The first month of the year is not just January – it’s also Veganuary. The idea is simple: don’t eat any foods derived from animals for 31 days.

What began as an idea from a British husband and wife in 2014 has grown into an annual international phenomenon. During 2022, an estimated 620,000 people participated, and the United Kingdom-based Veganuary charity hopes to grow its participation each year.

Why am I telling you this? I’m a vegan dad raising vegan children. And Veganuary is the perfect time to explain why it’s a lifestyle worth considering.

Eleven and half years ago, I was on a first date with a sexy redhead. I was enjoying a bacon cheeseburger. When she only ordered a salad, I flirted by saying she didn’t need to stick to salad as she was so slim. Well, it turned out she was vegan. I was embarrassed, to say the least, though the date wasn’t blown … in fact, I ended up marrying her a year and a half later.

My wife, Rachel, never pressured me to change my diet. She did, however, explain why she was vegan herself. It broke down into three main topics.

Veganism can mean better health

Veganism, when properly planned to incorporate a diverse variety of plant and fortified foods, is healthier. There are many misconceptions about it, though. One of the most common is that vegans suffer from protein deficiency. High protein can be found in many plant sources including beans, soy, whole wheat and nuts. It’s all a matter of regularly incorporating them into your diet.

Another misconception centers around “fake meats” which have grown more common every year. I’ll be blunt. That stuff is delicious, but no one says it’s healthy. It’s essentially vegan junk food. While a Beyond burger may possibly be better for the environment, I’m still only eating those ultra-processed foods on rare occasions. In general, I stick to what’s called a “whole foods plant-based diet,” which is more diverse in food choices, far healthier and more sustainable long-term.

No animals are harmed

This is the original impetus for many people who go vegan. Obviously, if you care about animals, it is better to not eat them, wear them or otherwise profit from their deaths. Dairy and eggs might seem less harmful at first glance, but the animals are often kept in factory-like conditions, force-fed and artificially inseminated repeatedly to keep those products flowing. The more you start to wrap your head around where the animal products you consume come from, the more uncomfortable it feels.

Better for the environment

This is an important part of veganism for many. One study, from Oxford University, claims that going vegan is the “single biggest way” to reduce a person’s carbon footprint. The study argues that carbon use decreases by nearly three-quarters when living a vegan lifestyle since every step of the omnivore process emits greenhouse gasses: Forests are cleared for animals, food is transported to feed them, refrigeration is used to store meat, and so on. The Washington Post recently investigated the destruction of the Amazon rainforest and cites American demand for beef as the chief catalyst of the deforestation there.

Why try Veganuary?

Now you understand some of the reasons for trying veganism. But why now? How can you start? And what should you watch out for?

Veganuary is the perfect opportunity to try veganism. And switching to a plant-based diet has never been easier. You can order vegan options beyond just salads at many restaurants, including fast-food chains. Many supermarkets have plant-based sections with alternatives to meat, cheese and milk. And frankly, those vegan versions have never been tastier. I’ve been vegan for eight years, and am astounded at how fast the industry has changed, both in terms of quality and quantity available.

Yet, pitfalls also exist. The simplest way to go vegan is to switch all your current meals for vegan versions, but that’s not always the best choice. If you eat a lot of meat and chicken, for example, switching to plant-based processed alternatives won’t necessarily be your healthiest move. These versions sometimes have as many, if not more, calories, saturated fat and sodium as their animal counterparts. Plus, you’ll probably get tired of them after a month. Now, don’t deny yourself a few good “fake” burgers or nuggets, but move past them. Mix up your meals and your proteins. Look up some recipes. Try a chili with only beans, corn, tomatoes and spices. Cook up a curry with tofu. Barbeque some tempeh.

Rising vegan children

Parenting a vegan child has its own challenges, and we are raising two of them. I fully admit my own kids eat way more vegan nuggets and protein bars than I’d prefer, but we do what works. They’re healthy and happy kids.

The hardest part is birthday parties, traveling, and other parents. My best advice: Bring your food with you. Also, use the app HappyCow to search out vegan options on the road and at restaurants. Make sure your children get a selection of fruits, carbs, veggies and protein sources every day.

We still get odd looks and occasional jokes from neighbors, but I’m proud to be a vegan dad. And I encourage others to try it.

