Editor’s Note: To celebrate Father’s Day, we asked some moms we dig what was the greatest lesson their dads taught them that they abide by in raising their own children. Here are the second batch of lessons moms learned; the first series of responses ran on Tuesday.

Lessons Moms Learned: Be present, be kind, listen

My father has always been there for me, no matter what. His genuinely unconditional love taught me how to accept children for who they are. Value them as individuals. That means hiking with one, cooking with another. He taught me that being kind and being there to listen are essential. Especially when children mess up.

I broke the needle on his highly prized record player I was not even supposed to use. His response? That he’d wanted to buy a new one anyway. No blame. Listen to your children. Suspend judgment, don’t critique. Give advice sparingly.

Knowing he believed in me built an inner trust in who I am. A small glance conveyed he was on my side. He enjoyed activities I enjoyed simply because I enjoyed them. I want my children to feel this same unconditional love and value for each of their unique ways.

– Tovah P. Klein; author, How Toddlers Thrive; psychologist, mother of three boys

Lessons Moms Learned: Let them explore, absorb

My dad taught me what I consider to be singularly the most important and impactful life lesson he could have. Having only sisters and an interest in the less-than-typical girl things like dolls and playing house, but falling heavily in love with computers and technology (y’know, back when personal computers were the size of refrigerators), my dad was the one who encouraged me to explore the things that interest me and give no shits about the professional or role stereotypes for women. Which he probably told me subliminally when I bugged him incessantly to play Oregon Trail on the family computer and he finally said yes.

I’ve carried that ideal with me as a parent and am always sure to encourage my son to pursue what his heart and mind yearn to absorb, no matter how quirky or off-beat those things happen to be.

– Jessi Sanfilippo; founder and humorist at SHUGGILIPPO; @shuggilippo

Lessons Moms Learned: My hero, my hairdresser

When I was a little girl, one thing was for sure, I was not a fan of getting my hair washed (which is pretty ironic since now getting a blow dry is my greatest luxury). Determined to get the job done without the tears, my dad started giving me “monster do’s.” He would take the shampoo, suds it up, and create funny hairstyles, show me in the mirror, make me laugh and then rinse and do a fresh new look (gave a whole new meaning to ‘lather, rinse, repeat’). Vidal Sassoon who?!

Now that I’m a mommy to 15-month-old Lennox, I find myself doing those silly styles on him each night.  And each time I do, I’m reminded of those precious, priceless daddy/daughter moments that remain with me all these years later (we don’t need to discuss how many years). My dad is the first man I ever loved. Growing up, he was my friend, my hero and my hairdresser.

– Emma Bing; lifestyle editor, WhatToExpect.com; @emmasexpecting
Emma is the baby who inspired Heidi Murkoff, her mother, to write
the original “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book

Lessons Moms Learned: Be present

My father is a master at being present. I am a master at making an avocado salad while tying someone’s shoes while checking someone else’s homework while talking on the phone. But my dad has always been able to just be present.

As a kid, I remember him focusing on the task at hand, whether it be making a cool fort or going on a bug scavenger hunt with me. And now he does the same with my children. Every time I realize that I am doing way too much multi-tasking, I think of my dad and slow down. I sit down with one of my kids and actually play a game or read them a book or even sit by their side as they watch their favorite show. Because I don’t want my children to look back on their childhood and think, “Wow, Mom was so good at cleaning and texting!” I want them to remember the night we played cards and laughed so hard that one of them fell off the chair.

– Kelcey Kintner, writer and blogger, The Mama Bird Diaries, @mamabirddiaries

Lessons Moms Learned: Take risks

My Filipino father role-modeled risk-taking and hard work. He played the horses as a supplemental form of income for our family, and did pretty well. I don’t advise gambling as a life approach, but I learned something positive about risk taking. He instilled a pride of hard work, and that nothing is menial. He worked his way up from being an immigrant “houseboy” to being a hotel sous chef. All his working life he rose at 5 a.m. to work in a demanding kitchen despite a myriad of health problems. Most importantly, despite his own unrealized goals and disappointments, he was a father who stayed.

