Black History Month still means something to me after all these years.

When I was a child, February was one of the few times I would see a multitude of black heroes on television or displayed prominently in the library.

I fondly remember receiving in school Black History Month textbook covers and comic books focusing on the likes of Benjamin Banneker and Rosa Parks.

I saw Roots for the first time during Black History Month, and its impact is still with me today. It made me cry and wonder why I was born black until my mother, in her special way, made it clear to me that black is beautiful. From that point forward, this month has been a source of pride.

So, to my family, celebrating black culture is important — period. So what are we doing this month?

1) Literature

I am adding some new books to my daughter’s library. Addressing civil rights through children’s literature has been quite effective with my daughter. She is curious and has posed thought provoking questions and made insightful observations. Speaking of her class, my wife and I will be visiting to read a book about Rosa Parks.

2) Keeping it real

Our family does not shy away from the truth. There is a long, unfortunate history in this country of blacks being enslaved, lynched, Jim Crow’ed, and generally mistreated. When I share pictures of Jacob Lawrence’s “Migration Series” with Camilla, I have to discuss why blacks were migrating north in such huge numbers during in the early parts of the 20th century.

3) New York City landmarks

African Americans have truly impacted the history of New York City, so it is easy to find opportunities to celebrate Black History Month here, especially in Harlem. My wife recently re-introduced the beautiful Harriet Tubman statue to our daughter. We rode the bus past the Duke Ellington statue and the Frederick Douglass memorial last week and discussed why they had monuments created in their honor.

4) Watch a few things

In addition to spending time discussing how lucky she has been to meet prominent blacks like Spike Lee, Swin Cash, Cari Champion and Yvette Campbell, we will also watch some clips/highlights of some of our favorite people such as Misty Copeland and Skylar Diggins.

5) Music

Whether it is the sheer brilliance of Stevie Wonder, the vocal stylings of Mahalia Jackson, or the majesty of Aretha Franklin, the impact of blacks in music is undeniable. There are genres, such as gospel, blues and hip hop that would not exist if it were not for the black experience. So, we will certainly be cranking the MJ, the MJB, and the JB.

There are many debates about whether Black History Month is needed or has been watered down or is too corporate. But, I fear if we stop celebrating it during February, we might lose the month. For example, years ago I was teaching American history to eighth graders. I was doing a unit on slavery that coincided with a PBS documentary on the same topic on TV. The parent of one of my white students asked me a question I promised I would never forget, “When are we going to go back to teaching real American history?”

So celebrating, honoring, and remembering black history will remain something of great importance to our family throughout the year, but especially during this month.

A version of this first ran on The Brown Gothamite.

Many people grew up without fathers around. For some, it was an untimely death, others incarceration. I know of friends who had a father in the military.

For me, I grew up with a father who couldn’t and didn’t live up to his responsibilities. I spent the majority of my life without my dad, by his choice.

So, when people ask me to reflect on my father during this time of year, I get a little resentful. I still remember a second grade project I was required to complete. It was a Father’s Day card. I told my teacher that I didn’t have a father at home. The teacher said that didn’t matter. I needed to do this assignment or I would have my report card ripped up.

But what if I responded to these requests for the “lessons that you learned from your dad?” with answers from my absent dad? It would be something like this:

Make promises you can’t keep.

Tell your child you will be there to spend the day with him or her and don’t show up. Or when you do show up, do something completely different from what you promised. My absent dad was a culprit of this practice.

Threaten the personal safety of your child.

Nothing better represents the maturity needed to handle fatherhood like threatening the well-being of your child. My dad once told my mother that he would kidnap me from my school.

Buy the cheapest quality products for your child.

Buy toys that last minutes, and not because your child broke them. Search far and wide to find toys that no child has probably ever owned. My dad once gave me a Man doll. Seriously. It was just a man in boxer shorts. No accessories, not even a pair of shoes. Said Man on the package. Where did he even shop?

What I have realized over the years is that my mother is one of the primary reasons I am the father I am today. She helped me understand that a father makes sacrifices for his child. She made it clear that a father should put an emphasis on his child’s education. I even learned from her the importance of not stifling a child’s creativity.

So, I’d ask folks who pose these types of Father’s Day questions to perhaps broaden their line of questioning. Be more inclusive and less simplistic. Because you might be missing out on a good story and stifling a voice.