Photo: © Mara Zemgaliete / Adobe Stock.

My daughter has never eaten a hamburger. Or pizza. Or chicken nuggets. In fact, she’s never had a smorgasbord of foods most 8-year-olds devour with abandon: grilled cheese, hot dogs, spaghetti, mac and cheese, and — my personal favorite — tacos. Who doesn’t love a good taco?

Oh sure, she may sniff, touch, and occasionally lick these foods. But to actually bite, chew, and swallow it? Well, that’s just asking too much.

My daughter is more than just a picky eater. She’s what feeding experts call a “resistant eater.” This means she eats just 10 to 15 foods (or fewer), limits her food groups (to mostly carbs), and often expresses disapproval, sometimes with a harrumph, over the presence of a new food on her plate.

This food fussiness stems from my daughter’s autism, which makes her uncomfortable with changes in routine. Adding to it is a sensory processing disorder (SPD), a neurological condition that causes difficulties with processing information from the five senses: taste, sight, touch, smell and hearing.

The SPD manifests as a preference for snacks with a crunchy texture and bold flavor. For her, these are smoked Gouda Triscuits, barbeque quinoa chips, cheddar Pringles, and, her mainstay, white cheddar popcorn. The autism appears as a need for certain foods to always be the same brand. I once bought my daughter SkinnyPop white cheddar popcorn instead of the usual Smartfood brand because it was on sale. When I pulled the popcorn from the grocery bag, she took one look at the unfamiliar green and white packaging and uttered, “No, Daddy.”

Fussy eating appears during solid food introduction

While there are no reliable statistics on the feeding and eating problems of autistic children, one widely reported study found they are five times more likely to face mealtime challenges — from narrow food selection to rigid eating behaviors — than their typically developing peers.

When my daughter was diagnosed as autistic in 2017, shortly before her third birthday, I focused less on what went into her mouth and more on what was coming out of it — hardly any discernible words. I didn’t know much about the connection between autism and eating habits.

My daughter’s unique palette and pickiness began to emerge at 6 months old. This was when my wife first introduced her to solid food: yogurt, apple sauce, assorted baby foods, cereal, pears (which always ended up on the floor), and even pico de gallo (she apparently liked the light kick of jalapeño).

There was the occasional bite of a pork chop here, a forkful of blueberry pancake there. But, as our daughter grew older, she never really took to eating a broad variety of foods. At 13 months she consistently drank milk from a sippy cup, and that was only after my wife successfully transitioned her from formula in a bottle — a change our daughter mightily resisted.

To ensure our daughter got the proper helping of nutrients, my wife started mixing the milk with varieties of Naked Juice, a brand of fruit and vegetable smoothies. That eventually evolved into a blend of Naked Juice and Greek yogurt (packed with protein and probiotics) for her school lunches. I jokingly refer to these smoothie blends as the “Elixir of Life” because without them I’m certain our daughter wouldn’t be thriving or hitting her growth and weight targets. In my daughter’s words, “Smoothies are very tasty at lunch and recess.”

Still, getting your child to eat shouldn’t be this complicated.

Strategies for combating a resistant eater

Doctors confirmed our daughter didn’t have swallowing or gastrointestinal issues, but that didn’t relieve my constant worry about her nutritional intake. Can she continue to thrive on such a limited diet? Am I packing enough food in her lunch box to last the school day? Will she ever outgrow these food aversions?

I reached out to my daughter’s therapists for tips and advice. Through them, I learned just how complicated the act of eating is. It involves 26 muscles, eight sensory systems, six cranial nerves to chew and swallow, and engages every organ in your body. As speech-language pathologist Judy McCrary Koeppen notes in The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism: “Eating is a multisensory experience. Each mouthful brings the possibility of a variety of flavors, textures, and temperatures.”

Whatever you do, they said, never withhold food or physically force a child to eat. That will only make things worse for a resistant eater, a picky eater or any child.

So we began with “food chaining.” You start with a child’s preferred food and gradually “chain” together similar foods with slight changes or variations until you get to the new food. For example, go from chips to crackers to crackers with a sweet topping to chocolate pudding. We did the best we could. Our lack of time and patience, though, caused us to abandon this tactic.

