Winter dad jokes exist to warm the cockles of every kid’s funny bone. Or is it to give our spouses yet another reason to give us the cold shoulder? Brrr! Did anyone else just get an icy shiver down the spine?

As a service to our readers (and a disservice to their friends, co-workers and relatives), we have scoured the internet for the best/worst winter dad jokes. They are family-friendly, kid-approved, good ol’ clean jokes.

So you want silly snowman? We got them! Skier jokes? We got a few! Groan-inducing puns? You betcha!

But wait — there’s more! After you finish these, check out our Christmas dad jokes and our New Year’s dad jokes. ‘Tis the season!

Enjoy!

Best (or is it worst?) winter dad jokes

Q. What do you call a snowman who vacations in the tropics?
A. A puddle.

Q. Why are snowmen great at parties?
A. They always know how to break the ice.

Q. What do you call a winter monster with six-pack abs?
A. The Abdominal Snowman.

Q. What did the first snowman says to the second snowman?
A. “I don’t know about you, but I smell carrots.”

Q. What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
A. Snow.

Q. What do snowmen call their offspring?
A. Chill-dren.

Q. What is the best Mexican food to have during a frigid winter?
A. A brrrrr-rito.

A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee. The doctor asked him, “Have you tried icing it?”

Q. How does a snowman get around town?
A. By icicle.

Q. Why did the girl keep her saxophone out in the snow?
A. Because she wanted to play cool jazz.

Q. What does a snowman take when he gets sick?
A. A chill pill.

Q. What do you call a slow skier?
A. A slope-poke.

Q. How do mountains stay warm in the winter?
A. They put on their snowcaps.

Q. What did the snowman say to the dog that relieved itself on the sidewalk?
A. “Icy what you did there.”

Q. Why did the boy only wear one winter boot?
A. There was a 50% chance of snow.

Q. Where do skiers go when they’re short on cash?
A. The snow bank.

Q. What’s a snowman’s favorite condiment?
A. Chilly sauce.

Q. What do trees say when winter finally ends?
A. What a re-leaf.

Q. What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
A. Ones with lots of icing.

Did you hear about the snowman spy? He has a license to chill.

Q. What do you call an old snowman?
A. A puddle.

Q. What kind of money do snowmen prefer? 
A. Cold hard cash.

Q. How did the snowgirl break up with the snowboy?
A. She gave him the cold shoulder.

Q. What did one snowflake say to the other?
A. “You’re one of a kind.”

Q. Why is Frosty never late?
A. Because time waits for snowman.

Best winter dad jokes photo: © Soloviova Liudmyla / Adobe Stock.

Light up the night! Families seeking unique, safe, outdoor adventures this holiday season should venture over to Shimmering Solstice at Old Westbury Gardens. Immerse in a majestic fairytale as you wander the lovely grounds at Old Westbury Gardens transformed into a wonderland of light.

This is the first year for this festival of lights on Long Island, NY. It took about 75 minutes to meander and explore dramatic light effects at this walk-through (it’s approximately one mile) experience. Surprises abound at every turn until the magical, grand finale- a ten minute, projection light show displayed on the face of stately, Westbury House. A truly intoxicating encounter! We could gush on and on about how the projection show alone is worth the price of admission, but don’t won’t to be a spoiler.

Overall, this outdoor experience felt very safe. A few of the paths were narrow, but we had plenty of space to ourselves most of the time. It was very family friendly and we all enjoyed the “warming area” filled with seating, heaters, and fire pits with a tent that served overpriced ($6 per cup), but delicious hot chocolate and cookies.

#ShimmeringSolstice runs almost daily before wrapping up on January 9, 2022.

We loved it and will definitely be back again next year!

Disclosure: NYC Dads Group received free admission to Shimmering Solstice. Opinions provided in this post have not been influenced by the free passes.

I have a hate/love relationship with holiday decorating. While I often hate the cold process of retrieving the garland, tinsel and all those other items from the bowels of our family’s basement, I usually love the warm finished product: a house ready for the holidays.

