I am going through a long and sentimental (bordering on mawkish) ending of sorts. It involves a 20-year-old Coleman pop-up camper.

My wife and I bought it new just after we were married. This was well before we had the twins, well before I even dreamed that was on the horizon. It’s old and worn now, ravaged by time, memory, miles and many backyard sleepovers. I am trying to figure out what to do with it as it’s barely roadworthy.

We were so delightfully young and naive when we purchased it. For weeks we looked at floor plans, considering size and amenities, before finally deciding on a smaller one that could be towed by my six-cylinder Chevy S-10. A smaller size would also make backing it up easier. Truth be told, I suck at backing a trailer. This one proved small enough it actually be hand-pushed into a space when necessary. It never occurred to us we might be camping with twin toddlers or giant teenagers, so we based our needs on just us. It contained no toilet and an interior set up to accommodate just two newlyweds and a guitar.

The camper’s been in our backyard for some time now. The boys like to hang out in it as the WiFi reaches that far. I’ve got to put it down before … well, I can’t.

You see, when we bought the camper, I purchased a nice leather-bound journal. I put it in a drawer inside the camper and vowed to write a bit about every night spent in it. And I did. The writing is not very good, few metaphors or deep insights, but the years are covered, each trip dutifully noted. Through the pages, the boys grow up, I age, the relationship with my wife deepens and a continuity and connection is established. Over the years, it has held the stories and hopes of a young family growing together. Stories of thunderstorms and frightened toddlers, scraped knees and sleepless nights. Hopes for the future in the minds of 6-year-olds and my hopes for their lives moving forward.

I am very glad I bought that journal. It sits to my left as I am writing this right now.

I spent a couple of recent evenings in the old camper, looking through what was in it when I came across the journal. With a curious urgency — fueled perhaps by the beers — I put it with the pile of things to take into the house.

Here’s the thing. The “ending” of that old camper is a new “beginning” for that journal. It is done with its long present and now can begin to show me my past: a past where I hoped for my boys’ future. It is so strange how, as one writes in diaries and personal journals, how prescient we can be. There’s an entry from 2011, written of an early morning at a state park in central Ohio, where I say: “The boys are getting along surprisingly well. They rarely fight or bicker and are good friends, it seems. Who knows how long that’ll last, but I really hope it does.”

How could I know then that, nine years later, they’d still be best friends?

Or, that at the time I was watching the beginnings of what I think will be a lifelong friendship?

How, perhaps, would I know that camping and bonding in the close quarters of that little camper would help that along? Maybe I had helped it through sheer happenstance and in a leather-bound journal I’d noted it. Now I can look it up.

Recently, a fellow father and writer on this website purchased a used camper. He solicited advice from a social media group we are in. I typed a long answer — advice on gear and the such — but I deleted it. The real advice was too ethereal and came from a place I’m at now, a place he’ll get to, a place he already is. Camping, like so many other family adventures and hobbies, is about memory-making. Their worth can only be revealed later. However, at the time you’re making them, you still somehow know that even if you don’t realize it then.

About the author

Bill Peebles left a 30-year career in the restaurant business to become a stay-at-home dad to twin boys. He writes a blog, I Hope I Win a Toaster, that makes little sense. Bill also coaches sometimes, volunteers at the schools, plays guitar, and is a damn good homemaker. He believes in hope, dreams, and love … but not computers.

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This blog post, first published in 2020, is part of the #NoDadAlone campaign. Fathering Together/City Dads Group, the National At-Home Dad Network, and Fathers Eve are joining forces to amplify messages that help dads recognize we are not alone! Follow #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and learn more at NoDadAlone.com.

DISCLOSURE: This post is sponsored by Clorox®.

The great outdoors. Crystal clear lakes, night skies filled with shimmering stars, the crackling of a roaring fire and a slight mildew smell coming from your tent.

Wait, something seems out of place.

If you are like me, you are gearing up for a summer of outdoor adventures like camping. However, your actual camping gear may not be so ready having spent the off-season growing funky in your basement or closet. And nothing, other than pouring rain, can take the fun out of camping like gross gear.

Like most years, my family will be heading to a campground in the foothills of the Adirondack Mountains of upstate New York. Sure, there’s a pool at the campgrounds and bouncy house, and – yes – that is a local brewery nearby that will help you match a beer to whatever you are planning on cooking, but I swear: IT’S STILL CAMPING! We still will be setting up our own tent, sleeping in sleeping bags, and roasting marshmallows over an open fire that most would describe as way too big. All that fosters a love of the outdoors in my kids like the one I have. It’s totally worth it.

