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The Greater Outdoors are Greater with Clorox Clean Patio Furniture

May 21, 2018 by Whit Honea

DISCLOSURE: This post is sponsored by Clorox®.

Summer gets a lot of press. It’s full of sunshine and backyard shenanigans, days at the beach and family vacations. There are more songs written about summer than all the other seasons combined (give or take). Summer is doing OK for itself, I’d say or — better yet —  write.

However, when you live in Southern California, which I do, summer is often times more of a lifestyle than a specific stretch of calendar. For example, according to the internet, people in some regions of the country actually store their patio furniture for the winter (it’s true!), whereas our tables and chairs stay outdoors year round. That isn’t to say that we use them during those months, but they’re there. We can see them through the window, a steady invitation slowly covered by twigs, cobwebs and the assorted winter visitors who drop by.

The visitors are bird and they often drop by with their droppings. Yuck.

Clean Patio Furniture with Clorox® Regular-Bleach₂ with CLOROMAX® to remove the bird droppings
You’ll need clean patio furniture after these guys hang out on it.

It turns out, the longer we stay away from the patio furniture the more inviting it becomes to our fine, feathered friends, not to mention lizards, squirrels and all the creepy-crawlies of the rainbow.

I like to think, generally speaking, that I run a tidy patio, weather permitting. But weather is a funny thing here and it wasn’t that long ago that we had a sudden weekend of sweltering heat interrupt our regularly scheduled sweater session (during which time the patio furniture was still being rented out as roost along popular migratory lines). It was also the weekend that we had house guests, the kind of people that don’t see the sun for months at a time in their respective homelands of the Pacific Northwest, and, as such, they saw a sliver of golden warmth and longed to bask in it. Their kids were in our backyard before mine were even awake.

I admit, I was embarrassed. I hadn’t really given the patio a lot of thought, what with the sightseeing and the season, but there it was, mocking me. Also, a kid’s elbow was dangerously close to fowl territory. I quickly assembled the group for a spontaneous hiking trip, and checked the weather to make sure there wouldn’t be any future surprises. It was cold again the next morning, and the furniture moved down several spots on the to-do list. All the spots, if I’m being honest.

Clean patio furniture with Clorox power, ease

So when that time of the year when I more or less ignore the patio furniture fades and cleaning becomes a part of my custodial chores, I reach for Clorox® Regular-Bleach₂ with CLOROMAX®. Also, a hose.

Check out this video on how to clean patio furniture with Clorox confidence:

In a nutshell (but never on a nutshell), here’s the secret formula:

  • Just mix 1/2 cup of Clorox® Regular Bleach₂ with CLOROMAX® in 1 gallon of water.
  • Thoroughly wet the surface with the solution. Allow it to remain on the surface for five minutes to kill all those nasty germs.
  • Rinse with clean water and air dry. That simple.
  • Finally, sit on the now-clean surface and yell inside for someone to bring you a beverage, repeat as needed.

Some might complain about having to clean an extra space, but sitting outside on a weekend morning, listening to nature hum, buzz and tweet around me while drinking coffee, reading the paper or watching the kids chase the dog around — that’s worth any bit of elbow grease (which, thanks to the power and ease of Clorox, isn’t much).

However.

HOWEVER.

If one was searching for a downside to this tranquil life outside, it would be that a nice clean patio lends itself to friends hanging out (that’s not the downside), and those friends, eventually will have to go inside to use the facilities (see Step 4 above). When you have two boys, that inside stinks. It stinks really bad.

Luckily, Clorox works there, too. In the video below you’ll find a great way to keep the stink-bowl clean, but for the counters, doorknobs and other areas they might touch on the way to and fro, I prefer to keep Clorox® Clean-Up® Cleaner + Bleach on hand. It’s the fastest, easiest way to keep surfaces as clean humanly possible (although I’m not sure the stench of said bathroom could be quantified as human). Seriously, what’s the deal, guys?

Just watch this how-to video for creating a sparkling clean toilet bowl:

When I think of summer I image blue, sunny skies and clean, crisp scents. I think of bare feet in the grass and smiles on the faces of my children. And then we sit a spell and let the days get away from us. Our now clean patio furniture shines with anticipation, and down the hall our bathroom is spotless, at least for the moment.

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Filed Under: entertainment, relationships Tagged With: cleaning, Clorox, outdoors, sponsored event / post, work-life balance

About Whit Honea

Whit Honea is author of The Parents' Phrase Book, co-founder of Dads 4 Change and frequent contributor to City Dads Group's Modern Dads Podcast. He lives in the greater Los Angeles area with his wife, two sons, and lots of pets. Now with added Facebook and Twitter!

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