This year, however, my “basement dive” was brightened by an object I came across for the first time in many years. I found a plastic black top hat like the one worn by Frosty the Snowman. In that moment, a series of memories sped through my mind like a magician’s interconnected handkerchiefs.

The hat had been part of a “build a snowman” set given to our family by a friend when my two daughters were tweens. The set included black buttons for a face and rounded sticks for arms. My youngest, Lindsay, especially loved the idea of making snowmen in our yard. That gift led to many snow families appearing in our yard during the next several winters — all punctuated by Lindsay’s sheer joy as she would pose next to them for pictures.

“This hat belongs in the Hall of Fame,” I thought to myself. That’s my phrase for a special section of my basement containing various items from my children’s early childhood — e.g., princess shoes, art projects, and crayon diaries, among others.

As I made my way across the basement, I also thought about a prized possession from when I was a tween. I grew up a baseball fanatic, and at that age I played for a team called the Falls Greenhouse Yankees. Our family vacation that year was to a place I considered sacred: the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown, N.Y.

I remember enjoying all the exhibits about my baseball heroes, but my most significant memory is when my usually frugal father agreed to splurge for a souvenir. My choice? A miniature baseball bat complete with the logos for a Louisville Slugger and the Baseball Hall of Fame. It’s even made of real wood. That souvenir has been prominently placed in every home I’ve lived in since childhood. I guess you could say the bat from an actual Hall of Fame is now part of my personal Hall of Fame.

Hard to predict what will become treasured heirlooms

What I’ve learned from the black hat and mini-bat is that you never know what objects from a child’s life will become magical, memory-laden family heirlooms years later. So I always encourage parents to hang on to some “special” family objects for a while, though many will not make the final cut for a variety of reasons.

The family objects that survive, however, often become like props from famous movies that thrill collectors with their ability to conjure up full-bodied memories of individual scenes. The scenes symbolized by family heirlooms are from the home movies we play in our minds when we remember the past. In the spirit of the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie books, you might say if you give a parent an heirloom, he or she can’t resist remembering all the warm associations it evokes.

Another reason to save a few of the objects from your children’s early years is to create more opportunities for intergenerational bonding in the distant future. As we know, we live in a high-tech, highly disposable culture that has moved many childhood experiences into the virtual realm. One result has been a decrease in outdoor, low-tech, hands-on childhood activities like playing baseball and building snowmen.

The black hat and mini-bat in my basement, however, have built a bridge between the childhoods of my daughters and me. Their snowmen melted several years ago, and my baseball games ended several decades ago. But the magical remnants are still here for us to savor together.

Craving a safe, unique family experience in New York City for the holidays during these crazy pandemic times? Look no further than the oasis of dazzling lanterns and holiday lights that is the LuminoCity Festival at Randall’s Island Park.

Our family recently ventured over to nearby Randall’s Island to immerse ourselves in a wonderland of holiday lights at LuminoCity Festival, now in its second year. We loved navigating the spectacular, creative and expansive display of art and light lantern sculptures that heightened the senses, bringing excitement for our family during a time we desperately needed it.

** Keep reading to save 15% on LuminoCity Festival! **

This enchanting holiday lights experience lasted about an hour. That’s more than ample time for you to snap photos, gawk at the beautiful light displays, and soak in the city light and skyline views in the backdrop. The whole ensemble worked perfectly because of the sea of shimmering LEDs unfolding in a lovely setting on the fields along the East River.

For everyone’s safety during COVID-19, LuminoCity mandates masks for all visitors and temperature checks upon entry, strict adherence to timed ticketing reservations, and capacity limitations on the grounds. There are also sanitizing stations aplenty on the grounds. We felt very safe as our family meandered through the impressive installation, but be careful of the floorboards that you walk on – some were uneven and could be a tripping hazard.

We drove our car this year (there is a $20 parking fee), but we are planning to walk next year using the green footbridge on 104th Street as we’re definitely planning to make this a new, annual family tradition.

Tickets to see the Holiday Lights

We recognize families are experiencing cabin fever in this crazy world we’re living in, so take the leap and score your tickets to LuminoCity (bonus: Save 15% using our exclusive discount code) before it shuts down on January 10.