A few days ago, I took out my camping gear from the basement to give it a quick check and I found out that last year I was not following the 11th point of the Scout Law – A Scout Is Clean. Yikes. My old Scoutmaster is slowly shaking his head in disapproval somewhere.

Not only was my tent, which I never aired out before packing it up last summer, rather funky smelling, but my portable stove was even more of a disaster. It was stained with a combination of burnt coffee residue and grounds from my first attempts at making so-called “Cowboy Coffee.” (Pro-tip: Don’t dump your coffee grounds quickly into the boiling water. It will fizz over like a science fair volcano.) I know how finicky my 7- and 10-year-olds can be when it comes to eating, so cleaning up this piece of camping gear would be Job One.

I used Clorox^® Clean-Up^® Cleaner + Bleach kind of in the same way that you would clean up your bathroom or countertop, like in this video:

The tent, on the other hand, needed more delicate care. It had seen many nights under the stars, having been places as diverse as the camp where the original “Friday the Thirteenth” movie was filmed and dead center field of a minor league baseball park, so it could have been on its last trip if I wasn’t careful. I found bunches of brown spots, indicating mold. Luckily, it wasn’t as bad as I feared. If it was black mold or if it had half-eaten through the tent’s nylon-like material, it would have been time to get a new one. But this was mild and it could be salvaged, thanks to Clorox power.

Following a solution one of my old Scoutmasters swore by, the process was simple and similar to a manual version of cleaning a shower curtain, like in this video:

With all of our camping gear ready now, we can go make some more awesome family memories this summer. I am also going to teach the kids how to safely start and care for a campfire. Fingers crossed.

As the heat of summer burns off, the nights creep ever so longer, and the air turns crisp and cool, my family returns to our favorite fall tradition — a weekend camping trip.

Even with small kids, camping doesn’t need to feel like an impossibly miserable weekend sleeping on the cold, hard ground. With a little preparation, camping can become a fall favorite for your family too.

Camping starts with a tent

First, make sure you have the right kind of gear. Of course, you’ll want a tent. If you don’t own a tent, borrow one. Just make sure you practice setting it up in your own yard (and check you have all the parts) so you are not surprised or frustrated when you arrive at your campsite. While setting up, make sure your kids are involved in helping too. Have them help arrange the inside of the tent with sleeping bags, pillows and blankets. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can even allow them to hammer in the tent stakes using a rubber mallet.

Food prep

When I asked my 12-year-old daughter what she learned at her week-long sleep-away camp last summer, she replied: “Dad, some people pee in lakes.”

I loved her nonchalant delivery of such an intriguing detail. I also loved the gender-neutrality of her use of “some people,” which created a bubble of mystery I chose not to burst.

As a veteran stay-at-home father, one of my favorite aspects of camping is precisely its gender-neutrality, or at least gender role flexibility. As my extended family plans for another camping experience, I look forward to my daughters, nieces and nephews once again enjoying cross-sex activities like hiking, swimming, kayaking and building a fire.

Granted, gender roles and their expectations can still be tricky for both girls and boys to navigate. A few years ago, a family trip to a summer cottage reminded me of the growing gender role flexibility of young girls in our culture. Eight-year-old Lindsay and I were having a great time fishing, as she discovered a passion for catch-and-release excitement on the dock. On the last day of the trip, she was rushing through breakfast so she could get in some last-minute fishing before we had to leave. As we gathered our gear for the dock, I heard her implore my wife for help with her hair: “Mom, hurry up and put in my DevaCurl! I want to go fishing!”

The moment amused me. But it also made me think about why it seems so cute and part of “girl power” for girls to be boy-like, while boys still seem stigmatized for being interested in activities traditionally associated with girls like babysitting or baking. Ironically, a movie reinforced such a stigma on that same trip when I saw Grown Ups, in which Chris Rock plays a pathetic stay-at-home dad with a domineering wife and mother-in-law.

My ideal for the future would be that boys and girls have opportunities to experience the liberation and joy of freely drawing from traditional notions of masculinity and femininity. For future parents, this would mean a world of increasingly flexible gender roles that can be donned or detached as needed.

Fortunately, these biases are waning, and more choices are opening up for boys, but there seems to be a lag compared to girls’ options. (On the flip side, one might argue that the “DevaCurl moment” illustrates the ongoing pressures females face in our appearance-obsessed culture, though it was clear Lindsay asked for the hair product with glee.)

My ideal for the future would be that boys and girls have opportunities to experience the liberation and joy Lindsay displayed in the “DevaCurl moment,” in which she freely drew from traditional notions of masculinity and femininity. For future parents, this would mean a world of increasingly flexible gender roles that can be donned or detached as needed.