Then we tried bribery. Our daughter could earn iPad screen time if she tried a new food. It worked for a few weeks (I recall her taking bites of broccoli and salmon), but her motivation waned.

We knew consistency would be key to overcoming the limitations of our resistant eater. We worked with our daughter’s behavioral therapist to add a feeding component to her therapy sessions. Three times a week my wife and I pack a new (or less preferred) food for the therapist to try with our daughter. Eating is the goal, but touching and licking the food also counts as success.

Every time the therapist reports our daughter actually ate something new, I do a happy dance. So far she’s taken a liking to baby carrots, apple slices, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When you’re the parent of a resistant eater, you celebrate every victory, no matter how small.

Sharing a meal socially helps

My wife and I build on our daughter’s progress at home by offering her the same food we’re eating, even if we think she’ll refuse it.

My Italian sausage lasagna? Nope.

My wife’s savory beef chili? Declined.

One day my wife offered her rice with salted butter. She ate it and asked for it again later that month. The week before that, our daughter requested orange juice. My wife and I looked at each other with an expression that read, “Who’s child is this?”

With each bite of new food, our daughter is maturing as an eater. Just as some people are social drinkers, we’re learning our daughter is a social eater. She’s a bubbly chatterbox now and loves participating in occasions that involve food — birthday parties, holiday dinners, family outings. She just happens to bring her own smoothies and snacks to the table.

Last autumn a friend invited us over for dinner with his family. I warned him my daughter may not eat what was served. When the chicken lettuce wraps arrived at the table, to my amazement, she grabbed one and took a few bites before retreating to her snack tote. Months earlier, at a dinner party, she casually snacked on tortilla chips and mixed nuts like it was no big deal. But indeed, it was.

I used to think my daughter, as a resistant eater, was missing out on moments because she was missing out on the food. That’s because my own childhood memories are intertwined with the scents and tastes of dishes prepared with love. The gooey and decadent German chocolate cake my mother made. The tangy sweet peach cobbler with the gloriously buttery crust baked by my grandmother. My great-grandmother’s New Year’s Day meal of collard greens, black-eyed peas, and cornbread for good luck in the new year.

I’m realizing that as long as my daughter is connecting with the people around the table, she’ll never miss out on love, joy, and laughter even if she is munching from a different menu.

She’ll join in when she’s ready.

One of the many universal struggles we parents go through with our kids is getting them to eat diverse and healthy meals. Life, after all, has more and better things to offer than just chicken nuggets and boxed mac and cheese.

Help is here for many moms and dads with the arrival of The Adventurous Eaters Club: Mastering the Art of Family Mealtime, a new family cookbook by actor Misha Collins of TV’s Supernatural and his wife, Vicki.

The book, available starting today, tells the Collins’ story of struggling to get their firstborn to eat more than than the usual heavily processed, pre-packaged foods most of us default to when we are in a hurry and or children become stubborn about what they will and won’t eat. That all changed, they write, when they decided to play into a child’s natural curiosity and eagerness to play and explore.

“When my wife and I first became parents, feeding our kids was a struggle. Every meal was a battle — and we usually lost. It was all about convenience. We were exhausted, overwhelmed parents in survival mode,” Collins says. “But when our toddler hid some unauthorized, unusual groceries in our shopping cart and we let him cook us dinner with these ingredients, it opened our eyes to another path — one that reinvented our family’s relationship with food forever. This cookbook is the story of that transformation and how healthy food became a source of joy, adventure, laughter, and connection.”

This new attitude made making meals and snacks an adventure in the supermarket and kitchen with their child in the starring roles. This, the Collins write, led their children to broaden their palate and view food not only as a something to fill their bellies but as something to truly enjoy and celebrate.

The Adventurous Eaters Club combines personal anecdotes and tips with more than 100 creative recipes that even small children can prepare on their own or with a little assistance. The cookbook aims to make family mealtime fun and nutritious away from convenience foods and into a wide variety of items they will be excited to try and return to.

Your kid doesn’t like vegetables? Try serving her a medley of colorful, cut up veggies in a martini glass topped with a cookie and a little drink umbrella.

Making food fun, and letting children have pride and ownership in what they create in the kitchen are among the tips and tricks members of our Twin Cities Dads Group gave a local Minnesota television station on a special cooking segment in March.

