As an openly LGBTQ parent of twins, I’m often asked, “How different is it raising your children?”
Our household must be a complete contrast from our heterosexual counterparts, right? Well, I’ve put together our household routine – let’s count the differences together, shall we?
Wake up and sing
Every morning when the kids wake up, we sing, “Good Morning, Sun.” I take off their sleep sacks, we stretch our arms and give great morning smiles. Sometimes they go on their tummies to stretch after a long sleep in the same position.
Diaper change
The kids really love their diaper changes. (And can you blame them?) Our 6-month-old daughter thinks it’s part of the best playtime ever. She loves to roll away and reach for the wipes, the diaper cream and the clean diapers herself. Once changed, the kids go into their bouncy seats while I work on their bottles.
Feeding time
I sing while preparing the daily bottles, dose out their daily Zantac (baby reflux is real!). Once the bottles are ready, it’s time for the first feeding. The kids love their first bottle of the day. Slurps up, then we burp and move on.
Tummy time and playtime
We head to the mat and gym area of the house and play. I usually sing to them while showing them a myriad of toys to touch, chew and explore. After about 15 minutes, it’s tummy time and some giggles. Oh, and some drool while chewing on the toys. A day isn’t complete without loads of drool.
Nap time
All this work wears the babies out. I set up their sleep sacks and prep the nursery. The blinds are shut and the lights turned off – a slumber haven. I swaddle baby one, bring him or her to the crib and sing that child’s lullaby. Once down, I swaddle and bring in baby two and sing that baby his or her lullaby.
And then while the children are sleeping, it’s time for me to wash the bottles, load the dishwasher, sweep, clean the bathrooms … you get the idea. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I have 10 minutes to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee … in silence.
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By now I’d bet you’re thinking, “This is exactly my life, too.” This is why it’s funny when I am asked how different parenting in LGBTQ households is. In reality, it’s exactly the same. Parenting is parenting no matter the house. We all have similar routines to keep our kids happy and ourselves sane.
Parenting can at times be seen as an equalizer, of sorts. It’s one thing that is truly universal. It can help bring us closer together and find common ground not only as parents but also as people. While we are all different as individuals, our differences are just a mere portion of who we are. As people we are way more similar than dissimilar and, when we find that common ground, we build a strong platform of support and understanding.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeffrey Bernstein, with his husband Brian, is raising twins. Jeffrey is a passionate food scientist with a degree in culinary nutrition. He enjoys preparing good wholesome foods for his family. He initially wrote a version of this for Fathers of Multiples.
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