As a toddler, Lindsay once went through a “wig time” phase when she would occasionally don a long blonde wig to feel more “relaxed,” as she described it. I have not gone through a similar period (so far). But I will admit that once I became proficient at using various conventional signifiers of the opposite parental gender — e.g. a baby bottle, stroller, diaper bag, and minivan — it was often “relaxing” to enjoy the feeling of competence. The key, it seems, is for both men and women to continue removing the gendered perception of those objects in the first place.

While our family has made much progress in this direction, our quest to remove gender from as many objects as possible is an ongoing project. A recent setback involved a fly swatter. As I stood in my kitchen, a 1950s scenario unfolded around me: Lindsay heard a buzzing near her head, frantically grabbed a fly swatter, shoved it into my hand, and locked herself in a closet. She may have just been having a bad day, but I had to remind her that she was the same girl who once bravely watched a raccoon ransack her campsite without flinching.

Maybe there’s just something in the lake water at those camps.

With spring in full bloom and summer quickly approaching some dads will be hitting the great outdoors with their little ones for camping. Many will be all gung-ho, while others (perhaps those who refer to themselves as Indoor Enthusiasts) may be more apprehensive going into the woods, particularly with kids. But if you follow a few simple steps for camping success, you will be OK.

Prepare

There is a reason the Boy Scouts’ motto is “Be Prepared.” Because going into the wilderness is not something you should just go and do. You need to be ready. First, you need to find a campground and make reservations. You should make your reservations as far in advance as you can because on peak weekends some campsites sell out quickly. You should find out any regulations about the camp that you can, are you allowed to start a fire at your site, or if you need to cook over a camp stove? Is cut wood available for purchase, or will you have to get your own? Is alcohol permitted? How close can you park your car to the campsite? Make sure all of the activities you plan are age appropriate for your kids. Part of the preparation includes letting people know where you will be. Doing your homework will make a world of difference.

Equip

If you are an experienced camper/hiker, you should have all the equipment that you need. But it may be old and in desperate need of repair.  Or perhaps your tent which is perfect for you when you hit the trial is now going to seem way too small for you and your kids all to fit. Maybe all your old gear from your Boy Scout days is packed away in your parents’ garage or storage space, or you are completely starting from scratch, in either case, you need stuff. Remember you are not climbing Everest; you are going to spend a day or two in the woods with a person who will be impressed with cooking hot dogs with a stick. So don’t go too crazy. Some pieces of equipment that you will need are:

• A tent
• Sleeping bags
• Backpack
• Rope
• Tarp
• Eating and cooking utensils
• Flashlights (back up batteries)
• Lantern
• A large container for water (unless the camp doesn’t have a water source then jugs of water)
• Toilet paper
• Toiletries
• Camp stove
• Axe or saw
• First Aid kit
• Rain Gear
• Boots
• Work gloves
• Extra Clothes
• Bug Spray
• Food

Most of these items can be found at Target or Wal-Mart pretty inexpensively, alternatively, there are many great deals for used equipment on eBay. You could also go to a specialty shop like REI or EMS, which in some locations have gear (tents, stoves, lanterns) to rent for a fee. Rentals or inexpensive items are the way to go until you find out if you or your young ones want to make going into the outdoors more of a permanent hobby, at that point you should invest in higher-priced items. An eight-year-old doesn’t need a $300 -15 degrees rated sleeping bag for a quick overnighter over the summer. A simple 40-degree bag, which you should be able to pick up for under thirty dollars, is all she will need to have a good time.

In addition to the above-listed items, I would recommend bringing some toys, books or games. You could have bad weather and find yourselves stuck inside your tent, having a soft ball which you can all play hot potato with will be a lifesaver.

Test

Nothing spells disaster like bringing brand new equipment camping. What do you mean spikes sold separately? I recommend practicing putting up your tent and taking down your tent before you go. Do it in the living room (if the tent is small enough) or take it out to a local park with a nice-sized lawn. Now with the practice under your belt, you will look like a champ when you get set up quickly. Also, kids will love “camping” in the living room as they eagerly await the real thing.

Figure out how to light your lantern or start up your camp stove, it is much better to deal with trial and error at home than in the woods. Another benefit of testing before you go is without all the packaging you will have less stuff to carry. All your gear should fit in your backpack, so your hands are free. Try to start a small fire in your BBQ grill, now that you know how to do that you can take that knowledge with you, but when it’s for real just expand the pile of wood.

So if you follow these three steps (PET) you will be set up for a good time in the woods and hopefully will foster a lifelong affinity for the outdoors within your little one.