Watch the whole thing and learn from Chris Brandenburg, John Francis and Keith Nagel (who brought along his two sons, Logan and Sawyer):

Got a kid who is a picky eater or just a handful at mealtimes? Here’s are 51 easy steps to help get your child to eat at your next dinner:

1. Start cooking a healthy dinner for your family.

2. Remember your child refuses to come within five feet of one ingredient you used in the dinner and child will use their special abilities to sense that ingredient.

3. Throw chicken nuggets in the microwave for your child to eat instead.

4. Call your family to dinner.

5. Call your child to dinner.

6. Put food on the table.

7. Call your child to dinner.

8. Ask your child where his pants are and tell him he can’t come to the dinner table with no pants on.

9. Tell your child to go wash his hands.

10. Dish up plates being careful not to let any food even give the appearance as if it has touched any other food.

11. Bite your tongue when your child says he doesn’t like dinner before he actually know what it is.

12. Sit down with your family to eat.

13. Tell your child to go wash his hands with soap this time.

14. Tell your child to sit down and eat.

15. Go get your child the “correct” superhero cup to drink out of.

16. Say a silent prayer begging for your child to actually eat dinner this time.

17. Think about taking your first bite of food.

18. Tell your child to sit down and eat.

19. Go get washcloth to clean up spill on the table.

20. Tell your child he can’t have seconds until he eats his vegetables.

21. Go get dog to clean up vegetables on the floor.

22. Think about taking your first bite of food again.

23. Tell your children to stop touching each other.

24. Remind your child that he ate the same vegetable two days ago and loved it.

25. Threaten to show your child video evidence of him eating the same vegetable two days ago and loving it.

26. Take first bite of lukewarm food.

27. Tell your child that he isn’t done with dinner after three bites and may not be excused.

28. Tell your child to sit down and eat.

29. Ask your family what their favorite part of the day was.

30. Tell your child that stealing the toy from his sister doesn’t count.

31. Reassure your child that the microscopic spot on the vegetables is not poisonous.

32. Go heat up your food in the microwave.

33. Tell your child that he won’t get dessert if he doesn’t finish his dinner.

34. When your child asks what is for dessert, respond that it’s a surprise.

35. Search around for something resembling a dessert that you hadn’t planned on serving.

36. Find hidden stash of leftover Halloween candy from 2012 for dessert.

37. Tell yourself that your dinner is just as good cold as it would have been hot.

38. Open vegetable negotiations with your child.

39. Make mental note to Google “how to register for debate classes at local college.”

40. Wipe away tears on face from intense negotiations.

41. Wipe child’s face as well.

42. Decide your child must eat four out of seven pieces of vegetables.

43. Go get candy and put it on a plate by your child as motivation.

44. Go to mental happy place when child starts gagging.

45. Resort to feeding your child like a baby with airplane noises included.

46. After three pieces of vegetables, realize it will take approximately 2 hours and 47 minutes for them to eat the last bite.

47. Let your child have half the dessert, convince yourself it’s a victory for you, and have him get ready for bed.

48. Eat the other half of dessert yourself.

49. Tell yourself you will have more willpower tomorrow.

50. Open up a bottle of wine and pour yourself a glass.

51. Put glass aside and drink straight from the bottle instead.

There you have it. Dinnertime is so much easier now, right? Just remember, “This too shall pass.” Or so people who don’t have small children at meals like to tell you. Which steps did I forget? Let me know in the comments below!

A version of this first appeared on Lunchbox Dad.

Photo credit: PublicDomainPictures.net

Maybe some of you have a picky eater in the house. My daughter will try most things, but my 4-year-old son has a new reason every day for why he won’t eat. To borrow a line from the movie A Christmas Story, “My son works in reasons why he won’t eat the way other artists might work in oils or clay. He’s a true master.”

