There’s a lot to juggle when it comes to parenting. Hitting the gym for a workout quickly drops on the priority list when it comes to your children’s needs. Some simple fitness tips to help busy parents get back on track would surely be welcome, right?

It would. A 2014 study from the University of Pittsburgh concluded that new parents not only are less physically active than singles or married couples without children but also that they took a steeper, deeper fall into a sedentary lifestyle.

No matter how busy our schedules, it’s important we moms and dads remind ourselves that staying in shape doesn’t just benefit us. It benefits our children as well. Improving your health through regular exercise is one of the best ways to ensure you’re able to keep up with your active children (and their busy schedules) and able to be there for them for years to come.

Here are some fitness tips to help overwhelmed parents get on the healthy track:

Simple fitness tips for busy parents

1. A little exercise can go a long way, mom and dad

Starting a new exercise routine is daunting, especially if you haven’t been active in awhile. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and discouraged early on. People, parents or not, tend to try to do too much after doing too little for an extended period of time. The most important of these fitness tips, especially when starting out, is to focus on just doing SOMETHING:

• Go for a short walk.
• If you have stairs, make two trips up and down every time you use them instead of one.
• Try the “repetitive habit” trick. For example, do five pushups and five bodyweight squats every time you use the restroom throughout the workday.

It may not seem like much, but these little efforts will add up over time.

2. Strive for consistency — it’s an exercise “routine,” after all

One of the best ways for parents to build healthy habits is to set up a fitness routine that works for their schedule.

If you typically take lunch at the same time every day, plan for a short walk or jog during that time. If your schedule is more random, plan an exercise routine for your days off or free time.

Remember the core principle of the fitness tip above: You don’t have to do a lot to be effective. Small and consistent improvements over time will help you achieve your goals.

3. Focus on the now, not your past

Like many parents, I was extremely active for most of my life before having children. When I started refocusing on my personal fitness again, I was plagued with memories of what I used to be able to do. Don’t get weighed down with how much you once could bench, how far you used to run, or how many days a week you used to be able to exercise. Instead, focus on what you’re doing now, and what you can continue to do in the future. It may not be at the same level, but it can still be more than enough.

BONUS FITNESS TIP: Get the whole family involved

Fitness doesn’t have to be a solo journey. There are tons of activities that involve the entire family, such as hikes, bike riding or even just playing around in the backyard.

Even if your kids or spouse are not directly participating in the activity you are doing, they can still be a part of your fitness routine. If you exercise at home, set up a play space nearby where your children can hang out during your workout. If part of your workout is timed, teach your children to use a stopwatch to help you.

Overall, it helps to keep a clear focus on why fitness is important as a parent. It’ll help ensure you remain an active participant in your children’s lives for as long as possible.

Fitness tips for busy parents photo: ©LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS / Adobe Stock.

“Dad, why are they called ‘wisdom’ teeth?”

My younger daughter, Lindsay, recently asked this question, since she had just been told hers needed to be removed. Through some research I learned a common explanation is that unlike humans’ 6-year molars and 12-year molars, “third molars” arrive around age 17-25, when we are “wiser” than we were as children.

Granted, today we do not associate late teenhood with wisdom. In fact, wisdom teeth are vestigial organs that have become functionless due to evolution. Centuries ago, late teenhood was more like midlife. And during that time, our ancestors needed third molars to chew rough plants and raw meat before the human diet gradually softened and food became more processed. Today, it is wise for most people — like my daughter — to have their functionless wisdom teeth removed while their roots are small and not well-established.

While reading about the “wisdom” of removing these molars, the parent in me could not help thinking it’s also wise for families to remove habits that become functionless (or even counterproductive) over time. The key is noticing when a family habit, however useful or well-intentioned at first, is ready for removal from family life before it becomes too rooted.

“Family bed” falls out of fashion, literally

One of our vestigial family habits that had to be removed became apparent many years ago. My older daughter, Lauren, was 15 months old and not a good sleeper. Out of sympathy for her (and utter frustration with sleeplessness), my wife, Michele, and I had started to allow Lauren into our bed on some nights so we could all sleep a few more hours.

Our reluctant “family bed” routine quickly ended, however, with an incident that foreshadowed our radically different approaches to discipline. Michele and I were just coming to consciousness one morning when I felt Lauren slowly slipping off the bed near my knee. This was especially alarming given that our bed was high off the floor — a hardwood floor.

Fortunately, I woke up just in time to lunge for Lauren’s leg and grab her by the ankle before she finished her plummet. As I held Lauren’s ankle and began to lift her back on the bed, Michele, who had just bolted up and witnessed my save, declared: “That’s it! We have to get a bed rail on this bed.”

To which I retorted: “No! We need to get this kid back into her own bed.”

