Comments on: Scared as Hell about Raising My Daughter

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Sep 2012 21:54:27 +0000

Lorne, thank you so much for sharing so honestly. I can associate with so many aspects of what you have been through / are going through. Being a Dad is amazing, but it’s terrifying too! The fact that Sienna’s smile warms your heart tells me how you feel about being a Dad. Keep being that great Dad,

By: Lance Somerfeld @ NYC Dads Group

Lance Somerfeld @ NYC Dads Group — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 23:53:59 +0000

Comment From Lorne Jaffe:
Thanks so much for all your words of encouragement! Honestly, as I’ve done my FB updates, I’ve been floored by the responses I’ve received and now I feel the same about this blog. Finding out that people are not just willing to share their own experiences, but believe that I’m a “good dad” without even seeing Sienna and I together has just floored me. I hope you continue to follow my posts which will show the ups and downs I’ve been through over the past 5+ months and I really hope that those dads that suffer from depression will find the freedom to “come out” as it were and talk about their lives w/out fear of judgment. My goal is to one day reach that stage myself…where I can walk with Sienna with my head held high. And Pedro, thank you so much for saying I’m more than a man than that ex-friend of mine 🙂

By: Pedro Veloso

Pedro Veloso — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 18:09:58 +0000

Lome,
As I'm reading this I'm thinking you probably are more of a man than the "supposed friend" who told you to man up! I would like to see him come out so courageously as you did about what was affecting you. And although I'm not a therapist and have not the minimum qualification about it, I'd say you'll get through. You already have 2 fundamental things:
1. You have assumed, understood and talked about your problem
2. You met some fantastic guys (The NYC Dads) who will help you out.
For what I know, if you care enough to wonder if you're a good dad, you're more than halfway through.

By: Doug

Doug — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 17:02:41 +0000

You're doing a lot of good things, the most important of which is acknowledging your fears and taking steps to address them. That's a lot more than most men are willing to do.

The NYC Dads are a great bunch. Keep reaching out to them, and you'll see how many of them will have your back.

By: Adam Gertsacov

Adam Gertsacov — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 15:00:15 +0000

Just read this--and I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

I haven't suffered from depression in quite the way you seem to, although I have to say I have definitely felt overwhelmed by being a dad, especially in the first few months.

To take a page from a recent social media meme about depressed teens-- it gets better. Trust me, it does.

You get more comfortable being a dad, you become more expert at it, and you learn to read your daughter, her needs, and the situation better.

You'll start to get more sleep, and that will help.

Reaching out to your groups of friends, including the Dad's group, is a great start.

Being a dad is an on the job learning experience, and as you do it longer, you get better at it. In 3 years, the one time she rolled off the couch will not be forgotten, except by you as a joke.

Keep on keeping on, and keep on reaching out, and I'm sure you'll be fine.