My family owes a lot to ice skating. In fact, my first date with my wife of 25 years was at a festival of lights that featured outdoor skating. I still remember how we both pretended we were not good skaters so we could cling tighter to each other.

I grew up in New York’s Niagara Falls area right next to the Canadian border, so ice skating has always been a part of my life. When I was a child, one of my best friend’s fathers created that magical oasis that cold-weather kids crave: a backyard ice rink. Looking back, the rink was quite small, but in my memories it had NHL proportions complete with chain link fence “boards” my friends and I would check each other into. I’ll never forget how heavy an actual puck felt on your hockey stick compared to a street-hockey tennis ball.

As our bodies grew and our skating skills sharpened, we eventually moved our pick-up hockey games to a nearby frozen creek. But I miss the backyard rink more than the creek, which required more shoveling and did not include a post-game meal in my friend Tim’s warm house.

Learning to skate benefits children

Such memories flooded my mind when the time came for my two daughters to learn how to ice skate. While our yard has never been suitable for an outdoor rink, my wife and I made sure they took skating lessons at a local rink. The look of pride and wonder on their faces when they first learned to keep their balance was priceless.

No one remembers the feeling of gaining balance when we learned how to walk. But we can relive a fraction of that conquest of gravity by learning how to do things like ice skate, roller skate, ride a bicycle, snow ski or waterski. That’s why it’s important to help children achieve at least some of these balance-focused abilities that also fuel self-confidence.

Over the years, my family has enjoyed skating together every winter at local rinks or school events. A few times one of my daughters would even choose to have an ice skating birthday party. Caution: if your child wants such a party, make sure everyone invited knows how to skate reasonably well. My back nearly gave out one year trying to help an adorable but very wobbly boy make his way around the rink.

Skating backward benefits parents

My most poignant memory of ice skating with my daughters as teens occurred a few years ago. I was with my friend, Greg, who has two daughters the same age as mine. We were all skating on a little practice rink, and the older girls were trying to skate backward. I can only skate backward very slowly, and I was having trouble explaining how to do it.

Suddenly, Greg’s older daughter figured it out by herself and excitedly showed me how to skate faster. Basically, you push outward on alternating skates while leaning back slightly. I tried it — and it worked! Life had come full circle … or more like a figure eight. Years ago Greg and I had helped teach our daughters how to skate forward, and here they were teaching us how to skate backward.

Then it dawned on me.

Metaphorically, all children eventually teach their parents how to skate backward. When we meet our mates and start a family, our eyes (and skates) are fully on the path ahead. But as our children grow and push forward in search of their own missions and mates, their skates leave a trail in the ice that parents can’t help but retrace, savor and — let’s face it — miss terribly.

Photo: © pressmaster  / Adobe Stock.

Christmas dad jokes? Seriously?

No, funny. That’s why they call ’em jokes, folks.

C’mon. We’ve posted so many holiday dad jokes in these parts (coming up next — New Year’s dad jokes!) not to mention seasonal ones, such as these winter dad jokes that you should have been expecting these.

Thus, through the miracle of Google, we have searched for the best and worst Christmas dad jokes (and some general winter jokes, too). Consider these our gift to you. Telling these around the tree will have your family wreathing on the floor with laughter and pining for more winter holiday dad jokes. So have a happy season, all, and be sure to enjoy your elves!

Best/worst Christmas dad jokes and puns

Q. What did Santa say when Dasher and Dancer asked what the cloudy skies meant for Christmas Eve?
A. “Rain, deer.”

Q. Who gives baby sharks their presents on Christmas?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A. Claus-trophobic.

Q. How does Christmas Day end?
A. With the letter Y.

Q. What kind of cars do Santa’s elves drive?
A. Toy-otas

Q. What do you call a poor Santa?
A. Saint Nickel-less.

Q. How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
A. Only one. After that, it is not empty anymore.

Q. What’s the best Christmas gift for the person who has everything?
A. A burglar alarm.

Q. What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

Q. Why did the doctor warn the dad not to eat Christmas tree decorations?
A. He didn’t want him to catch tinsel-itis.

Q. What type of weather does Santa like best?
A. Snow snow snow!

Q. What kind of pizza is Santa’s favorite?
A. One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even.

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing. It was on the house.

