Earlier this week, almost 20 dads & their kids hit The Little Gym on the UWS.  Today’s guest blog entry is from Chris Dean, brand spanking new NYC Dads Group member & talented blogger of English Dad in New York. I am hopeful that we will be able to feature Chris as a guest blogger more frequently in the future!  This honest & inspirational piece about what it felt like to go to his first meet-up event as a new member of the group will hopefully nudge a few more dads out there to get involved in a parenting or dads group and join the party….

MORE THAN A FEW GOOD MEN

When Alex was on maternity leave, it seemed as though she had fifteen “mommy’ engagements a day. Our monthly bank statement read like a Zagat guide and Max’s social network would have made Mark Zuckerberg blush.

Of course it helped that she could tap into the endless supply of mommy groups, message boards and baby classes in the City. But being a stay-at-home dad in New York is incredibly isolating. The support structure is not there is the same way it is for moms. Well, at least this was my argument for why I regularly took Max to the pub rather than play-dates.

So when Alex asked me: “Have you actually looked for any Dads groups?” The cheek. I replied indignantly: “No actually. No I have not.”

So belatedly I typed “Dad meetup group New York” into my old friend Google, and I clicked on the first result (as I’m not much of a reader). It was a group called, shockingly enough, “NYC Dads Meetup Group”. I joined instantly and became their 300th member. Hooray! I was not alone. Perhaps I could invite them to the pub too.

This brings us to today and my first dads’ meetup at the Little Gym of the Upper West Side. I was genuinely nervous- I’d never met another stay-at-home-dad in the flesh before. I’d only ever seen them in movies and read how the government had kept them secret from the public for years.

I was also a little nervous about Max. He’s a very outgoing little guy, but he can get a little too enthusiastic when he sees another kid, or a ball, or a speck of dust. And I was about to let him loose in a room full of kids and balls, but at least it looked dust-free.

So, I introduced Team Dean to the first group of Dads that were already in the Little Gym reception. They all had names and kids, so we already had something in common. And by the time class started we had a good crowd of 18 dads, which was pretty impressive for a weekday. Oh right… I get it now.

The kids all waited impatiently by the gym door for their coach, Miss Jen, to set them free into a huge playroom. There was a little pulling of shirts and jostling for position but as soon as I picked Max up that all miraculously stopped. The door opened and the kids went crazy. Not “sugar-high” crazy, I mean overcome with happiness crazy.

I was obviously still a little nervous about the situation because the first thing we did was to create a circle and go around to introduce ourselves. I am pretty sure I said: “Hi, I’m James and this Max”. Factually and grammatically incorrect but hey, it was a tough question and there was a lot of pressure on me.

But I relaxed when I saw the pure joy written on Max’s face as he navigated his way through the large bright room filled with mats and beams and large padded what’s-their-names. It’s so funny to see New York kids in large spaces. They must have been thinking “Are we in New Jersey? How long was I asleep?”

Miss Jen brilliantly led the group in some interactive games involving some questionable singing by the dads, but it was amazing to see a group of guys enjoying their kids so actively and wholeheartedly.

I realized how strange it must be for Max to be in a room of only dads. Then I remembered he’s 13 months old and how he just wouldn’t care. Just as long as he has a ball. And that I bring him back again soon.

But I cared. And it feels good to know that there are good guys out there, doing the same thing as me. Better even- I mean they probably remember their own name.

Links:
New York City Dads Meetup Group: www.meetup.com/New-York-City-Dads-Meetup-Group/

Little Gym of the Upper West Side: www.thelittlegym.com/UpperWestsideNY

Ezra was able to capture and document one of our most recent dads’ group experiences in this guest blog entry:

On a recent Wednesday afternoon, my 11-month-old daughter Sara and I came down from Riverdale to the Upper East Side to attend a class called “Run, Wiggle, Paint & Giggle” with the NYC Dads Group at a posh children’s venue called Kidville. After changing my mind 10 times on the best way to travel there (do we take the express bus? Drive? Subway and walk across Central Park? Metro North to the subway? How will Sara’s nap schedule affect all this?) we arrived a few minutes early – phew (full disclosure: we drove and lucked into someone pulling out of a sweet parking spot. Very un-urban of us, I know).

Entering what looked like a modest building from the street, we were greeted by a scene I wasn’t prepared for – a bustling and fancy entrance area/cafeteria, with a slew of busy staff members all around us. I’m not sure what it reminded me of, but my initial thought was “Wow, a place like this catering exclusively to little kids could only exist in Manhattan, and maybe LA.” When we took the elevator up to our assigned classroom, my initial impression was confirmed – tons of classrooms and play areas, kids and parents/nannies moving around everywhere, it seemed like the little kids were on real programmed schedules, even though they were all still a few years away from elementary school.

Once our class got started, the dads and kids were greeted by enthusiastic staff, who really took it upon themselves to get down on the floor with the little ones, engage them in a friendly and upbeat manner, and learn all their names, even though we were only there for a one-off demonstration session. Our hour-long class zipped by, as the Kidville staff had us moving from one activity center to another, so if your kid wasn’t into something, no worries – it was only a few minutes until we moved on to something else. In addition to activities we have done before in other venues, such as sitting in a circle for music with a guitar, storytime, dancing, and fun with bubbles, there were also things that Sara was doing for the first time – such as making handprints in a book using an ink pad (a mother’s day present). My nervous expression must have given me away, as the staff soon appeared with wet wipes to get the ink off of the kids’ hands (but not before Sara could get her ink-filled hands on her face and clothing…).