– Suzette Martinez Standring; syndicated columnist and author, The Art of Opinion Writing

Lessons Moms Learned: Have together time

When I was expecting our daughter, as silly at it sounds, I couldn’t stop thinking about a TV commercial. In it, a man has a splitting headache and reaches for aspirin as the announcer says the man needs fast relief because he can’t miss a very important meeting. The scene cuts to the very large man perched on a tiny seat, pretending to drink tea out of a tiny little plastic cup with his tiny, beaming little daughter.

I would get teary and turn to my husband: “Promise me,” I would say repeatedly. “Promise me that you’ll have tea parties with our daughter.”

He would nod, perplexed, and promise.

I love my father. But he is very much a man of his time. And in mid-20th-century America, a good father was one who went to work, provided for his children, paid for their ballet lessons and braces, came home late with a splitting headache, and just wanted a Scotch and to be left alone. At dinner, we ate with the TV on, or played the Quiz Game about what we learned in school. Whatever he knew of me, he learned through my mother. It’s just the way it was.

But just as I wanted something different than my parents’ traditional marriage, I wanted my daughter to have the relationship with her father than I always yearned for with mine.

So early on, Tom began walking our daughter, Tessa, to her ballet class. He rocked her for hours when they both had bronchitis one winter. He did, indeed, sit at a tiny blue table and sip imaginary tea from a tiny cup, and made time to be “Lance Mist,” one of her star patients when she ran “People’s Medical Needs” out of our basement playroom.

Now that she’s 13, they have “T” time. He takes her shopping. They go to the gym together. She still curls up on his lap at after dinner. He loves her confidence, her fire and even her sass. But more, he sees her. He knows her. And we are all the richer for it.

– Brigid Schulte; author, Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time; @BrigidSchulte

‘ How Toddlers Thrive ‘ is the best book on raising toddlers I’ve come across.

Shortly after arriving at the table, my family begins to eat. Within minutes, our 2-year-old begins to squirm and attempts to get down. He pushes away plates, almost spilling drinks and knocking over bowls and other table settings.

Does that scenario sound familiar?

How about this story?

My toddler and I arrive at the playground and soon he is making new friends, one is a girl wearing a cute white fuzzy coat. The girl’s mother and I talk about our kids, their teeth, and a variety of toddler topics. As the two children get to know each other, mine strokes the girl’s soft coat and they babble “hello” to one another.

Then, with one sudden strong push, the girl falls to her back, causing her nice coat to be soiled.

The girl cries and, as she is scooped up into the mother’s arms, I begin apologizing and lecturing my child on proper playground etiquette.

I do not know Tovah Klein (pictured), but after recently hearing her speak at the Barnard Center for Toddler Development in Manhattan and reading her new book How Toddlers Thrive, I feel that if she was monitoring my child during these incidents, she would assure me that it isn’t that big of a deal. Testing their environments and family dynamics is how toddlers learn.

As I read the book, I was impressed with how Klein, a child psychologist, discusses raising toddlers in easily understood terminology and makes it applicable to my current state of parenthood. She also references neuroscience in an understandable, identifiable manner, unlike many child psychologists and educators whose books read like the authors are bloviating about their knowledge instead of passing it on. Reading How Toddlers Thrive left me believing Klein cares not just about children, but also their parents.

One of the book’s many takeaways is its insight into the power struggles we have with toddlers. Sometimes, I forget that my son’s mind is rapidly growing and that pushing boundaries is actually his way of learning those boundaries. As Klein points out, my toddler has power and a say in those moments. While I’m the one who makes all the decisions, he wants to voice his opinion as well. His curiosity, passion, independence, persistence, and desire to know everything may annoy me when it comes to a rushed moment, but later in life, those are characteristics I want to flourish in him.

Even though this is the third time I’ve lived through the toddler years, I still gained a better understanding of raising toddlers after reading the book. I also came away with the desire to be more patient with my toddler. I can’t recommend this book enough, and I have read a lot of parenting books. How Toddlers Thrive is the best book for dads and moms on raising toddlers I’ve come across.