+  +  +

A couple is walking through St. Petersburg Square in Russia on Christmas Eve when they start to feel something wet fall upon their faces.

“I think it’s raining,” says the man.

“No, it’s snowing,” replies the woman.

“How about we ask this Communist officer here? He’s always right!” the man insists. “Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?”

“Definitely raining,” Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile, “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

+  +  +

Q. Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation?
A. At a ho-ho-ho-tel.

Q. What do you use to clean your hands when out Christmas shopping?
A. Santa-tizer

Q. How can you tell snowmen from snowwomen?
A. Check for snowballs.

Q. What do Santa’s elves like to listen to while they work?
A. Wrap music.

Q. What did the third wise man say after the other two had already presented gold and frankincense?
A. “But wait, there’s myrrh!”

Q. Why is it always so cold during Christmas?
A. Because it is Decembrrrrrrrr.

Q. Why did the dad buy his child a refrigerator for Christmas?
A. Because he wanted to see her face light up when she opened it.

Q. Why was Santa’s helper depressed and sad?
A. He had low elf-esteem.

Q. What brand of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A. Holly Davidson.

Q. What did the first snowman say to the second snowman?
A. “I don’t know about you, but I smell carrots.”

Q. What is a snowman’s favorite breakfast food?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
A. Because their days are numbered.

Q. Who is Santa’s male favorite singer?
A. Elf-is Presley.

Q. Who’s Santa’s favorite female pop star?
A. Beyon-sleigh

Q. What do you call a child who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A. A rebel without a Claus.

Q. How does Santa remember all the fireplaces he’s visited?
A. He keeps a log.

Q. What fabric makes the best Christmas sweaters?
A. Fleece Navidad.

Q. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
A. Because they always drop their needles.

Q. What is Santa’s favorite state?
A. Ida-ho-ho-ho

Best Christmas Dad Jokes Photo: © Sunny studio / Adobe Stock.

Looking for a thrilling way to visit the big guy in the red suit this holiday season? Want to do something uniquely New York and fun with the kids while they are home from winter break?

Our family recently visited One World Observatory for its second annual Winter ONEderland holiday installation and it was an unforgettable experience we highly recommend.

One of Santa’s elves greeted us with tasty cookies as we entered the Glacier Caves. Next, we’re surrounded by digital snowflakes in a sleek Skypod elevator and rocketed up to the 102nd floor in under one minute. The One World Trade Observatory is the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere and the views don’t disappoint.

When you arrive at the observation deck, wonder awaits. You start by watching a brief film about New York City. Then the curtains lift to provide a jaw-dropping, skyline view that includes the Empire State Building, Hudson River, and every other iconic NYC landmark that you could imagine.

One World Observatory’s Winter ONEderland offers the perfect blend of holiday season glee and mesmerizing sights. As we navigated around the observation deck, our children were drooling on the massive glass windows. Why? The view of the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and nearby helicopters cruising by blew them away! It was a surreal feeling for both tourists and native New Yorkers like us.

Next, we hopped aboard Santa’s Sleigh and spent quality time chatting about our holiday wish lists. My daughter was jabbering on to Santa about her Trolls Movie figures and doll requests while my son was making sure I was listening intently to his laundry list of Amazon smart plugs and other tech gadgetry as we marveled at the stunning views from over 1,300 feet in the air. Be prepared: there is an additional $22 fee for a professional photograph and a digital copy to capture the moment. Our family has experienced several NYC Santa visits/photo opportunities at other well-known places in previous years so this was a unique and magical way to do it this year.

Our kids are still reminiscing about the views and immersive holiday experience at Winter ONEderland atop One World Observatory. We look forward to going back again but want to try it during the evening hours so we can see forever across the sparkling lights of the city skyline.

Winter ONEderland tips, schedule

Make sure to visit One World Observatory’s Winter ONEderland soon. It runs continuously through the holiday season, ending on January 7.

Final thought for parents: Admission tickets are timed. Admission and security lines could be long. They move quickly but expect a 20- to 30-minute wait during the busy holiday season. We strongly suggest you buy in advance online.