“Being your father has been an amazing experience. I am better in every way because of your influence on my life.”

Dear Daughter,

I write this on the eve of your 6th birthday …

The love I have for you has changed my life. It has made me more patient. More thoughtful. More emotional. Seriously, kid, commercials about parenting make me cry now. And, finally, I am now more willing to comfortably express my opinions. I am a better human being because of you. For that, I am forever grateful.

When you turned 5, I knew that it would be a year of milestones, primarily because of your entering kindergarten. But, I could not imagine just how much age 5 would impact your maturation. In honor of this development, here are six things I love about you on your 6th birthday.

I love your concern.

Protesting. Challenging adults who are smoking around you. Telling someone about why eenie meenie minie moe can be problematic. Finding an act of kindness to perform each school day. You are a good citizen who truly works to make a difference each day, while learning from mistakes made.

I love your work ethic.

Your persistence while learning how to tie your shoe. Your time spent working on projects. Your willingness to create your own math problems without prodding. Staying 40-plus minutes after your basketball class to work on your shot. You are determined to improve, and you prove this each and every day!

I love how you express love.

Jumping on our bed in the morning for a hug, snuggling while reading a book, or just your saying how much you love me, I know I am loved as much as I love you.

I love your passions.

Reading. Basketball. Superheroes. Feminism. You love what you love with all your heart and work to become as knowledgeable as possible about those passions.

I love your poise.

From performing 10 songs for a cabaret camp performance to asking Zoe Saldana and Chris Evans questions in live broadcasts of Good Morning America with millions of people watching, you handle pressure and all our NYC adventures with such surprising ease. Seriously, people 10 times your age can’t handle these types of situations.

I love your creativity.

Simply put, you made a song entitled, Rainbow Disco Party.

Being your father has been an amazing experience. I am better in every way because of your influence on my life. You have evolved into an even more impressive young woman than I could have ever imagined. And you’re only 6.

I am so proud of you. I love you. Happy birthday!

–A version of this first appeared on The Brown Gothamite.

One of my favorite things to do with my daughter is to attend New York Liberty basketball games. If you haven’t been to a game before or you missed the 2017 season opener, there’s a lot of season left. If you need more persuading, here are five reasons why Liberty games are so awesome:

1. They play in The Garden

Madison Square Garden is one of the best places in the country to watch a game. The energy of the fans. The history of the arena. Seriously, nothing beats it!

2. Family friendly and affordable

“Affordable” and “New York City” are rarely seen in the same sentence. And to be fair, “friendly” and “New York City” are not often paired either. But, the Liberty genuinely offer family-friendly and affordable fun. You can buy tickets in the $20 range. The Liberty play six Sunday home games at 3 p.m. that feature kid activities such as face painting, on-court family games and autograph sessions with the players. Family Fun Zone on the kids. The Liberty even offers a Family Funday Sunday partial season ticket plan for those games as well as other great deals. The team also offers other great giveaways while Maddie the mascot always makes the rounds and most games feature three dance teams, including one of senior citizens and a kids’ group. So, bring your family, and you will definitely have a blast.

3. Tina Charles

I had the pleasure of attending a Liberty event that featured Head Coach Bill Laimbeer. A basketball legend in his own right, Laimbeer told us that Charles is one of the best players in the world. And she is coming off of a season when she was the MVP runner-up and led the league in scoring and rebounding! Not to mention that she won another Olympic Gold Medal last summer. Rumors are that she has spent the offseason extending her range. Yeah, she’s getting better, and she plays her home games at The Garden!

4. See some of the world’s best basketball players

While a New York Liberty game is a great opportunity to cheer for your home team, it’s also a chance to see some of the world’s best players like Maya Moore, Diana Taurasi, Breanna Stewart, Nneka Ogwumike and Elena Delle Donne. If you love basketball, you will see great basketball on display.

5. New York Liberty one of the WNBA’s best teams

The New York Liberty have been a top 3 team the past two seasons, even finishing with the best regular season record in 2015. They are again a serious championship contender, and added some depth during the offseason. Coach Laimbeer has the team play hard-nosed defense with players like Kiah Stokes and Shavonte Zellous. That’s what New Yorkers love. In addition, guards Epiphany Prince and Sugar Rodgers, and the aforementioned center Tina Charles put the ball in the hoop with regularity. A championship banner at The Garden is not out of the question.