Here are 39 reasons why my son won’t eat dinner:

1. I don’t want a baby spoon.
2. This spoon is too big.
3. Mommy makes it better.
4. Oranges are scary.
5. Pasta is scary.
6. I want a big boy cup.
7. I spilled my drink.
8. Water is scary.
9. Daddy makes it better.
10. Cantaloupe makes my lips tingle.
11. This plain pasta with butter is too spicy.
12. I’m tired, can I be done?
13. I only like blue carrots.
14. I’m not tired anymore I just want dessert!
15. I’m not hungry for dinner, can I have a snack?
16. I don’t like salad (said if any microscopic speck of green anything is spotted on his food).
17. Oops! The dog ate my dinner!
18. I gave the dog my fruit, he looked hungry.
19. I gave the floor my food, it looked hungry.
20. She looked at me.
21. He looked at me.
22. It’s too cold.
23. It’s too hot.
24. The dog looked at me.
25. I don’t like yellow scrambled eggs.
26. Sister touched me.
27. Sister won’t sit next to me.
28. I’m a chocolatarian, I only eat chocolate (OK, I made this one up but I’m positive it’s coming soon).
29. I want strawberries.
30. I don’t like “THOSE” strawberries.
31. What are you making? Whatever it is I don’t like that.
32. Can I have milk in my cereal?
33. Why did you put milk in my cereal?
34. How come she gets more? I want more … I’m full, I don’t want my food.
35. I liked tomatoes yesterday, not today.
36. I don’t like this plate.
37. I only want the one bowl in the house that is impossible to find right now.
38. I just want cherries! (said a day after he would rather be thrown into solitary confinement rather than touch a cherry)
39. This food came within one inch of touching another food. The whole plate is now yucky.

Editor’s Note: A version of this article first appeared on Lunchbox Dad.

I’m pretty sure my 1-year-old daughter is in the food mafia, and I’m in trouble. Some of you may be in trouble, too.

I am writing this from the relative safety of my kitchen, which is protected by a child safety gate. However, you should be aware that the gate has a cat door and my daughter knows how to use it.

As I stand here in the kitchen stuffing my face with chips, pretzels, Twizzlers and chocolate — all things I don’t want my daughter to have — I am quivering, aware of how little time I have to complete this task.

When she breaks into the kitchen, and I am sure she will, I will be done for.

I recall a time when I could eat things out in the open. Back then I had no fear of reprisals or meltdowns, and I fondly remember not sharing my food. Sure, there were times when my wife and I shared dessert or perhaps popcorn at the movies, but that was by choice. With my daughter, I have lost all control.

Your children may be engaging in similar behavior and, although I can’t prove it, I am confident that they are involved in the same conspiracy. Tell me if this is familiar:

At first, it begins with a grunt or a questioning vocalization. She points at whatever food item I am holding. I freeze. She points again, this time as a warning. Her vocalizations become louder. She looks at me with her gorgeous eyes. And, do you know what her eyes are saying? “I’m interested in what you have there. It’d be a shame if someone were to get hurt over such a thing. Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’ll just take 10%, you know, as a protection fee. This is for the best.”

And so, I comply, breaking off a small piece of my donut/bagel/potato chip/other junk food and hand it over, head bowed.

But it’s never enough.

She looks back up at me. Now her vocalizations have grown more intense as she moves towards me menacingly. “I really enjoyed that Dad. I’ve decided you must let me hold the entire thing so I can gnaw on it as I drag it around the entire apartment making sure that the couch and carpet and some of my toys also get a taste.”

I hesitate. And, now I’ve done it. She’s screaming. Her wail makes my hand tremble and I hand the whole thing over.

This is why I have taken to hiding in the kitchen with the gate closed when I want a snack. My wife does this, too. It is the only safe space left. But it is not safe forever.

That is why I need your help. I’m hoping you have some sort of daddy witness protection program or a way out of this. Or maybe you have a panic room.

Uh-oh, I hear her coming. The gate is rattling. She sees me now. She’s made it through. I must go before she …

Junk food mafia photo by Tim Samuel from Pexels

Are dads taking a backseat when it comes to ensuring our kids are eating healthy?

That thought came to me as I attended a fundraiser to benefit FoodFight, a 4-year-old organization aiming to change how  people eat and think about food in effort to stop rising childhood obesity rates.

During the May 30 event at Brooklyn Brewery, I heard many success stories about FoodFight and its classroom curriculum to teach children about the importance of being healthy and eating well through portion control, reading labels and good nutrition among others. One Edward R. Murrow High School student, for example, talked about how she lost 50 pounds and improved her overall health by making lifestyle changes based on what she learned from the organization.