Disclosure: Our family received a free family pass to visit the One World Observatory. The thoughts and opinions in this article are honest and 100 percent our own.

With the holiday season upon us and winter break from school near, we asked a few of our dads for suggestions on what to do with their children in and around NYC during this time of the year. Here are some of their suggestions, and if you want more check out our summary of fun winter activities for kids.

MTA Holiday Nostalgia Rides

The MTA is continuing its annual tradition of Holiday Nostalgia Rides on vintage trains. Having grown up in the city, I always think this means the cars will be covered in graffiti and I’ll be mugged by a guy named Fleabag Jimmy, but no! Vintage subway cars from the 1930s will roll out along the A, C, D and F lines on Sunday afternoons during the holidays. My 5-year-old daughter loves going on these cars at the Transit Museum and it’ll be great for her to see them in action as we schlep around the city doing our Christmas shopping. Rumor has it that the MTA’s infrastructure is also from the 1930s, but you already knew that.

— Peter Duffy

Skating and window shopping

We love to ice skate during this time of year and are fortunate to be near so many thrilling ice rinks in NYC. Our favorite is Wollman Rink in the middle of Central Park with its expansive ice rink, sweet skyline views, and warm hot chocolate when you’re ready for a break. We also love Bryant Park’s Ice Skating Rink because of its convenient location and if you own your own skates, it’s free admission.  Plus, the surrounding Winter Village is fun to walk around before or after our family skate.

Another favorite winter break tradition is doing a Department Store Window Walking Tour. First, we get large cups of hot chocolate. Then, we stroll from Barneys to Bergdorf Goodman to Saks. Saks has an amazing and free light show on their building that’s entertaining for the kids. It’s also right next to the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree so that’s a mandatory stop on our tour as well. This year we plan to make a pit stop in FAO Schwartz now that our favorite toy store has reopened in a new location at Rock Center.

— Lance Somerfeld

Gingerbread Lane

Every year during the holiday season, we go to the New York Hall of Science to see Gingerbread Lane. It is the biggest collection of gingerbread houses. Sometimes you can even meet the baker who created all of these gingerbread houses and have a talk with him.

— Larry Interrante

Other suggestions:

• The annual Holiday Train Show at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx
• Winter ONEderland  at One World Observatory
• Radio City Christmas Spectacular

EDITOR’S NOTE: NYC area family-friendly skiing guide updated for Winter 2023-2024!

Family-friendly skiing, snowboarding and tubing is not as far or as difficult to get to from NYC as you may think. Several kid-friendly slopes and resorts are within a few hours by car, commuter train or even bus.

And COVID-19 — be damned! Most resorts operated throughout the 2020-21 season without issue thanks to limits on daily lift ticket sales, face mask requirements, social distancing rules and restrictions on lodge use.

So if you want to escape the urban jungle for a day or weekend, here are some of our favorite family-friendly ski resorts and spots in the New York City area.

Thunder Ridge Ski

Thunder Ridge Ski may be the easiest of all these to reach from NYC. Located in Patterson, N.Y. just off I-684, it’s only 90 minutes by car and accessible via the Metro North Hudson Line. The resort normally offers a free shuttle service from the Patterson, N.Y., train station on weekends and you can call to have them pick you up during weekdays. Check the resort’s ski shuttle page.

Thunder Ridge is good for beginners given its easy access, small size (22 trails, three chairlifts, and four magic carpets) and gentle slopes.

Mountain Creek Resort

Also just a 90-minute drive away is Mountain Creek Resort in Vernon Township, N.J. It offers two-hour lessons and rental packages at a reasonable price through its Kids Kamp. Mountain Creek offers 200 acres of trails with eight lifts along with 30 lanes of snow tubing — a perfect family activity, no skill required.

Staying overnight slope-side at The Appalachian hotel is also awesome because, regardless of the temperature, you can relax in the heated outdoor pool and hot tub. (I’ve done it — it’s pretty amazing on a cold night.)

