learning, and that their homeschooling schedule meshes with our own home/work schedule.

We attempted to have our 11-year-old son follow an academic schedule of sorts at the start. That worked a little, but there was so much crying and whining and “NO, I can’t possibly use THAT pencil!” that I’m not sure how we are going to survive. Here was our original homeschooling schedule, the idea was for 25-minute segments with 15 minutes for resting. It now looks ambitious.

9 a.m. — Social studies. Watched the first part of Crash Course in World History. I asked him to take notes, which he did, but he thought it was boring. I think that was reflexive more than anything else. It turns out he didn’t know a lot of the words, so I had him watch it again, and we went over all the words he didn’t know.

9:40 a.m. — Reading/English Language Arts. He was allowed to read the LitRPG (Literature Role Play Game) novel he’s been reading, but I asked him to summarize each chapter after he read it. This was a huge fight. He eventually agreed. His summaries were poor (and the handwriting very difficult to read.)

10:20 a.m. — Spanish. He’s not actually taking Spanish, but he didn’t want to do Chinese which is what he takes in school, and so we agreed on Spanish using the Duolingo app. (We are still expecting to go back to Barcelona this summer, although the virus may change our plans, so knowing some Spanish would be helpful.)

11 a.m.-noon — Lunch.  Still his favorite subject of the day.

Noon — Writing.  I had him write a five-paragraph essay on why school should only be two hours long. His essay wasn’t bad, but it was only three paragraphs and not that organized.

1 p.m. — Coding/programming.  He wanted to do Minecraft mod coding, which is something he already kind of knows how to do. My wife and I said no: learn Python, HTML, JavaScript or CSS. This turned into a big fight.

1:40 p.m. — Math. This actually turned into phys ed, which was spent playing sports on the WiiU since it was very cold out. He went downstairs to do this, which meant he was out of my hair. This went longer than it was supposed to go, because I wasn’t focused on it.

2:30 p.m. — Physical education. We switched this out with math, which was probably a better idea.

3:20 p.m. — Free choice (but no electronics). He ended up sitting and reading and then counting down the seconds to 4 p.m.

4-6 p.m. — Open play online with friends or alone. This was the only thing that really started on time.

Homeschooling lessons learned

• In retrospect, our schedule was way too much and too crowded. But I don’t want my son on the computer the whole time, and I have other stuff to do that doesn’t include sitting with him and coming up with algebraic problems.
• His handwriting is atrocious. We need to spend some time working on handwriting skills.
• Being a teacher of 11-year-olds requires either the patience of a saint or the hardened feelings of a serial killer. Or both.

The next day, the school did have some assignments to do, but this took maybe an hour to do, all in. There are another six to seven hours of the day to schedule/fill.

Part of me is: OK, let’s take on the role of homeschool teacher, and I will finish all the assignments he’s given, driving him like a slave driver. That’s what he needs is someone pushing him harder, and then he will see the error of his ways and become a genius self-starter (like you know, Elon Musk or Steven Spielberg. Then we will be sitting on easy street, watching his royalty checks roll in like the tide.

The other part of me (probably the sensible part) is saying: NO WAY! Give him rules and structure, but let him figure it out on his own. He will find his own way, and for me to impose my expectations on him is just wrong on a number of levels, and will end up squelching him. He gets where he gets, and I shouldn’t get upset.

I know my reality is somewhere in the middle, but these two extremes pull at me.

I am pretty great with kids (I am a professional clown) and have a lot of patience for other people’s kids, but little patience for my own child. I have a low tolerance for my son’s whining and carping on little details, and his cleverness in trying to avoid work — possibly because I recognize it so much in my own life. When he does that, I get unproportionally pissed off. (Or when he professes that he doesn’t understand something when he clearly does — but saying he doesn’t understand it means he doesn’t have to do it.)

The big question

So how do I NOT be a hard-ass while at the same time get him to be excited about school, and get him to (MOSTLY) be a self-starter about this stuff? I welcome your advice and hard-fought stories in the comments.

A version of this first appeared on Dadapalooza.

Photo: © Aksinia / Adobe Stock.

I am asked repeatedly if I miss homeschooling my children. My answer is consistently a resounding, “no.”

The only part of homeschooling I miss is the flexibility it afforded. We were able to travel the world and homeschool on the road. When we read a book, we could visit the city where the book took place. Since the coronavirus has pushed me back into the homeschool teacher seat, I thought I should share how I’m planning to go about my day and what tools I am using.

The schedule is critical. Starting off the day the same as usual helps get kids back into the mindset of learning. After breakfast, everyone cleans up and we set up our stations around the table. Each kid gets out a pen, pencil and paper. They do this themselves. I set the older ones up first and I give them their instructions and they are off. My pre-K child requires more one-on-one, so I sit next to her until she is at a place where she can go at it alone. From there, I alternate between each kid. My oldest is a teenager and his school provided him with lessons. He only needs a prodding now and then.

When I homeschooled in the past, I purchased all my materials and plans. I’m not doing that for this brief time. I went back and looked through my old lessons to the times I needed help in teaching a subject. During the quarantine period, I am using those sites as our curriculum.

Here’s my homeschool day:

Reading: I’m using Scholastic. The tutorials are self-guided, which means little involvement from me. The reading assignment combines with a science lesson.