Several women spoke throughout the evening, making me wonder: Where are all the men? More and more men are active in their children’s lives, but this might be one area where we’re not doing enough.

So how can we dads help?

One way is to push for a better health curriculum in our schools. It’s easier for kids to be healthy when their entire peer group is healthy. Getting a nutritional curriculum in schools is no easy task, but it doesn’t hurt to try. Over the years, I’ve asked for more gym time, more music time and more recess time. It wouldn’t hurt to ask for more educational instruction about what goes into our kids’ bodies.

Most importantly, dads — and all parents – should set an example to embrace good nutrition and health practices at home. I tell other parents all the time that I try not to set my kids up for failure. This conversation usually is about homework or something similar, but the same goes for eating and living healthy. Now is the time to teach your children good eating and exercise habits or else you are setting them up for a lifetime struggle.

To learn more about FoodFight, go to www.foodfight.org.

Editor’s Note: Enjoy this guest post from NYC Dads Group member and one of the trophy husbands featured on Nightline, Gregory Jobson-Larkin, as he shares the lengths he goes to get his child to nap. 

In this PC explicative, touch-screen driven, neo multi-lingual urban communicative iGeneration we now thrive in; we parent-persons have all dropped a few three-lettered “N” bombs explicitly directed at our toddler-aged children from time to time. 

Haven’t you? Ok, if not the three-lettered “N” word, definitely you’ve used the three-lettered “E” bomb.

In Twilight Zone black and white, “picture this,” an all too familiar scene:

A clear pigment light fixture precariously dangles amid a lightly smoke-filled atmosphere; an ignored smoke alarm blares in the innocuous background; the room, strategically equipped with stainless steel technology upon granite-top surfaces, sets an ominous tone. A child occupant, sitting in a toddler chair, glares in defiance and trepidation awaiting the plot-twist horror of YOU as “The Interrogator.” Wooden spoon grasped tightly in hand, gesturing the terms of your captive child’s capitulation you say, “We have ways of making you “Eat” … so, I think it’s “Nap” time!”
It’s all too surreal, one can almost hear the orchestral punctuation, in 3D surround sound, of course.

Who hasn’t leveraged the weight of the dreaded three-lettered “N” word, “Nap”, in lieu of securing toddler obedience? Confess, own it, Yo!

You “Nap Nazi,” using the secret police coercion technique of the: “If/Then” interrogative method. Amnesia? Maybe this will jog your memory: “If you Nap now. we’ll have even more fun later, ok?” This is usually said to be a “fat chance” stone-faced, single-minded, and determined mini-mind. Face it, children at any age are sweet, but for the record, they can be tough cookies.

Julien, our 19-month-old son ‘high fives’ passers-by, dogs, cats and other stable creatures on his red carpet, velvet roped stroller ride through bustling Manhattan street life while listening to iPhone’d Luciano Pavarotti serenades and dealing with a flirtatious adoring public. Wow, what a life!

In my dream world, Julien naps undisturbed from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., and then again from 3:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m, of which these times would vary based on:

(A) Level of physical activity, such as running through the park or just observing the park’s nature, flora, fauna and the odd, dirty left-behind candy wrapper;
(B) Intensity of external stimuli, such as new playmates, pokey-fingered parents, and their unsolicited curious interactions; and
(C) Drowsiness before or after feeding times, frankly I don’t know which one is worse. Either way, it’s game over for me.

In the dreamy conclusion of my make-believe world, he gets his nap on; observing it religiously, the necessity thereof for such. He quietly demands “pee pee” relief and then relieves an ample breast full of milk prior to his sweet retirement. With drink-of-choice in hand, Julien falls asleep; ahhh, what a dream life for me!

However in reality, intense kicking and screaming comes to mind regarding the subject of “Nap Time,” and I possess no lactation capabilities in these memoirs.

So, I’ve observed the following interesting phenomena that Julien exhibits, possibly you too may recognize them:

1. Sublime Determined Ignorance: “I’ll call you whatever you want, all day long, if you don’t make me take a Nap!”
2. Unconventional Collaboration: “I’ll do what you want for a sugary snack, yes; maybe even two sugary snacks..”
3. Staged Rage: “Are you watching, are we rolling film? Ok, action! And the Best Tantrum Award goes to…. wait for it… Me!”
4. The Negotiator: “No, don’t want Teddy; no, don’t want blanket; no, stop patting my tush; I don’t want lap time; no, no, no!”
5. A Made-Up Mind: “I’ll just lay here, but I won’t go to… s-l-e-e-p.”