As we made our way down to breakfast, I teased Michele for her vision of an enormous rail-encircled bed. But our laughing stopped when Michele noticed chips in two of Lauren’s lower front teeth. She was not in pain, but my seemingly heroic ankle-grab had not stopped Lauren from hitting her teeth on our bed frame.

The sight of those teeth confirmed that it was time to extract our family bed routine from our lives. We had literally outgrown the family bed, much like ancestral wisdom teeth exceed the capacity of contemporary mouths. Enlarging our bed (or mouths) was not an option, at least in my mind.

Family habit check-up can prevent future problems

The road to an oral surgeon for wisdom teeth removal begins with a dentist’s referral after a check-up. Ideally, parents should try to perform similar “family check-ups” that identify when an old, no-longer-useful habit should be removed before its deepening roots make extraction more difficult.

Such a check-up would include a review of as many family habits as possible. For example, are children’s chores and roles around the house still age-appropriate? Are some still necessary, or have they outlived their usefulness? Are children taking on new responsibilities as they outgrow old ones?

In my case, the daughter who once fell out of our bed is now a young adult. Vestigial habits in need of removal, however, continue to surface sometimes. For example, when she first started driving, I filled the car with gas regularly so she could focus on the road and not worry about gas. But my ancestral brain recently thought: Why am I still doing this? She has been driving for several years and is perfectly capable of getting gas on her own. And, she does now thanks to my surgical removal of that habit.

From the family bed to the family car, try to pay attention as your family’s habits evolve. Sometimes the wisest habit is noticing when it’s time for a change.

Photo: © skif / Adobe Stock.

Did your family make a New Year’s resolution this month? Probably not, since we tend to think of resolutions as individual endeavors. But that may be the reason so many resolutions fail, as Charles Duhigg explains in his bestselling The Power of Habit.

To change a bad family habit or reinforce a good one, we first need to know how habits operate. Duhigg writes “habits emerge because the brain is constantly looking for ways to save effort … without habit loops, our brains would shut down, overwhelmed by the minutiae of daily life.”

In fact, nearly half the actions we perform each day are not decisions, but habits that have become automatic — e.g., brushing one’s teeth or driving a car. That is why it’s so important to learn those habits in healthy ways before they become rooted.

Significantly, an individual is often more successful at changing a bad habit (or reinforcing a good habit) when he or she is part of a group. Duhigg explains: “If you want to change a habit, you must find an alternative routine, and your odds of success go up dramatically when you commit to changing as part of a group. Belief is essential, and it grows out of a communal experience, even if that community is only as large as two people.”

On a large group scale, examples of successful habit changes include the rise of seat belt users, designated drivers and nonsmokers. On a smaller group scale, habit changers like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous come to mind. On an even smaller group scale, the family can serve as an effective habit changer or reinforcer.

Change of family habits done easier together

To illustrate, I will apply some of Duhigg’s observations to one of my own family habits, especially since my two children are now teenagers. Hopefully my story can encourage parents of younger children who may be in the throes of trying to establish good family habits.

While our family certainly has some bad habits, one of our good habits is that our daughters sleep in their bedrooms without their cell phones. When my older daughter started college and lived away from home for the first time, she was thankful that it was easy to continue ignoring her phone after bedtime, using an alarm clock for waking, and protecting her sleep every night. But that family habit — and the whole family’s belief in its value — did not come easy.

The first important decision for parents about cell phones involves what age they feel is appropriate for kids to have one. We decided on age 12, though each family has different circumstances. Next, it’s important to establish cell phone rules on day one. Some can be negotiable, but my two main ones were no phones at meals or in the bedrooms during sleeping hours.

In those early days, you might say my wife and I were the only “believers” in such phone habits and the importance of a good night’s sleep. I certainly had to enforce a rule sometimes, but there were also moments when I learned to empathize with my daughters. For example, one morning I picked up one of my daughters’ phones and saw a surprising amount of notifications sent at all hours of the night! That showed me the peer pressure she was enduring, and after that I understood why she spent so much time on her phone in the morning “catching up” on all she had missed.

In addition to fostering a healthy habit from the start, parents need to be ready for future challenges to a habit. As Duhigg states, “what you need is a plan.” One of our biggest challenges came during sleepovers, when my daughters’ friends often had a range of family phone policies. Gradually, we negotiated a compromise in which everyone could keep their phones up to a specific time, but then my wife or I would collect and store the phones until morning.

This policy was not always well-received. But years later one of my daughters’ friends told us she actually looked forward to that habitual phone-confiscation because then everyone focused on hanging out in-person rather than online. Paired with my daughter’s grateful comment about college, her sentiment made all the work on (and gradual belief in) our family cell phone habit worth it.

Duhigg explains that such a habit is sometimes called a “keystone” habit, or one that is so foundational that it often leads to other habits. So in the new year, think about what your family’s “keystone” habits might be — both the good and the bad. Then consider making a family resolution to work as a group to change a bad one, or maybe better yet, reinforce a good one.

