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What Type Of School Pickup Line Parent Are You?

November 1, 2021 by Pete Gilbert

school pickup line traffic jam

Get there early, waste time in the school pickup line waiting, get your kid first.

Get there late, waste time waiting in school pickup line, get your kid last.

Whichever path you choose, you’re stuck. Waiting. The pickup line at our preschool is kind of like a traffic jam you voluntarily put yourself into each day.

When I’m sitting in the line, I’m most likely on my phone, reading the news, listening to NPR, checking things out on FB or Twitter … stuff like that. But recently I’ve found something more interesting to do with my time: watch other people while THEY wait. The past couple of weeks I’ve noticed several types of people in the pickup line.

The Overextended Mom

I’m not sure how this parent keeps her sanity, clearly getting no break from children all day long. Even though she’s picking up a kid or two, she has at least three others that are too young for preschool in her 15 passenger van.

The Excessive Groomer

Every day it’s something: nail clipping, pimple popping, makeup applying, etc.

The Socializer 

This person is always out of his or her car, talking to everyone, every day, and usually oblivious when the pickup line actually starts moving.

The Phone Talker

This parent is on the phone while pulling into the lot, waiting for pickup, while the teacher brings kid to the car, while the teacher tries to talk about the child’s day, and when driving away.

The Organizer

I thought I’d seen it all, until this person opened her sliding van door and I peered inside. It was perfect. No junk or clutter anywhere. There was a small plastic carousel organizer full of neatly arranged crayons. What? I’d never seen anything like it. And in the backs of seats where my kids’ stuff all their trash, hers was full of coloring books, regular books, normal kid stuff. It was amazing. Maybe I should hire her.

Photo by Stan from Pexels

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Filed Under: education, National Tagged With: cars, humor, preschool, transportation

About Pete Gilbert

Pete Gilbert is really Brian Craig, a stay-at-home dad to three elementary-school aged kids. He has written for Indy’s Child the Magazine and Cincinnati Parent Magazine. He is also co-organizer of Indianapolis Dads Group and a sixth-grade spelling bee runner-up.

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