Sara is often reserved and nervous the first time she is in a new situation, and this manifests itself in her being very clingy to her parents. As any other parent who has been in this situation would definitely understand, it was such a relief to see her engage with the staff and other kids and get into a few of the activities offered in this class. But for Sara and many of the other kids, I think the real treat of the day (and when they had the most fun and could really let themselves go) was when we were led from the classroom to one of Kidville’s kiddie gyms, for an hour of playtime in their kid-safe and exciting gym environment. The kids all had a blast playing with the various size balls, climbing all over the gym equipment, going on the padded trampoline, and generally creating a (controlled and supervised) ruckus.

What a great 2 hours we spent at Kidville, seeing the little ones be both challenged developmentally in the classroom setting, and then sharing in the controlled chaos of the gym. Though we don’t have a place like Kidville in our part of the city (and the cost could be prohibitive to some anyway), it was great to see that places like this exist and to be able to spend a few hours with the people of Kidville, and awesome that this venue reached out to partner with us so our Dads Group could experience it together!

One of the cleanest and most impressive indoor play spaces that I have seen in New York resides at Appleseeds, located off the Northwest side of Madison Square Park. Yes, the same park with the famous burger joint, Shake Shack. Our NYC Dads Group were spread out across the different areas of the play space. Appleseeds has an expansive playground including a deli (with play shopping carts and different soft-foam foods), an NYC taxi and apartment building, as well as a Lego area and magnet wall. There was a ton to keep my son busy, but he was fascinated with handing me the different alphabet letters to put up on the magnet wall. There is plenty to keep your kid busy, and the space allows you to see your child from almost any vantage point.

My sons and I have participated in many baby/toddler/pre-school gym classes over the last four years, and our experience has been mixed. The best classes we have taken are ones in which the instructor has an understanding of a child’s physical development and uses that knowledge to plan activities that are purposeful. The worst classes, though led with effort and energy, have been open-play time with kids running wild between apparatuses and very little meaningful instruction.

With these experiences in mind, I was eager to visit the The Little Gym on the Upper West Side with my seven-month old, Sam, and our NYC Dads Meetup Group. Here are my thoughts on our experience:

The Space: The gym is located on the second floor above Fairway and is accessible by stairs and an elevator. The front desk/waiting area is spacious and can accommodate several large strollers. The gym is very large and filled with mats and various pieces of equipment for all ages. The room is filled with natural light and cooled down after we opened a few windows. The restroom is equipped with a changing table.

The Staff: The staff was very inviting and helpful. I spilled some of Sam’s milk when I was preparing his bottle before the class and the person at the front desk was quick to help out with a paper towel. Our instructor, Leah, was engaging and able to adapt to the wide range of ages in our group (3 months to 2 1/2 years). I got the sense that she had been trained in childhood physical development.

The Class: The class started with a welcome song that included bells that all the kids seemed to enjoy. Leah cranked up the music and led us in some activities that each of us could do with our children. We walked, we rolled, we danced, we sang. Next, Leah brought out a parachute and led us in a few more activities. After the parachute, Leah allowed us to explore the space with our kids. She also brought out a few pieces of equipment meant for younger kids and showed us how to use those. From my perspective, she was able to work with each of us individually and she was great about telling us what she was doing, why she was doing it, and how it would benefit our children. Finally, she gathered the group together and we sang a good-bye song (surprisingly, one that I had never heard!). When I first saw the space, I was worried that the instruction would be focused on the gym equipment, and would therefore not be relevant for Sam. I was very happy, however, that all of these activities were very fun for the dads and kids of all ages.

Overall Impression: This was definitely one of the better gym class experiences I’ve had. The team has found the right balance between fun that will keep your child engaged and meaningful instruction that will benefit your child’s physical development.

On a rainy day a few months ago, this NYC Stay at Home Dad decided to test out the babysitting service in the kids’ playroom at the local NY Sports Club. Big mistake! I “strolled” into the gym around 10 a.m., and went directly to the kids’ playroom with my son, who had just woke up from a short nap. I was pleased to find two babysitters in the playroom and only 3 other kids – great ratio of 1 to 2! I asked the sitter what their rate was per hour and how their program works. Basically, they accept kids as early as 3 months old, you sign your name/address on a sheet, sign a waiver, accept the bargain fee of $5.00/hr, and can use their service for up to 2 hours. Other important information: the babysitter will not change diapers, and will find you in the gym if your baby starts to cry. I handed the babysitter a blanket for tummy time and told them how much my son loved being in the Exersaucer. I know my son’s temperament, and his ability to entertain himself on a playmat or in an Exersaucer for an extended period of time, so I was positive that this would work out for me once or twice a week.  

I lasted about 20 minutes on the treadmill before I saw the babysitter’s reflection in the mirror behind me, waving her arms, and telling me my “baby is crying.” I returned to the playroom to find my son in screaming tantrum mode (a rarity). Bottom line: he was in his stroller seat, with no toys for 20 minutes – he was bored. They would not put him on the playmat because two older kids were around and they worried about his safety. They would not put him in the Exersaucer because he was not 7 months old yet (he was 2 days away). Those were their rules and they were sticking to them. I guess they were telling me that they expected my son to sit in the stroller like a ‘perfect angel’ during my hour workout – fat chance! I have seen playrooms at their Long Island locations that look newer, more spacious, and filled with lots of new toys. I have not returned to the gym during the day since that incident almost 2 months ago. I am interested to hear if anyone has had a positive/negative experience like this?