Photo: © NDABCREATIVITY  / Adobe Stock.

I grew up on food stamps and welfare. I have no shame admitting that and I learned quickly at a young age the power of having and saving money.

School didn’t teach me a damn thing about money. My dad, my experiences and books did that for me. Now I’m using what I learned to help my kids learn about cash without making it boring.

Earn it early

I don’t like the idea of having my kids clean or help around the house for cash. I feel it conveys the wrong message. I want them doing chores because it’s part of life not because they are going to get some money from me.

However, I do respect that it works for many. It even worked for my dad.

I reward my children for good grades in school, and so far it’s working for them. Bring me a couple of 3’s and 4’s you might get a dollar, bring me a grade I don’t like and you lose everything including the PlayStation!

Very simple but very effective once you turn it into a habit. Key word: HABIT!

Let them use the ATM

Since my son was 7, he has been able to use an ATM. I made a habit of taking him with me to the bank to make our monthly tenant deposits. I let him swipe the card, input the password, everything.

I didn’t do it to teach him about money. I actually did it because I thought it was cool to see a 7-year-old using an ATM. It paid off with lessons I had no idea he would be willing to learn.

My son looks forward to putting money in the bank now. It makes him feel grown. By doing this at least once a month, my son learned that the machine could do more than just give him money to spend and that was a huge lesson.

Letting him use the ATM also put him in position to ask questions about money. Make it an experience, make it a habit, your kids will love you for it and they will learn from it.

Let them pay, even if it’s with your money

Another great way to teach your kids about money is having them pay for goods you purchased.

The first time I saw this was with my wife. We were at a supermarket and I saw her give my then 7-year-old her credit card to pay for our groceries. I looked at her like she was crazy but wanted to see what would happen.

The cashier told my little man to swipe the card and offered to help him. My son said “no, thank you,” looked at the picture and slid the card correctly. He even signed my wife’s initials. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t get to use my dad’s credit card until I was 19, and here was my 7-year-old telling me that for each transaction we were getting points on our card.

Now as he gets older, he sees spending a little differently. If he thinks something costs way more than it did the last time, he has no problem telling us that we shouldn’t get it.

Once again that wasn’t the plan. The plan was to have a third set of hands at the supermarket to help us and keep him entertained. By having him pay for everything himself, the lessons poured in without us having to force them on him.

Keep it real

We all want to spoil our kids rotten! What if you don’t have it like that? Do you hide it or speak on it?

I have absolutely no shame telling my kids our current financial status and neither should you. This is how we really educate them on money and spending. There are times when my son will tell me he wants new sneakers because his best friend got a new pair. I had to shut him down and tell him, “I can get you sneakers every month but, if I do that, you won’t be able to do basketball, go to the movies with your friends nor do cool things like Chuck E Cheese and Disney.”

It has taught him how to identify what experiences or gifts are important to him. What’s even crazier is that because of this thinking, he feels he is spoiled. He gets to do the things he really wants to do without us having to go broke and has learned to take a “no” in stride.

Kids are smart. Try to keep it as real as possible with them, no matter your net worth. They are already spoiled by having a cool dad like you, that’s a big win itself, don’t you forget it!

You are their main example

Your kids want to be like you, so if you are financially irresponsible chances are they will be the same. You can still spoil yourself a bit; however, that’s not an invitation to go for broke every chance you get. That’s not the lesson we want our kids learning.

Start small; make good choices while your kids are around you especially when shopping. Identify good deals on things you actually need. It doesn’t sound like much but always doing this will build good habits for your child and even yourself.

Think of all the things you wish your parents taught you about money and find ways to incorporate that into your family’s life. I’m not a financial guru; chances are you’re not a guru either but that shouldn’t stop you from learning and passing those lessons to your kids.

Every father should remember one day his child will follow his example, not his advice.

A version of this first appeared on Cool4Dads.

Ten years ago this summer, we moved to the suburbs. We left the city for the typical reasons. My wife and I decided we needed more space. We thought the boys should have a backyard. And we had no intention of drinking past 10.

In many ways, we’ve adapted very nicely to the suburbs. The boys play in the backyard. My wife loves planting and killing flowers. I’m happy to have a driveway.

Yes, despite my casual complaints and periodic yearnings for the city, I think moving to the suburbs has worked out for my family and me. I’d even say we’ve adapted nicely. We appreciate the hum of crickets, bunnies running around freely, and the thrill of the UPS delivery.

However, there are some ways in which my family – well, me in particular – has not adjusted to the suburbs. So on that, here are six reasons why I still don’t belong in the suburbs.