Shush, the baby’s finally s-l-e-e-p-i-n-g; night-night; it’s only 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, and you two have the whole rest of the day ahead.

Sweet dreams, and get your “Nap” on, parent-people!

It seems like our son has been a terribly picky eater since he was born. When he was supposed to take 2 ounces of milk, he’d stubbornly drink 1.5. As he grew older, he decided that he didn’t like any of his food to be “dirty.” By dirty, I mean that he wouldn’t accept any sauce or seasoning on any of his food. Not on his rice, nor on his pasta, nor on his vegetables. They all had to be clean with not a speck of seasoning on them. I found this entire concept appalling.
Aside from being completely unable to understand how anyone would want to eat something totally devoid of flavor, I was especially worried that he wasn’t getting the nutrition he needed to grow. My fears were not entirely without basis, as he is underweight below the 5th percentile of the CDC growth charts. Yes – that’s the “see your doctor if your child is below this line” level. Despite our pediatrician’s insistence that everything was fine and that he’s never seen a malnourished child walking the streets of Manhattan, I still worried. He assured us that Asian babies are typically slighter and that he didn’t find anything wrong physically or in his temperament that would suggest that our son had any kind of medical problem.

Eventually, I put my worries to the back of my mind and fought one battle of a time. We tried all kinds of tricks to sneak more nutrition into his meals with mixed results. We tried things like chopping up chicken breast really fine, almost to a powder and mixing it with his rice. It worked a few times, until he famously declared: “I Hate Chicken!!!!”. Who hates chicken?? We also tried making him beef rice inside the rice cooker, which makes it really soft. He liked that maybe once every four tries. He also seemed to like fried rice to varying degrees – garlic, egg and scallion fried rice worked for awhile, but that gravy train ended. Mostly, the only thing he would eat consistently was some pasta in a light broth with corn and that was only because we would put it in front of him. More frustrating was that he would often ask for something, only to consume one bite before deciding that he didn’t want it anymore.

Then he started saying: “I don’t like meat”. I started wondering if our son was a vegetarian? Ok, I wasn’t really worried that he was a vegetarian… he’s only 3.5! But, the jokes were getting louder and more people were starting to tease me about it. It’s not that I have anything personal against vegetarians, I just have a very unhealthy love for meat. I’m a meat activist and I enjoy being on top of the food chain. I feel empty inside if I don’t have meat in my meals. I love all kinds of meats and I’ll eat just about anything. Pig’s feet, chicken gizzards, livers of all types, duck web, goose brains, fish heads… I even roast whole pigs several times a year. What would I do if our son ended up being a vegetarian? How on earth would I manage that?!

But then out of nowhere, something magical happened. We were eating at a local restaurant, where my perfunctory piece of sirloin steak happened to be served on a sizzling platter. My son took a look at it and said he wanted a piece. I didn’t actually expect him to eat it.. but he did! And then he asked for more.. and more.. before I knew it, he had consumed at least one quarter of my order. That may not seem like much, but it was a milestone! The next day I decided that I would buy some skirt steaks, fry them up with a bit of soy sauce and serve with plain white rice. To my delight, he went at it again, happily enjoying his steak. I could scarcely believe my eyes and I swelled with pride. My boy was finally eating meat! I am happy to say that his taste for steak continues and he asks for it on a regular basis. He still hates chicken.

On a more serious note, I am very happy that he’s getting more protein now. I’m hoping that he can break above that 5th percentile and start gaining some weight and strength. As for me, I’ve better understood that kids go at their own pace and it may not always be productive to push them into something they aren’t ready for. I admit that it’s hard to not compare his habits and development with those of other children of his age. Maybe he just wasn’t ready to eat meat and he wouldn’t do it unless it was under his own terms. I can respect that too.

About the author

Edward Yau is a geek dad that writes code for his kid. You can see his projects at Dendro Kids [http://www.dendrokids.com]  and Guess Your Baby [http://www.guessyourbaby.com]. Follow Ed on twitter @daddycoder.