Grammar: Khan Academy will be your best friend while homeschooling. The step-by-step lessons are easy to manage and to plug in and out of. I also like to add Mad Libs to learn grammatical terms. They also write in two books. One book they use as a journal and the other they are writing their own story.

Math: Khan Academy.

Government: This is a great time to be studying Government and iCivics is the perfect site. Kids (and you) can learn about how our government was formed and how it is supposed to work.

History: We are watching Liberty’s Kids, which is about three children working for Benjamin Franklin during the Revolutionary War. The kids are fictional, but the events in the story are real.

Spanish: My kids are in a dual-language program and I don’t want them falling behind. Problem is, I am not a Spanish speaker. For those lessons, I am relying on various YouTube channels like Rock ‘N Learn and Spanish for Kids.

Getting energy out:

The kids are bound to get restless and for those moments, I use Go Noodle. There’s a good chance you’ll end up doing the dances as well. I have recently begun doing yoga with my kids after stumbling across Cosmic Kids. It’s a fun way to introduce kids to Yoga, or help you get a few minutes to catch up on your work.

Random homeschooling thoughts

• You’ll be surprised at how much kids can pack in when they are not waiting for the rest of the class.
• This is a weird time, so take time off and have a marathon movie day when the time calls.
• You’re the judge of what your kids can do and what you are capable of.
• Don’t compare your house to others. If the day is turning stressful, drop everything. You will not solve it by forcing everyone to work.

That’s my plan and my advice. I would love to hear how you are teaching in the midst of COVID-19 in the comments below.

A version of homeschooling tips first appeared on One Good Dad. Photo: © Aksinia / Adobe Stock.

Based on my parenting experience, I immediately associate the word “virtual” with meaning “almost.” That there’s been a diminished effort, something watered down or, very simply, done half-assed.

And, to date, my inclination to disregard anything my kids say is virtual has been proven right. Virtually every time.

Everett, my 5-year-old “picked up virtually all the LEGOs.” Then, after tucking him in, my bare footsteps entirely on one of those little, yellow character heads.

Yosef, my oldest, said he “did virtually all of my math.” Never mind his weekly progress reports littered with the word “incomplete.”

My 3-year-old says she ate “virtually all of my green beans.” She says it emphatically as if she has earned the right to move on to dessert. Meanwhile, four lonely beans grow cold next to her plate.

This is why I quickly dismissed the concept of my fifth grader, Lynden, attending advanced math class via a virtual school setting this semester. I was fine with the, pardon the term, old-school, brick-and-mortar structure my kids attend – no need for any virtual school here, thank you very much and good day, sir!

But, like most modern parents, I shelved my initial hesitation to make sure Lynden had access to an opportunity I didn’t. We decided to give the virtual school a try and, to date, my preconceived notions of it being “almost school” have been entirely wrong. Virtually.

Virtual math class has been tough for my son. An otherwise good student who rarely needs to expend too much effort, Lynden cries every day about something related to the online class: misunderstanding concepts, complaints about poor example problems given, or his failed attempts at using alternative methods to solve problems. My wife and I are constantly fielding questions from Lynden – often as he fights back tears – seeking clarity on topics covered in the course materials that he skimmed through too quickly.

In general, I don’t enjoy seeing any of my kids struggle, but, in this case, I kind of like it. Success at his elementary school has come easy for Lynden and I fear he has started figuring out that a 90 percent yields the same grade as a 100 percent. So why put in the extra effort? Having him pound us with questions for his online class has made it clear that in school he is spoon-fed concepts by a teacher ready to swoop in when a student hits a speed bump.

This virtual school experience has shaken his complacency and is forcing him to use (or develop) skills that the traditional, classroom setting is not:

Virtual Lesson #1: Keeping pace on one’s own

Lynden must manage his schedule to meet deadlines without a plan that has been laid out for him. The virtual school provides guidance regarding keeping up and milestones to make sure students remain on pace. In school, though, adults tell the students exactly what today’s work will be, remind them of impending deadlines and often give the test’s content in advance.

As he progresses through higher grades and into the workforce, no one will tell Lynden the sequence of steps needed to be successful. Rather, deadlines will exist and the path to those due dates will be irrelevant.

Virtual Lesson #2: Figure it out for yourself

Lynden came into the virtual school needing a constant lifeline – an on-call expert who would appear at his side during any times of ambiguity or struggle. That mentality doesn’t work in a virtual learning setting. Whether in school, at work or in the arena, no one should get 100 on everything the first time. Missing problems and grinding through the rework to find the solution is a critical life lesson.

Virtual Lesson #3: Work well with others even if they aren’t in the room

The virtual classroom mandates healthy, online collaboration with other students. Watching Lynden learn how to work with others online intrigues me. I’m convinced this is a necessary skill he must develop. Working remotely with colleagues of varying experience levels and with differing viewpoints will be the way of getting things done in the future. Virtual school is teaching Lynden this lesson for the first time in fifth grade.

While I’ve come around on the benefits of young kids learning remotely, I’ll stop short of saying virtual school is a 1-to-1 substitute for the standard elementary school experience. Kids do need the socialization and face-to-face interactions that a school day provides. However, they also need to understand how to work with people in other places, to manage their schedule and to develop the persistence needed to grind through lessons without the crutch of a teacher there to clear up any immediate confusion.

Online learning is here to stay – in my house and, if it isn’t already, in yours soon. That should excite, not scare, us parents. I’m virtually certain of it.

Photo: Tobin Walsh