1. I don’t own a grill

Not an in-ground, electric, or even a hibachi. You ever walk around the suburbs around 5 p.m. on a weekend in the summer? I guarantee you smell someone grilling faster than can say “white picket fence.” However, you won’t be sniffing or rubbing your eyes from the smoke by my house. No barbecue here and no interest. Shoot, we don’t even have a deck to put it on.

2. I’m uncomfortable buying in bulk

Advertisements such as “48 rolls of toilet paper for $14.99” send people scurrying. Customers bring multiple shopping carts and are disappointed when they see the limit is three packages. Seriously, why the hell does anybody need that much freakin’ toilet paper? You know, just because you have the storage space doesn’t mean you have to fill it. Nah, I’ll stick to the 4 pack. Or maybe go crazy and buy the 8-pack.

3. Our house doesn’t have an addition

Nor do we plan on adding one.  Yes, thankfully, we have equity in our house. Yes, I know rates are still low, traditionally speaking. Sure, I wouldn’t mind a bigger house, but instead of competing against the neighbors to see who has the biggest house, I’m simply going to live in mine.

4. We don’t own a minivan or an SUV

We have a Honda Accord. That’s it (I know one car – roughing it). While picking up the boys at camp or attending a school event, it’s hard not to look around, notice, and then wonder, “Does size matter?” Does everyone really need a huge car to schlep around their 2.1 kids? There’s only one time a year I want a bigger car and that’s when we drive toward our rented vacation home for one week. The boys are squished and even have had to carry suitcases on their laps. I feel bad then about the size of the car. But it passes and therefore, I’ll pass on the minivan.

5. I don’t go to the mall

It’s not a rule or anything but I have no interest in going to a mall. We have a huge mall near us – hey, we live in Jersey – with many top stores. One could buy everything they need – clothes, furniture, electronics, kitchenware, linens. And then there are the three wings – under one massive roof. Nah. Not for me. In fact, if the movie theater wasn’t in the mall, I don’t think I’d ever go there. Well, one day, 30 years from now, maybe my wife and I will walk around the mall as a form of exercise. For now, the mall holds no interest for me.

6. I mow my own lawn – standing up

While I do hate mowing my medium-sized lawn, I can’t imagine how doing so while sitting down on a tractor would make it more pleasant. Now, if they put a television on the tractor, I might reconsider.  Sorry, Mr. Gardener – I could use the exercise and soon the boys will take over.

So, does this make my family and I outsiders? Hmm, maybe we could drive to a destination a couple of blocks away and turn our noses up when someone suggests we actually walk. Walk? Nah, who walks? We’re suburbanites.

A version of this first appeared on Me, Myself and My Kids.

We walked through the store at the Bronx Zoo and sat my son’s pacifier on the shelf. Gripping his new stuffed gorilla tightly and sporting a quivering lower lip, he waved goodbye to the thing that had comforted him on so many nights and so many upsetting moments.

With a sad heart, I too turned my back on my old comforting friend and walked toward the cash register.

If you have a child using a pacifier, you know it can be the greatest tool in your parental utility belt. But all good things must end. Overuse of pacifiers can cause dental issues down the line or even delay speech. That and nobody wants their kid to be the one showing up to his first day of school sucking on a Binky.

All three of my kids used a pacifier. My oldest loved it so much that he would later steal his baby sister’s. He would stash extras around the house in secret hiding spaces so that he always had one nearby. He even came up with a name for his — “Papoo.” I’m not sure why he called it that, but he did so often that my other kids, family, close friends and neighbors adopted the term. We finally broke him of the habit by concocting an elaborate story about how the crows at my mother’s house had swooped in and taken the pacifiers for their own little babies.

How we broke the pacifier habit

I tried breaking my first two children of their addiction early but with my third, it was different. Baby No. 3 was going to be our last, and every day I feel like I’m saying goodbye to another aspect of his tiny years. He potty-trained early, so he’s been out of diapers for a while, and even though he’s only two, he prefers his bike to a stroller. We’ll soon stop his nighttime bottle, and then that will be it. There will not be anything left of his babyhood.

The time, though, had finally come. That is how we found ourselves at the Bronx Zoo gift shop. It was important to me that the Papoo be replaced by something special, something he (and I) could hold onto. With help from his older brother and sister, we let our youngest pick his favorite, a stuffed gorilla. I stood nearby trying to control my own quivering lip.

I was saying goodbye, not just to a pacifier, but to Papoo. An affectionate term for an item of great affection. A symbol of my child’s baby years. Something that brought peaceful moments in the midst of frustrating and sad times.

Every passing day is a day that I can no longer share or relive with my toddler. I get emotional about these things. I cry when I sort the clothes they grow out of and sit misty-eyed looking back through Facebook pictures. I love being a dad of big kids, but I also love being a dad of little ones. To think that soon I will no longer experience life through a young child’s eyes saddens me. And all that was brought on by waving goodbye to a pacifier … a Papoo.

A version of this post first ran on One Good Dad.