Camelback Mountain Resort

About two hours northwest of New York City in the Poconos is Camelback Mountain Resort, regularly voted one of the best family-friendly skiing resorts in Pennsylvania. Why? In addition to 166 acres of skiing (fully covered by man-made snow if nature doesn’t help), Camelback has one of the biggest snow tubing parks — 42 lanes — in the United States, ziplining, an adventure park and a 4,500-foot-long Mountain Coaster.

The fun doesn’t stop at night. Colorful LED lights and music keep the snow tubing going after dark while skiing and snowboarding also continue.

Tired of the outdoors? You and the family can dive into the wave pool or ride of the water slides at the adjacent Aquatopia Indoor Waterpark. If you go, make sure you read our indoor waterpark tips first.

One downside — driving is the only way to get here.

Hunter Mountain Ski Resort

Hunter Mountain in the Catskills is the closest “big” mountain (3,200 feet above sea level) to NYC at less than three hours away. Given its size, Hunter has something for skiers and snowboarders of all skill levels with two terrain parks and 67 trails over 320 acres. It also boasts New York state’s largest snow tubing park with 1,000-foot-long lanes.

One-on-one or group lessons are available for kids or, if you want some adult time on the slopes, “playcare” is available for kids ages 2 to 6.

Windham Mountain Resort

A bit farther north in the Catskills is Windham Mountain Resort. Lessons are available for children as young as 3 while experienced skiers and boarders will find plenty to do on 285 acres filled with 54 trails, six terrain parks and 11 lifts.

Windham also has an Adventure Park with tubing, ice skating and — yes! — kid-sized snowmobiles (these need to be booked in advance).

Mount Snow

If you want a more traditional New England-style but still family-friendly ski resort, trek the four hours north by car or bus to Mount Snow in beautiful West Dover, Vt. With 85 trails, 19 lifts and 10 terrain parks across four mountain faces and 589 skiable acres, it’s the real deal.

You could also go snow tubing. Or get pulled by a team of Siberian huskies. Or take a ride on a sleigh pulled by Belgian draft horses.

Mount Snow also offers occasional Kids Discovery Days where children ski and learn free with a midweek lodging stay and adult lift ticket purchase.

For more on the family-friendly skiing and winter experience at Mount Snow, check out this review.

If your situation is anything like mine, soon your kids will be home from school for Christmas break. That means days of being home all day with three children who are overly excited, trapped indoors because of freezing cold temperatures, constantly needing a snack, and — even when they are having fun playing together — they still sound like they are fighting.

You might be wondering how I will survive this ordeal and, if you’re in this situation, how you will do the same. This year, I came up with a five-part plan to survive Christmas break. Feel free to use, modify, share or ignore.

1. Do as much as possible before Christmas break starts

Since I’ve ordered most of their gifts already, I plan to wrap all presents this week. This way, when the kids are home for Christmas break I won’t have to lock myself in my bedroom to wrap presents. This allows me the option of locking myself in my bedroom simply to get away from my kids.

This week I’m also hoping to meal plan and grocery shop for many, if not all, of the break meals. It’s been some time since I’ve had to take all three kids to the grocery store, and I’d like to keep that streak alive if possible.

2.  Use Santa and Elf on the Shelf to your advantage

“Kids, if you’re borderline between being on the Naughty List vs. being on the Nice List, cleaning your rooms may just tip the scales in your favor.”

3. Speaking of cleaning, get rid of old toys

I’ll probably tell my kids matter-of-factly that we don’t have any room left in our house for new toys UNLESS we get rid of some of our old ones. This could also be used as an opportunity for kids to learn a lesson about charities that accept gently used toys. The alphabet learning set with only 14 letters, though, just needs to go in the trash.

4. Multiple trips to the public library over winter vacation

• It’s warm.
• It will get us out of the house.
• They have daily activities for kids.
• It’s free.

Do you really need any more reasons?

5. Misery loves company during Christmas break

Invite one of your friends over who is home with his or her kids, too. If your kids are like mine, after a few days of just being around each other, they will jump at the opportunity to have a different person in the house to play and pick fights with.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Wish me luck. And best of luck to you as well this Christmas break.

A version of this first appeared on Indy’s Child.