We received the question below in our inbox yesterday. We have our own thoughts, but we wanted to open it up to the larger community to give this family some tips for how to manage this difficult situation.
My husband is feeling overwhelmed right now: I just went back to work out in an office (no choice due to financial issues), while he is trying to work from home (not doing great) with our 14-month old daughter in his care. She is sleeping less and less, especially this week as she is familiarizing herself with the fact that I am not here during the day anymore since Monday. She wants his arms constantly, but once up there,she wants to touch everything that looks new or interesting, so he can’t work at all. She demands his attention 100%. How can he balance his work with taking care of our baby, knowing that we don’t have the money for daycare or nurse and grand-parents are too far-away (they live overseas). Any tips for this new dad at home trying to work from home?
This is a question that comes up a lot for dads in our group. Many dads currently work at home part-time or full-time, and many others are full-time caregivers thinking working at home might be a good way to return to the work force slowly.
Here is the advice we gave:
Thanks for writing. It sounds like a very difficult situation. First, let me say that we are not experts in any way shape or form. We are dads, however, and we do talk to a lot of dads that have been through this.
There are many dads in our group that work from home. The dads that are the most successful separate the time they work from the time they are taking care of their children. Trying to do both at the same time usually means neither the child nor the work is getting the attention it needs and deserves, and as you are seeing, leads to tremendous frustration.
Obviously, the solutions depend on the nature of both of your work. Could you work your schedule so he is able to get some work done in the morning before you leave? Would your schedule allow you to be home early enough for him to work when you get back home? Also, as things settle down, the nap might be more consistent so that will yield some time to catch some time during the day.
Any work-at-home moms or dads have any more advice for this family?
Hi. I am a former college professor and have worked from home for the past 12 years. I also have 3 young children ages 3, 4 and 7.
It is very hard to work from home with young kids. However, all my kids stayed home with me until they were 3 and at that point they started preschool.
If you are working from home in a structured, full time job that requires conference calls etc., I think it would be extremely hard to take care of a child and work. I have found that it is much easier to work from home doing various types of contract work when you have small children.
Obviously, the best time to work is when the kids are taking a nap or after they go to bed. During the remainder of the day when I am working, I set up “play stations” near and around my home office.
1. For example, my office is adjacent to the kitchen. One of my stations is a cupboard in the kitchen where my kids can get out the pots and pans and play with them. (not the most quiet activity..lol..but very engaging.)
2. Another station is arts and crafts. (A great idea with toddlers is to use soap crayons)
3. A third station is a few toys that are changed out every day so there is always something new.
4. Another station is some sort of physical activity such as riding toys, balls or a kids size mini trampoline with handles etc. (probably not for a 14 month old though.)
5. My last station was always different. I have several books on things to do with toddlers and got some great ideas. (Did you know kids love to wash coins? …go figure)
As my kids got bored, I would move them to a new station, every 20 minutes or so. In addition I always had an “emergency” DVD ready to go just in case I got an unexpected call from a client etc. This worked pretty well until around age 3 when my kids really became active climbers. At that point, I needed some child care in order to get my work completed.
As I stated above, performing contract work is definitely the best option with small children because you have much more flexibility. The key to freelancing is diversification. Apply as a subcontractor for a vast amount firms and also apply for advertised freelance jobs. For example, I perform data entry work, article writing, website testing, mystery shopping, paid surveys etc., and, believe it or not, I make more now than I did teaching.
Finding good work from home jobs is not easy and there are allot of scams out there. I created a free website called the “Legitimate Online Job Directory”. This is basically a database of free, no scam, no mlm work from home jobs and companies hiring home based workers. It’s a great resource for both legitimate full time work and contract work.
I wish everyone luck working with their toddlers. It is hard but doable. The best thing? You can actually stay home with your kids and interact with them throughout the day. I hope this helps!
Anne Marie Anderson
Owner
Legitimate Online Job Directory
http://www.LegitimateOnlineJobDirectory.com