I hope these reasons will lead you to Madison Square Garden to watch the Liberty. If you’re not in New York City, the WNBA plays in 11 other cities across the country! So, get out there, watch some superb basketball, and support a league full of amazing women! See you at The Garden!

Check out this preview of the upcoming season!

Richard Linklater’s 2003 film School of Rock is one of my favorites. It’s the type of film for me that I have to watch if I see it on television. The cast, the music, the heart — there’s so much about that film that I adore. So, when I was given the opportunity to attend School of Rock: The Musical on Broadway, I jumped at the chance. I hoped it would have that same wonderful spirit that the film embodied. Thankfully, it does.

School of Rock: The Musical is a fun, heartwarming, and thoroughly entertaining time at the theater. As in the movies, the Broadway version follows Dewey Finn, a failed, wannabe rock star who masquerades as a substitute teacher at a prestigious prep school to make a few extra dollars. When learns many of his straight-A students are also classical music prodigies, he tries to turn them into a face-melting rock group for a battle of the bands contest.

Since the musical takes place mostly at school, the most important aspect of the show is the performance of the children and this wonderfully diverse cast does not disappoint. And they all play their instruments throughout the show. They are immensely talented on stage and even more impressive off stage. During a Q&A session after the performance, the young actors discussed the various instruments they play. Several shared that they actually learned instruments just for the show.

In addition, the consensus among the children in the cast is that the most impactful song is “If Only You Would Listen,” a number that reveals the backstories of all the children. It’s a highlight, and they are truly the heart of School of Rock: The Musical. I will say that I didn’t find the show suitable for children the age of my first-grader, due to some language and content. The film was PG-13, so use that as a guide.

It’s tough to follow in the footsteps of Jack Black, the originator of the Dewey Finn role in the movie, but Merritt David Janes does a really nice job in the lead. I was particularly pleased to see that the role of Horace Green School headmaster Rosalie Mullins was fleshed out in the musical and Jenn Gambatese is delightful.

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFRPXRhBYOI

School of Rock: The Musical features only the original music from the movie (except for a few snippets of the Rollings Stones and Deep Purple) as well as an original score by the incomparable Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, who funding an $1.3 million, three-year initiative to support theatre education opportunities for underserved young people and under-resourced U.S. public schools.

School of Rock: The Musical was also nominated for four 2016 Tony Awards, including Best Musical, Best Score, Best Book, and Best Leading Actor in a Musical. So, make your way to the Winter Garden Theater to check out this fantastic show. Ticket prices are as low as $59,

Visit schoolofrockthemusical.com to learn more and to book tickets!

DISCLOSURE: In exchange for an honest review, I received show tickets at no cost.

Dear Camilla,

As you might have noticed, I am a fan of many forms of technology. Although I have heard numerous parents discuss their disdain for it and who have decided not to expose their children to devices like a tablet or a smartphone, I remain convinced these devices as well as others are much more of an asset than a liability. So, I have decided to write this as a way to explain exactly what technology means to me.

I realize that it’s difficult for me to think of technology without thinking of you. It is being able to share your birth with dozens of friends and family within minutes of your arrival. It’s being able to look at pictures of you and document my life with you in my blog. I view technology as a helpful tool in your development. I love looking for helpful and fun apps that can aid your reading and writing. Others let you create digital art. I can even expose you to digital instruments to develop your own music and share those sick beats with friends. I can Google the songs you are singing for your end-of-the-year school performance when you want to rehearse the songs at home. Speaking of music, technology is having quick and easy access to my vast music library. You have become a fan of Stevie Wonder, Adele, and Earth, Wind & Fire along with others thanks in large part to this access. These are all great compliments to your current toys, what your mom and I offer you as parents, and what you do in school.

It’s been so wonderful to see you embrace technology. But, I believe you will one day find it even more impactful. Technology has given you access to two of your idols whose talent inspires you: ballerina Misty Copeland and WNBA All-Star Skylar Diggins. Without Twitter, you would not have been able to share videos that drew the attention and appreciation of these amazing women. The use of technology can remind you we are blessed. It affords you the opportunity to learn about and aid the less fortunate across the globe. Technology lets us speak about issues we care about and share those thoughts with the world. I can’t wait to see you redefine technology as you continue your maturation.

