Disclosure: I am part of Netflix’s #StreamTeam and I have agreed to regularly share some of my favorite things about Netflix in exchange for some goodies and experiences. As always, the thoughts written here are my own.

Just like my wife and I try to watch the same shows at the end of our busy days (I like to call it Date Night, Every Night), we prefer our two boys watch the shows together rather than retreating to their own devices every evening.

It was easy when they were younger. For their first viewing years, our eldest (by three years) controlled the television because he was the only one that cared. I still sing the songs set to a featured piece of classical music on Little Einsteins, and I’ll never forget a friend of my oldest bursting into tears as Annie translated Baby Chimp’s feelings as she sang, “I am lost and I am looking for mom and dad” to Bedřich Smetana’s Moldau. Neither boy remembers the incident, but both still cringe when I sing Annie’s infamous line.

The following years were also pretty easy as the little brother followed the big brother’s lead (as little brothers tend to do). We cycled through Sid the Science Kid, Dinosaur Train, and Super Why. All of these television shows were entertaining and, at least, a little educational for the boys and palatable for me.

The inevitable happened when my oldest was about 9. He was tired of “baby shows” and wanted to watch something for more mature audiences. We tried Phineas and Ferb (thumbs up from the older, meh from the younger) and Miles of Tomorrow Land (thumbs up from the younger, meh from the older). We were saved by Brain Games, a show actually so fun that even my wife and I would sit down to watch, though the boys definitely wondered whether I would let them watch the “Battle of the Sexes”episode (season 4, episode 5).

These days, our oldest (nearly 12) really only wants to watch sports, while the youngest (nearly 9) still loves the television shows from his youth. We still hold strong on them negotiating to watch the same show so every night is a discussion on how they will split their TV time. The non-sports time is usually taken up by the current season of The Voice, MasterChef Junior, or America’s Got Talent. Entertainment now reigns supreme over education, but every now and then, when the oldest is not around, the youngest gets to watch whatever he wants. His current favorite is Octonauts, a show that I have not even seen a full episode of and one that I certainly don’t know any of the songs or even of the characters … he seems to be just fine with that. This television show is all his own.

Editor’s Note: This review by Josh Bellish of our Portland Dads Group is for the Netflix StreamTeam. If you or someone you know is in danger, please visit www.13reasonswhy.info to find out more about suicide prevention.

If you haven’t heard about 13 Reasons Why on Netflix yet, or you just don’t believe the hype I implore you to check it out. Rarely have I watched anything that was so powerful, moving and relevant.

Hannah Baker (played by Katherine Langford), a high school junior, has committed suicide and left a series of 13 tapes to explain the reasons for her decision. Each tape is about a different person and the event(s) that influenced her choice. You watch flashbacks from Hannah’s perspective as well as current events as the character Clay Jensen (Dylan Minnette) listens to the tapes. You also watch the struggles each of the 13 people face in light of their involvement and the devastation the parents of Hannah suffer as they learn why their daughter killed herself.

The strong, profound public reaction to 13 Reasons Why, based on the 2007 novel by Jay Asher, comes from its character relatability and head-on approach to bullying, sexual assault and suicide. Several scenes will make viewers uncomfortable, and that is the whole point. 13 Reasons Why clearly wants us to take our heads out of the sand and show a series of events, some seemingly harmless, can empty someone of their desire to continue with life.

Keep several thing in mind when watching 13 Reasons Why:

• While each character’s actions influenced Hannah’s decision, some were not necessarily malicious acts. The 13 Reasons Why writers do a good job showing the “why” behind each event. You can’t help but feel bad for some of these kids and their own personal struggles.
• Even the worst offender, whose actions are unforgivable, has things going on in his life that — once you get past the feelings of disgust — you could empathize with.
• Hannah is also imperfect. Her own actions create some of her hardship and that bothered me at first. I asked myself how she could blame this person when she is also at fault. And that is exactly the point. Life is a series of events influenced by many people. She recognized some of the fault also fell on her at times but that doesn’t change how they can empty you.

Make sure that you also watch the accompanying Behind the Reasons episode with every showing. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, I would not recommend watching this show as it might be too graphic or contain triggers. I would also caution anyone under the age of 13 from watching this and recommend that anyone under 18 watch this with an adult.

As someone who struggled with many of the same issues dealt with in 13 Reasons Why, I would ask you to use this as an opportunity to reflect on your own every day interactions with people.

Think about how those seemingly harmless comments or jokes might not be so harmless under the right circumstances.

Ask yourself what message you send to your kids when you comment on someone’s looks.

Talk to your kids about sexual consent and what it truly looks like, such as not saying “no” is not the same thing as saying “yes.”

Ask your kids if they see any similarities between the events in this show and the things they see at school or online every day. Discuss that not all secrets should be kept. Provide a safe place free of judgement or blame for them to talk about how they are feeling.

Most important of all, learn to be kind to each other. If any character in 13 Reasons Why had done something different, had one person looked outside their own personal struggles to see Hannah’s, then she might not have done what she did. This truth is not just in a show, it happens to the people we see every day.

Netflix recently brought teens and parents together to discuss their relationship, something that also plays a role in 13 Reasons Why:

Disclosure: City Dads Group is part of the Netflix #SteamTeam. All opinions are the author’s.

My wife and I don’t have a perfect marriage, but one thing I think we do well is prioritize our time together. While we often take advantage of what living in New York City offers by going on the town, even on nights we stay home we choose to be together rather than retreat to separate corners of the house.

I’ve taken to naming this ritual, “Date Night Every Night.” It begins when the kids have gone to bed and we’ve finished all the kitchen cleaning, bill paying, permission slip signing and so on. After briefly catching up on what’s happened in our day, we are both ready to kick back with a glass of wine and our favorite TV show of the moment.

No (or at least not much) judgement for the couples who retreat to their own devices at the end of the day, but we have found plenty of good TV that fits in the overlapping area of our Venn diagram of tastes.

Here are some Netflix shows I think will be perfect for your Date Night Every Night.

To remember the single life

Master of None – “New Yorker Dev takes on such pillars of maturity as the first big job, a serious relationship, and busting sex offenders on the subway.” A fun look at what NYC life is like for the pre-kids millennial crowd that kinda makes me jealous, but mostly makes me happy to have settled down. Binge watch Season 1 because Season 2 premieres May 12. Aziz Ansari tweeted a preview:

Master of None Season 2 premieres May 12th on Netflix. pic.twitter.com/nqqogKPnrm

— Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) March 15, 2017

For the foodie couple

Chef’s Table – “Find out what’s inside the kitchens and minds of the international culinary stars who are redefining gourmet food.” This is one of the most beautifully produced shows I have ever seen made even better by the fact that we live in New York City and can go to some of the featured restaurants. Season 3 posted a few weeks ago with chefs ranging from Ivan Orkin of Ivan’s Ramen (headed there this weekend) to Buddhist nun Jeong Kwan.

For a good date night laugh

Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt – “When a woman is rescued from a doomsday cult and lands in New York City, she must navigate a world she didn’t think even existed anymore.” The premise is somewhat absurd, but everyone can relate to being a fish out of water, especially in NYC. Another one to binge watch before Season 3 launches on May 19.

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpiJGd8EL8M

That should keep you two busy on date night, at least between the kids’ bedtime and yours.

Disclosure: I am part of the Netflix #SteamTeam and was compensated for this post. All opinions are my own.