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First Father’s Day Brings Doubts Along with Joys

June 24, 2009 by Lance Somerfeld

lance somerfeld baby jake first father's day

Father’s Day has always been a day to appreciate and celebrate with my dad. We usually have a family dinner, brunch, or if lucky, a barbecue. Now, I am included in the mix of this father’s “appreciation” day as well. Enter the greetings cards and I’m sure a few neckties in the years to come.

As I reflect a bit, I realized that this first Father’s Day felt different because it is still hard for me to believe that I am a parent. My son is almost one. One — can you image that? So I find myself asking many questions.

Did I do everything with him that I could have? What can I do with him in the future?

Was I a good enough dad? If not, is there time for me to get better? Can I get better?

Should I have read him more books? Did I read him the right books?

Am I patient enough with him during his fussy moments?

My son can’t answer these questions in words, of course, but he shows me with his smiles and love. It is a pretty special gift for me in bonding with him every day because I am an at-home dad. That is the true gift of father’s day for me this year!

Was this year’s “Hallmark” holiday any different than my normal weekend days? Not really. My family & I got to go for a walk to the park, enjoy a lazy afternoon together, and spend some quality time. Breaking away for an hour to go for a bike ride (my first ride since Jake was born 11 months ago) was a bonus as well!

I still can’t comprehend the fact that I am a dad, but I am sure it will sink in at some point. Do any other new dads (parents) share this feeling?

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Filed Under: at-home parenting, NYC Tagged With: Father's Day, holidays, stay-at-home dads

About Lance Somerfeld

Lance Somerfeld, co-founder of City Dads Group, lives with his wife and two children in New York City. He frequently contributes to the conversation about modern fatherhood, work-life balance, shifting gender roles, and brand’s marketing to dads. He has appeared on local and national television, including CNN, Today and Katie. He has been quoted by The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, GQ, Parenting and The Atlantic.

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