One of my favorite writers is the legendary Ray Bradbury. Bradbury wrote several works of fiction that were not-so-subtle cautionary tales. In these works, he warned of an “over” reliance on technology. What can’t happen is a loss of our humanity. The key is a balanced approach. Personally, I will never use it to replace my parenting, nor should you use to completely replace interacting with human beings. That’s unacceptable. So, I end with this, Camilla. Continue to find ways to utilize technology in a variety of helpful and thoughtful forms.

Sincerely,

Daddy

A version of this first ran on The Brown Gothamite. Photo: PublicDomainPictures.net

Editor’s Note: A discount code on ticket prices follows this Kinky Boots review.

The Broadway hit musical Kinky Boots is not only utterly heartwarming, timely and dynamic but also, at the show’s core, sends an important message about the impact of fathers on their children.

The show’s primary character, Charlie, inherits a men’s shoe factory from his recently deceased father and learns that his family’s century-old business is in dire straits. To save the factory and keep many townspeople employed, Charlie finds inspiration in Lola, a cross-dressing cabaret performer in need of sturdy stilettos for work.

This show focuses on the relationships the two main characters had with their fathers. Charlie continues to live under the shadow of his father after taking the mantle of factory owner. Lola lives without any fatherly shadow or influence, but is still very much influenced by the actions of a man who did not support or accept his child. Yes, Lola’s upbringing is truly depressing. However, Lola is inspired by the famous Oscar Wilde quotation, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”

In addition to some of the show’s themes, I also loved its music. Much to the chagrin of my family who don’t appreciate my terrible singing voice, I’ve been singing several of the infectious songs written by legendary singer/songwriter Cyndi Lauper for days. I especially enjoyed the songs performed by Lola. They have so much soul that it’s difficult not to adore this character.

I absolutely love how the show describes itself on its website: “There’s never been a better time to see Kinky Boots. It’s a celebration of the best in all of us — the challenges that shape our journey, the joys that keep us going and the shoes that lift us up along the way!” So, make some time to see Kinky Boots. You won’t be disappointed.

DISCLOSURE: In exchange for an honest Kinky Boots review, the writer received shows tickets at no cost.

Save up to 40% on select performances through Feb. 12, 2017!

Visit kinkybootsthemusical.com and use promo code BOOTS3.

Conditions: Offer valid on select seats. Blackout dates may apply. Offer valid for all performances now through Feb. 12, 2017. This offer cannot be combined with any other discount and is not applicable to previously purchased tickets. Regular prices $55-$147. Limit 8 tickets per order.

When friends and family members learned my wife and I were expecting our first child, they shared lots of advice. Perhaps the most common advice offered was that our lives would be changed forever. To be honest, every time someone shared that, I internally said, “Well, d’uh!”

As we began to share the exciting news with our employers, I then realized I should not have been so flippant.

There was one thing of which I was certain when I learned I was becoming a father: I would be involved and present for my wife and child. For me, spending extended time home with my family after my child’s birth was mandatory. So, I wanted to take parental leave from my job.

Having this time to help my wife and bond with my child was critical. Although my employers supported my desire for parental leave, they didn’t offer paid leave. So, I took an unpaid leave of absence. It wasn’t as much time as I would have liked, but I took it. I’m thankful for that experience, but to this day, I am disappointed there wasn’t a paid paternal leave policy in place at my former job.

Most people in our country cannot afford to lose three months of salary, so why do so many employers offer such a hollow policy? Only three states — California, Rhode Island and New Jersey — have paid family leave plans. However, 18 other states are considering leave plans. This needs to change and quickly.

Paid parental leave gains momentum 

So, I commend The Gates Foundation and their parental leave policy.

I commend EBay for revamping their policy, too.

And Netflix might deserve a standing ovation for their unprecedented 12 month leave policy!

I have to thank my hometown mayor, New York’s Bill De Blasio, for signing an order in January that gives 20,000 city employees paid parental leave. Mayor De Blasio said, “For too long, new parents have faced the impossible choice between bonding with their child and paying their bills.”

I was tremendously excited to hear earlier this year that Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg was taking two months of parental leave. Unfortunately, I saw Facebook posts from far too many dads who claimed that this doesn’t matter. Look, it matters, even though he is famous. Consider this: Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, and Caitlyn Jenner have changed the dialogue about being transgender. Magic Johnson continues to change the dialogue about HIV and AIDS. Sheryl Sandberg has so many of us “leaning in” on gender equity. So, maybe Mark Zuckerberg can help change the dialogue about parental leave, especially for fathers.

Our society still does not consistently believe in fathers being hands-on parents, as a recent YouGov/Huffington Post survey reminds us: “For men, Americans see things differently: 21 percent of respondents said that most men would prefer to take no leave and half said men would want less than 12 weeks leave. Fourteen percent said that they would think less highly of a man who took 12 weeks of paternity leave after the birth of his child.”

So, until parental leave is the norm, I am celebrating when fathers take parental leave or when companies revamp their leave policies to include fathers or when government institutes positive change.

What can you do? I am simply asking fellow fathers to support the need for parental leave. So, share posts, retweet, and hit social media hard to make it clear you support this cause. Reach out to your local politicians and find out if they support a parental leave policy. If they don’t, tell them why they should. To new dads, if you are blessed to work for a place that provides substantive parental leave, take the leave! Treasure the time with your newborn. Support your spouse or partner. Take it from me, it will mean the world to your family. And tell people about that employer!

A version of this first appeared on The Brown Gothamite.

Editor’s Note: The author is a consultant for The Center for Parental Leave Leadership, the first consulting and coaching company “devoted exclusively to helping our nation’s companies improve their parental leave policy and practice,” according to its website.

The new Broadway musical, Bright Star, created by comedian/actor Steve Martin and musician Edie Brickell, recently offered us tickets to the show in exchange for an honest review. And honestly, we could not have had a more memorable experience.

Our Bright Star review is simply five reasons why you will also enjoy it:

1. The Truly Amazing Carmen Cusack

Cusack, a Broadway newcomer, portrays the character of Alice, an acclaimed editor of the fictional Asheville Southern Journal. She owns every scene in which she appears. She is truly a revelation with a voice rich in beauty and passion. If you see her in Bright Star, you will witness the birth of the next Broadway star.

2. Addictive Music

Bright Star’s music, co-written by Martin (who has made a new career for himself in recent years as an acclaimed banjo player and bluegrass musician) and the one-time pop star Brickell, is delightful and engaging. It was really hard not to tap my feet to the infectious bluegrass melodies from the talented band conducted by Rob Berman. I was humming and singing Bright Star songs for days after seeing the show.

3. The Dual Storyline

I’d prefer not to share too much about the plot, but one of the pleasant surprises of this musical is its setting in the 1920s and 1940s. It leads to some powerful and heart-wrenching scenes that showcase a stellar all-around cast.

4. Sense of Humor

Although there are some tear-inducing moments in Bright Star, the show has a truly wonderful sense of humor. Having Martin as one of the creative forces behind the show’s book and story is certainly a reason why.

5. Originality

Martin and Brickell crafted a truly original, yet quintessential Broadway musical. Although that might sound like a contradiction, it’s not. The musical itself tells an original and compelling story, yet, it harkens back to some classic Broadway shows of the past.

Edie Brickell on creating Bright Star

After seeing the show, I was left with some questions. Grammy winner and co-creator of Bright Star, Edie Brickell, was kind enough to answer those questions.

NYC Dads Group: Congratulations! Bright Star is truly a breathtaking work of art. The music and the spirit are so joyful. What interested you most about creating a story through the form of a musical?

Edie Brickell: I love The Sound of Music so much and wanted to try to make a musical where you could easily sing every song. I wanted them to be fun to sing along to with hooky phrasing and sweet melodies. Luckily, Steve wanted to make the same style musical so we gave it our best shot.

How did you decide on the time period and setting of the show? 

EB: We like the style of the ’40s so much and since we knew we had a strange situation involving a train, we wanted towns in close proximity where tracks ran near to Asheville, N.C. — the town mentioned in a song on our first record that influenced our setting.

You’ve collaborated with Steve Martin before. What has this collaboration process with him been like? 

EB: We have an easy rapport. He is fun-loving and good humored, just as I hoped he’d be!

Our Bright Star review intrigue you? Get discount tickets now

If you are interested in Bright Star, we have a great opportunity for you. You can purchase tickets for as low as $39 for performances through June 12 via the Bright Star website using the discount code: BSBLOG303.